My feet pound against the rotating belt of the treadmill. It's been five days. Five days since Noah slept with me then ran away like his ass was on fire. I haven't texted him. When I tutored Jackson I asked to meet at the library. It felt foreign to actively avoid Noah. Since we met I have been seeking him out, trying to place myself in his path, purposely going to places and parties I knew he would be.

My lungs burn and my legs ache, I reach for the control console and up the speed by two. It feels good to physically run, I feel like I'm always mentally running, like I'm running from the problems that I created. After reaching five miles I turn down the speed to an easy walking pace.

Stepping off of the treadmill, breathing heavily, I immediately run into someone. I look up, shocked to see Noah, standing at the end of my machine.

"Good Lord, Noah. What are you doing? How long have you been standing there?" I'm thankful for the exercise induced redness on my face for blocking the blush I always seem to have in is presence.

"Just for a few seconds. I wanted to talk to you."

I purse my lips "I'm busy right now, I have an advisor meeting, I need to go shower" I step around him, walking toward the locker rooms.

"Evie, please" he grabs my arm "can we meet at our taco place after your meeting? Please?"

I sigh "yeah, I guess"

He smiles down at me "Thank you"

"I should be done around two. Meet you there?" I ask.

"See you at two" he smiles down at me before walking away.

Well....shit. So much for avoiding him. I hate the way my heart flutters when he talks to me, when he looks at me, when he pays me any attention. I'm curious about what he wants to talk about.

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Sitting at a small table in the corner of the hole-in-the-wall taco joint I wait anxiously for Noah. I sip my iced tea, while looking over some of the pamphlets and information my advisor gave me on Boston University.

After reading the last paper I look at my phone, realizing that I had become so engrossed in the material that I lost track of time. It's almost three o'clock. I look around at the few tables in the small restaurant. I have no notifications on my phone.

To Noah: ?

I send the message and wait. After fifteen minutes with no reply I get up, packing my things to leave. He's obviously not coming. I won't allow myself to wait any more. I walk up to the counter and place a to-go order, getting my favorite order as well as Sierras.

--------

"Oh my God, you're an angel" Sierra squeals as I hold up the bag of food as I walk through the door.

"Give me a minute to change and we can watch a movie or something while we eat" I tell her as I run to my room.

"Not that I'm complaining, obviously, but why did you go all the way out to Los Velos?" She asks as I come out of my room wearing leggings and an old Led Zeppelin shirt.

"Ugh" I flop down onto the couch "I was actually there to meet Noah."

"Evie.."

I put my hands up, stopping her before she can continue.

"I know, I know. I ran into him at the gym and he said he wanted to talk. He asked me to meet him there after my advisor meeting."

"What did he want to talk about? Did he apologize for acting so weird the other night?" She sits on the couch beside me, digging into the bag.

"Um, actually, he didn't show up."

She freezes, looking up from the bag as anger starts to grow in her eyes and facial expression.

"What the actual fuck. He asked you to drive all the way out there then he fucking stands you up? The fucking nerve of that fucking asshole!" She yells.

"It's only like twenty minutes away" I shrugg, not sure what to say "at least I was able to get us some tacos" I try to lighten the mood.

"Nope. Uh-uh. Don't do that. Don't try to make this out to be no big deal. Did he text you, call you, anything?"

"No, I haven't heard from him."

"Uggghh" she groans "fuck him, Evangeline. Seriously. You know I love you and I try to stay out of this because you're an adult but Evie, come on. He's been such a fucking dick lately. Stop letting him treat you like this. Please"

I nod "I don't know why it's so hard for me to let him go, to ignore him when he texts or calls."

"Evie, I know you think that he's going to wake up one day and realize that he wants to be in a relationship with you but it hasn't happened in four years. I don't want to hurt you but I hate seeing you treated this way. He uses you. He uses you for sex and to tutor his friends and to comfort and care for him."

"It's been weird lately but it's not always like this, we're friends." I try to defend.

"I mean, I'll give you that this is worse than usual but babe, its always bad. I'm not saying that he doesn't care about you at all. He would be crazy not to want your friendship. But..."she sighs grabbing my hand "he doesn't need to make you his girlfriend because you kindof already are. Like, he runs around, sleeps with whoever, has no commitment, restrictions or pressure and you basically act like his girlfriend."

I chew on my lip.

"I mean, think about it" she continues "you're always there, whenever he calls, you help him, you've taken care of him tons of times when hes drunk or sick. You don't go on dates or sleep with other guys. You're basically his girlfriend, he's just not your boyfriend."

----------

Laying in my bed I thought about the last few weeks, about the things Jackson said to me, about Sierra words. I can't stop thinking about what she said. I'm his girlfriend but he's not my boyfriend.