My hair was a mess. It was even worse than sex hair, all over the place and the only way I could tame it was by washing it. Jacob didn't seem to mind. His internal alarm went off and around six in the morning, he rolled out of bed, waking me by kissing my cheek. He brushed his fingers very affectionately over my cheek and then pulled away.

Did he just try to wake me because he was awake?

I rolled away from him, "Jerk." I mumbled, tiredly, trying to hide my face beneath my pillow.

"It's not what you said last night."

I peeked at him from underneath my pillow, "I was occupied."

His smug look made me glare at him as best I could with tired eyes. He walked away from me in his boxers which fitted snugly around his hips. He was getting ready for the day. It was a Saturday but I suppose Jacob Blackwood needed to make a quick trip to the office after last night's PR disaster. I sat up, pulling the sheets up though Jacob's white shirt did keep me warm enough. It smelled like him too.

Fresh and inviting.

I eyed the closed bathroom door cautiously. He'd be a while it would be enough time for me to sneak a peek. Curiosity killed the cat they say but how could I not watch that stupid video? I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and searched for the video. It wasn't that hard to find, everyone was sharing it. I ignored the dirty comments and also the hateful comments. All I wanted was to see how Jacob was with another woman.

I definitely lost it.

Holding my breath I pressed play and tilted the screen. It was the worst decision I made. The sex wasn't even exciting. Fenna was seated on the edge of the desk while Jacob fucked her. Thankfully both of them wore their clothes so there were no body parts I didn't want to see. Jacob and I had more passion between us, it was clear from viewing this video yet I still hated it. I couldn't see him like that. I didn't want to see another woman enjoy her time with him like that. Quickly tapping away I dropped my phone beside me on the messy bed and buried my face in my hands, trying to talk myself out of crying.

I couldn't cry.

Jacob would know I watched the video even though he more or less demanded of me not to watch it because of this reason. He tried to persuade me last night. It ended up with us in bed, going at it for hours. It was great and we both enjoyed it. I needed to focus on that, remind myself of the look in his eyes when he hovered above me and kept the pace nice and slow.

Eyes filled with warmth, that was only for me.

I felt a bit better and when Jacob strolled out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist I could greet him with a smile. It was a small smile but it was still a smile which reached my eyes. He could brush it off as me being tired and not yet awake.

"There is something I want to discuss with you." He passed me and walked into his nice walk-in closet.

"What's that?"

He walked out of the closet, wearing black boxers and his white shirt unbuttoned showing off his firm chest and all the nice muscles. The red scratches on his chest making me bite my lower lip as I remembered the passionate night we shared.

His eyes glittered yet he still managed to talk about whatever was on his mind, "Have you seriously thought about our future together?" He asked, his eyes narrowing on me.

I shook my head, I hadn't actually thought about what I wanted from this. Marriage and then kids, I suppose. It's what I demanded of Lucas yet he couldn't give it to me. I didn't demand it of Jacob, but that could be because we didn't spend much time together as an actual couple. He didn't have the time.

I needed to accept that because this was my future now.

"I haven't really thought about it," I admitted to him.

We were supposed to be completely honest with each other. Hiding the fact that I watched the video was not a lie per se. It was me trying to avoid an argument. He told me not to do it but I did it anyway. Now I regretted it. It would be an 'I told you so' argument and I wasn't looking forward to that.

"I need you to stop taking your birth control."

I bit my lip too hard, completely taken off guard by that demand of his. We weren't even married yet. A family picture perfect life is what I wanted but that didn't mean I wanted it right now. Jacob had other plans. It felt more like a strategic move than him actually wanting kids. So I didn't want to stop taking my birth control. I wasn't ready to use my kids to help Jacob have the picture-perfect family life to use it to his own benefit.

"I'm not doing that," I whispered.

He stopped buttoning up his shirt and stared at me, "Isn't that what you want? It's why you broke up with that guy and chose me, right?"

It was a dirty move of him to bring up Lucas and the reason as to why I supposedly chose Jacob. It was one of the reasons and so it would make me look like a bitch if I suddenly decided that I wasn't ready for marriage and kids.

"We're not even married yet."

That was a weak excuse and the look in Jacob's eyes told me so. He buttoned up his shirt and turned his back to me, heading back inside his walk-in closet to grab his suit.

"I'm speeding that up. We're getting married in three months. A spring wedding should do it, right?"

I wanted to tell him that it wasn't possible to organize a wedding in three months but I'm sure Jacob could get away with it. Money was everything as he once told me. I'm sure people would jump through hoops to give him what he wanted. In three months we'd have the huge wedding which people would talk about for months.

"I don't want to have a pregnant belly when wearing my dress."

"I'm sure you can find a dress which could hide it. You wouldn't be huge by the time we get married."

He walked out wearing a navy suit, looking all put together. He looked very much like the CEO Jacob Blackwood while I felt a little underdressed facing him now. The way he eyed me told me he knew I was making up excuse after excuse. He knew I didn't want to have his baby yet.

It just wasn't the right time.

"This is what you wanted." He reminded me firmly, "We're just speeding up the process."

I swallowed nervously, "I'll think about it."

The twitch of his lips told me he wasn't happy about that answer. A smile spread across his face yet it felt cold and distant. He was unhappy with me. He just needed to learn that not everything went his way all the damn time. He couldn't order me to stop taking my birth control. It was in my right to decide when I was ready to have his baby.

"Okay." He stepped to me and leaned in, kissing my temple, "That's all I ask." He then pulled away and stepped back, "I'm heading to the office, I'll be back for dinner."

I smiled at him, "Okay."

I couldn't go back to sleep after that weird conversation we had. Rolling out of bed I locked myself up in the bathroom to clean up. The entire time I was taking care of myself I couldn't help but think about Jacob's demand. I didn't understand how a kid fit into all of this. It didn't make sense. He talked about it like it was just another business deal. There was no emotion behind it. It wasn't something he actually wanted it felt like. It was something he needed. The question was why he needed it.

Nick came over even though he needed some time to himself to recharge emotionally. It had been quite dramatic so I didn't blame him for needing it. I needed it too but Jacob kept throwing very loaded stuff at me. It was unfair since my brain hadn't been working properly so early in the morning. When I did collect myself and thought about what my future husband asked of me it still didn't make sense.

"It's obviously to make Fenna appear like the bad guy in this scenario. She'll be the woman who tried to break up a family. No one knows when you two started dating, all they know is that you got engaged recently." Nick sipped his coffee and thanked Mrs. Quake who came over with homemade chocolate chip cookies which were the size of my head, "And everyone is sympathetic toward the Merigold heiress. Little do they know that Nina Merigold can be kind of a-"

"Don't say it," I warned him.

My brother grinned at me, "You don't have to hide from your family. We accept you just the way you are"

I frowned as I nibbled away at my white chocolate chip cookie which was so sweet but went so well together with the black coffee.

"I told him I'm not ready yet."

"You are not ready yet." Nick agreed, "You just decided to marry this guy, what you two need is to spend some time together to you know, figure out if you can actually make this work."

"We can make this work, I'm not concerned about that."

I really didn't doubt that. Jacob and I were a good team when we were on the same page, when we weren't on the same page I got a little worried because we both would fight for what we believed in. Jacob always won that fight.

He couldn't win this one.

"What are you worried about?" Nick asked.

I met his concerned gaze, saying the words out loud I actually wanted to keep to myself. It would make Jacob appear like a cold-hearted bastard, but he really wasn't that guy. Not all the time and definitely not with me.

"That he only wants to use the baby for obvious reasons. That he won't care about the child."

"That would make him a monster, wouldn't it?"

I nodded, swallowing nervously, "It would."

Nick sighed, leaning back against the comfy couch. He sipped his coffee taking his time to process everything I've told him. He could take his time because I was currently living inside my head. The first thought which crossed my mind was to keep my birth control pills safe.

"Mom and dad weren't ready to have kids, they never were ready but they still had us and we turned out okay."

He wasn't wrong about that. Mom and dad were both focused on their careers, we came in second place but that was okay. We turned out okay. Jacob might not be able to be in the child's life that much but I'd be there. They would have a better family life than I ever had.

"Are you trying to convince me now?" I asked curiously.

Nick shook his head, "Definitely don't have kids right now. Trust me, it's not the right time with everything which is going on right now. Just get married first."

That's what I kept thinking too. Christmas was coming up first and we should do something then. Family dinner or some social event we could attend to show people we were still strong together. Then we'd get married and maybe sometime later kids would come along too.

Just not right now.

Hiding my birth control pills before Jacob came home was my first priority. It was awful of me but I just didn't trust him around them. Not when he looked so determined to have his way