I kept on fiddling with my fingers, and looking at the numbers count down, while bouncing my eyes to the doors and then back at the numbers again.

It was my first time back in a few weeks. I was nervous and it felt like I needed to throw up everything I ate this morning.

And 1% of it was because I was kind of worried and anxious to catch up on the work that I missed, and getting back to the flow of my job.

The other 99% of it was because of one person. The man that let alone his name gives me chills, and the slight glimpse of him makes my heart beat faster every minute.

Asher.

I went over to his house a few days ago, thinking he was still at work but nope he wasn't. HE was there.

In all his beautiful glory.

He asked if we could talk which ended up in an argument like always. However, he finally opened up to me, and told me the reason that he was gone that night. With Pots flying and broken vases included.

I was so devastated when I heard about his past with Victoria. I can't believe she threw him away like he was nothing, and then broke him.

Leaving him scorned, and hurt, and forced him to feel like he was nothing and that he doesn't deserve everything in the world.

Which he does, and it makes me feel sad that he actually feels that way about himself. I also felt...

Guilty.

All this time I thought he had an ego, and just being a heartless person sometimes, and that he didn't care.

But, the thing is he didn't know how to care or love again. Believe me, I'm not making excuses for him, but when something like that, a traumatic event like what Asher went through.

It causes the person to create defense mechanisms. Which pushes people away, and to base future relationships on his past one.

I don't blame him, because many of us do it. I mean after Julian left me I felt like I could never find someone. That every guy I ran across will hurt me just like him.

Finally, I got over it and moved on to be a healthy individual and mom for myself and my daughter.

Asher just needs to forgive and let go when he's ready. It just sucks because I want him, but I just don't want a portion of him, I want all of him.

So, until he can tell me that he can give me that. Then I can't be with him.

And that's what hurts me the most.

The frightening fact that I can't be with him.

It's crazy how much damage and pain people can inflict on us, and cause us to be broken, and cripple from living a full life.

I know a lot of us say that words can't hurt, or situations, and comments don't bother us but it's a lie.

I mean somehow, someway, we all get hurt by words, or hard situations whether it's big or small. Yes, there just words, but their powerful, hurtful, words that can effect us on our daily life, and the prime example of that is Asher.

The elevator finally dinged and opened. I stepped out, and the first thing I seen was Tracey running to me with open arms.

She finally engulfed me in a hug, and squeezed me tightly. To the point where it was hard to breath.

"Tracey, I really like you and you're really nice, but can you please let me go so I can actually inhale and exhale." I said grasping for air.

She let go of me quickly, and put her hands on her side smiling at me big.

"Sorry!" She said practically screaming.

"Haha it's okay." I said laughing a little.

We instantly got back into talking, while walking to the break room. She asked me millions of questions most of them concerning Asher.

I did admit to her that we were together, but we're not anymore.

"So where do you guys stand?" She asked me.

I know you're probably thinking why she's asking personal questions, but Tracey and I have gotten close over the couple months.

Especially since Hawaii, I can actually call her a good friend of mine. She's always bubbly, understanding, and plus she dishes out all her drama with Jason without expecting me to tell her anything.

"Honestly, I don't know. All I know is that I want a for sure and forever thing with him, and I don't think he can give me that right now you know?"

"Yeah, do you think he will ever?" She asked me to scrunch her eyebrows.

"I hope so, but I definitely think that he's capable of doing so." I said shrugging my shoulders and finishing up his coffee.

"Well, I hope everything goes well for you guys. I mean I wouldn't imagine anyone better for him and vice versa." She said smiling.

I returned the smile, and nodded my head. We stepped out of the work space together.

"Hold on, does he know that you are here today for your first day back?" She said stopping me from walking.

I totally forgot, I don't know how I can space something that important. Or maybe I just didn't want to call him, and tell him?

"I guess it slipped my mind?" I said in more of a question then a statement.

She chuckled at my response, turned around to her desk, sat in her chair, and looked up at me.

"Well, tell me the details when you come back for lunch. I do not want to miss this drama." She said

"It's not that big of deal." I said rolling my eyes in a playful manner.

"We're talking about Asher, the same person that got mad the first couple days you worked here because you were simply getting lunch?" She said looking at me like I was crazy.

It finally did settled in.

"Yup, never mind then I guess I will be telling you all the 'drama'. Only if you spill about your one and only Jason!" I yelled to her while walking backwards.

She looked around and gave me a sssh sound with her finger to her lips in a shocked face because I said that out loud.

There was no one even close to us, and no one would even care. Everyone is to focus on making the boss happy then to care for anything else.

I shook my head laughing looking at her one last time before I entered the hall heading towards Asher’s office.

I finally came in front of his doors but before I could knock. The door swing wide open showing Asher's face.

We connected eyes for a minute. His in pure shock, and mine in confusion. Where was he going in such a rush?

I spoke up first.

"Where are you going?" I asked

"What--aarr-e you doing here?" He asked stumbling over his words.

What the heck is wrong with him?

"I'm working what else am I doing, now tell me where are you going?"

"To a meeting, and working? Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" He asked me directly while cornering me outside of his door.

"It's not that big of a deal Asher, now tell me about this meeting." I looked at him with narrowed eyes.

"What meeting?" he said

"The meeting you just talked about two minutes ago!?" I said looking at him frustrated.

He looked at me and then back at the door again. Hold on he was nervous this must be a big meeting.

When Asher often has big meetings, he gets like this. I usually calm him down by holding his hand or giving him a speech before.

"You're nervous?"

He scoffed at my comment but responded. " Nervous please-"

"You don't have to front Asher I know your nervous. I'm going to the meeting let's go."

"No, Natalia-"

"Stop you always do this every time you’re nervous for a meeting. "

"First: you don't want me to go because you don't want me to see you like this."

"Second: we get in a huge argument over it."

"Lastly: I finally win and we end up going to the meeting with me at your side."

"So, let's just skip the argument part for now, shut your trap! And let's go" I said raising my voice, and shoving the coffee in his hand.

He looked at me for a little, and then nodded his head in defeat. He walked up to me and looked at me before we exited the hall.

"Fine, but we're not done with this conversation." He stated hinting about me coming back to work without telling him.

"I don't plan on it." I said muttering to myself.

*******

The meeting went fine as I thought it would.

It went smoothly, so we were now seated in his expensive limo driving back to National Elect Industries.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?” He asked flipping through his papers.

Oh, here we go again.

"Just drop it!" I said.

"No, I'm not-"

"No, you are, because if you can't tell me more about Victoria, and the baby. Then I don't need to explain anything." I said in a soft voice.

"I already told you-" He started saying dropping his pen from writing and looking at me now.

"Yes, you did but only half of it. There's still bits of the story that I'm lost on or worried about Asher."

He looked at me, before he turned to his papers again, and asked the most stupid question for this serious conversation.

"So, how's Miya?"

I scoffed and threw my hands in the air. "Wow typical Asher, avoiding the subject, because it's too much for him. This is the exact reason why we will never go far in this relationship!" I said raising my voice.

He snapped his head at me in anger, closed his files of paper work, and threw them on the other side of the seat.

He hunched forward putting his elbows on his knees and his hands intertwined together in front of his legs looking at me with a tense stare.

I crossed my arms, and legs giving him the same look back.

"What!?"

He just kept on staring at me before he responded.

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

He sat back fully in his seat yelled to the limo driver to stop here. Once the limo stopped he got out of the limo leaving the door open.

This was it he was going to leave me. I felt sick, I was going to start screaming and fussing till I heard my name.

"Aren't you coming Natalia?" I heard him ask from outside the limo.

I stepped out and we were in front of a little cafe. I turned to him ready to protest.

"I will answer every question you ask. I will tell you everything in the whole entire world about me if you do me a favor in return."

"And what is that?" I questioned

He stepped a little closer to me, to point where I can smell his minty breath fanning my face.

"Go to lunch with me?" He held out his hand for me to take it.

Man, he's is so slick. I looked at the cafe, then to him, and to the limo.

I had three options:

I can go in the limo and go back to the hotel where I was currently staying at with Miya, and quit my job, and leave never seeing him again.

I can stand out here forever looking dumb not saying anything. While he waits for answer because I know he won't leave until he gets one.

Or I can go into that cafe have a simple lunch with him while he finally opens up. The thing I've been waiting for months now.

I looked at his hand before I took it in my own, he looked at me and smile and said the most annoying words

"Good choice." He whispered in my ear.

I rolled my eyes at his comment. However, we headed into the doors of this little cafe with our hands intertwined together.

******

After we were finished with our lunch. I spoke up first.

"So how did you guys meet?" I asked putting my hands together under my chin and looking at him.

He sighed before he answered

Here we go this is it. I'm finally going to get these answers.

” I was going to a business meeting. It was one of my first ones. This meeting was mainly based on who can invest in the company I have now. And unfortunately, she was a part of that company, and she was there."

"Her beauty caught my eye first, but the more I got to talk to her I fell for her easily. I asked her out on a date and she agreed."

"Our first date was engraved in my mind for weeks. I mean she was perfect all around, and she was the perfect match for me. I mean my parents even fell in love with her, I did, and not just our own personal feelings but our careers mushed in so well together that we did business well. I mean I even joined my company with hers." He said looking at me

"I didn’t know that you joined companies with her? Is that why you are so reluctant in joining or doing business with anyone else? I asked.

He looked at the lemon floating in his water before he answered with a nod.

"Yeah, and the sneaky thing she did after that?" He said sitting up more looking out the window in anger.

"What do you mean?" I asked genuinely looking at him.

"After we joined our companies together. It was about a year that we were dating, and I fell in love with her. I proposed to her and she obviously said yes. A few months after that we built a home together and soon became pregnant."

He looked down and breathed heavy, he rubbed his hands through his face and eyes. He was burned with pain.

I should have never done this. I'm bringing up too much bottled emotions.

"Asher ,we can stop if you-" I was starting to say but he interrupted me.

"No, I need to get this out, it's been too long." He said shaking his head looking down at his plate.

I nodded my head and let him continue.

"We were so happy. I would even call us the happiest couple of that time. I mean I had everything that I wanted... So, I thought."

"One night I was sleeping in our bed when I heard a scream from the bathroom. I woke up and opened the door, and there was Victoria lying on the floor with blood coming from her legs."

"I rushed her to the hospital, and soon after they said we miscarried our baby. I was so confused, and hurt. We were happy, everything was perfect one moment and the next it wasn't."

"After that day, she wasn't the same. She would leave hours of the night, and days at a time. I would blow up her phone and message her but she would never answer. She kept her distance from me, and I couldn't reel her back in."

"She came home drunk one night. I tried to get her to our bed safely but she kept on hitting me and claiming for me to let her go so I did. Once I got her on the floor she took out loads of broken pieces of paper from her purse. Screaming in my face that she was sleeping with all these men that were on these papers, claiming that she didn't love me no more."

"However, I ignored it, I thought she was drunk she didn't know what she was saying. However, they say a drunk mind, exposes sober thoughts it was true."

"The next day I found out half of my bank account was empty, and the house that we got together there was no trace of her not even a note or a letter saying a goodbye. Nothing."

"She took half of the shares, from our joined company which damaged my business tremendously, and cause my dad to blame everything on me from the miscarriage up to the money that was taken from me."

"So, yes when I saw her that night. I needed to get answers from her, I haven't seen the woman that put me through hell and back for years just standing there." He said sitting back in his seat fiddling with a piece of paper in his hand.

"So, you didn't sleep with her?" I asked in a whisper.

He looked up at me, and answered.

"No, I will never, I just wanted answers." He said shrugging his shoulders.

I let out a breath I was holding, and felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I just stayed silent thanking the Lord that he didn't sleep with her.

"I know Natalia, I know I shouldn't have even bothered-"

"No Asher there's no need to apologize for trying to get answers. I would have done the same thing."

I said tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, and looking up at him continuing.

"The only reason why I was mad is because you refused to tell me anything about her or that night. Which led me to assume that you slept with her."

He nodded his head, and looked ashamed at all the past events.

"Did you get your answers?" I asked

"Yeah, she claimed that she was just coping from the loss of our baby by sleeping with men. And that it was hard for her to go through." He said laughing a little bit.

I kind of looked at him weird, I think he registered what he was doing because he explained himself quickly.

"Believe me I'm not laughing because of the whole thing. I'm laughing at the fact that after all these years Victoria still doesn't see what she did wrong, and didn't even take my feelings into consideration. She just did what she did for her, and didn't care about me in the process, and she still doesn't realize that she broken me in ways she'll never understand. It just concludes that she was nothing but a conniving, manipulative, heartless woman from the beginning." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"I felt embarrassed and humiliated that she took advantage of the loss of our baby to do the things she did and not apologize for it, leaving me looking stupid that I even considered her to be my wife and carry my child in the first place."

After he sobered up and finished talking, while I looked out the window, and realized it was dark outside.

I looked back at him but already caught him staring at me. I gave him a smile reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Thank you, Asher." I said to him

He looked at me for a whole full minute thinking about something, before he nodded his head and grabbed my hand getting me up from the table.

We walked out got into the limo. Sitting in the same positions that we were in before we got out hours ago.

The ride was silent before he spoke up.

"You believe me, right? That I didn't sleep with her?" He asked with concerning eyes.

I looked at him and realized that he was changing.

He was actually starting to care of what I thought.

He was opening up finally.

I decided to ruin the moment like always.

"Oh, Asher the big, bad, mysterious man caring what I think? I'm starting to think that you are actually-

"There you go again-"

"Ruining it" We said at the same time laughing a little bit.

The limo stopped at National Elect Industries. We both walked out, him walking me to the car.

Before I got in I stopped turned around and looked at him.

"Thank you again for telling me, and for lunch, you are changing, and opening up and that's all I asked for." I said looking down.

"And Yes, I do believe you." I said looking up at him and putting my hand to his face.

He gave me a big smile, and planted a kiss on my lips. I pulled him tighter to me craving more.

He pushed me against my car lightly kissing me harder while touching my sides. After a while it was getting very heated so I decided to separate myself a little bit catching my breath.

"Not so fast, I'm not letting you in that quickly." I said looking at him fully tracing his lips with my thumb.

"What-

"You're going to chase me a little while longer." I leaned forward whispering his ear.

I pulled back and saw him biting on his lip, and looking at me in the eyes.

On that note, I opened up the door fully and quickly and got in. Setting my purse and files down. However, I heard a small tap on my window.

I looked up and seen him standing there still pushing his finger down signaling for me to roll down the window so I did.

Once the window was down he leaned forward on the vehicle with his arms separated on each side. where he was inches apart from me.

"You must have forgot who I am, I always love a good chase." He said smirking at me.

"Then there should be no problem" I said shrugging my shoulders and looking at him with a tense stare.