Its been two days since Ive seen him. I know i asked for him to give me space, but now i feel like he doesn't care.

Alaia keeps telling me how terrible he looks and that he's been working alot and doesn't sleep. Im worried for him. But i dont know if I want to forgive him now, or at all. But not seeing him has been hard too.

Ive been crying every chance i get to think, and honestly its not even beacuse of the argument its because I love him and not seeing him is just so hard.

I haven't actually eaten anything, i did have icecream yesterday though to make me feel better.

I feel drowsy today, i haven't really gotten out of bed and i just feel glum. I have this weird pit in my stomach like something bad is gonna happen and im just not in the mood for that. I feel like if i get up ill die. Eh. I feel lethargic.

I stand up and walk to the bathroom, but i feel myself loose balance and i dont remember much, just hitting my head.

Its been 2 days. 2 fucking days since ive seen her. Its killing me. My own guilt keeps coming back to me making wanna seriously cause my self pain, more pain then i heard in her beautiful voice.

She flinched, she fucking flinched when i moved closer. And I saw the fear in her eyes that made her sit in the car. I could see and sense all the pain but i couldn't stop talking shit. Im an asshole. The biggest fucking idiot.

The one thing in my life that made my heart feel fucking inflated I fucked it up.

Looking at her clothes in my room but not her just makes me realise how much of a fuck up I am.

Angelo describing how sad and doubtful she was of herself makes me want to kill myself.

I cant. I said i wouldn't but its been two days I have to see her or ill go insane.

~

I had to tweak Angelo a little but he eventually gave me her hotel and room number, now im driving as fast as i can. I get to the hotel and get into the lift.

At her door, ive knocked 10 times and im running out of patience. Either she saw it was me, or there's something wrong.

After having to threaten the managers life, he gave me the key card. I open the door and walk in to see the worst fucking vision.

There she is. My beautiful baby, sitting on the floor holding her head, blood on her hands.

"Fuck" i shout making her jump. I hear a shushing sound and its her. Okay she conscious. I go into the bathroom to look for the med kit and see a red mark on the sink. Fuck.

I run back and sit right in front of her.

"Aria, baby, i need you to remove your hand" she's covering her wound I cant see how deep it is.

"No" she mumbles. "i dont need your help, im too poor for your services" she says sarcastically. Fuck fuck shit.

"Baby, please im sorry just let me help amore, please" Never in my whole fucking life have i been fearful. And of blood? Ive seen so much fucking blood i dont care anymore. But her blood is making me crazy, its sending shivers up and down my spine. I hate it.

She looks at me in the eyes, i can see the pain in hers. She sighs and drops her hand, looking away. Its not that deep, its a sratch, still kind off deep. I clean up around it then bandage it for now. Ill take her to the hospital.

I go into the bathroom and get a towel and warm water to clean her up. Once ive wiped her everywhere, no blood in sight, I put stuff back and walk to her.

"Baby" she looks at me. "Do you want to change?" she looks around as if contemplating. Then makes a sudden move to stand up making her stumble, i reach out to steady her but she holds a hand out. Fuck the sinking feeling.

I watch as she walk to the sliding cupboard and takes out leggings and a shirt. A mans shirt. Not mine.

What the fuck.