My tie is damn near suffocating me. I tug on the black silk and Loni slaps my hand away with a scowl.

"You look fine," she snaps in a whisper.

"I feel like I can't breathe."

"You can breathe. Just calm down."

I try to calm down, normally her soothing voice is enough, but not now. Even the echo of the waves that crash around us is not enough.

My nerves are all on edge, probably because every time I glance around, another family member, who I never met or haven't seen in years, tries waving at me. They've been telling me how happy they are for my father and how happy I must be for him. Yeah, I'm fucking thrilled.

After talking to Loni, she made valid points and I decided to come, only with the condition that she be my date.

I'm too anxious to even focus on her though. My dick would have gotten hard at the sight of her in the tight little blue dress she's wearing, but it doesn't. Her ass looks amazing and it wouldn't take much to slide my hand up her leg and touch her sweet pussy.

Yeah, not even a fucking twitch. I'm completely flaccid. All of the blood in my body is going straight to my head, I can't really focus on anything.

I never pegged my dad as a beach-weeding kind of guy. But I don't know Kim very well, maybe this is all her idea.

Loni squeezes my hand and I am snapped back to reality.

A harpist plays and my dad walks down the aisle which is covered in red rose petals. He looks... happy. I haven't seen a smile this big on my dad's lips in, well, forever.

My shoulders tense and even Loni's thumb running over the back of my hand isn't enough to help me relax.

He stops and stands under an arch that's covered in red and white roses. The blue ocean sits behind him.

Everyone shuffles to get out of their chairs. I don't move, I can't. It's like my body is covered by a ton of bricks. Loni grabs my arm and pulls me up out of my seat. She keeps her arm around my waist, probably worried I'll fall down at any second.

Kim walks down the aisle as the harpist plays a different song. Everyone gushes about how beautiful she is, their whispers drown out the sound of the music.

I don't look at her. I don't even know what kind of dress she's wearing. Loni will have to fill me in later. All I can focus on is him. Standing up there, tears in his eyes as he watches his bride, getting ready for his new life.

Does his new life involve me? Or was he just full of shit when he said he changed?

There's a moment when Kim finally reaches him, he places a kiss on her cheek and then looks out at all of us. His eyes stop as soon as they fall on me. His smile fades for a second and brief surprise washes over his expression before looking at Kim again.

The ceremony is short and I don't really hear any of it. I know it's over when everyone cheers and claps. He wraps Kim in his arms and kisses her with such passion.

I need some liquor.

The cocktail hour is a nice distraction. There's tons of booze and food and no dad. The only people I'm interested in talking to right now are Loni and the very heavy-handed bartender. I'm drinking whatever the hell I see on the bar first. Whiskey, vodka sodas. I might puke later, but I don't give a fuck. That actually might be a pleasant experience compared to this.

Though, my moment of bliss doesn't last long as we are ushered into a different tent for the reception. White and pink flowers cascade down from the top of the tent. Entwined with the flowers are thousands of twinkling lights. I want to look around more, but as soon as Loni and I sit down at our table, the DJ announces the newlyweds.

Dad and Kim come into the tent, she's in his arms waiving her bouquet in the air. He puts Kim on her feet and the DJ starts playing a slow song. I don't know what it is, my thoughts are too loud.

Did he dance like this with my mother?

I can't be the only person who has these kinds of tantalizing thoughts when their parent gets remarried. But for some reason, it feels that way. Like no one in the world knows what I'm going through. And as much as Loni tries to comfort me, I can't settle down.

"I just want to say," my dad starts to speak once the dance is over. He's holding a champagne glass and Kim is standing by his side. "I am so happy to have all of you out here to celebrate with us today. We are so blessed to have all of you." He pauses, and his eyes lock right on me. "And I am especially thankful to have my son Jace here tonight. I've made some mistakes in my life, but you," he points to me, "you have made me become a better man. Without you, I wouldn't have been able to have this." He looks at Kim and then back to me. "I love you, son."

Yup, there it is.

There's a lump so huge in my throat it fucking hurts and my eyes water. I can't cry. I have been dying to hear those words come out of his mouth for so long. But here, now, I don't know, is it genuine? Or is he putting on a show for the crowd to look like a decent father?

"You okay?" Loni whispers into my ear as everyone claps around us.

"I don't know yet."

***

The night continues smoothly. I have to admit, they know how to throw a great party. The DJ plays some good music, the food is incredible, and the endless supply of alcohol is perfect. Though, I think I ate too much to really feel my buzz anymore.

The liquor and Loni take my mind off of things for a while. I'm not much of a dancer, but during a couple of songs, she got me out onto the dance floor. Holding her in my arms, rubbing her back, and feeling her slow steady breaths against my chest is just what I need.

I just want this night to be over so I can take her home, lay in bed, fuck, and forget all about the rest of the night.

"I'm going to get another drink," Loni shouts in my ear as the DJ starts playing a Bruno Mars song. "Come with me?"

"No, you go. I'm going to get some air."

She gives me a questioning look before walking to the bar and I step outside the tent. The night air is chilled, and it's so windy on the beach, but it feels good. Being out of Loni's grasp gives me the much-needed opportunity to loosen my tie.

I breathe in. The salty air clings to my lungs.

"Beautiful night," my dad says, standing next to me.

I freeze, staring at him. How long has he been standing there?

"I really appreciate you coming, son." His voice is shaking. He's nervous. "I've been hoping I'd get another chance to talk to you. I did try to call you."

"I saw."

"I guess it's best to speak in person anyway." He forces a laugh, but it doesn't really come out. "Jace..." He adjusts himself so he's standing diagonally to me. "I want to apologize for Thanksgiving. I should have handled things better."

I swallow hard but can barely manage the act.

"What you walked in on though," he shakes his head, "it wasn't what you thought." He pauses, drifting away from that subject for a moment. "I was a terrible husband and father."

"I won't argue with that," I chide.

"I didn't deserve your mother, she was a great woman. After she died, I should have been there for you. I was selfish and for that, I am so sorry, Jace."

"You never cared about me. You paid no attention to me at all. We were strangers to each other."

"I was scared, Jace. I wasn't cut out to be a father. After Hannah died, I knew you were better off with anyone but me. I thought it would be worse for you if I tried raising you. I thought I would fuck you up like my father did to me." His eyes gloss over.

"I would have rather seen you try to be a parent. In the end, I'm fucked up anyway."

"No, son, look at you, getting an education, you have a beautiful girlfriend, baseball, you gave your team their first victory."

My mouth goes dry and my eyes widen. "You saw my game?"

He throws his head back on a laugh. "I have never missed a single one of your college baseball games. I stream the broadcast of your games on my TV. And when you played in high school, I would listen to the games on my radio at the office."

My heart aches. Fuck, I never knew any of this. I don't even know what to say right now.

"I am so proud of you, for every that you do. And your mother would be proud to. I'm just sorry I missed out on so much of your life. I'm sorry it took so long, but I need to step up for you now. Be there for you now as a father even though you don't need much raising anymore."

"Dad—" I choke out but he holds up his hand to stop me from saying anything.

"That phone call you saw me take at Thanksgiving... Kim hates when I answer my phone at the table. And it was a business call. My company is going to be building some apartments in New York. The project is going to start within the next year." He steps closer to me, a grin tugging on the corner of his mouth. "I was speaking with my advisors to discuss you coming to work with me over the summer and then, once you graduate from college, you will be my partner and ultimately take over for me."

What? What in the— Huh?

He wants me to take over his business? I don't know what to say, what to feel. All of this is too overwhelming and the liquor is finally pumping through my blood again. Am I hearing this right?

He laughs again and places his hand on my shoulder. "I know this is all overwhelming. Take some time and think it over. I've wasted so much of our lives being a shit father, but that's done. I want you in my life, Jace. I love you." He gives my shoulder a squeeze before he walks back into the tent, living me alone on the beach.

My mind races in a thousand different directions I have no idea what to think. Hearing all of this, things I had wondered about for years, it just doesn't seem real. But what would it do for him to lie? I didn't know it, but he was there for me, noticing me.

"Hey," Loni says walking up behind me. She wraps her arms around my waist and presses her cheek against my back.

"I talked to my dad," I say on a breath.

"I know. I saw. I heard everything."

"You did?"

I feel her nod against me. "What are you gonna do?"

I sigh and turn around so I'm facing her and her arms are still wrapped lazily around my waist. "If he's willing to put in the effort of mending our relationship," I pull her arms off of me so I can take her hands, tangling our fingers together, "then so will I."

Yes, my dad and I have a lot of shit we still need to work out. A single heart-to-heart on the beach is not enough to mend our broken relationship but it's a start.

"You want to know what's certain about my future?"

"What's that?" She coos with a soft smile.

"That I intend to marry you. And have a big beautiful wedding just like this."

"Oh really, just like this?" She cocks her brow.

I nod. "Whatever kind of wedding you want, you will get."

She laughs. "Show me a ring first and then we'll talk, buddy." She pats her hand against my chest and we both laugh.

The future right now is uncertain. I have some big decisions to make. My dad. And now baseball. Knowing that my father was watching my games, makes it harder to give it up for good.

I do know one thing for certain though, as long as I have Loni by my side, everything will be alright because I love her and she loves me. I am going to spend the rest of my life with this girl and never let her go.