This chapter contains discipline, impact play

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With a tug, he turned me around and pushed me towards the kitchen, not letting go of my arm, which was still pressed tightly against my back. Frantically I tried to understand why we were going to the kitchen, when we were already in the bedroom. He answered my unspoken question by pushing me down on my stomach over the kitchen table.

"Your bed is pitifully unequipped to properly tie you down in," he remarked coldly as he pushed my legs apart. "Hands in front of you on the table. Don't move."

The way he said it left no room for protest, so I remained leaning over the table with my arms outstretched in front of me. I heard him walk back into the bedroom. I took a deep breath. This was no problem; I had done this before and I could do it again. The main thing was that Ash seemed to have woken up from his temporary insanity and was acting more like himself again. Maybe a little too much like himself. After all, I certainly hadn't said any nice things to him.

"You... can use the paddle if you want," I said hesitantly to him, to maybe put him in a lighter mood.

But all I heard was a snort and footsteps coming back into the kitchen.

"You don't get to choose what you're punished with, if that's what you think."

Ash pulled my sweats off and tied my ankles tightly around the table legs on the short end of the table. His movements were firm and without the slightest softness and when he got to the other short side, he looked at me closely and cocked his head. His gaze was impossible to read, it glinted like blue fire, and he seemed totally focused on what he was doing right now. Without a word he tied my arms so that they were stretched across the table and suddenly I was completely pinned down. The only thing I could move now was my head.

"Ash, I-," I tried.

"Hush. The only thing I wanna hear coming out of your mouth right now is the number of hits you're getting. And keep the moaning to a minimum, we've got neighbors to think about, don't we?"

He gave me a meaningful raised eyebrow. My God, he was completely serious. My breathing became shallow, and I just looked back at him in silence. He nodded in pleased satisfaction to himself and walked behind me. The tools I could recall were the riding crop and the paddle. I hadn't seen anything else, and if I was reading Ash correctly now, I wasn't going to get the easiest of them. In other words, he must have picked the paddle. The blow from it I could still remember, and I squeezed my eyes shut. The cool leather of the broad paddle suddenly rested against one of my butt cheeks, as if he wanted me to know what was coming.

"Ready?" I heard him say, as the paddle caressed my skin.

No, not even fucking close.

"Yes," I mumbled, barely able to exhale before the first blow came and I groaned. "One."

The pain of the blow was just as I remembered it, the initial shock of sharp pain spreading like a ripple through my body and then the dull ache. I knew I had managed it before. So, I concentrated hard on keeping count and not making too much noise. But when I had counted to seven, I began to realize something. He wasn't putting in as much effort as I thought he would. It wasn't at all like in Oubliette, where I had been completely out of it, now I was able to keep my thoughts in my head without any problems. It hurt, but it was totally bearable.

When I groaned out strike number ten, he suddenly stopped. He had been completely silent during the whipping, and I hadn't been able to turn around to get a glimpse of his mood. Was it over? Unable to stop myself, I exhaled loudly. Then I noticed him coming up to me with a small smile playing across his lips. In his hand he held a rattan cane. My heart did a double beat of pure dread.

"Did you think ten strokes of the paddle would be enough for what came out of that pretty little mouth of yours earlier?" he smiled. "Then you're sorely fucking mistaken. That was just the warm-up. And be thankful I warmed you up, kitten, 'cause you'll need it for this one."

He let the cane swish through the air and the sound alone sent shivers through my entire body. Ash's eyes glimmered as he brushed a strand of hair away from my forehead and the touch was so gentle that the contrasting emotions in me almost made me try to lean my head against his hand, but I stopped myself at the last second.

"I won't make you count, 'cause you won't be able to anyway," he said calmly. "And I'll take it easy. But easy doesn't mean nice, okay? Canes aren't nice. Trust me."

He was enjoying this; I could hear it in his voice. He enjoyed this far too much, and I couldn't get the sound of the rattan cane out of my head as he walked behind me again. The tip of the cane slid over one of my butt cheeks and then he began to make light, quick taps with it. The feeling was quite different to anything I had felt before, it buzzed in the skin that was already sore from the paddle and each quick tap was reverberating outward.

Then came a sudden, brutal blow. I groaned loudly, the pain was stinging and seconds later came an even greater searing pain that spread in waves. God, that was just one blow. I breathed through my mouth as he continued his small quick taps, and the next hard blow came against my other cheek. I gasped and tried to bite my tongue to keep from screaming out loud. The light taps became fewer and the hard ones more frequent and I breathed heavily as the tears caused by the pain trickled unstoppably down my cheeks. It was like my whole body was on fire.

"You still think I'm too much of a pussy for you?" I heard Ash ask behind me and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"H-hn... n-no..." I moaned through my teeth.

After a while the fiery pain vibrating in me and slowly began to morph. That strange wave of calm, of freedom and total carefree-ness slowly began to sweep through my body. The blows didn't feel as hard anymore, but each time they came, the wave within me intensified and my mind began to fray at the edges.

"Do you regret what you said before?" Ash said, his voice getting further away.

"Yeah..." I mumbled absently, not really sure what I was responding to.

The beating stopped at once and I watched in a haze as Ash came forward and crouched down in front of the table, so that our faces were level with each other. I was so disconnected from myself that I had trouble meeting his gaze, but I could see the smile on his lips. It was completely irresistible.

"You have a beautiful ass right now," he said softly. "Want some more, kitten?"

Without really being able to understand why, I nodded. The only thing on my mind right now was that feeling, that completely liberating feeling. I wanted more of it. Wanted to drown in it. He smiled and ran his palm down both my cheeks, which were completely soaked. When he was back behind me, I felt him slide his hand over my butt cheeks and the skin became wet with my tears.

Then he resumed the small, quick taps and now it felt utterly different. The moisture from my tears made the strokes sharper, more intense and my head was spinning. The first hard blow made me moan loudly and the wave pulled through me so powerfully that I lost track of where I was.

"Caning is my favorite thing," I heard Ash muse quietly from somewhere far away. "It makes the most beautiful marks on the body."

There was no more pain, just the dull sensations of something thudding against my skin and I was floating somewhere in a void, a vacuum. There was only peace and freedom from everything where I was. And the lulling sound of his voice.

"Rattan canes make such a nice sound too. Just like you. You make such pretty noises when you get whipped with it. And you look absolutely amazing right now."

I had no concept whatsoever of time anymore, but finally I saw his gorgeous eyes looking at me again.

"Did you say all those things just to get a reaction out of me?" he asked, and there was no accusation in his question.

I struggled to make my voice work again. My mind was so disconnected that it was hard to find the words.

"Yeah..." I finally got out and smiled weakly.

My hands began to come untied from the ropes, but I remained in the same position, unable to even move. When my feet were also free of the restraints, I felt his hands on my shoulders and he gently straightened me until I stood wobbling in front of him. Unable to stop myself, I fell helplessly towards him and he caught me, wrapping his arms around me. Without a word, he grabbed around my back and under my knees and lifted me up. I draped my arms around his neck and he carried me into the bedroom, where he gently eased me onto the bed.

"Wait here," he said and disappeared back into the kitchen.

"Can't move anyways," I mumbled, barely aware of what I was saying.

When he returned, he had ice cubes in a towel and he tucked me under the covers on my stomach and lay down close to me, the towel against my ass. Slowly he caressed my cheek and shook his head.

"You're insane, you know that?" he murmured.

"You're the one who's insane," I replied, feeling my trance slowly begin to fade. "I was just trying to get you to snap out of it."

He looked down into the pillow and almost looked embarrassed, which was a strange sight.

"I... thought it was best for you."

"Well, it's not, you idiot."

"No, you made me realize that, pretty brutally too. So... I'm sorry."

With some difficulty, I got my hand out from under the covers and took a gentle hold of his neck. He was finally back, there was no doubt about it anymore. But it wasn't just me he needed to explain his actions to.

"Think you need to explain a few things to Simon," I said quietly.

"What? Did he try to force you to something?" Ash exclaimed in horror, staring at me.

"No, no, he saw right through you, he only offered a session for me to relax. Nothing more. I said no. But he explained that... you don't have to have sex during sessions."

I felt myself start to blush and cursed myself. Simon had acted perfectly correctly; it was only me who had made a fool of myself. Ash looked relieved.

"You scared the shit out of me," he huffed. " Well thought so, Simon is a smart guy. And he's right about the sessions. But if you... when you... when I'm in... it's ok if you..."

I put my index finger over his mouth, and he fell silent.

"Stop talking like that, ok?" I said firmly. "Nothing's for sure yet."

"But I'm just saying that Simon is the only one I... can imagine... touching you."

"I said stop."

Damn it, he couldn't let go of the idea of us being separated again. But something Simon had said popped into my head.

"Simon said that if we're gonna do something, we're gonna do it together," I said, looking at him seriously.

Ash looked at me in surprise, as if I had said something completely beyond belief. He frowned and seemed to think.

"Did he really say that?" he finally said.

I nodded and tried to turn on my side to get closer to him, but the pain that had been completely gone was now back and I cursed and grimaced. Ash grinned and his gaze instantly turned diabolical.

"I'll behave, but damn, I so wanna slap your ass right now," he purred, caressing the ice-filled towel over my skin.

"You'll have to talk to Simon," I said, trying to ignore his sudden return to sadistic mode.

"Mhm... but not now," he murmured and suddenly I felt him take my hand from under the covers and guide it to his crotch.

He was so hard that a shiver ran through my body, and I involuntarily drew in a breath. The heat of the look he gave me went straight down to my groin and he gave me a wicked smirk as his other hand wandered down my hip. After the treatment I had just been given, I would barely be able to hold on for more than a few minutes, but I didn't care right now. I struggled to undo the buttons to his jeans and moaned quietly as his gorgeous cock was released and I could close my hand around it.

Ash drew in a hacking breath as I began to stroke him, gripping my neck tightly as he let his own movements around my erection quicken. The pleasure was almost painful, I had been craving him so fucking much. His touch. The closeness. His whole being. He pushed me closer to him and kissed me intensely, panting into my mouth as I jacked him off harder.

"God, I've missed you..." he breathed, digging his fingers into the hair on my neck.

"I'm yours, whether you fucking like it or not, you got that?" I whimpered, biting his lower lip as the orgasm was building so fast it made me breathless.

It was like the time we had spent apart had put us on exactly the same wavelength. As I felt his cock begin to swell so wondrously in my hand, my own orgasm rushed to the surface, and we came simultaneously. I buried my face in his neck and moaned loudly as my release tore through me and I felt his cum ooze out over my hand.

"Ooh... f-fuuuck Jamie, you're m-mine..." Ash groaned hoarsely, his entire body trembling as he frantically pressed himself closer to me.

We just stayed there for a long while, just holding each other, while the towel of ice melted and made the sheet wet underneath us. It was like a bubble had formed around us, where nothing came in, no problems and no worries. Inside there was just us and nothing else. But in the end, we still had to burst it and it was Ash who did it.

"I have to call Nathan."