I opened the door and everything went black, my past swallowing me with nowhere to run to. If my feet could move, they would, they would run to another state. I expected to open the door to someone, I love, not to be confronted to my biggest demon, my feet glued to the floor. I was lucky my hand reacted before my mind could think, slamming the door shut but he had put his foot down, making it impossible for me to shut it completely.

He pushed it back open, inviting himself in with force and violence, nothing new, but it still took me by surprise. He pushed me back before shutting the door behind him. My mind going into survival mode, ungluing my feet from the floor. I took a step back, trying to run away from him but he violently grabbed my arm, I whimpered in pain while trying to break away from his grasp. "Stop you're hurting me!" I yelled at him, unable to call him dad since he no longer meant that to me.

My survival mode told me to be strong and fierce and so I tried to rip my arm away from him once more, but he held on to it tightly, no matter how much pain it put me in. "You little brat!" He shook my arm while I kept resisting.

"You're not supposed to be here, I have a restraining order against you!" I yelled at him and it was the first time in my life that I was brave enough to raise my voice at him. "Let go!"

"I know but do you really think I care? You're still just as stupid as you were." He yelled back at me his fingers like barbwire around my arm, tight and painful, just like his hand harshly smacking me across the cheek. "That's for lying to the police about us!" He raised his voice, pushing my back against the kitchen counter as his nails dug into my skin. But for the first time in my life I wasn't terrified, I was fuming. "This is for running away!" He smacked me again, harder this time as little stars blurred my vision.

"Stop!" I yelled even though I was in pain, pain was not important now, getting him out of here before I couldn't move anymore was. "Let go of me! I'm serious! Don't touch me!" I yelled at the top of my lungs until it burned in my throat. I pulled my arm back, but with my back against a wall I couldn't do much but ball a fist, slamming it into the side of his face.

Drastic measures but at this point my life was depending on it... He stumbled back, not expecting me to take it this far. "You bitch!" He yelled grabbing his face. I need to get out of here now... I need to either run or fight and I don't think I can outfight him. My head started to orient itself in space, my eyes falling on the door now he was busy grabbing his face.

I tried to escape, get away from him, run, anything. I sprinted towards the front door but when my hand latched onto the doorknob I was forcefully pushed into the door, his underarm putting pressure on the back of my neck while I gasped for air. "Did you just hit me?!" He gritted through his teeth as the anger oozed from his nostrils like and angry bull. I wanted to say something but that would only provoke him. "Did you just fucking hit me?!" He yelled again, his arm pressing hard on my neck until it made me gasp for air once more. I was only so little against his tall frame and there wasn't much I could do in this position. "Did you?" He yelled into my ear making my whimper.

Does he really want me to say it out loud? "Yes! Yes I did!" I breathed against the wood before his fist slammed against the door, just inches from my face.

"I have had it with you!" He hissed before grabbing a full fist of my braid, pulling me away from the door. I fell back onto the floor, watching him approach me and everything about it screamed life-threatening danger. "I'm taking you back home!" He seethed before pretending to kick me in the stomach, but he stopped. His aim solely to scare me and make me flinch in pain.

"You can't do that!" I yelled at him while trying to crawl back on my feet, as he pretended to kick me again. I didn't flinch this time, but little did I know this wasn't pretend but the hard tip of his boot colliding with my ribs for real. It was all part of his sick game to scare me and expect the unexpected. I rolled over onto my back as my arms went around me in agony, coughing my lungs out.

"Watch me!" He raised his voice and I actually prayed him to yell more, so maybe my neighbors would hear me struggle, but then I realized not a single soul was in the building, all out celebrating thanksgiving with family. "You thought you could run away! But I found you! Mom said to let you go, that she was expecting you to do something like this after all those years. That stupid bitch defended you and had to learn the hard way." He hoovered over me, his breath the pure stank of scotch and vodka mixed together with anything else he could find.

"What did you do to her?" I coughed, still in pain, yet no love or concern audible in my voice.

"Thought her a lesson like I'm going to teach you one, once we're home." He gritted through his teeth, his anger clearly evident it the way he looked at me. He clearly hated me, he will always hate me, he never treated me any different. "This is all we get for paying the bills for you, for your entire life! You run away?" He stated as his foot collided with the side of my ribs once more, the agony in my screams not snapping him out of his frenzy, not even a little bit.

"Stop please!" I whispered as I couldn't speak anymore. I tried to get on my feet fast but the moment I did, not a flat hand but a fist flew at my face. It made me stumble back until I hit the wall with the side of my face, instantly tasting blood. It didn't take me long to feel the cut on my lip. My hands tried to cover my face, the blood coming from both my lip and nose instantly warm and wet in my palms.

"We are so sick of you!" He pulled at my hair before smashing my face against the wall one more time. I felt like I was almost going to black out, but he held me up on my feet, his hands lacing around my throat.

"Then leave me be!" I squeezed through my throat as my nails desperately dug into his skin, trying to prevent him from killing me. I tried to get his hands away from me but everything I did seemed to make them tighten around me even more. Blood was gushing out of my nose preventing me to breathe through my nose, but he just simply didn't seem to care. Something as simple as breathing became harder and harder.

"I can't do that and you know it, all these years of trying to raise you were for nothing if I do, who's going to make money? Support your mom and I? We are your responsibility! Because of you your mom quit her job, then I lost mine... We need you to help us pay the mortgage, but instead you're here wasting your time with your head in idiotic books." He gritted trough his teeth with disgust, his hands around my neck just tight enough to keep me conscious.

"Find yourself another job!" I blurted out, angry at how they have treated me the past years, now finally brave enough to say it, even though it meant one breath less to take. "Just because you sabotaged your life, doesn't mean I have to! I don't want to end up like you! It's pathetic!" I gave it my all, pushing the words out one by one, voicing my truest thoughts. I knew the moment I said it that it would provoke him but years of torture and embarrassment were now transformed into anger... And as much as the words came to me, as much did Lukas's self-defense lessons. I remembered and now I just needed to distract him and put them to practice, because Lukas wasn't here to save me, I was on my own and I needed to do something to get away.

While one of his hands held on to my throat, he used the other one to slap me in the face once more and I saw it as my chance to break free. I did what Lukas told me to do, managing to get his hands off me. I jabbed the side of his face as hard as I could, hurting my fist in the process, before kicking him in the groin. Father or not he should have never been allowed to have children.

He screamed in pain as he fell onto his knees. I knew running away wouldn't help, he would just come after me, outrunning me, so I took my phone from the counter and started dialing 911. My fingers were shaking so badly and the fact that they were covered in blood also didn't help. I only got past the 9 and the 1 until his arms grabbed me from behind, yelling loudly into my ear. "You're going to regret this! You're not my daughter anymore! You never were to me! You fucking accident! If your whore of a mother would have aborted you like I told her to, my life would have been so much easier."

"I already knew you never wanted me, otherwise you would have never did the things you did! Get off me and tell me something new!" I struggled to get out of his grasp once more. I tried to wrestle myself free, nothing working. My finger still tried to call 911 and the moment he saw, he held on to me tight. He grabbed my phone, locking it to reveal my background. Lukas. Seeing his face on the screen was the moment I felt desperate. This was the moment I needed him the most, and he wasn't here. He promised me he would never let them come near me, guess he was wrong.

"So that's you're little boyfriend! I have watched you around campus. He was there every single time! Where is he now?" He growled into my ear like a predatory animal.

"He's on his way!" I lied, but it was a good excuse to convince him to leave. "He's going to be here any minute, he went out to get food!" I rushed out in panic, but I felt his grip around me tighten until the point the pain in my already bruised ribs and shoulders became almost unbearable.

"Do you really think you can lie to me!? Huh? Stupid bitch! I see the lasagna on the table!" He jabbed his fist into my lower back making me scream in pain. "I saw him in his car this afternoon, he didn't seem too happy! Not even he could stand to be around you anymore!" He yelled, almost deafening me while he smashed my phone into the wall, shattering it completely. "He probably never even loved you! He used you to get into your pants. You're a little whore. You're just like your mother!"

He could call me dumb and unwanted anytime, but this one hurt my core and ripped my heart out for the thousands time. Lukas did love me...I have to believe he did. The thought of him also remined me of another technique he taught me. It came flashing back and I did exactly what he told me to do! I took a step forward, kicking his knee before easily freeing myself from his grasp. I turned around slamming my fist into his throat which made him gasp for air. I didn't like this violent part of me, but it was the only thing I could do to defend myself.

"You really want me to finish this once and for all, don't you!" He said while gasping for air, his face expressing only hate and pain. My eyes wandered off to a pair of scissors on the counter, which I used to open the lasagna packaging. I don't want to do this but what choice do I have! "Did you really think you're little restraining order would keep me away? How pathetic. You're coming back home."

"And live through your abuse every single day again! No! I'm done with that! I'm done with you, mom. You said it yourself! I'm not your daughter anymore! So, leave me live my life!" I said walking back to the counter, facing him so I could keep an eye on him.

"Live your life? You owe it to me you ungrateful cow!" He clenched his jaw while seeing red, his posture now back to towering over me. I should have been scared but I wasn't, not anymore. I couldn't do anything else but stand up for myself, even if it was with force.

"Are you sure you're my dad?" I hissed in anger, hoping he wasn't, so he wouldn't be my legacy. At that he stumbled towards me as I did more damage to his knee than I thought... the sight of it gave me chills, either it was that or the sensation of my fingers finding the scissors behind my back. I pulled them out pointing them at him as a warning to stay away. "Don't come any closer! This has to stop today! Please just leave me alone." I begged him, but on the inside, I felt nothing... I wasn't sad, scared, or anything else. I was just trying to survive.

"You don't have the guts!" He looked at the scissors in my hand. "Look at you! You're a pathetic little girl that needs to learn her place! You think those little scissors scare me! In your hand? I always used to knock you out with one push, it's not going to be different now..."

"The difference is that now I'm not scared to go to the police, and have you arrested for it." I yelled at him, my fingers holding on to the scissors for dear life, watching his every move.

"Oh please, the police won't do anything about it and you know it." He shrugged his shoulders at me before taking a step into my direction.

"They will eventually! And I'll never give up trying to get away from you!" I widened my eyes at him, with fear this time when he grabbed my wrist until I would let go of the scissors. Before I knew it, I was lying face down on the floor with his knee pressing me down at the back of my neck. I couldn't breathe, nor say anything.

His hand was still around my wrist as he pinned it to the floor next to my head, his knee causing most of the pain. "You can go to the police all you want, but you will never forget your parents! Look at you, you're a mess trying to look pretty but, on the inside, you're disgusting... Not worth anybody's love!" Tears were now stinging my eyes, both from receiving his hurtful words and from not being able to breathe. He let go of my wrist he relieved me in my neck but that was only temporary as he sat down on my back, my wrist underneath his knee as his hand pushed my head against the floor. I couldn't move, trapped in my own apartment. "You think you're pretty don't you with your long blonde hair... Just like your mother!" He pulled my head back by my braid. "Without your hair nobody would look at you twice Isabella! Not even your cute little boyfriend, or shall I say ex-boyfriend?" At his words I ferociously wiggled underneath him, trying to get away but if I could have moved an inch it would have been a lot.

"It's none of your business! Please leave him alone!" I squeaked painfully, the blood on my lip still giving me a bad taste. His hand let go of my wrist once more, only to yank my head back by my braid again. I instantly knew what was about to happen and I started praying he wouldn't. Please don't do this. Please. Please make it stop! I tried to resist it, to get away but I couldn't, tears now streaming down my cheeks, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hearing me beg to stop out loud.

I shuddered the moment I heard the scissors cut through my braid; the sound of thick hair being cut sending chills down my spine. "Look at that! Now your haircut matches the worthless piece of shit you are! You don't want to come back, fine! But you'll always be worried looking over your shoulder for me until you do, and every time you look in the mirror, your new look will remind you of that." He actually spit at me before throwing the scissors on the floor next to my head. His hand grabbed my now shorter hair one last time to pull my head back before smashing the side of it into the cold and hard tiles. Everything around me disappeared into a hole of blackness, with a ringing tone sucking me in deeper and deeper.

I woke up, no idea what time it was and dazed with a headache stinging my thoughts. Fear coursed through me as it made my hands shake. I was in pure panic when I found myself covered in blood and surrounded by blonde locks on the floor, no longer attached to my head. I sat up on my knees grabbing my head as it put pressure on my brain. I looked at the battlefield on the kitchen tiles, terrified at what I saw underneath me and the residues of what once was my phone on the other side of the room. I winced in pain when I started patting myself so see where I was hurt. The result, pretty much everywhere. I had bruises on my wrists that were going to be hard to hide, my ribs were killing me by the touch and my head, I needed a mirror to see what had happened to that, because something felt too odd.

I was terrified while I got up, looking around my apartment to see if he was still here. As careful as I could I tried to get up on my feet. I didn't hear any movement, I didn't see anyone else in the room as I gasped with relief, my hands starting to shake less. I carefully shuffled towards the bathroom, on my way stumbling across my destroyed laptop. Nooo! All my summaries I made for school, my paper I was working on, all of it gone... My hand on the wall had to steady myself as everything around me was making me dizzy.

"I can't do this... I don't want to see it." I whispered to myself when I got into the bathroom, afraid to turn on the light and watch myself in the mirror. "I have to see eventually." I whispered again, trying to encourage myself a little.

I turned on the light and instantly tried to cover my gasping mouth. I couldn't move, as all I could do was raise my eyebrows and stare. What? Oh no, no, no, no, no! I looked at the already darkening bruises on the side of my face, a busted lip and bloody nose. The blood that had gushed form my nostrils had left a trace over my mouth and chin all the way down my sweater, staining it badly. But what was worst was the sight of my usually lower back-length hair, that was now dangling just above my shoulders, uneven and botched, some strands longer than others. My strong posture now fell into a sob, breaking down as I ran my hands through my hair. "I don't deserve this!" I yelled, slamming my flat hands on the sink hurting myself in the process. I desperately wanted to get out of my bloody clothes. I wanted to wash it all away, I wanted the cold water to shake me awake from this nightmare, desperately hoping it was one.

Once I was able to get myself into the shower, not even the coldest water running over my face and body could tear me away from the hurt. I just stood there, watching the stream of blood swirl down the drain at my feet. I got out, feeling empty once again. The pain from the past week just too much to handle. It was painful enough as it was and now this on top... I felt the universe was trying to break me over and over, and it succeeded with distinction.

Once again I was staring at my reflection in the mirror, my hair still short and botched. I didn't know why I thought the water would make it grow or glue it back, but I hoped for it. I was make-up-less, bruised, beaten, botched but most of all broken.... That was all I could see. "He was right... I'm a worthless piece of shit... How could anyone possibly love me..." I whispered to my own reflection. His words got into my head... I let him win.

That night I went to bed, completely blank with no emotions whatsoever, no dreams or aspirations, no nothing, only painful bruises and bad memories. I woke up at midnight, in pain, my chest tight and my head pounding. I desperately needed some aspirin, something to help with the pain. I shuffled to the bathroom and found nothing but an empty box of painkillers in my cupboard.... Great... I shook my head at my incompetence to restock my medical supply on a regular, but I hadn't been here since I moved in with Lukas. I should have seen it coming that he would grab his chance to come after me as soon as I was alone.