New York City

The morning sun penetrated through my bedroom curtains. I blinked at the invading light. A warm body stirred next to me as I got up slowly to sit on my bed. A hand crept up my back and around my torso, grazing my chest with her red fingernails. I turned to see Roxanne naked, blinking slowly at me, her body hidden halfway under the covers.

I don't know how Roxanne did it, but the girl wormed her way into my life again and into my bed. But I didn't care, if it wasn't Roxanne it was with a few other women I woke up aimlessly next to these last couple of months. It made no difference, not that I was really interested in any of them, anyway.

"Where are you going so early, lover?" Roxanne said groggily, still half asleep.

I didn't bother to answer her. I took her hand and placed it away from my chest as I got up to stand. Protected sex with a few women meant nothing to me anymore, and never got the full satisfaction I wanted. A void I couldn't fulfill since losing her. I couldn't even bring myself to say her name any longer.

I was wearing nothing but my boxers, looking out through the window as I gently pulled back the curtains. I closed my eyes, and inhaled the air deeply and exhaled it out. My mantra, five times each morning when I got up. I cracked my neck and did fifty pushups on the spot.

I walked to the bathroom and refreshed myself. My apartment loft wasn't half bad. It was spacious and open planned, with a lounge area, kitchen, a bedroom and a balcony overlooking New York City. This place costed me a pretty penny, too. Luckily, the money I was making wasn't too bad, so I could afford the rent and living expenses.

The main fights were legal too, so the parole officer wasn't on my case too much about it. It was difficult to move the remainder six months of my parole to New York, but eventually I managed to get it done.

Big Ben seemed consistent in booking fights for me, but I didn't trust him. A man like him always had something up his sleeve. I could only pay some of the money back to Big Ben, who seemed to reluctantly take it. But I didn't concern myself too much. As long as I settled my debt to him, I should be free of my contract.

I got out of the bathroom and slipped on my grey sweatpants, a vest, and hoodie with running sneakers. I grabbed a water bottle, and walked out my apartment with my earphones in hand.

Damn, I forgot about Roxanne still inside. I hoped she would leave before I got back. She was trying to play house, and I didn't like it. I left the door unlocked for her to just grab her shit and go.

I walked down the passage and ran down the stairs, not bothering to take the elevator. The exercise was good for me. I walked out into the booming street, greeting the early morning clear sky. The crisp air filled my lungs as I breathed it in.

Cars and taxis swept by, left and right on the street. No matter how early it was, New York always seemed to be awake. I loved it! The noise drowned out the memories and thoughts in my head. After a quick warm up, I jogged around the first block, which I did each morning for the past four months straight, ever since I got this apartment.

Rock music blared in my ears from the earphones as I jogged past people. I pushed myself hard, picking up speed around the second block, burning my lungs. I stopped for a while, panting, regaining my breath.

I blew out hard.

I guzzled down the cold water bottle standing near a store. I looked up and saw it was a flower shop. They displayed bright and beautiful bunch of flowers with every color you could think of. I smiled. She would have loved this place, I secretly thought.

I closed my eyes, trying to detach myself from speaking her name or thinking about her. It felt like a bruise that couldn't fully heal, no matter how hard I tried. She was a dream I struggled to attain.

White flowers caught my eye, flowers I almost gave her, but failed to do... Lilies. I swallowed hard. I needed to run, to feel the burn again. I turned around and ran, music blaring in my ears blocking all thoughts and regrets threatening to take over. I had to focus on my next fight, prepare for it... coming up tomorrow night.

***

My fists swung back and forth. Hitting the heavy punching bag swaying from left to right in front of me. I punched relentlessly, striking right and left blows against the leather sack. Sweat dripped from my neck, soaking my vest.

The boxing gym ended up being my favorite place. Training became an outlet for me, a breath of fresh air. Raf held the back of the punching bag, spurring me on to hit with all my strength. He jerked back with each blowing force of my fist. I smiled cockily.

"Doing okay there, man?... not too rough?" I asked him teasingly.

Raf grinned. "You wish!"

Raf became my mixed martial arts trainer, but more, he became a good friend, too. His dreadlocks and tattoos gave him a tough exterior with his muscular frame. His experience in the octagon helped shape me up to be a better fighter.

"That's enough hitting the crap out of this thing for now. You're more aggressive today. What's got you up in a knot?" Raf said.

"Nah, just one of those days, you know." I answered, breathing hard.

I looked around the gym. It was empty today, with a few guys training with weights, others shadow boxing and two guys sparring in the ring.

"Hey bro!" a familiar voice called out.

I turned to see Kyle making his way to me. Since coming to New York, I've been seeing Kyle regularly ever since I re-signed the contract with Big Ben. I still wasn't sure what role he played. Assigned delivery boy? Messenger? Or doing who knows what. Lately, he's been calling himself a promoter.

I gave a nod up to him, grabbed a towel from my gym bag and wiped off the sweat from my face.

"What's up, D?" he said, patting me on the back.

I gestured forward. "What does it look like... I'm preparing for tomorrow's night fight," I said as I removed my exercise gloves.

"Cool." Kyle said, biting his bottom lip. "About the fight tomorrow..."

I stopped and frowned at him. "What about the fight?"

"Big Ben... well... he sort of made arrangements." Kyle continued, chuckling nervously.

I rolled my eyes.

"What arrangements... spit it out." I asked, getting irritated.

Kyle exhaled. "The fight is rigged."

My eye twitched as I glowered at him.

"You have to lose at round 4." He said.