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Mason

Will finally gets in bed and I watch him carefully. He looked so guilty when he got here and now laying in my bed after finding out I wasn't mad he looks so..content.

I bite my lip and turn off my light climbing in next to him. It's different having Will in my bed instead of in his. I wish it was a good different, but it's not. The worry of Shawn coming home makes it hard to focus on the boy in my bed.

Will is anxious and stiff making me annoyed.

"Will. What's your problem?"

He shifts if possible even further from me "I don't...I don't want to make you uncomfortable"

I scoff "why the hell would I be uncomfortable?" It's a stupid question I'm only ever comfortable with him, but he doesn't know that.

He mumbles "since Friday.."

I roll my eyes because he clearly doesn't understand that nothing about Friday made me uncomfortable, just uncomfortably turned on.

"Will. I wasn't uncomfortable then and I'm not uncomfortable now. You didn't do anything on Friday. I choose to stay you didn't force me"

He sucks in a breath and I know he's finally understanding.

"You choose to stay?"

I grunt "yes Will"

He pauses before whispering "why?"

I cringe because I don't think there's an appropriate answer.

"I wanted to watch."

His breath skips and if the lights were on I'm sure his face would be bright red. I sigh.

"I stayed because I'm fucking stupid Will. I should have left, but I stayed and I watched you fucking cum and it was the hottest fucking thing I've ever watched"

A strangled sound leaves Will and I turn on my side leaning over him "I stayed because I'm weak..you make me weak" his breath hits me and his breathing becomes erratic.

"M Mason" he whispers my name and a growl forces it's way through me "Will. Don't"

He whimpers at the sounds making me groan "Will...fuck" the way his body shivers at my words has me hard immediately.

I want nothing more then to move over Will and have my way with him, but I can't. Instead I drop my face to the crook of his neck and inhale his scent.

Will makes a sound and I groan, I'm too close. I shouldn't be this close.

I let myself lose control for just a second and place my lips against his neck.

Will whimpers "M Mason" my name coming from his mouth has me sucking my mark on him.

Will's body lifts off the bed and his groin meets my thigh making him moan lightly. His sounds only fuel me to move further down kissing my way to his collarbone and sucking a hickey there.

Will mewls and cries out as I leave my mark on him. He thrusts up again and this time his own thigh rubs against me "fuck"

He please with me breathlessly "Mason please"

I cringe because I know what he wants and I can't do it. I shouldn't do it. I shouldn't do this. I kiss his collar bone one more time before ripping myself away from him.

He whimpers loudly and I cringe wishing I wasn't doing this to him, but it's better then doing what I want. Having my way with him; Ruining him.

"I shouldn't have fucking done that"

Will makes a sound from my bed and I sigh "Will fuck I'm sorry I shouldn't. Go to sleep. I need a minute"

I walk out of my room despite Will's whimpering protests and head to the bathroom. I grip the counter and stare at myself in the mirror. I'm looking at the face of an idiot. A guy who fucks everything up. Who fucks everything except Will Jackson. Because Will Jackson is perfect and innocent; he's everything I would ruin.

I sigh after 10 minutes and go back to my room. I lay down next to Will not sure if he's awake or not, but if he is he doesn't say anything. It's around an hour later when I finally allow myself to roll over and pull him to me. It's not long after that when I fall asleep.

••

I wake up from the best sleep I've had in the last week annoyed. I don't want to be awake and I most certainly don't want to untangle myself from Will. I'm content with his body pressed against mine. I'm not even sure why I woke up.

That is until I hear it, Shawns home.

"Mason! Fucker get down here!" I cringe and hope if I ignore him he'll piss off.

I tighten my grip on Will just a little and think Shawns given up, but I fly out of my bed when I hear the stairs creak.

I rush from my room and barrel down the stairs before he can climb further then the second step "what the fuck do you want?"

I don't mean to egg him on but I'm pissed he made me leave Will.

He glares and turns walking toward the living room "what the fuck is with the mess?!"

I clench my jaw because it's his mess. The bottles and the cups everywhere.

He throws his hands up when I don't answer right away "so?! What the fuck is it?!"

His hands swing and he successfully drops his beer bottle in the process. It shatters at his feet making him glare.

"Oh good fucking job! Don't just stand there clean it!"

I resist talking back, it's not my fucking fault he's too drunk to hold a beer bottle, but I turn towards the kitchen to grab the broom.

However, I freeze when he speaks again "what are you two staring at? Who the hell even are you?!"

I turn finding Will and Hank on the stairs staring at Shawn whose already riled up.

"Get down here and tell me who the fuck you are! Your in my house god dammit!" I shake my head at Will not to move and he stops at the bottom step.

"He's a friend Shawn"

Shawn turns to me "a friend?! Did I say you could have a fucking friend over?!"

He turns back to Will making me on edge. I don't like his attention on Will.

"This isn't a fucking hotel you know! I already have two ungrateful whiny worthless pieces of shit living here!"

Will's eyes widen at his words and he stumbles over his own "uh I'm sorry I'll uh I didn't.."

Shawn glares "what the fuck? This ones a fucking idiot too?! Jesus Mason get this sorry excuse for a boy out of here!"

I glare at his words seething.

"Shut up"

Will's face is red from embarrassment and the way he stumbled anxiously over his words makes me want to shut Shawn up and pull Will back to my room where he'll be safe.

Shawn glares at me "I'm not fucking talking to you Mason, I'm talking to the fucking worthless piece of trash you let in my house"

When he calls Will worthless I snap "enough! He's not fucking worthless so shut the fuck up"

Shawn chuckles darkly "really Mason? Not worthless? Look at this kid! He's a wimp I bet I could tell him to lick the fucking beer off my boot right now and he'd do it!"

He grins humourlessly shaking his head.

"He's weak and fragile and frankly too small to do much of anything.."

I shove Shawn hard "shut the fuck up"

I shake my head his words ringing in my ears, weak and fragile and worthless.

Will isn't any of those things.

Shawn growls "shut up Mason would you I'm just saying what's true" he turns to Will "let's fucking go your leaving I can't look at your ugly mug any longer"

Will's eyes hurt me the most. The way he looks terrified, sad, and angry all at the same time. Every emotion I hope he never feels etched on his face at once.

Shawn lunges forward and grabs Will's arm yanking him off the last step causing Will to fall over landing hard against the floor.

Shawn throws his hands up "the kid can't even walk straight!"

I growl and move toward Will, but Shawn shoves me back "piss off Mason"

He grabs Will by the collar of his shirt and pulls him up shoving him toward the door "go home to whatever useless excuse for parents you have and if they don't want you, which I'm sure they don't, you might as well kill yourself because no one else will either!"

He shoves Will toward the door and I see red.

I lurch forward shoving Shawn hard before punching him in the face "don't fucking touch him!"

Shawn wipes the blood from his nose and glares at me moving forward, but I hit him again and then again and again. Anger coursing through me. Anger at him and everything he's ever done but mostly anger for what he said about Will.

The thought of Will and then Hank makes me pause and I stop hitting him, standing. He's not passed out but groaning "little fucker"

I grunt and pull the front door open before grabbing his shirt and dragging him on the front porch. Not caring that it's wet or that he might catch pneumonia.

I close the door locking it and he grunts "you can't lock me out of my own fucking house Mason!"

I glare at the door yelling back "Sleep outside Shawn or I'll call the fucking cops you piece of shit!" He doesn't respond and I don't bother waiting to hear if he does.

Instead I turn to Mason and Hank. Hank looks exhausted and sad, but his eyes land on Will whose own eyes are dropped to his feet. Hank looks at me and nods "I'm going to bed"

I give him a tight lipped smile silently thanking him, despite being younger then Will Hank's dealt with Shawn before. He doesn't pay no mind to the shit Shawn says, but Will. He looks completely and utterly defeated.

I walk over to him trying to keep myself calm despite wanting to punch walls and throw shit. The look on his face is unbearable.

"Will?" He whimpers and shakes his head making me curse and walk over wrapping my arms around him. He seems surprised at first but doesn't fight me. Instead he buries his face in my shoulder and his hands come up clenching my shirt and the way his shoulders shake tell me he's crying.

I tighten my hold on him angry, but I know I can't be angry right now. Not when Will is like this. I guide him upstairs and close my door behind us moving to lay Will down in my bed.

He cries and tries to turn away from me, but I don't let him. The same way I used to force Hank to tell me how he felt when Shawn dug into him. I'm not letting Will feel the way I did; like he's alone and no body cares, because I do.

I care so damn much.

I clench my jaw when Will cries harder and rub a hand through his hair "Will I'm so damn sorry"

I shake my head "I never should have let you stay here, if I had thought he'd come home like that I wouldn't have"

Will sobs and I curse "shit Will please...fuck Will listen to me" his cries slow down slightly and I sigh reaching toward him. I wipe his tears with the pads of my thumbs wishing more wouldn't replace them.

"Will please stop crying" he whimpers lightly and I groan putting my head in the crook of his neck I kiss him lightly.

I move up to his jaw and his cheek before kissing his tears away pulling back to talk "Will baby everything he says is bullshit"

I'm surprised when the name of endearment comes out but I don't stop. I kiss Will some more sighing

"everyone loves you Will. Your beautiful and smart and worth every single once of space you take up on this godforsaken planet"

Will whimpers at my words and I kiss him once more hard on the side of his jaw.

"Will, baby, look at me" his eyes open and he stares at me with a look I never want to see again. So much pain and confusion fills his eyes, but it's the confusion that scares me most.

The idea that Will might actually believe the words Shawn said to him.

I shake my head "you know he's nothing but a useless drunk right?"

Will nods slowly but he winces at my words and I don't really believe him. I wipe Will's cheeks once more and sigh

"I'm so sorry"

I lay down next to Will and he rolls over so he can lay on my chest. My breath catches, Will never lays on me. I always pull him to me, but tonight he wants me. He wants to be close to me and if it were because of any other circumstances I would be thrilled.

I run my hand through Will's hair slowly and after a couple minutes he sighs

"Mason" I hmm and he continues "your dads really horrible"

I chuckle lightly "I know Baby"

Will's breath jumps slightly but he settles against me. I cringe because for the third time tonight I've slipped up and called him baby. I shouldn't call him anything.

This can't continue.

Tonight I'll hold him and comfort him and try to fix what I broke, but tomorrow I'm done. I can't keep hurting Will not when he gets that damn look in his eyes.

I shake my head and watch him; the way his body rises and falls as he breathes. The way his hands tighten around fistfuls of my shirt. The way his eyelashes flutter when I brush my hand through his hair.

Eventually I force myself to go to sleep knowing this will likely be the only decent sleep I'll have for a while.

••