The water I splashed in my face felt like ice in comparison how hot my face was getting after Lukas posed the most feared question. He wanted to know about them, my parents. I should have just shut up when I had the chance, but I had to spill my deepest darkest secret to him, him of all people. He's going to think I'm pathetic for not being able to defend myself or have the guts to go to the police or I don't know... I don't know what to say next...

I look at him in the mirror, his hair already starting to dry but what caught my attention most was the expression on his face. He looked questioned and obviously worried frowning his brows at my silence. I don't think I've ever seen him look at me with his eyes so soft. When I couldn't find the words, just standing there looking at him he gently took my elbow between his fingers, caressing my sensitive skin.

"Please, tell me Bells." He pleaded, turning me around facing him in slow motion, while his other hand tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. The thought of telling him the story, reliving every moment of it, made my eyes sting with tears. I don't want to, what is he going to think of me? He's going to think I'm fucked up or broken while I'm not, I'm just the result of terrible people who will not affect my life further, not anymore.

"I don't know what to say Lukas!" I whined, looking up to meet his face, his grey eyes light and soft. "I don't know!" I scowled, my defense mechanisms kicking in to avoid ever talking about this. I pulled my elbow from his touch and walked out of the bathroom, leaving him standing there with empty hands. My feet stomped over the hardwood floor, the sound of him following me absent.

I pulled the sheets of the bed and crawled underneath, pulling them up to my head. I rolled on my side, my back facing the bathroom where I supposed Lukas was still standing. I was angry at him for bringing up the one thing I wasn't ready to talk about. I don't think I'll ever be ready.

My sober mind was going over every possible explanation or excuse when I felt the matrass slightly give away on the other side of the bed. I imagined Lukas laying on his back his hands folded behind him as I heard him sigh deeply, yet I didn't move an inch, staying stiff as a board. I bit my lip, holding myself back from turning around to face him. I'm angry, but I can't be angry at him for asking. I'm angry at myself for not being brave enough to talk about it.

We laid there in silence, both sighing every now and then until I felt him move next to me, his head gently laying down on my pillow, snuggling his nose behind my ear. His hands gripping at my waist pulling me against all of him, one arm wiggling underneath me while the other wrapped around me.

"What are you doing?" I whispered as he held me in his arms tightly, prisoner until he decided to let me go.

"Keeping you warm, plus if you're going to be in my bed, I better use you as a pillow now that I have the chance." He chuckled, clearly letting go of the touchy subject I was trying to avoid at any cost.

"Who says I'm cold?" I said confused, frowning at his unclear intentions but pretty sure he wasn't going to let go of me any time soon.

"I don't care if you're cold or not, it's a damn good excuse." He laughed, his voice vibrating through my blonde locks, filling my heart with pleasure. "Goodnight, snowflake." He whispered before pressing his lips in my neck, awakening my entire being. As if I'm going to be able to sleep after doing that!

"Goodnight." I whispered back while wiggling my backside against his crotch as a way to return the favor for his sweet kiss.

"Hhm seriously Bella, how many cold showers do you want me to take?" He almost moaned in my ear and knowing I was doing something to him made me confident, because it meant I was having the same effect on him as he had on me. Which is ecstatic, especially having him so close. We ended up like this before but unintentionally, waking up in the morning with our bodies tangled like they had been pulled together like magnets in our sleep. But this time, this time was different. This time we chose to be this close.

"Sorry." I said, his reaction leaving me satisfied. He squeezed me once really tight before relaxing around me, his face buried in my neck and his breathing quickly becoming heavy, almost like he had found his happy place. He wasn't sleeping just yet as his fingers slid over my arm to my wrist leave goosebumps along their path until they traveled to my hand, our fingers intertwining, which made me melt instantly.

I tried to close my eyes, to let go of everything but I couldn't. There was something I needed to do, something I had to finish before I could feel the same peace as he was experiencing. I wanted that too, I wanted to feel relaxed, unchained, free and therefore I had to be brave.

"Lukas?" I whispered, my voice echoing through the silence of his room as I felt my heartbeat quickening in my throat.

"Hhmm?" He hummed against the side of my neck as his full lips attempted another gentle kiss on my sensitive skin.

"Please listen." I started, my heart beating out of my chest like I was going to have a panic attack. I took a sharp breath, stalling but preparing myself at the same time. My mouth opened to speak but the words weren't coming as expected. "I...It's...my..." I closed my eyes trying to compose myself, finding words in places I never looked, or wasn't ready to look. Not that I was ready now, I just had to.

I felt his arms loosening around me as his face left my pillow and he sat up, his back against the headboard. I followed his movement as I sat up, facing him, his hair messy which only made him more handsome. Now is not the time to get distracted. He Looked at my watery eyes and frowned his brows with worry. He had shown a completely different side of him, his gentle and caring side in comparison to his though exterior. If he could do that, I could show him the other side of me, my past. Be fearless Bella!

"Don't be scared." He said softly, encouraging me almost, while taking my hand in his, his thumb caressing my palm as my eyes stay focused on the tribal symbols on his fingers.

"I was..." I sighed again, finding my voice. "I was abused by my parents for years." It was just as simple as that and I exhaled. As soon as I managed to push the words past my lips, I put my face in my hands, trying to get a grip as tears stained my cheeks and my lip started to tremble.

"Don't hide." He said, his voice deep and sincere as his hands folded around my wrists and he pulled my hands from my face. But instead of leaving me hanging, crying in the openness he pulled me against his chest, his arms enveloping around my body. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but my confession made it feel real, intensifying the pain of every memory. "It's okay." He whispered in my hair as I sobbed, staining his T-shirt.

"No, it's not!" I took a deep breath, trying to push the tears back but instead of doing just that they kept coming like I was crying a decade worth of tears. I needed to tell him more, whether he was ready to hear it or not. "It started when I was eleven. First, verbal abuse, making me feel worthless each second of every day." I said, my voice shaking at every word. "While most kids experience bullying at school, my bullies were the ones behind the front door of my own home." I heard him grit his teeth at the thought of them throwing insults around like confetti at a party.

I tried to wipe away the endless stream of tears which was useless because it wasn't helping. I was once again worthless as I couldn't even stop crying and I hated that those were my thoughts, but I was programmed that way. "It lasted about a year and on my twelfth birthday things changed. My mom allowed me to have some friends over, but my dad hated to have other people in the house so when my friends left, he snapped. He got so mad that he didn't even notice he had broken my wrist as he twisted it too far in the wrong direction. We went to the hospital, saying I fell while playing which couldn't have been further from the truth. He got away with it which only fueled his sadistic thoughts. That was the problem, he knew he could get away with it and that's when things went south for me."

Lukas didn't speak but I felt him tensing around me, getting angrier as I continued. "Both of them started drinking and the more they drank the more I would have to try to cover the bruises from the rest of the world. Which was why I didn't have any friends. They would notice the bruises, start asking question and that would have only made things worse." I looked up to see his eyes focused on the wall in front of us. "As I got older the beating progressed, each year of age the blows became harder and more frequent as if I was getting punished for existing. There had been occasions I woke up somewhere in the house, not knowing how I ended up there almost always covered in blood from a cut somewhere." His eyes met mine when I said the words I had been telling myself for years. "They never loved me Lukas." I said, his eyes filled with sadness, but I was feeling light as a feather as every tear rolling over my cheek took a bit of the pain away.

Lukas pushed his hand through his hair, his fingers slightly tugging at his roots as he shook his head. "Are they still... Are they still abusing you now?" He hissed, anger and frustration coating his voice as his hand rubbed my arm in the gentlest way possible, both sides of him combined.

I pulled away to meet his gaze looking down on me, his grey eyes dark and moist. "College was the perfect opportunity to run away, they don't know where I am. They can't hurt me anymore." I sobbed, trying to wipe away the tears once again but his fingers were faster than mine as his thumb pushed away the last of my tears, calming me down to a state of peace I had been dreaming of ever since I can remember.

"Who knows about this?" He swallowed, his eyes boring into mine like he was trying to read my soul, or whatever was left of it after all these years of torment.

"You." Was all I could say, but it was also the saddest truth. "I never told anyone. I guess it took a bottle of Vodka and you to pull me out of my head. Don't tell Mia, I don't want her to worry." I whimpered when his hand cupped my face, our lips incredibly close. "Tell me what you're thinking right know." I already know: I'm pathetic, I don't belong anywhere, I'm all alone and that will never change because I am too messed up to be loved.

He broke eye contact at my words, looking straight ahead of him in the room as he pulled his lip between his teeth. "I'm fucking mad!" He snapped at the air in front of him as his hand smashed into the sheets, his other holding me close to him. "How could they! You were a little girl, you still are, innocent and sweet. How can anyone hurt you like that...?" He swallowed, trying to hide his sadness which he disguised well with anger. "I... You... You don't deserve that! No one does but especially not you! Fuck!" Lukas gritted through his teeth his fingers gently pushing my chin up, our faces aligning like they were made for each other. "Bells, I'm here, whenever you need me." He whispered, his teeth biting down on his bottom lip.

"Promise?" I pleaded, needing someone in my life I could trust. I never confided in someone and when I met Lukas, I had no idea he was going to be the one cracking my shell, peeling my wall down brick by brick, smashing it to pieces with an uncontrollable wrecking ball of feelings I still hadn't defined.

"I promise." As soon as he spoke, I smashed my lips against his, kissing him like he was the only one in the world, relieved he didn't think the things of me I expected him to think. Instead he comforted me and released me of the pain I was holding on to all by myself. I pulled back only to slide down on the matrass, pulling the covers over me as he followed my movement, his lips parted from the aftermath of our kiss.

I curled up next to him, my leg draped over his lower body as he laid on his back. As I breathed slowly, letting myself drift away, I felt the peace I was longing for, the peace I deserved, and it was all because of him. My feelings for him multiplying quicker than my heart could keep up with. I'm falling for him fast, and I don't mind at all...

***