Even if Ash left me alone all afternoon, I still had trouble finding the right headspace for work. I simply couldn't let go of what had happened this morning and how it felt. It had been humiliating and exhilarating at the same time and I couldn't not for the life of me understand why I liked it so much.

It was a special kind of feeling, letting a person have that total power over me, making me do things I would have never done otherwise. I knew that Ash was totally aware of my emotions, my boundaries all the time but still challenged them. It was like he knew beforehand that I would like the clamps, but that I wouldn't even think of them on my own. I thought he had been joking when he had told me that he believed a tiny masochist lived inside me. But he was right. I couldn't get around that.

But no matter how much I had actually enjoyed the things he'd done to me this morning, I was still nervous about the afternoon and night. Going to the sex shop was one thing, that would just be fun, but the club made me anxious. I had been set on spending the night at home since we had been going out so much lately, but Ash probably wanted to show me that there were more clubs than Cupid's Den around town. As long as I didn't have to dance, I would be ok with it.

When I arrived down at the lobby after work, Ash was already there waiting for me. He was practically glowing with anticipation and asked me at once if I had gotten enough rest.

"It depends," I said. "If you make me dance at the club, I'm not rested enough."

His smile was wide, and he shook his head as he pulled me out into the street towards the shop.

"I promise you that you won't have to dance," he assured me, and I sighed in relief.

It felt good that I had already had my first impression of the shop before Ash took me there. He would have probably laughed his ass off if he had seen me that first time when I was there asking for cat ears, but now I was prepared. The rows of stuff didn't baffle me anymore. Ash on the other hand looked like a child on Christmas Day and I couldn't take my eyes off him, he looked so adorable.

"How much can we spend?" he asked and looked longingly at the shelves.

I hadn't spent much money the last year. There wasn't much that really interested me other than computer games, so the money I didn't spend just piled up. Now I wanted to burn a hole in that pile.

"As much as it takes for you to buy what you want to buy," I smiled at him and was locked in a tight embrace in the next second.

"You're fucking insane," he cheered and pressed me even harder to himself, so I was barely able to breathe. But I'll give you an assignment. You must pick something out too. And not just something that you think I might want; it has to be something you want. Ok?"

He let me go and eyed me like he wanted to ensure that I got the assignment. Was there anything I wanted? I had no idea. But I nodded and he started to browse the aisles. I followed him close by, curious to what he would want to buy. The first thing he went up to was the section for cuffs and other stuff you used to tie someone down with. He picked up a contraption that made no sense to me. It had four cuffs instead of two, with broad leather straps linked together to a ring in the middle. The name was even more confusing. Heavy Duty Hogtie Kit. Ash saw my puzzled face and grinned.

"You have ankles too, pet," he said smoothly. "This thing can get you into some very nice positions."

When the mental picture cleared in my head I blushed violently. Why was I even surprised? What did I think? That he would buy some fake, pink whip and be done with it? I cursed my own naivety. Did I really want to know beforehand what he would buy?

"I'm... gonna browse by myself a bit," I mumbled and started down another aisle.

I had to force away all the fantasies popping up in my head on what things Ash would buy and started to focus on what I would want. There was only one thing in my mind and that was the riding crop, but I already had one as I had nicked it from my sister. But there should be more variations of whips here, so I started to search the store. There were more. Many, many more. I ogled the wall where the different kind of hitting tools was on display. Some were small and stiff, others had soft suede ribbons and there were even actual canes.

My gaze landed on a wide leather paddle. Carefully I took it down and tried hitting it in the palm of my hand. The sensation made the hairs on my arms stand on end and I looked around in a panic. It was like everyone in the shop were watching me, even if there hardly were any customers there beside me and Ash. I hid the paddle behind my back and quickly walked away.

When I got to a stand with blindfolds my imagination went off in my brain again. How would it be not to see what he was doing to me? Would I like it? A part of me would probably be scared shitless, but at the same time I wanted to challenge myself. So, I chose the blindfold with the least amount of frizzle and headed towards Ash again. When I saw him, he was loaded with stuff and was heading for the checkout. Blood drained from my head as he placed it all on the counter. I didn't know what half of it was even for.

"Did you find anything?" he said enthusiastically.

"I did my best," I smiled nervously and placed the paddle and the blindfold on top of his virtual mountain of things.

He picked up the paddle and his eyes darkened when he looked at me.

"You're aware that the palm of your hand doesn't do this justice, right?"

I was not aware of that.

"Sure," I lied and tried to look confident, as I swallowed discretely.

Oh, shit.

Quickly I held my card out to the cashier so that I wouldn't just go back on all of it and run, and we got out into the streets with two full bags. Ash glanced at his phone with a ponderous look on his face. But when I asked him if we were late somewhere he just shook his head.

"Nope, but I wanna unload some stuff back at your place before heading out again. Maybe you think I'm just an evil fucker, I actually don't want to wear you out. I wanna come home with you tonight and just take it easy for a while. After the club, that is."

"We can take a cab?" I suggested and he lit up.

"You're not just a cute face, you're smart too," he smiled.

When we got home Ash commandeered me into the shower, so I would be out of the way of him unpacking the bags. I protested at first, but when he threatened to cuff me to the pipes in the bathroom, I realized that he really wanted to unpack by himself. So, despite my curiosity I got into the shower. As I stepped out again, Ash was already in the bathroom waiting for his turn, impatiently handing me a towel. In his arms were a bunch of clothes that he seemed keen on not letting me see. As soon as I had dried myself, he shoo-ed me out.

"Just dress in something clean, you don't need anything fancy, I'm just gonna... freshen up," he said and shut the door in my face.

"You're too vain!" I teased through the door, but I just heard him laugh and start the water again.

I relaxed somewhat at his words. Even if he wanted to look good all the time, apparently, I didn't have to dress up. That meant that we were not going anywhere lavish and that made me feel more at ease.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and paced around the apartment to pass the time. Where had he put all the stuff he bought? The bags had been full, so the stuff had to be somewhere, right? I walked over to the bedroom and bent down in front of the bed and looked under it, the most obvious place to put them. But the only thing that met my eyes were the usual dust mites. And nothing in the closet either, not that anything could fit there anyway. How the hell did he manage to hide stuff in my own place?

After a while I got bored of searching and sat down to play some video games instead, to distract myself. I had been out more the last couple of weeks than I had been in years, but still it made me nervous. And it didn't help that Ash didn't want to tell me anything. When he finally got out of the bathroom my breath hitched. He wore his sharply tailored black suit, his hair expertly ruffled, and his eyes had that subtle hint of black. His whole being oozed sex. He could have commanded a whole room of people down on their knees, just by his gaze alone. And here I was, in jeans?

"Either I'm gonna be under-dressed, or you're gonna be over-dressed," I said and tried to look unphased by his appearance.

"You're not wearing your collar."

I blinked. He closed the distance between us in three fast strides and forced me to my feet with a hard grip on my jaw. My heart jumped and he scrutinized me with dark eyes. Damn, I had left it in the bathroom.

"I..."

But he just put a finger over my mouth and held up the collar in front me. Then he secured it around my neck again and slowly shook his head.

"I should really put you in your place right now, to teach you a lesson," he mused. "But we're out of time, so it'll have to wait. But don't think for a second you're getting away with it, no more free passes for you."

"I'm sorry, I truly just forgot it," I said in a vain attempt at smoothing it over.

"Next time you won't forget, believe me," he smiled. "Come on, I've called a cab."

It was when the cab stopped in front of a nondescript building in the finance district of the city that the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Last time Ash didn't care about what I was wearing was when he wanted to dress me up himself, just before Florian's BDSM-party. He had been secretive then and was just as secretive now. I looked up at the building and saw a discreet sign mounted above a steel door.

Oubliette. I knew that word. A nicer word for dungeon.

Both my nervousness and excitement peaked in me, and I grabbed Ash by his cuff.

"Ash? Will this be anything like it was at Florian's..."

He gave me a surprised look and a brilliant smile grazed his lips.

"It'll be way better than that," he said softly. "Because you know yourself so much more now. Don't worry, just enjoy it."

So, this was a real BDSM club. Jesus, was I doing this?