I waited for Mia in the car... Bella's voicemail made it clear she didn't want to see me, even though I really wanted to. I missed her, I missed everything about her. The past days I tried to forget about her, I tried to give our moments together a place and move on, little did I know that was more mission impossible than the movies. I couldn't get her out of my head and every single thing in my room reminded me of her... Even this car was filled with lots of memories and I felt like I was driving a box of recollections.

I looked up at her window, my heart skipping a beat when I saw her holding the curtain to the side. I sighed wanting to see her face, wanting to see her smile but the moment she turned her head and our gazes met I cowardly looked away... She didn't want to see me and my heart couldn't take looking at a possibly angry expression on her face. All I did was sink into my seat as my hands clenched around the wheel. This is all just fucked up! Last week I told her to her face I would love her forever and now I'm too scared to look at her. I don't know how long I can take this suffering... One thing clearly hasn't changed... I still love her... I still want her to be in my life... I guess she doesn't feel the same.

The only way I was able to deal with it was shut it out and keep to myself. I couldn't talk to Mia about it because she was clearly not on my side over this... Especially after the whole fiasco with Jess... The biggest mistake of them all. Fuck why did I call her... Why her? Good thing about my phone being broken is that I can't hear from her either because I'm pretty sure she's spanning my inbox at the moment. It was so so fucking dumb. If I had the chance to turn back time, I would have handled things differently. I might have still gone to that bar, but I would have never called Jess. If bells would have showed up, I'm sure she would have dragged me out and mocked us in a room until I would listen to her. We could have worked things out by just talking... But we didn't and I will always regret the way we handled this.

"Are you happy now!" Mia barged into the car loudly. "Idiot." She even muttered under her breath. What the fuck!

"What?" I snapped at her offensively, my brows in a frown.

My sister instantly shook her head and threw in an eyeroll. She crossed her arm and squinted her eyes at me. What the fuck is her problem. "Are you happy that she's miserable Luke! Are you happy!" She is? Wait a minute, right so she's miserable, I get that, but Mia is getting mad at me! I'm miserable too and nobody seems to care!

"I don't want to talk about it Mia!" I snapped back frowning more.

"You really broke every promise you ever made to her... I hope you realize that." She pulled up her upper lip at me in anger before rolling her eyes again. I shook my head back at her before turning on the ignition and driving away. I know I fucking did... I was riled up, angry at my sister for never even asking how all of this was making me feel... Like all of it was my fault... But both of us made mistakes... Is it some kind of fucked up girl-code to stick up for each other I don't know but I hate Mia's attitude at the moment?

I turned on the music to cancel out Mia's sighs and neither of us said a word for three hours long. Happy Thanksgiving to me... I rolled my eyes at myself.

I was mentally preparing myself to explain to mom and dad why Bella wasn't coming. I didn't say anything as telling them over the phone would have ended badly on my side. But, the closer we were getting to home the more I regretted it. I didn't want to face them at all. They loved Bella, they could see how she was the light in my life and now they might lose all hope and that's not what I want to hear right know. I need them to be on my side... I need someone to understand me, now Bells is no longer here for to do that. She was always here for me...

I parked the car in the driveway, sighing deeply as I killed the engine. Mia instantly got out of the car to take her bag from the trunk. I was wearing this ridiculous white shirt and black dress pants, my most hated outfit but mom would be disappointed if I wore anything else and she was already going to be disappointed enough as it is. I took my back and followed Mia who was already by the front door.

Here we go... I rolled my eyes, anxious, terrified even to explain why there were only two of us instead of three. Mom opened the door looking polished as always, a wide smiled pasted on her face. "Mom!" Mia said as she swung her arms around our mother.

"Mia, I'm so happy to see you all!" My mom said as she hugged my sister, facing me in the process. She scanned my lonesome posture and her smile instantly turned into a questioning look, a little worry even.

"Lukas, honey, where is Isabella?" She frowned slowly letting go of Mia. She looked at me, all the way to my car and back to me again. She's not here mom. I let my head hang low to tell her she didn't come but my sister beat me to it.

"You didn't tell them!" Mia turned around with anger written all over her face. She then scoffed loudly, even making mom tilt her head at that attitude. She rolled her eyes and stormed into the house.

"Honey, come inside." Mom signed at me and I did, clenching my jaw in anger at that little scoffing match Mia decided to have. She shouldn't have butted in! she should have me just handle it the way I wanted. Dammit Mia why do you always have to be such a bitch to me. I swallowed, and evident frown on my face. "What didn't you tell us?" Mom said softly as her hand on my shoulder guided me in. "Is everything alright with Bella?" She frowned at me with concern and my heart instantly sank to the bottom of the ocean. We both aren't, alright...

I couldn't talk, the lump in my throat pounding and that got even worse as soon as we walked into the kitchen where my dad was finishing dinner. He turned around as Mia wanted to give him a hug. "Hey there beautiful!" He said surprised as she swung her arms around his neck. "Well look at that dress!" He said in awe as he twirled her around. "How on earth did you become even more beautiful since last time." My dad smiled, admiring what he and mom had created. I pulled up one brow at that sight, Mia claiming all the attention in the room, she didn't do it on purpose, it was just typically Mia.

Mom saw exactly how it made me feel even more alone that I already was and her hand went over my shoulder, squeezing me. "You look handsome too." She smiled at me, only making the lump in my throat worse. I nodded at her before walking over to dad. "There's my man!" He spoke on the same tone as he did to Mia, pulling me into a bear hug. He pushed me back a little looking at my effort at playing dress up. "You don't look comfortable Luke. Margot stop asking him to wear pants like these." He smiled at my mom before winking at me. It instantly made me smile, as he gave me a hard pat on the back.

"So, he gets to wear jeans?" I looked over at my mom when I saw what dad was wearing, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"Daniel shut up." Mon laughed playfully. "Luke, the only time I got him to wear dress pants was on our wedding day." She widened her eyes at me. "So, excuse me if I'm trying to not prepare my son." Mom laughed, swatting her hand at dad's chest.

Dad didn't even flinch, but he started to look around the room. Here we go... "Luke, where's Bella?" He frowned at me and I instantly pushed a hand over my hair as nerves coursed through my veins.

"We broke up." I just flat-out spilled both my mom and dad in pure shock.

"What? Why!" Mom gasped and I saw dad putting his hand on her shoulder to calm her down, his face in an evident frown.

I shook my head as I leaned against the counter. What did I need to say? That I caught her kissing another guy or that I reacted by kissing someone else in front of Bella just to hurt her. I didn't want my parents to think any less of her, they loved her, and I wanted to keep it that way. "I don't want to talk about it..." I sighed, looking into a void on the other side of the room.

"Honey you have to... You can talk to us." She reassured me but I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to think about all that happened. Here, now, thinking about her sitting aloud in her apartment nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Suddenly I heard a loud sigh escape from my sister's mouth. "He acted like an idiot, that's what happened." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Mia!" I snapped at her, frowning my brows as I felt the anger come to the surface. What the fuck!

"Mia he doesn't want to talk about it... Give you brother a little slack." My dad instantly intervened, putting himself between Mia and I. She has no right to butt in at this point...

"Honey, I'm so sorry I didn't work out... I really thought she was the... Well, I had never seen you so happy..." Mom shrugged her shoulders as sadness coated her voice.

"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped at her even though she didn't mean it in a hurtful way. She was just stating a fact, but that fact was hurting me more than they should.

"Then why did you act like such a dick?" Mia yelled at me while rolling her eyes once more. If she's going to keep rolling those eyes I'm going to pray they end up like that forever.

"Mia enough." Dad said sternly, as I he knew I was going to lose my patience.

"Of course I know you do Luke..." Mom tried to say softly as she came closer to me, attempting to put her hands on my shoulders but I was too angry at my sister when she let out another scoff.

"Because I thought she was seeing Zach, Mia! What the fuck! She made mistakes too! Don't put the blame all on me." I yelled and there went my plan not to say anything bad about Bella. I didn't want my parents to be mad at her, they were the only two adults ever to show her some love I didn't want to ruin that, but Mia was making it so so hard.

"True! But if you would have listened to her and let her explain you wouldn't have walked in here alone, sulking and looking like a mess." Mia squeezed her eyes at me, spitting her words at me.

I just scoffed and rolled my eyes at whoever was able to see it. "Woah Mia, thanks."

"Guys please enough!" Mom raised her voice in a sweet yet frustrated tone. "Mia I understand you're mad red, Bella is your best friend but your brother doesn't want to talk about it and quite frankly, what happened between them is their business. As much as we want to know, if he doesn't want to talk about it we'll respect that. It's Thanksgiving for god sakes!" She let out a sigh while my dad nodded at her.

"Okay so can we just burry the hatched for the rest of tonight? Please? Your mom and I looked forward to this and please don't ruin dinner for which I have been working my ass of in the kitchen all day. Even if you're not hungry Luke, you're going to eat it." My dad blinked at me and I weight fell off my shoulders. At least they were sticking up for me when Mia decides to bash me and my choices.

"Fine!" Mia shook her head much to her annoyance.

"Good." Dad lowered his voice and walked to the fridge. "Can you two please help me put this on the table. Mia?" Dad ask her specifically and Mia helped him as both of them disappeared out of the kitchen.

I just stood there, watching them leave with plates in their hands. Suddenly I felt mom's hand on my shoulder, and I turned around. Before I knew it she had her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. "Whatever happened honey, I'm sorry. I know you loved her." She said into my shirt and I tried my best not to admit to the tears stinging in my eyes.

I hugged her back tightly, something I hadn't done in a while. "I really did..." I whispered, the pain in my heart making me want to get out of here but stag in her arms at the same time. It felt good to be held, to be loved.

She pushed me back a little her hands on both my shoulders. "So, a hand?" She asked while she nodded at the turkey in the oven. I nodded and within no time all four of us where sitting at the dinner table watching the turkey in the middle of it.

Thank god that during dinner mom and dad didn't bring up the subject Bella anymore. I knew I would have lost the little appetite I had with that lump pounding in my throat. Mia talked about Ben and the weekend away with his parents, dad continued to talk about the restaurant and some of his staff not getting the message on how to make the perfect sabayon. I didn't know either but now I do as he explained the entire process to us, step by step. Mom started talking about her half-sister being an absolute bitch to her the other day on the phone.

"Too bad you can't pick your siblings..." I slipped, instantly regretting it but celebrating the look on Mia's face at once. That's right Mia, payback is a bitch... I couldn't help myself oops.

"Oh Lukas really?" she instantly dropped her fork, making a noise that made both mom and dad stop stuffing the turkey into their mouths. "At least you have family! Bella is spending Thanksgiving by herself eating lasagna while she should have been here!" Mia yelled at me and I was taken aback, mostly by the naked truth. So much for payback as it came to bite me in the ass, once again.

My head hung low, looking down at my plate as all the feeling came flooding back. I tried to hide it well but I couldn't anymore but instead of letting it all out I attempted to disguise it with anger. "Whose side are you on!" I hissed at my sister while scrunching my nose at her with disbelief.

"I am trying not to be on any side, but you won't talk to me, you won't tell me how you feel. You have been acting so cold as if she never meant anything to you!" She sat back in her chair, violently crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Oh fuck off Mia! You don't know the slightest how I feel!" I bit harshly.

"Luke!" Mom interrupted but I didn't care about my vocabulary anymore, especially not to my sister.

"Then talk to us!" Mia insisted but the more she wanted me to talk the more I felt like getting up and walking out of the house.

"I don't want to talk!" I snapped back but just huffed.

"Please stop arguing!" Mom raised her voice while dad looked at the both of us with disappointment on his face. "Mia, Luke made a mistake but I'm sure he regrets it...Don't you?" She asked me but she already knew the answer. The fact she wanted me to say it out loud so Mia would understand made me roll my eyes.

"See!" Mia pointed her flat hand at me. "Exactly what I mean... He doesn't care!" she said, her tone bitter with frustration.

That's it! I have had it, trying to defend myself for my sister, she clearly doesn't care how I feel. I'm heartbroken and she just doesn't want to see it! It's not that hard to tell! "You really don't know when to shut the fuck up!" I shook my head while brutally sliding my chair back with infuriation. I kept shaking my head while walking outside to the patio, throwing the door behind me shut.

I walked out into the cold, taking a seat by the firepit dad had lit up, probably to have marshmallows as desert like every year. Fuck this! She thinks I don't give a shit about Bella, it's the other way around! She called me, yelled at me through that voicemail, she's done with me... I would take her back any chance I got.

I started throwing little branches and rocks into the pit while outing a hand to many through my hair. My mind drifted off into the flame and took me to darker places. I didn't realize the hurt it caused until tears coated my cheeks.

"Luke..." My sister's voice disturbed my thoughts, her tone softer this time.

"What do you want!" I turned around and I saw the startled look on her face when she realized I was crying.

"You're crying..." She pulled up her brows while she took a seat next to me.

"Woah good job Mia, I was starting to think you couldn't tell what actual emotions looked like, at least you got the crying right. Applause for that one braincell..." I said cynical, my eyes going back to the flame as I tried my best to ignore the upcoming scoff. But it didn't come.

"I'm sorry okay!" She said, genuine but still I didn't want her apology. The only thing I wanted I was never going to get back. "I really thought you didn't give two fucks..."

"Her angry voicemail was very clear. She said she is never going to forgive me! She doesn't want to see me, hear from me... Do you really think that getting dumped by the only person I actually truly loved wasn't going to hurt like a bitch? You can't be that oblivious!" I frowned at her. "I'm a wreck! I loved her more than anything! I still fucking do!" I buried my face in my hands, frustratedly tugging at my roots.

She scoffed slightly. "Uuumh I can't quite follow here... If you still care about her like that why didn't you just show up at the diner to talk to her..."

Her words were not making any sense to me. "What diner!?" I face her, unsure who's face held the most confused expression.

"She wanted to talk, you clearly didn't." Mia frowned as if it was straightforward, but my mind was turning in circles.

"My life would be so much easier if I actually knew what the hell you are talking about!" I looked at her with wide eyes as my stomach turned into knots. When on earth did she tell me she wanted to talk? I would have known if she had.

"She texted you! To meet her! Fix things! DO I need to spell it..." Mia pulled her dumbest face, acting as if I was dumb. Huh??? What the fuck is going on?? Shit! My phone!

"I clearly didn't get it! I broke my phone earlier this week!" I held my hand up in defense.

"Lukas... Are you joking?" She widened her eyes at me.

"No!" I said, trying to make it clear to her. Fuck what did I miss! Maybe the only opportunity to make things right! And I ruined it again...

"You didn't get her message?" Mia frowned again.

"No!" I repeated, going straight into a panic at this point.

"Fuck that's messed up!" Mia huffed as she let her face fall into her hands. All I heard was the pounding of my heart mixed in with her desperate voice.

"You think!" My voice broke with fear... She could have been here today if I didn't have the urge to smash my phone against the wall. Dammit Lukas you're a fucking idiot! She actually wanted to talk me... "And she thinks I just didn't show?" I widened my eyes when te realization hit me more than before.

Mia wobbled her head left to right with despair as she sighed. "Fuck this is bad. She was so heartbroken about the fact you didn't show your face... You should have seen her. She not okay Lukas. She really thinks you're done with her..." Mia said slowly, trying not to hurt me even more, but her choice of words cut through me deeply.

"But I didn't know!" I held up my hands before pushing both of them through my hair.

"Lukas if I didn't know you broke your phone, neither does she..."