《Bride of War [WATTYS 22]》44
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Fallon crosses her arms.
Slade stares down at her. "Do you want to know how long I've been a god of war?"
Fallon rolls her eyes. I sense they've had this conversation before.
"You're gonna tell me—"
"12,472 consecutive years. Do you know what consecutive means?"
Fallon's mouth twists up. "One after another," she muttered.
He nods. "One after the fucking other for 12, 472 years so I think I know what I'm talking about. I think I'm the resident expert in war. Can we agree?"
Fallon turns around smacking Slade with her hair. "Yeah but this isn't about war! You always tell me I can never trust humans, humans are evil, humans cannot be trusted—well I'm human?"
Slade raises his brows. "Barely."
She scoffed. "Am I supposed to be alone forever?"
Slade turns his back. "You're not to meet that boy again. My goal is not for you to be alone, Fallon. I just wish you to be safe. You don't understand...what you want...it won't turn out the way you think."
Fallon looks down at her hands. "Then...why did you make me like this?"
Slade flinches. He swallows visibility. "The same reason I did Dion, the same reason for Solice, Nathaniel—"
"What is it?" She begs.
He's shaking. She stared at his back desperately, looking for an answer.
"I needed soldiers —"
"Please," she pleads, her voice shaking. "The truth."
He flinched into himself more. "I...love you. And I can't bear to see you die. I'm sorry."
Her eyes widened, as she looked away. "That's all you care about, isn't it? Not if I'm happy. Just if I'm alive."
Slade says nothing.
She scoffs. "You did this to me. To us. To Monika. Out of pure selfishness."
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He doesn't deny it.
"I couldn't watch you die in front of me," was his only response. "I am a god. I have very few limits. That's one of them."
Fallon scoffed. "Then you should've left me where I was. No matter how much you try to separate me from them I am human. And I'm not meant to live like this."
He frowns. That fear churns into anger I can see it can almost feel it. He's going to say something he regrets.
I reach out to touch him, stop him. I'm too late.
"I am God. I decide how you're meant to live."
I close my eyes in regret. Fallon's lips tug up. "Oh yeah? I'll show you. You won't take my free will. And no matter what you're the god of...you can't make me into Simon not."
"Fallon," he tells. She's gone. His jaw clicks.
"I shouldn't have said that," he admits to me softly.
I nod.
"She's going to do something...very damaging to herself. It's what she does. What they all do. They can't hurt me, they are not that. Not with knives and punches. So they hurt themselves," Slade sighs, frowning.
"Was I wrong? I didn't mean to hurt them, Monika."
I don't tell him if he's right or wrong. I don't have that answer. I just put my arms around him. Tell him to work on taking deep breaths before responding when he's angry.
He gruffs, trying it.
He tells me it only works because he has to think very hard to move the inanimate lungs in his chest.
I tell him as long as it works. And we sit down as the sun goes down. He's not really paying attention to me. Trying to find Fallon, I'm sure.
The last time one of his children darted off in anger, he was speared by Orion. I wonder who will be the victim this time?
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