I had never been so happy to be in a car, but as soon as I saw on the GPS that we were almost there I felt my chest tighten and my stomach was going nuts. I lowered the window to get some air much to Mia's annoyance. "It's freaking could outside. My face is going to freeze off." She snapped, frowning her brows.

"I need to breathe!" I huffed out trying to lower the window again.

"Bella stop! Stop acting like a headless chicken!!" Mia's voice echoed through the car.

"I can't, I don't know what to do! If he really saw what happened he's not going to listen to me! And what do I do then huh? Just give up!? Walk away? I can't do that! Mia I fucking love your brother and I made a mistake. A big one, o monster of a mistake, but that doesn't make me love him less! Zach kissed me, and I let him, but I pushed him away! Lukas is not going to hear it even if it comes out of my damn mouth, so what am I supposed to do?! Please tell me because I don't know! I'm gonna go in there and do what! Drag him out? He's not going to come on his own just because I ask him nicely! I can't do this! I have no idea how to make this right!" I rushed out and I think I didn't even stop to breathe once, tears stinging my eyes as I was more desperate than I thought. Mia looked at me with an open mouth and wide eyes.

"Will you stop ranting!" She snapped at me. "Do I need to shake you awake?" She widened her eyes again. "It's Lukas! I'm pretty sure he loves you more than his own family." She said sincerely. "Which breaks my sisterly heart." She laughed, trying to cheer me up even though she was mad at me. "He was crying like a baby earlier at the thought of losing you. Don't tell him I told you!" She looked at me. "He's going to be mad but eventually he'll listen." She smiled. "It's going to be okay in the end, I swear it on this car, even though it's not mine..." She laughed which made me chuckle.

I rubbed my face in my hands, pushing all my wild hair back. I can do this, I need to do this for us. "Alright, what do I do?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Just get him out of there first, before he does anything he's going to regret." She smiled comfortingly at me.

"Come with me...Please." I begged her, too afraid to go in there alone...

"No Bella!" she shook her head and my courage flew out of the car, with the windows closed. "The two of you made this mess and the two of you need to fix it...If I start butting in I'm going to pick a side and I don't want to do that!" She shrugged her shoulders while I fell back into my seat with a sigh. "We're here..." She said softly as she parked the car across the street.

"I don't think I can..." I shook my head, staring out of the window, watching the neon lights of the bar.

"Do you love him?" She asked me on a serious tone.

"Of course I do!" I didn't hesitate to reply, offended almost that she doubted that, but I couldn't blame her after such a monstrosity of a mistake. I wouldn't blame Lukas for doubting it too, but I didn't want that to be true.

"Tell him! Show him you love him by caring. Get your ass over to him and solve this bullshit!" She rolled her eyes when she leaned over me, reaching for the door handle. She pushed the door open and squeezed her eyes at me. "Bella, he needs you." She suddenly smiled.

She's right, sitting her like a scared egg isn't going to solve anything and for sure isn't going to get him back. "I need him too." I whispered as I got out of the car, warily looking at Mia before crossing the street. Please, please please let everything be fine.

I walked into the bar, neon lights everywhere, and to me it was rather grim than amusing. I was afraid walking in there that they were going to halt me at the door as I was obviously too young... But they didn't and when I saw the people inside the bar were around my age, I was no longer too scared to get kicked out. That's one problem less.

I scanned the place, my heart pounding against my chest, afraid to catch Lukas doing something stupid. I have a bad feeling about this. I turned to the bar, thinking he'd be there considering his drunken state and I was right. He sat on a stool, his hands supporting his face as he stared down at a shot.

My hands were still shaking with nerves coursing through me, I even felt nauseous when I saw how brokenly he sat there. "Lukas?" I whispered as put my hand on the bar next to his elbow. He looked up, his eyes bloodshot and tired. He's more drunk than I have ever seen him, more broken too.

He looked at me but all he did was scoff before taking the shot in front of him to his lips. He downed it in one single gulp before slapping the glass on the counter.

"Lukas what are you doing?" I said, putting a soft hand on his shirt. It's the one he worse on our first date. I noticed and it broke my heart to now see it all wrinkled and messy, just like our relationship at the moment.

He pulled up his eyebrows, his eyes hooded because of the excessive alcohol. "What do you think! Trying to forget about you!" He slurred his words as he ripped his shoulder away from my hand and I could tell by the loathe in his eyes that he meant it.

"Don't do this... please." I begged him and I thought I was strong, that I could face him without bending but I couldn't do this. My voice broke at the sight of him, more broken than this morning, more broken than ever. He was hiding it behind mean words that he meant, he meant them... and that broke me too.

"Leave me alone Isabella! Let me get drunk so I can forget about the past months...It would be like you never existed... Like you never wasted my time." He bit, squeezing his eyes at me in a hateful way, the equivalent of stabbing me in the chest.

"Is that what you want?" I said, my voice barely audible but he heard it. I was trying my best to keep it together even though his words cut deep.

"Absofuckinglutely! Everything was better before I met you!" He raised his voice before looking away. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head while I just felt my lip tremble.

"You don't mean that! Please Lukas don't say stuff you're going to regret later. Please..." I begged him, my hand on his shoulder making him face me, but his hand was quick to push my hand off him.

"You're one to talk huh?" He rolled his eyes before signing to the bartender. What the fuck more alcohol! How much is he going to push this! In the corner of my eye I spotted his car keys, lying on the bar. Before he could do anything, I snatched them away from him. I'm not letting him drive like this. "What the fuck!" He yelled loudly and I felt the embarrassment rush to my cheeks. "Don't touch my stuff!" He yelled again. His hand tried to grab mine, but his alcohol dazed brain wasn't coordinating the right way, almost making him fly off his stool. "For fucks sake Bells!" He gritted trough his teeth.

"I'm not letting you drive like this. Come on let's go home." I spoke softly as I was fighting back tears and struggling to breath. "Please." I reached out to cup the side of his face, but he wasn't having it, his hand slapping away mine. For that his coordination was fine.

"Why don't you go back to your new boyfriend!" He clenched his jaw at the thought of it, his eyes wild with anger. "You're disgusting!" He nearly spit at me.

"You're my boyfriend Lukas, that's why I'm here." I frowned my brows at him as I felt myself swallow the guilt away. He's here because he doesn't think he is anymore.

"Oh, am I...? Am I your boyfriend?" He pulled up his eyebrows. "So, did you think about your boyfriend when your tongue was going down Zach's throat? Huh! Look at you." He said actually giving me a once over followed by a look that only held repulsion. "How could I not have seen that you're just like the rest of them, a backstabbing bitch." I frowned my brows at his choice of words, the lump in my throat now pounding, bound to explode any time. I felt my lips tremble with emotion, but I deserved it.

I desperately shook my head. This was going to end badly. "Luke, I don't know what you saw, but you need to let me expla-"

"Explain what exactly, how his tongue tasted, how you fucked him in the locker room after? Fuck do you really think I want to hear anything coming out of your mouth. I want nothing to do with you right now." He yelled, not a single slur audible as he meant all of the angry words.

I bit my lip trying to hold back a scream the was lying on at the back of my tongue. "Is that what you think happened?!" I raised my voice with disbelief, not able to hold back any longer. "I stopped it... I pushed him away, because you were all I could think about Lukas! I love you! I freaking love you!" I pleaded, my hand reaching for him again but he already flinched, his thundercloud eyes looking right through me.

He laughed as he pulled up his upper lip with disgust. "Congratulations on stopping it Bells... yeah, kissing isn't cheating right...? Like it doesn't hurt just as much..." He rolled his eyes before looking away, taking a deep breath. "You say you love me, but sorry to disappoint you but at this point I don't feel anything." He scoffed in an evil way.

I took a deep breath as I looked at the floor. A tear fell out of my eye onto my shoe, the ones he gave me. "I'm sorry." I spoke quietly and broken. What more can I do or say...

He shook his head the moment I looked up and he saw my tears. "Yeah, I bet you're sorry now. Little too late for that isn't it?" He scoffed once more and with each scoff I became more desperate. He wasn't even affected by the fact his words cut deep, he was hurting me on purpose, and I guess I deserved that too.

"You're drunk!" I shook my head, not wanting to believe this is him talking from the heart but the alcohol blurring his thoughts. "Come home so we can talk about this. Please!" I sobbed begging him to come with me. Lukas please! Please come with me, I don't know how much longer I can take this.

"What's left to talk about!" He huffed, rolling his eyes at me, making sure I got the message.

"Everything!" I raised my voice as I held up my hands in despair, wavering them between him and I. He just scoffed at my response, like there was indeed nothing left for him. "Lukas, I love you, what more do I need to say... please tell me? Tell me what I can do to make this right." I begged him, not wanting to believe this was it. This can't be it, it can't! I'm not going to lose him over this mistake, my damn mistake. If I lose him I don't know what I'll do. I'll be empty, I'll have nothing left.

"Why don't you just say that you'll leave me alone, so I can have fun without you whining into my damn ear. Just go away... Leave... Disappear... I don't fucking care. I gave you my all and it wasn't enough." He shook his head with disappointment as his eyes focused on the bartender finally making him another load of shots.

"Oh Please! Like you're having fun!" I yelled at him, desperately trying to grab his attention.

"I was before your sorry face decided to show up! You look like a train wreck by the way..." He snapped at me as he gave me another once over; his eyes still filled with disgust. At his words I clenched my teeth, trying to hold myself from snapping back. He was hurting me again, on purpose, with words he knew that would get to me. I can't stand the person he's right now, even if it's all an act, a wall he build to protect himself from getting hurt even more.

I bit my lip, watching him thank the bartender for bringing two shots. "So, you're taking doubles huh? Don't you think you've had enough?" I nodded at the shots before he took one and threw his head back, letting the liquid stream down his throat.

He squeezed his eyes at me when he slammed the shot glass on the counter. "Nope, that one's not for me." He smirked at me and that bad feeling was back along with a sick feeling in my stomach. I had to tell myself to keep breathing, not the break, sob or faint.

"Then whose is it?" I asked softly trying not to break down in front of him when his eyes wandered to something or someone behind me.

"Mine." A familiar and deadly annoying voice said amused and when I turned around my heart dissolved at this joke with sick timing. I swallowed the hurt sitting in my throat away into a void that was left behind by my heart leaving my chest.

"Yours?" I narrowed my eyes at Jess, who walked past me in heels and a revealing black cocktail dress. Next to her I looked like a slob and she definitely wasn't wearing that outfit by accident. The look on Lukas's face as she walked over to him and threw her arm around his drunken figure was more than amused.

"Oh don't look so surprised Isobel..." Isobel? Ha funny you fucking twisted psycho bitch. In my head I had already attacked her, holding her in a fucking headlock. "He finally called me... said he needed a distraction. This here..." She smirked. "Is only a warmup." She said popping the p and all I wanted to do was pop the mocking smirks off both their faces. I lost is at the fact the Lukas threw a chuckle on top of it all, like he thought this was actually funny.

"What the fuck Lukas!" I yelled at him with surprised and horror while crossing my arms in front of my chest. "You don't have the guts to pick up my calls, but you do call her? Out of all the people you call her! And you think that I'm a backstabbing bitch!" I scoffed. "What is she?" I directed myself at her, looking at her with more disgust in my gut than ever. "Let me tell you what she is? Your mistake! You call the college psycho slut? For what? To get back at me? The deliberately hurt me?! What the fuck is wrong with you!" I raged with tears rolling down my face. I frowned my brows at him, standing tall to feel less small against Jess and her sky-high heels. Pppf bitch Please!

"I didn't pick up because you're the last person I want to talk to right now...." He slurred his words after that latest shot. "What are you still doing here, can't you see I'm busy?" He pulled up an eyebrow before snaking his arm around the biggest fucking snake of them all.

"Busy with what huh? Trying to break us up. To push me into a grave?" I growled at him. You're doing a great job.

"You already did that on your own snowflake." He spoke hatefully. The venom that he spit over his nickname for me hurt more than seeing his arm around Jess. He had always used it in the softest way possible but that was now ruined.

"He kissed me Lukas, I pushed him back, please come home! Please stop acting like this!" I pleaded one last time before I was about to give up. My stomach so sick, all I wanted to do was throw up, at best on her shoes.

"You let him kiss you long enough for me to see it... Do you want to know how that feels?" Lukas don't. He snapped, raising his voice as his eyes were more hooded than before, his voice sounded exhausted and his movement were slow. It was either him being drunk or me falling apart. The room started to spin, and everything was moving in slow motion as I saw his face turn to Jess who was waiting for him with a smirk on her face.

When their lips almost touched, I did what was brewing deep inside me ever since I saw her face and the evil smirk in his. I smacked Lukas's cheek against better judgement breaking the two apart before they could kiss. Call it a panic reaction or a desperate attempt to safe what was left of us, hell, even call me hypocrite, but I wasn't going to witness this.

He looked at me with chock, his hand grabbing his cheek while he instantly let go of Jess. For a moment that was all we did, look at each other. As I saw something human return in his eyes, I felt the same ooze away from mine.

"Who thought that after pushing me over you could fall any lower... I can't fucking believe you." I gritted through my teeth while his face fell. I need a drink. I grabbed the second shot glass that was meant for Jess and I toasted it to her scrunching my nose before rolling my eyes and throwing it back. I earned a scoff from the snake and a sad look from my supposed boyfriend.

"Huts doesn't it! I couldn't quite fucking believe it either when I saw how little I meant to you today around seven!" He narrowed his eyes at me when I slammed the shot glass on the counter. The alcohol almost came back up my throat it the sound of his words.

I stepped closer and got in his face. "Asshole! You fucking meant the world to me and you know it." I saw my words hitting him hard this time, only now I was the one pulling up walls, or freaking apartment building for that matter. He fucking tried to kiss her in front of me for revenge. "But you know what Lukas! You're right to use past tense." I raised my voice with more power than I thought I had left in me and I did something I didn't think I'd do so soon. I started taking off the bracelet he gave me. "Whatever this was to you, it's over Lukas! I'm done with you!" I said while his mouth parted, his brows painfully frowned. "And this." I pushed the bracelet into his chest, his hands instantly grabbing it before it could plummet to the ground like us. "This is a fucking lie! All went wrong in my world when I met you!" I cried my last tears of the day, falling into a deeper hole than ever while his face was covered with regret. Heartbreak does something to a person, if you let yourself feel it. At this point I didn't feel a thing.

I turned my back to him with ringing ears, his voice still loud enough to pierce through. "Bella!" He tried to yell at me, to make me turn around but I was determined to get out of here and away from him, from Jess, away from everything before I could start to feel again.

The cold air hit my face as I walked over to Mia waiting for me in the car. I swung open the door and instantly strapped in. "What happened!?" She asked me with wide eyes and I looked up at her with no emotion left to give.

"Jess was there, he tried to kiss her in front of me." I explained blankly as if it was all a dream.

"Wait what!? He tried to kiss that psycho bitch... In front of you... On purpose..." She cocked an eyebrow at me and I nodded before her face went hazardous. "I'm going to fucking rip his balls off and burn them in front of him on a freaking barbeque! Fucking idiot! Fucking fucking idiot!" She yelled, panic and pure anger in the way she tried to take her seatbelt off and flee out of the car.

I grabbed her arm, stopping her from doing anything. "Mia it's okay... I'm done." I said, no emotion in my voice and for sure also none in my face.

"Bella..." She whimpered, looking at me with sadness in her eyes and a parted mouth.

"Let's just get back, okay? Don't worry, I have his keys... He's not driving drunk anywhere." I said showing her the keys and without saying another word, biting her lip, she turned on the ignition and drove off.

I sat back in my seat opening my window, this time Mia didn't even flinch to try and close it, she just let the icy wind blow in my face even if it made her shiver. I stared ahead and was relieved to feel nothing, no love, no pain, no hurt. Nothing. I flipped the switch, pushing it all out of my system. I was happy and calm now I finally didn't have to feel anything.