I felt butterflies in my stomach the entire day at work. Mateo could be so sweet but also so dominant. All I could think about was the evening I spent at Mateo's place. I couldn't forget about this morning either–how he'd commanded me, and after...when we cuddled and talked about mundane things like our favorite colors–his was blue. We'd also talked about our childhood dreams­; mine was something stupid like owning my own bakery when I didn't even like to bake, while his had always been to find love, and I melted at that.

Every time I was with Mateo, he kept surprising me with how open he was–about his past and feelings. I'd never met anyone quite like him.

When I got home, I made an early dinner and chilled on the bed, trying out a new series called The Witcher which I saw on my laptop. I had a several hours until I would meet Kevin at the bus stop.

As excited as I was to meet his–not yet official–boyfriend, I was glad I didn't need to go into the nightclub alone. There was something more nerve-wracking about going alone and meet up with the whole crew by myself than if I had someone with me. By going with me, Kevin was making this whole thing easier. It was a miracle I managed to go to Desire's Den alone, but then again, I wasn't really going to meet someone there; I just wanted to look. There, I had been anonymous.

When the time came that I had to get ready, I was almost disappointed. To clarify, I wanted to go out, but damn, this series was too freaking good. And the man in it...shit, he was almost as hot as my dominants. Yeah, yeah, I was a thirsty bitch–scratch that, just thirsty. I was definitely no bitch.

For once, I decided to fuck it and find clothes on my own instead of getting help from Kevin. While my taste ran rather dull, I still had a few options for clubbing that I, at least, liked.

It took me longer to decide on my own, but after a while, I ended up picking a short green velvet dress and my trusty black heels.

With that picked out, I sat down and did my makeup, going with something heavy for the eyes–dark, smokey eyes–and natural lips.

Standing in the biggest mirror I had, I looked over my outfit and makeup. It was such a contradiction, feeling like I looked pretty and still be so unsure of my looks. How did that even add up?

The dress hit the middle of my thighs, and it was tight enough to showcase my figure. My creamy white skin was a nice contrast to the deep green color of the dress. I liked it, even more than I thought I would. Usually, I would've gone for a pair of jeans and a nicer blouse. At first, I thought that was my style, but maybe...maybe it was more because it was the safest option? Nothing could go wrong with something basic, and I wouldn't stand out in a crowd.

It was dark out when I walked towards the bus stop, but it was still early enough for me to feel relatively safe–as safe as a woman could be, at least. Though, even then, I still had pepper spray, a rape whistle, and a pocketknife in my purse. You could never be too careful.

"Holy shit," Kevin whistled as soon as he saw me. He'd gotten to our meeting place before me, which was a first.

"Do you approve?" I laughed as I did a silly twirl.

"You're leaving me speechless, girly! God damn. I thought you were just going to meet Thomas and not steal him," he joked.

"Is he bi?" I asked.

"Nah, he's gay but girly, you're so hot you might turn him. Hell, you almost turn me!"

I laughed at his theatrics. Damn, I loved this guy. He was my kind of person through and through. He was everything I always wanted in a friend. I knew if I ever needed him, he would be there. If I needed comfort, he would give it. If I needed a laugh, he would go full drag and perform a show only for me. I'd never seen him in drag, but I knew he would do it to lift my mood if I ever needed it.

"Alright, here's the bus. I want the window seat!" Kevin shouted, and I shook my head and smiled.

We didn't go to one of those fancy nightclubs, but rather one that was cheap and inclusive. In my opinion, those clubs were usually the best.

"Is it weird that I'm nervous?" I asked when we were let in by the bouncer and walked in. The place was full of people–an ocean of bodies. The music was loud, and I could feel the bass traveling through my entire body, centering in my chest.

"Definitely not weird that you're nervous, but there's no need for that. Thomas is the sweetest–"

Mateo was the sweetest, I corrected in my mind, still living on the cute moment we had this morning.

"–but if you want to leave at any time, just say so, and I'll take you home," he smiled.

"I'll be fine, really. I'm just not that good at meeting new people." I struggled a little with social anxiety, but I'd gotten way better than I was before I moved to the city.

Living at Greenport was...tough. Don't get me wrong, Greenport would always be in my heart. Still, with a little over two thousand inhabitants, everyone pretty much knew everyone. Small things like going to the store made my stomach hurt because they knew who I was, and I was afraid of what they would think of me.

In New York City, I was anonymous, and their opinions didn't bother me as much. After moving, I started doing exposure therapy, though, not on purpose. There were groceries that needed buying, classes I had to attend, work I had to do... I got used to it, and in the end, the anxiety lost its grip on me. Getting to know new people, though, I still needed to work on that. In that respect, my three dominants were helping me more than they would know.

"Even so, just say the word," Kevin winked at me before sliding his phone up from his back pocket and opened the message he'd gotten from Thomas. "He says they're by the bar. Are you ready?"

Looking at Kevin, I could tell he was trying to push away his own nerves. He really did like this guy, I could tell.

After two years of knowing Kevin, I'd met several of his one-night stands and those he dated for a very short while. All of the meetings had been unplanned, like when I came to his apartment to pick up something I'd forgotten after a movie night, or when one of his one-night stands had invited himself along to the Café when Kevin was going to work–yeah, that guy was sort of creepy.

This time though, I knew it was important for Kevin that I met this guy because I was important to Kevin, and Thomas was starting to become important too.

I nodded resolutely. "I'm ready." More than ready to meet Thomas, not so much this friend of his. I wondered if that other guy was aware this wouldn't be a double date.

If not, it would be awkward as all hell.