Neema sat on the bed she had shared with Khan for such a small amount of time. Her body was curled in the mattress as she lay above the sheets. Her pert little nose sniffed at the sheets as she inhaled a gulp full of Khan's scent that lingered on the bed. The tangy smell of his sweat and minty shower gel soothed Neema's errant thoughts until she could really think about all that he had said.

She hadn't meant to come to this room but his scent had brought her comfort and since she couldn't clear her mind around him, his room was the next best thing.

Rolling about in the sheets she got comfortable as she contemplated all her possible options. She could still leave Khan if she had a wish to. He had slept with another woman with the intention of being intimate. That in itself broke all the trust she had began to place in him. If she was being honest though she could see herself eventually forgiving him for it. Not anytime soon, perhaps not even this year but she could see it happening.

They would have a lot to work on if she decided to stay but at least he didn't actually have sex with her. That would have been a step too far for Neema. Even now when she knew he had only shared a bed with Leslie, she found it hard to let go of her anger and hurt. She had to thank the gods above for sparing her the heartache of being pregnant for a cheating male, there would be no coming back from that. Even though she did not love him there was something in her heart that swelled for him, there was a longing for that emotion. Whether she stayed or left her heart would always have a part missing as the bond longed for it's mate.

The door abruptly swung open causing Neema to jump in fright. The bulky shoulders of Khan were the first thing she saw. His left shoulder laden with blood. She hoped it wasn't his. His body came barrelling into the room, his feet stumbling as he staggered into the room. His shoulders dropped low as he made his way over to the bed. As he reached the mattress his body collapsed on the bed as his eyes shut close and his breathing began to shallow out.

Neema prodded at his chest as Khan rested his body for a minute. Questions were flitting through her mind and almost bursting from her mouth but she held them back. She wanted to give him his five minutes of rest before she started her inquisition.

Analysing his body, she noted that he was not badly wounded. The infliction on his shoulder was the only wound he had which meant he had collapsed from exhaustion and nothing else. The blood was a tad sticky but had began to darken and clump along his skin leaving a large patch of blood on his shirt. The wound had already begun re-knitting itself but the flesh wound did not look big enough to leave that much blood on him. The only other option was that it was not his.

"Khan, are you okay?" she whispered, the genuine care in her her voice had one of his eyes prying open as he set his hazel state her. He grunted in her direction before he closed his eye again and twisted his head more towards her body. The top of his head now resting by her knee as she sat by his side.

Moving from her sitting position Neema lay down beside him, her body slightly higher then his on the bed so his head was cradled by her chest. Her nimble fingers stroking at his sweaty nape, the hair on his neck sticking to his neck in a mass of wet curls. His state was completely unkempt. She had never seen him so beaten down and tired, even after she had been through him. She did not like to see him like this.

His wound was paltry which meant his reason for looking so withered had to do with something else. Neema considered on whether she should pry the information from his cold lips or just lay alongside him and wait. She chose to lay beside him, hoping he would eventually confide in her before it was time to eat. This would probably be the last time they lay so intimately with each other and it hurt her heart to think on it.

"Ryan hates me, but that's okay I have you. Don't I?" the words tumbled from his mouth in a lazy lilt. His eyes remained closed as he placed his arms around her waist and nuzzled into her chest. He was so tired from the weeks events he felt as if he could just sleep the rest of the week away.

Pulling her body even closer to his he drifted off to sleep with the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with in his arms. He didn't expect an answer from her especially not a confirmation. Her being here for him now when he needed her the most was what counted to him. Regardless if she stayed with him or not. He of course hoped she agreed to stay his but without her acceptance he would not force her to stay. It would not be that way. Not this time.

When Neema woke up Khan's head was still nuzzled on her chest, his dark curls splayed across his face. The room was coloured orange from the early morning light. The sun peaking through the curtains gave his skin a godlike glow. Her fingers trailed through his soft hair pulling the strands away from his face revealing the strong features she both moved and hated.

"Neema are you okay? You didn't come to dinner last night so I just wanted to make sure," came a soft voice through the wood of the door, the melodic voice accompanied by a short tapping sound of her fist meeting the door.

"Yes I'm fine, Lara. I'll be down for breakfast in a little bit," croaked Neema as she sat up in the bed, dislodging Khan's head from its resting place against her skin.

They had slept for over 12 hours without disturbance and Khan was still dead to the world. She didn't want to jostle him awake though, he barely slept for more than six hours a night if he was lucky. The extra hours would do him well especially as today was the day of his ceremony.

Climbing off the mattress, she made her way to the door and slithered it open. Her sister stood leaning towards the door, her hair combed back into a long plait and her body clad in a pale blue knee length dress. The dress hugged around her chest and torso and flared out in soft ripples around her waist.

The outfit matched her sisters always sunny disposition, the soft blue accentuating her gentle and soothing nature. The two were so different, but typically got along so well.

"I'm going to take the kids down to breakfast with me, Jana keeps asking for her mama so you shouldn't take too long," she whispered as she fiddled with the plait that dangled across her chest and down to her waist. Her sister looked a bit out of her comfort zone when she mentioned Jana calling her mama, as if she wasn't quite happy with the mothering bond the two of them formed.

"She remembers you Lara, she wouldn't be comfortable so quickly if she didn't," reassured Neema. The change in roles would of course come as a shock to Lara, in the year she had been gone Neema had become the only mother Jana could remember. Even though Lara was present for nearly two years of Jana's life and had been the mother figure to both children back then, Neema had taken over that role with such alacrity that anybody before her was a distant memory.

"I know she does," Lara mumbled as she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth,

"but she calls you mamma, It's not right, you're not her mother."

Neema hated that Lara seemed to be accusing her of something she had no control of, Jana needed a mother and Neema was all she had and knew. It was bound to happen, and Neema wouldn't be blamed or questioned about it.

"It is what it is Lara, Ferron's children call you mother and that's fine with everyone so why can't Jana do the same," Neema leaned heavily on the door as she tried to remain calm. "I still talk to her about mum and dad but she needs a mother and I can give her that" Her shoulders rose as she shrugged in a dismissive manner "I won't feel bad for it Lara, I wont."

Neema had done the best she could in the circumstances she was left in, she would not feel guilty for providing Jana with the love of the mother in the absence of theirs, she needed a mother and so did Caillum. Even if he didn't call her mother, it was the role she provided them with. She was more than a big sister to them and they were more than just her little siblings.

"I've got to get ready now, send them my love okay," whispered Neema as she looked her sister over one last time before she nodding her head in dismissal and closing the door.

Peaking over the bed she made sure Khan hadn't ben awoken by the noise before she headed over to the bathroom. She stripped out of her clothes and submerged her body in the warm rays of the water jetting from the shower head. A bath would have been better but time was not on her side.

Tugging her hair from her plait she submerged her head under the shower head and began shampooing her hair. When the kids were around she hardly ever had enough time to give it a good wash and condition. The joys of taking care of two young children. She also wouldn't wash it at night because she hated to go to sleep with a damp head, her curly hair took forever to dry so she managed to wash her hair once a week. It was a huge step up from before, so she couldn't really complain.

Ringing her hair dry, she flung a silk dressing gown over her body and headed back inside the bedroom. When she entered Khan was sitting at the edge of the bed, his top discarded somewhere in the room. His legs partially covered by a thin pair of shorts that left little to the imagination.

Upon seeing her, he got up and meandered in her direction his face set in determination. Gripping her around the waist he propelled her body off the ground and thrust her body alongside his. Her dressing gown falling open so her damp skin met with his hard muscles.

Without giving her much time to protest he tilted his face down towards hers and kissed her almost senseless. His slightly cracked lips enticing hers to move against his until they were both breathless and heavily aroused.

His heavy and hard arousal was enough to rid her of the desire thrumming though her body. Neema bit down on his lip until she drew blood and he was forced to yank his head away from hers. His thumb swiping against his lip as he continued to hold her mid air with his free arm.

"Put me down, Khan," she growled out as her hands thumped against his sturdy chest. Her hits were softer than usual but made him very much aware that she was not pleased.

"Am I not allowed to kiss my mate now?" Khan hefted out as he reluctantly placed her back down on the ground. Taking a couple of steps back in good measure for what he knew was going to be a long, long argument.

"No, everything I said remains the same, just cos I shared your bed last night doesn't change the choice I made," her hands were thrown on her hips as she demanded he listen to her words. When she caught Khan rolling his eyes at her she attacked him and his blasé attitude.

Her hands flew in the air as she tutted her teeth, "You're just not worth this stress," her back turned to him as she charged over towards the door of adjoining room ready. Khan just did not know when to be apologetic or when to grovel. It was tiring having to give him lecture after lecture.

She twisted back to face him with a sharp glare, "And I'm not your flipping MATE," she screamed before she continued marching her way through the door and into her room with Khan quick on her heel.

He caught her arm just as she was about to slam the door in his face. His shoulder barging the door open wider as he tightened his hold on her wrist.

"Now you look here Neema," his finger waggled in her face as he towered over her in a threatening manner.

"No you listen here, I'm not going to be pulled about like some idiot woman on a string," she pointed back at him. Her slender finger poking into his chest with abject annoyance.

"You messed up whether you slept with that woman or not," his mouth opened to rebuke her statement but she shut him up before he could even get a sentence out.

"How would you like it if I don't know, slept in the same bed as some other male with the intention of having sex," she questioned as she tugged her arm free from his hold, "Oh I know you're sorry and all that blah blah blah, but you would kill me if I did that so why should I even think about forgiving you?" Her hands were back on her waist and she was shooting daggers from her eyes as she challenged him to give her one valid reason. At least one.

She shot him another filthy glare as he tried to argue back with her, "You withheld information from me Khan, there was no trust! You lied!"

His eyelid and jaw twitched simultaneously as he tried to calm the anger he felt slowly mounting him.

He snapped, "You talk about trust but you didn't trust me enough to tell me about my own pup, so do not come at me with your double standards," his head shook as he tried to refrain himself, knowing he was skirting a very fine line with the way he was talking to her, "I wont stand for it."

A sharp laugh tumbled from her mouth a she stared at him incredulously, her head lolling back and forth with each bout. "of course I didn't trust you and I had every right not to," Khan was reaching, trying to blame her where she felt none could be placed. She had dealt with the affects of his choices and created her own world around his warped rules.

"You have never given me a reason to trust you, five seconds into our mating and you were trying to kill me. How does that inspire trust?" her arms folded over her arms as she implored him to explain.

"Neema I don't have the answers for you," he heaved out, shoulders slumping in defeat, "I get that I ruined any trust you had in me, but I'm trying here. Shouldn't that count for something," his eyes were pleading with her to forgive him.

Her body backed him up into the wall as she growled back at him, "Well I was trying too Khan, did that matter to you when you were creeping on me with your potential mate, how many of them have there even been?"

Neema was so much smaller than him but when she was angry Khan found a little slither of fear entering him. She was just so unpredictable when provoked.

"You didn't care, so. Why. Should. I?" she questioned, her arms pushing his chest firmly into the wall. Nails biting, tearing, ripping. Blood dripping and dripping.

"Because I'm begging you Neema, please I'm trying and I will keep trying to do better!" he pushed away from the wall and started pacing inside the room, his feet stomping on the ground as he moved erratically. "I don't want to be without you, damn it Neema you drive me crazy but I love the way you challenge me. No one else would dare to, but you do it and always win."

He dropped down to his knees and shuffled towards her, his needy arms reaching out for her reluctant form, "You have changed me from the man I was, how could I not need and want you. Please Neema I'm hopeless without you," he grovelled at her feet, "Please can we forget this and start fresh. I didn't have sex with her. I never wanted her, just you," he moaned out as he buried his head along her stomach.

His hand wrapping around her waist as he clung to her body. The rapid beating of her heart and another little life tapping away in his ears. There was no room for argument or adjustment, "No," her mind was made up and she wouldn't be changing it.

Khan abruptly pulled his face away from her body as her words rung in his ears, he had messed up so terribly that he would be without his only chance at love and redemption. His only chance at a family all because of his stupidity and egoistical ways. Rising to his feet, his demeanour changed to one of defeat as he made his way to the door, a soul crushed expression plastered on his miserable face. He would never give up on having Neema as his mate but he would respect her choice, it was the least he could do after all the violence he had subjected her to.

"I wont forget the pain your betrayal caused, I will remember it just like I will remember how much you've hurt me," each word was like a knife to his already dying body, the cut of her words the ending blade to his misery, "and I won't forgive you just because you asked for it, you are not entitled to my forgiveness," she would not give Khan what he was not deserving of, he did not deserve her forgiveness, not yet.

"You need to work for my forgiveness just like you need to earn my trust," Khan would have to make up for everything he had done to her and not through grovelling or gifts, she needed to see he was a changed man. A better man and that would take time. "Until then I am only the mother of your child, you need to prove your worth because I'm not doing this anymore."

Khan's body stood frozen in it's spot, he couldn't move his body no matter how hard he tried. Emotions were not something he was often exposed to but at those words that left Neema's lips he felt as if his soul had been reawakened. As if his world had stopped spinning and had been given a new course. A new more important meaning.

She hadn't given him a yes but she hadn't told him no, she wasn't planning of leaving him, not yet. He was getting another chance to prove his worth. He'd had so many of those but this time he would make her see. He would do it because he couldn't loose her.

Grabbing her body to his face he nestled his face into her stomach, her skin dampening from his tears. She would let him be a part of this family, even if he was a by stander for now, he had hope that he would become a true member. He would show her that he was worth this, this grief, and heartache she had been through. He was worth it and he would be worthy of her. he needed to be because he couldn't loose the opportunity of feeling Neema's love.

He knew she didn't love him now and probably wouldn't for a while but she would. He had faith that she would.