"I want my Mom. Mom. Mom."

"You're not my Mom."

"Xin'er, it's me. I'm your mother. I'm here."

"You're not my Mom. I want my Mom. Mom. Mom, I'm scared."

I woke up in dazed. My body felt weak and I'm.. hungry. My stomach grumbled.

So.. I really got sick just like how I predicted. Ahg! It wasn't the best feeling.

When Jin'er noticed my tiny movement, she dashed to my side. Relief was written on her face nevertheless, she's still asking nonstop about my condition: where do I feel unwell, do I need this or that. She was really a handful.

Jin'er passed me the porridge. Still feeling weak from fever, I ate slowly.

Minutes later, Bai Meili came. Her motherly actions overwhelmed me.

"Jin'er, why did you put chicken in here? What's kind of servant are you? You don't even know how to serve your master. Xin'er don't like chicken. She hates them."

Jin'er kneeled down and quickly asked for forgiveness. Seeing Jin'er on her knees, banging her head on the floor as she pleaded for her life, it reminded me of unfortunate things. Like how this beautiful woman in her thirties can be so vicious and unmerciful. That in the smallest reason, she can order someone to die in just a second.

My hand in the spoon clenched, my cracked lips opened. "I like chicken."

"W-what?"

Annoyed, "I said I like chicken. There's nothing wrong with my porridge."

My eyes on my personal maid. "Jin'er, go back. You're dismissed."

Jin'er hastily left my room, her head still buried on her chest. The servants in the manor were all terrified at Bai Meili.

"But.. but dear, you don't like eating them. Remember Lu'er? When you were six, that little chicken was your pet. That's why you don't want to eat chicken. You said you don't want to eat Lu'er's family. Or else, you'd cry. Even until now, your father and I, can't even eat chicken infront of you. We're afraid of seeing your tears."

I put my spoon down, "Mûqīn, that was years ago. I was just a kid that time. Through the years, some things will eventually change. Habits, likes, dislikes, even attitude. That's human nature."

My voice in a threatening tone, "Next time, don't carelessly guess the things I like or hate. Stop spoiling my meal."

"I.. I'm just.." Panicking, Bai Meili reached for my hand.

"I want to rest. I'd appreciate it if you won't disturb me in the coming days."

Stunned, "But I'm worried. I also want to take care of you."

I retracted my hand from her hold, "I don't need you here. Go back."

"Xin'er.. I.."

I ignored Bai Meili's hurt expression. She has nothing to do with me. I'm not really her daughter. I can't be her daughter.

Embarrassed, Bai Meili reluctantly left before wishing me to be in good health. My head throbbed.

Without the guest, Lu Kai stepped forward. As his routine, he started reporting the events of the palace in these past two days I was sick and out of myself.

I'm afraid. I miss something while I'm sick. I can't allow that.

"The crown prince and the other princes is taking this chance to make things more hard for the fourth prince. They're blaming him for making the lady sick."

I sipped my tea.

"The fourth prince's situation is not good. The seventh princess complained to the emperor that she was lonely and can't call her friend because the lady is was sick. After discovering that it was the fourth prince who made you sick, the emperor became more unhappy about him. He plan to send him to Tang Empire next week."

I nodded and secretly ordered Lu Kai to go back to the palace. Jin'er helped me back to my bed, fixing my blanket in my lap.

My eyes on her forehead. It has a red bump on it. Then, I noticed that Jin'er was looking at me strangely.

"What is it?"

"My lady, I don't care about the bet of the seventh princess or the suffering of the fourth prince." She touched my hand. "I only care about you my lady."

When I smiled, Jin'er pouted more.

"I don't like you being sick. Because every time the lady get sick, you change into a different person."

My smile froze. "Different person?"

"When you get sick, you always ask for the madam but when the madam comes, you'll roar at us that she's not your mother. This slave is confuse, my lady."

"I know you're still blaming the madam of Mingle's death. But my lady, she's still your biological mother. Seeing you being so cold to the madam, it also worries me. It's been a year since that happen, we have to move on."

Jin'er was a kind and forgiving person. I gripped her hand tightly.

"You treat us, Mingle and I as your sisters. What happened to her is not your fault. You didn't know about the Red District. And when you want to try to retrieve her, it was too late."

I bit my lips. Closing my eyes for a moment, I uttered. "She hanged herself. Jin'er, she must've been so scared. I didn't protect her well. It's all my fault."

Mingle with Jin'er were my personal maids. But then, Mingle and her mother were send to the Red District as their punishment for stealing a bun from the kitchen. And at that time, I don't know anything about that place. I also don't want to argue with Bai Meili. Because at that time, I wanted to please her and spoil her like Mom.

"My lady." Jin'er put me into her embrace.

But Bai Meili is not my mother. My real Mom would never hurt people. She would never see people as trash.

I feel so guilty. Tears fell down my cheeks.

In this world, if you're not the main character, your life is very fragile. The author will carelessly let you die.