After three hours of Liam screaming on the plane and receiving dirty looks from every passenger on the flight, he quiets down.

To complete my embarrassment and total mortification Eira decides to wake from her latest milk induced coma and begins to scream blue murder.

It seemed she felt that after the hours of peace from her, it was her turn to reek havoc after Liam gave up. She is clearly upset at being uprooted and wants to announce it to anyone who will listen, willingly or not.

Before we left this morning I called ahead to the number Hacker found belonging to my sister. I felt it was best not to just show up unannounced, I have been missing for almost four years.

I told her we were coming and to not tell my parents, not so that I can surprise them but because I'm honestly scared of what they may do if they hear I'm returning- and not alone.

The reaction of my sister made me realise just how much I had missed her. She wept in joy at the realisation her sister wasn't in fact dead and lost somewhere in the world. I'll admit I cried into Vidar's chest along with her.

"My heart?" Vidar calls to me after quieting Eira down with a special knack he posses, one that I am yet to discover.

"You do realise your parents probably won't approve of me, don't you."

I swallow, worrying about hurting his feelings, but I know it to be true. There was a reason I was Miss innocent before I was taken, I wasn't allowed to even look at boys.

Even the posh private school lads that most parents would approve of, secretly my least favourite. They are always rude and never what I wanted in life. Although I didn't realise it at 16, I needed something I would never have looked for, had I not driven straight into it.

Vidar was my other half, I didn't care if my parents approved or not- they would never feel my love for him.

"I realise that. But I don't care. I lived with their judgement for 17 years and I know that they wouldn't approve of anyone, so it's not personal to you. I hope you don't mind it though. They will be unpleasant."

He leans over, careful not to upset Eira and presses his lips onto my cheek.

"I can handle it baby, and it's only for an afternoon and I'm a big boy."

He winks at me and flexes his muscles under his shirt. His playful nature is something that I love about Vidar in a truly pure way, the way he can always make me smile is something special.

Liam has had enough of the picture book I've been distracting him with for the past half an hour and he begins to grizzle again.

Hurriedly, not wanting to risk another screaming fit, I get out some baby biscuits for him to eat. The success of his silence is short lived as he ultimately decides that unloading the contents of his stomach all over Vidar and Eira is the right decision to make this flight truly perfect.

Staring at my fiancé and daughter covered in my son's vomit is too much for the still hormonal me, and I promptly burst into tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When we land, Vidar takes the executive decision to utilise that fact that my parents are not expecting us, meaning we can stop in at the hotel and clear the remaining stink of baby vomit from our clothes.

Whilst cleaning up Eira in the plane toilet, she decided to place the cherry on the cake, and vomited all over me. Honestly, motherhood is not easy. I now stink of soured milk so I was only too grateful for Vidar's idea.

After my shower, I sit on the bed and bite my nails as Vidar gently brushes the tops of Liam's baby teeth so the acrid vomit doesn't damage them. Liam is not too keen on the whole idea of tooth brushes because he whines and squirms to get out of his father's arms and away from the offending brush.

"Don't worry, my heart. Everything will be fine, and if not, we can just leave- ok? I won't let them do anything to you or our babies."

I nod and try to push my anxiety down into a ball in my stomach. My mother was a vindictive control freak who liked to keep me under her shoe, before my sister got pregnant I was always the disappointment of the family, then that changed. But now I would again be the disgrace of the family, not that I really mind any more; they're not my family.

We take a taxi from the hotel to my parents town house in the city, my father was a rather successful businessman in my city, I imagine my disappearance caused quite the scandal.

I point out places to Liam through the window, his mouth hangs open as he watches the colours fly by, drool dribbling down his bottom lip. I catch it in a tissue and ball it up into my pocket for later use. Vidar has Eira strapped into her baby carrier and she is holding his finger as he coos sweet nothings at her and brushes the dark sweeps of hair from her forehead.

We pull up to the house I know all too well, I grip Vidar's free hand like a vice.

His thumb strokes patterns on my goose-bumped skin. I lean into Liam and breathe in his baby smell, letting it calm me down slightly. He drools more and gurgles as I carry him from the taxi. Vidar pays the man and follows after me up the steps with Eira in his arm, her carrier in the other.

Taking a deep breath, I knock at the door.

It is immediately thrown open by my sister, her face is initially overcome with happiness and then shock as she takes in the massive man behind me and then a blank look overcomes her face as she takes in Liam in my arms, and Eira in V's.

"Astrid!" She exclaims breathlessly, "I can't believe you're here." The tears start to fall down her cheeks as she pulls me into her arms. Liam's hands bat against her face lightly as the proximity enables him to do so.

"Please come in, mum and dad are out for the time being."

My sister, Doretha, is four years older than me, but she hasn't left home yet. I doubt she ever will, after they took her baby she struggled to recover.

She was too young to ever experience a pain like that and recover. What's even sadder, is for the five years I was still with her after the event, she carried a pillow to feel like she was still holding the baby.

I never even knew she was pregnant, nor if the baby was a boy or a girl. I doubt Doretha knows either the answer either.

She opens the door welcomingly and we both step over the threshold and into my childhood home. We kick off our shoes and pad towards the sitting room. I place Liam on the floor once I've scanned it for dangers.

He crawls off and finds the corner of the rug, he plonks himself down on his pudgy bottom and begins to lift up the corner, then drop it. Squealing each time with the thud it produces.

Doretha perches on the sofa and stares at him, a sofa cushion up tight against her stomach. Vidar is sitting beside me, holding Eira in a blanket as the house is cold, as cold as I remember.

I try to talk with my sister, but she's too distracted with watching Liam to properly engage in conversation with me. I'm glad she hasn't asked me to explain my disappearance- I only want to tell the story once.

Dot has begun to rock herself forwards and back, only slightly, but I notice it. I do it if Vidar doesn't tell me about it, I don't even notice it, it's a subconscious embodiment of my nerves. It always happens when I recess deep into my anxiety and memories.

Vidar clears his throat, breaking the silence of the room save for Liam still making the rug thump.

"Would you like to hold her?" He asks my sister softly, gesturing to the awake, but cuddly Eira. She'll be hungry soon and then she'll nap- now is the optimum moment to hold her.

Doretha looks round at us with round eyes. The cushion drops to the floor and her arms outstretch for the baby eagerly.

I must admit, I'm surprised, I myself would have no issue with my sister holding Eira. Vidar, however, is fiercely protective of his daughter, it took Mouse three days of persuading before he could hold her- even under his supervision! But this time he seems only too content to hand his daughter into the arms of my sister.

She takes the bundle of blankets and holds her close, tears stream down her face as she bends down and kisses her forehead. She gasps in delight when Eira reaches her hands out, star-fished and inviting, and bump against her face.

"She's gorgeous, Astrid. Truly perfect. And so is he," she gestures with her eyes to the trouble making Liam, "you're so lucky."

I blush and nod in agreement. "She's called Eira- and that's Liam."

"Eira means snow... doesn't it?"

I bite my lip and nod. "Yes she was born in winter, when snow was falling.

My sister's attention is turned back to Eira, she holds her even closer to her body and rocks her slowly. There is such a great lamenting mournfulness about her that my heart breaks repeatedly as I think of the motherhood that was robbed from her. If I ever lost my babies, I know I would never be able to function without them again.

Our happy bonding is shattered by the sound of a key turning in the lock.

My mother bustles into the room, ladened down with shopping bags. In her truest form, she looks straight past Vidar, straight past me, her missing for 3 and a half years daughter, and hones in on Doretha and the baby in her arms.

Her voice is as shrill and cold as I remember.

"What are you doing with a baby, Doretha?" She spits out, and I watch my elder sister wither in on herself and collapse.