Vittore's POV

"Are you ready mamma?" I asked my mother as she picked up her bag and put it over her shoulders.

"Of course I am sweetheart," she said and tightened the straps. I sighed.

"Oh don't be so sad Vittore. I'll just be a few weeks then when I come back, we can have diner like always and give thanks. I believe in you. I know you'll manage to take out that mafia you need to," my mother said and smiled, walking over and holding my ace in my hands.

"I know you don't want to go but you-"

"I have to I know Vittore. It's ok. I don't mind. You're just trying to protect me so I thank you," my mother whispered, her thumbs brushing my cheeks as she sighed.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart. I really am," my mother said, her eyes watering slightly but her smile was as blinding as ever. "I'm sorry I couldn't keep you from your father but-"

"You did save me from him mamma," I responded, pulling one of her hands from my cheek and kissing it. "You did. More than you know."

I hugged her then, my grip tightening with each second that passed.

"Ti amo mamma," I whispered and her hold tightened.

"Ti amo anch'io figlio mio," she said back to me and I pulled back then. "Remember what you promised me?"

"Of course I do mamma," I said and she smiled.

"Good. I'll hold you to that," she teased and I looked over her shoulder at Maddox.

"Take care of her," I commanded and he nodded with a smirk.

"She'll get all the care she needs boss. Don't worry about it."

I nodded at Maddox and let my mother go with him. She waved back at me and I watched her go, a glance of her smile the last thing I saw.

It was all my fault.

It was my fault my mother was dead. It was my fault she couldn't be here to see another day. I was the one who sent her away.

I was the one who sent her to her death.

I took another gulp of the vodka bottle in my hands. It was mostly empty now, I didn't know what I was thinking when I picked it from my cabinet and came here. I looked around my mother's room. I couldn't find any comfort at the bottom of this bottle, I couldn't find comfort in anything anymore.

My mother was everything to me. She still is.

The days with my father... even thinking back to them makes my heart ache. I suffered so much under his hands, the scars hidden under my tattoos said as much. I'd stopped hiding them but now, they tingled with recognition. All the pain was coming back, slowly but doing so much damage.

I remember when my mother would risk coming into my room to hold me and tell me everything was fine. Hold me and tell me she was so proud of me for being so strong.

I just wanted her to come back and hold me like she used to.

I wanted my mother back but I couldn't have her.

It was all my fault.

I took another sip of vodka, the pain in my throat nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I looked at my mother's nightstand where the picture she'd taken of me and Dalia was framed. She'd been so happy when she'd taken it. I remember her smile and her excitement.

I wanted her back. I needed her back.

But she was taken from this world.

It was all my fault.

I brought the vodka bottle back to my lips and took and extra long drink this time. I cared not for my pounding in my head nor the weakness in muscles. I just wanted all this pain to go away. I just wanted to be ok again. I just wanted my mother back with me.

Was that so much to ask?

After everything I'd been through, did God not think I had enough? Did the universe know I just wanted peace this once? I wasn't one who was raised believing in anything like God or Satan or anything of the sort but I wondered, if there were these higher beings that watched over us, why didn't they ever offer their help?

Why didn't they once try to show pity? It was completely fucked up if you asked me.

I didn't want to be holding on to the little things my mother left behind. I didn't want the last image of her to be her dead body. Her pale skin, her chapped blue lips and those dark eyes that resembled my own, staring lifeless at the sky. Staring lifelessly at me.

It was all my fault.

The vodka bottle was getting done quicker than I would like. I would stand up to get more but the light coloured walls of my mother's room blurred and twirled. My body was completely useless. I couldn't even move. I didn't care if death came for me now. I'd embrace it. Just to get to see my mother again but thinking like this, it made me feel guilty for one reason and one reason only.

Dalia.

"Love doesn't make you weak Vittore. It gives you purpose ok? Something to help you to keep your goals straight and for your soul to know it isn't alone. You have to promise me that you won't shut her out. Promise me Vittore. Please."

I scoffed.

I didn't want to disobey my mother's wishes, I didn't want to go against my promise but right now, it was the furthest thing from my mind.

Right now, I was trying to fill the void in my heart with vodka.

Right now, I was holding back every emotion that wanted to rise just to keep myself from falling apart.

"Vittore?"

I didn't turn at the soft voice. I knew who it was.

"How did you find me?" I asked instead, my words slurred as I took another gulp of vodka.

"It wasn't easy trust me but... you shouldn't be alone," the voice whispered, much closer than it was before.

My grip tightened on the bottle in my hands and small calloused ones surrounded it. I allowed Dalia to pry the bottle from my fingers. I allowed her to put it out of my sight. I allowed her to sit on the bed with me. I allowed her to pull my head to her chest and I allowed her to run her fingers in my hair.

"Its all my fault," I whispered after a while, my words less slurred but the meaning of my words centering themselves in my brain.

It was all my fault.

"No Vittore. It isn't. It's the Don of the Ravens' fault. You didn't do anything," Dalia whispered, her own voice sounding broken.

I scoffed. "I shouldn't have been chasing him in the first place. I shouldn't have let my mother go."

I wanted to kill that Don. I really did but my need for revenge was clouded by the amount of self loathe that consumed me.

"You were trying to protect her and..." Dalia trailed off, taking a shaky breath. "And I'm sure she understood. I'm sure she was proud of you."

"I miss her," I confessed, my voice breaking as a lump rose in my throat. "I miss her so much."

I couldn't hold it in anymore I let my tears fall.

I sniffled as my broad shoulders shook. Hearing this, Dalia held me closer to her. She shielded me from the cruel world. She protected me.

She held me and I would forever be eternally grateful.

The effects of the alcohol I had taken ebbed away and I sobbed. I sobbed for my mother, I sobbed for what she'd been through and I sobbed for so many things. Everything I held back came crashing down like a dam.

I heard another sniffle, one that wasn't mine and soon, Dalia's chest shook with the sound of her own sobs. I pulled back slightly to see her trying to shield herself as tears streamed down her cheeks and she heaved for breath.

I pulled her closer because that's all I could do.

That's all we could do.

Just hold each other and cry.

"The world doesn't deserve you Vittore. It really doesn't," Dalia said, her voice cracking and breaking but she still got the words out.

"Sleep now," she cooed with a sniffle. "I know it won't help and that you may see more nightmares there than here but you need to sleep ok amore. Sleep."

I didn't need more encouragement as my cries slowly died down and my eyes closed.

Hey people. I feel like you all need to breathe. Take a breath for me yeah? I know I need a whole lot of time to recover before I add anything more. I couldn't update more than this despite how much I wanted to.

Dalia and Vittore.

What can I say? I love the two, so much. I do.

I loved Faye. More than you could know. It hurts. I know it does. She wasn't planned for as funny as it is.

After the first baking session, I decided we need more of her. We needed more of a mother figure.

Until we didn't have her anymore.

Rest In Peace my love.