《Married to the Northerner》14
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I felt my heart hammering in my chest and took a deep breath in, ready to open myself to my husband. Once I tell him about my past, there is no going back.
"Avani, I'm here for you."
He sends me a reassuring smile and the genuine look in his eyes comforts me. This is the man I will spend my life with and he should be able to accept all of myself.
"My birth father, the true king of Alasia, died in battle before my birth. The nobles hoped that the heir growing in my mother, the queen's womb, would be a male, but to their dismay, I was born.
With no other choice, my mother was forced to choose a nobleman to marry and after careful consideration, she chose my father's right-hand man, Shaffar, my stepfather. Their marriage was just so he can be the king for a temporary period until he bears a son in the womb of the queen.
I was a young child and I believe they weren't able to conceive. The stress from the loss of my father and my birth made her infertile.
Shaffar slept with many mistresses and one of them conceived his child. He never wanted the child to be born a bastard, so he married Rita, my stepmother.
My mother slowly lost control of the Kingdom as many of the guards didn't want the head of the crown to be female. Despite her being a better person, they chose my stepfather merely for his gender.
My mother and I were shunned out of their family, as they birthed my stepbrother, Rafik and his twin stepsisters, Sheila and Reela.
My mother was the only person I had, but a few months after I turned eight, a sickness took her life. I always believe that she is now happily reunited with my father.
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After that, the torture truly began. At first, it was simple things such as leaving the large room for a smaller one and helping the maids with chores.
As I grew older, my stepmother and step sisters hated me for looking like my mother. I was given rags to wear and was deprived of food for days on end.
I talked back and got the most brutal beatings. They flogged me and kicked my abdomen. I received punches on my face. To this day, I can still feel them."
I sobbed in the constricting pain in my chest. It felt so good to finally tell someone my story, but it was also painful having to revive these locked-up memories.
Nathaniel hugged my shaking body as he whispered nothing but kind and soothing words. He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head, and it was quite comforting.
"After that beating, abusing me was quite common. I loved the way I look, I had my mother's beautiful features and my father's tan skin. Seeing my reflection after each beating and the scars that covered my body, I hated it.
I don't remember a day where I was never hurt physically. The pain of the healing and the new hits made it seem like a never-ending cycle. After a point, I gave up on trying to stop them, knowing there won't be anyone out there worried for me. I was hoping that by accepting my fate I will be reunited with my parents.
I was serving my stepfather some soup one day when a pain in my leg from the beating caused a sudden cramp and I poured it on his fine robes. As expected, I got a severe beating, but little did I know there would be more to my punishment.
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He- he sent one of his soldiers to my bedroom when I was sleeping at night. I- I felt the covers being removed off me as a middle-aged drunk man tried to tear my nightgown off my body. He successfully did and his nasty mouth was all over my body. I screamed, pleaded, and begged for help, but he wouldn't stop nor did anyone come and help me.
I was only sixteen years of age and at this time, my stepfather was about to rape me. I held my breath hoping I would die before he would complete this horrendous task, but luck was not on my side that day.
Just as he was about to enter me, my- my stepfather came into the room and stabbed his back. He didn't take my virtue, but he died on top of my body. I felt the blood touch my bare skin and I couldn't move at all.
He tipped off the corpse to the ground and looked at me disgustingly. He didn't care that he saw me clothless or that I was his stepdaughter. I was in too much of a shock to do anything and I should be thankful that luckily he left without touching me."
My husband's body was rigid and his arms tightened around me. I tasted the salty tears that left my eyes and wiped them vigorously. I felt bile rise my throat as I thought back to that night and released myself from Nathaniel's hold, only vomited into the pail.
I heard heavy footsteps behind me, as my husband held my hair while rubbing my back. My tears and the contents from my stomach mixed as I continued heaving.
After a while, I felt exhausted, both mentally and physically, as I sat down on the dusty floor. Nathaniel carried me to my bed and laid me down. I saw him retreating back as he came back with a cup of water.
I drank the cool liquid greedily, wanting this foul taste out of my mouth. I saw him sit on the foot of the bed, crouching his body, as his muscles were tensed.
Although it was quiet, the tension was thickening. I knew it would be like this, but he promised that he will talk to me after. I was afraid he would leave once again, so I decided to go to him.
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