I observed my friend as he spoke to his nanny. He held a smile I haven't seen in like forever. I wish he was not so hard to convince. He likes her but I know he cannot do anything to ask her out.

After Marion he thinks all the women are the same and now he leaves for only his children. All I hope for is that she is able to crack the shell he is hidden in. It will also be good for the children to have a mother. They all seem to adore her.

In the morning all the memories came flooding back. I remembered how igniting our kiss was. How it manifested feelings unsaid.

I quickly got up,pushing my thoughts to the back because he may not even be feeling what I feel and he was just caught in the moment.

I did my morning routine. Dressed in black sweat pants and a grey tank top,I went downstairs to start preparing breakfast. I decided to make scrambled eggs,bacon,pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice.

Then I had little footsteps and giggles making their way downstairs. I was attacked by tiny hands.

"Goodmorning babies",I said as I bent down and hugged leon and Toya respectively.

"Goodmorning Josie",they said in unison.

"Goodmorning Josie",Matthew's voice sounded through the kitchen. I felt the blood rushing to my face.

"Goodmorning Matthew. How did you sleep?",I said trying to hide my blush as I held out my hands to hold Quisha. I kissed her cheek and placed her on my hip.

I started getting busy preparing the children's food and ignoring Matthew's presence. Yes,I ignored him. First,I didn't want to talk about last night. Second,he looked so good and I wouldn't resist throwing myself at him. Third,I didn't want to embarrass myself because he didn't feel the way I feel. I am sure he was just caught in the moment.

Breakfast was in silence between me and Matthew only the children were talking. I would steal glances at him but he was focused on his children. It hurt like a stab in my heart but I had to put on an act that I was okay though I wanted to stab him for igniting feelings in me yet he was not serious about it.

I needed to get away from him and thankfully it was a sunday so I could go out.

"I will be going out after breakfast. Hope you wont need me",I said breaking the silence.

"Its okay,for how long will you be out?",he asked still not looking at me.

"The whole day,"I replied. He just nodded. I finished breakfast and wanted to clean up but he told me to go.

I went Upstairs and changed into blue skinny jeans,a button up black shirt and checkered white and black vans.I held my hair in a messy bun and carried a white cross bag. I kissed the children goodbye and ofcourse they were whining but after a few bribes,they let me go.

I called for a cab and went to my mum's house. We had lunch together,talked for a while,watched movies and then called Sherry to meet us for dinner. Sherry arrived 15 minutes late and we had already ordered for her.

"So girl,why do you look like you have something bothering you?",Sherry asked.

"Nothing,I am perfectly fine",I replied defending myself.

"You seemed distracted the whole day,I just didn't want to pry",Merijn added.

"You seem so distant today like something is eating you up",my mum also added.

You can never hide anything when your family gangs up on you.

"Fiiinneeee, so yesterdaymeandmatthewwerecaughtinthemomentandwekissed",I said and immediately put my head down.

I heard no response from anyone so I lifted my head to meet three faces staring at me with mouths open.

"whatttt",I asked frustrated because I felt they were also judging me for kissing my boss.

"Girl,we didn't hear anything you said. You just blabbered. Can you go alittle slow",My mum said.

"Yesterday me and Matthew were caught in the moment and we kissed",I said feeling the blood rush up to my face.

" Whaattttt",they all said in unison.

"How did it happen? Who started it?",an excited Jolanda squealed.

"How did it feel? I mean kissing him",Sherry asked.

"Well it was a nice experience it being my first kiss,but I guess it meant nothing",I said shrugging.

"Oohh baby,why do you say that?",my mother asked with concern in her voice.

"Today morning he acted like nothing happened and he didn't even spare me a glance at the breakfast table",I said fighting the tears that threatened to fall.

"Ooohh baby,am sorry. But I know he likes you. I have seen the way he looks at you. Just give him time.",My mum comforted. They all hugged me.

"Enough with the sad vibes people. We here to have fun.",I said.

We then talked about stuff. We said our goodbyes and I went back to the Bentley mansion. The house was silent. I went to the children's rooms,kissed them and went to mine to get ready for bed. Deep down I wished I could see Matthew but that wasn't possible. I showered,wore my pajamas,texted my mum to let her know I reached safe and drifted off to a dreamless slumber.

I was excited when I saw Josie in the kitchen but she seemed to be ignoring me. I was confused.

"Did I rush the kiss?. Wasn't she ready?. Did she regret the kiss?.",I thought to myself.

Breakfast was in silence between me and her. She wouldn't even spare me a glance.

"I will be going out after breakfast. Hope you wont need me",she said breaking the silence.

"Its okay,for how long will you be out?",I asked looking at her through the corner of my eye.

"The whole day,"she replied.

I didn't protest but I was hurt. I wanted us to spend the day together but it seems she was avoiding me. I offered to clean up and get the children ready so that she could leave to clear her mind. She looked so beautiful but ofcourse I wouldn't compliment her she didn't want to talk to me. I watched her leave and felt as though my heart had been stabbed.

I got my children ready for the day. I cleaned up and since we were having a lazy day at home,I decided to call my main man,Benjamin to come over. I need someone to talk to. Benjamin came over in 30minutes and my children were delighted to see him.

"Uncle Benji",Toya and Leon squealed as he hugged both of them. Quisha held onto me acting shy so Benji just kissed her forehead.

We ordered lunch and watched disney movies. You know life with children. When the children went down for their nap,Benjamin and me had time to talk.

" So what's Poppin man,you seem distraught?",Benjamin asked.

I passed my hands through my hair and said,"I may have made a mistake with Josie".

"Wait what?,what do you mean?.where is Josie?",Benjamin asked.

"So... Yesterday we talked and you know she got sad,I hugged her for comfort then kissed her",I said looking at Benjamin for a reaction.

He started laughing and said,"You did what? I thought you would never make a move".

"What do you mean? I just told you I kissed my children's nanny and may have messed up and you are laughing?",I said confusedly.

"Matt,I have seen how you two interact with each other,how she looks at you and how you look at her. This was bound to happen with the tension between you two",he said laughing still.

"But I don't think she feels the same",I said. " This morning she didn't want to talk to me,look at me or even breathe the same air as me.",I added.

"Let her be man,I observed she is the shy type. Maybe she is alittle embarrassed",Benji said.

We continued watching movies,then ordered for dinner. After dinner,Benjamin left. I got my children ready for bed. I thought about waiting for Josie but decided against it. I should probably give her time. It was 09:00pm and she wasn't back home. I turned the TV off and went to my room to get ready for bed. I heard her come in at 10:30pm. I wanted to see her but just let it be. I worked for sometime on my laptop,then went to bed,wishing tomorrow is a better day.