During one of my Sunday calls with dad, I mentioned to him that I'm bringing someone with me to Thanksgiving dinner. He sounded surprised but pleased. He told me he couldn't wait to see me and for me to meet his fiancé, Kim. But honestly, the only person making this bearable is Loni. If it weren't for her, I think I would have backed out.

Hell, I want to back out even though she is coming with me. But I can't do that to her. Loni hasn't spent time with her family for the holidays since she graduated high school. I found that out as soon as she jumped into my car, all cheery-eyed with rosy cheeks and the biggest grin. Normally, she orders in Chinese food and watches horror movies all night anytime there's a holiday. Thanksgiving, Christmas, you name it.

She looked so excited when I picked her up that I didn't want to spoil her fun by telling her about mine and my father's history. All she knows is that we don't keep in touch much. I've spared her the gritty details of our relationship. If I can even call what we have a relationship.

We are an hour and a half into our drive down to Miami. Thirty minutes to go. With each passing minute my grip tightens on the steering wheel, my chest constricts, and I can barely breathe.

"Did you grow up in Miami?" Loni's soothing voice pulls me out of my building anxiety.

"Pretty much," I say cooly.

Loni looks at me for a brief second with wide eyes, then adjusts herself to look forward. She wants to get to know me. I want her to know me, to let her in. I'm tired of the arrangement that we have. I want a full-on relationship with this girl, but telling her about all of my family drama is not the way I want to start any kind of relationship. But there is also a part of me that wants her to know everything.

"When I was twelve years old, my parents divorced so I lived with my mom in Tampa."

"Does she still live there?"

My eyes burn. Yup, this is exactly why I didn't want to talk about this. But the look in Loni's eyes, the compassion behind her smile, I can't hold anything back.

"No," I say on a deep exhale. "She died right after I turned sixteen."

"Oh, Jace—"

I shake my head. I don't want to hear the words "I'm sorry" come out of her mouth. The pitiful expression she's wearing is enough to make me cry, but hearing those words could make me have a full-on breakdown.

"My dad just moved into this new condo," I say abruptly changing the subject. "He designed this building himself."

"That's impressive."

"The man owns a majority of the buildings we are about to see."

As we drive through the crowded streets, Loni peers out the window, pointing at every building we pass, asking if my father had anything to do with it.

I nod with a simple "mhm" because my nerves are getting the best of me again. The GPS tells me we are two minutes away from our destination.

"Woah," Loni exclaims with awe as she tilts her head to look out the window at the tall building made completely out of glass. My father's building.

Guards stand outside the entrance to the parking compound. I give them my ID and they let us in. The spaces are occupied by expensive sports cars and luxury vehicles.

When I find a space, I throw the car into park, turn off the engine, and don't move a muscle. I can't do this.

"Hey," Loni places her hand over mine which is still gripping the wheel. "It's going to be okay." She offers a warm smile.

Right now, none of this feels okay. But, I plaster on a fake, toothy smile and nod at her.

She doesn't buy it. There's a worried glint in her eyes that gives her away, but she hops out of the car anyway. She trots around to my side of the car and opens the door for me.

I laugh and take her extended hand.

"I'm surprised this place doesn't have a valet service to open the car doors for us," she jokes.

"I'm pretty sure they do. Probably off for the holiday."

"Oh," she laughs again.

Yeah, I'm so fucking happy she's here.

Without any reluctance at all, which is surprising, she entwines her fingers with mine. I smile down at her and redness fills her cheeks.

"Oh my god is that a Rolls Royce?" She gushes, looking at all the cars as we walk through the garage.

Her cute little comments take away some of my tension. She even freaks out over the fact that dad lives in the penthouse. The fancy elevator even gets her excited. She's so damn cute.

"Do you think I should have dressed up a little?" She asks, running her hands down the sides of her knee-length purple dress. It's simple and flattering on her body, showing a tiny amount of cleavage.

Fuck, I just want to go back into my truck and rip that dress right off of her silky skin. Bury my face in those tits and feast on her pussy. Now that sounds like a good Thanksgiving dinner.

I swallow down those thoughts. They are making my pants too tight and I'm already uncomfortable enough. "You look perfect." I squeeze her hand and when she smiles at me, my dick twitches again.

I need to touch her now.

The elevator dings and stops on our floor.

Shit.

The gold doors open and the door to his apartment is right in front of us.

I can't do this.

Too late.

The door swings open and a woman I have never met is standing behind it. She's older. A few subtle wrinkles are etched into her skin, but she's beautiful. Dark brown hair lays over one of her shoulders in a cascade of wide curls. Her bright red lips curve into a smile.

"Jace?" She asks but doesn't wait for a response. "I'm Kim. Oh, it is so nice to finally meet you."

Say something.

But I can't I'm frozen and tongue-tied. I never expected my dad to be with a woman like this. A woman his own age. A woman who appears to have had no work done.

I pictured Kim to be a girl in her early twenties, fake blonde, huge tits, you know, the kind of girls my dad always likes to hook up with. But this Kim, she looks like a real person.

"I'm Loni." The two of them sake hands. I was so lost in my own thoughts to see their introduction.

"Well, come on in you two." She steps out of the way and we walk inside. Actually, Loni pulls me inside. "Your dad is just finishing up in the kitchen," Kim says, closing the door.

His place is completely surrounded by windows. It's so light and airy in here. A spiral staircase is to the left of the door, probably leading up to the bedrooms because the entire floor we are on now is a big open space.

"He's cooking?" I ask skeptically. The man has never cooked for me a day in my life.

"Of course. He's always in the kitchen. He wouldn't let me lift a finger today."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Loni offers.

Kim fluffs her hands. "No, no. Please, just make yourselves comfortable."

That's going to be a difficult task.

"Kimmy, have you seen the carving knife?" My father saunters out of the kitchen. He stops abruptly when he sees me. "Jace," he breathes.

God, I hate how much I look like him. I looked nothing like my mother. But my father and I share the same dark hair, same nose. We even have the same posture. And seeing him now, I'm pretty sure we are the exact same height.

"Oh my god, Jace." The biggest smile coaxes his lips and he walks toward me again. I'm not sure what I expected him to do. But I sure as hell never expected him to hug me. His arms are wrapped around me so tight I can barely breathe. When he pulls away, his hands are on my shoulders and he's smiling at me. "It's so good to see you, son."

Son?

Fuck, I thought I was done with the tears, but there is a sting in my eyes that I can't shake no matter how much I blink.

It's just something about him, standing here, looking at me, talking to me face to face, after all these years that sets me off.

"Who is this?" He asks, letting go of me.

Loni waits for a moment, but I take too long to introduce her. "I'm Loni. You have a beautiful home, Sir." She shakes his hand.

I wish I could be that cordial with my own father.

"Please, call me James."

After the quick introductions, Kim gives us a small tour of the condo while dad retreats back into the kitchen. I can't even focus on what Kim is saying. We are standing outside on the huge balcony and she is talking to Loni about the beach, or the traffic, I have no fucking idea. All I can think about is how I've entered some kind of weird parallel universe.

The man in that kitchen is not my father. Does he have a twin brother I never knew about? My father never hugged me growing up. Not once. Not out of love or comfort. He didn't pay much attention to me anyway to know if I needed love or comfort. But as soon as I walk through the door, he throws his arms around me and pulls me into a tight embrace.

I'm going back to my original thought when he first called me and invited me to this dinner. He has to be dying.

But he looks good. He looks in shape. His hair is barely showing any gray for his age. I mean, the guy could probably run a full marathon and not even get winded. He has a pretty hardy appetite too.

He prepared a huge thanksgiving feast that is laid out over the excessively long table. The three of them waste no time digging in. But I don't think I have the stomach for any of this.

Loni keeps looking at me, squeezing my leg under the table anytime my shoulders start to tense up. But despite these motions, nothing is going to make me relax.

"How long have you two known each other," Loni asks.

"We've been friends for a few years," Kim says, taking my dad's hand. "But it wasn't until that Christmas party that you looked at me romantically." She's looking into his eyes and they both wear cheeky grins.

"How could I not," he coos, then looks at Loni. "You should've seen the dress she was wearing." He looks back at Kim. "You took my breath away. And from that moment I was hooked."

Loni hangs on their every word. But I can' help but think it's all bullshit.

I shove a forkful of mashed potatoes in my mouth to keep me from scowling, but it feels like acid against my tongue. I force down a swallow.

"James proposed, what was it, about three months ago."

"Your ring is so beautiful," Loni says.

"Thank goodness I found myself a man with such good taste." Kim leans over, planting a kiss on his cheek, but before she can pull away, he grabs her chin and pulls their lips together.

Loni glances up at me but her smile fades. She mouths "you okay?" But I can't even muster up a nod. I'm not looking at her. I'm watching the two of them, kissing, acting all loving. And I can feel Loni's eyes burn a hole into my neck.

I hate that she has to see me this way. I'm embarrassed by my own behavior, but I can't help it. I can't stop the rage from building up inside me.

A phone ringing is what pulls me out of my daze.

"Excuse me," dad says, wiping the corners of his mouth with his cloth napkin before getting up from the table.

The phone rings and rings and he doesn't answer it until he is out of sight. An act that's all too familiar to me. Waiting to answer the phone until he is out of earshot. He's still the same son of a bitch he's always been.

And his poor fiancé. Sitting at the dinner table, admiring her ring, without a clue in the world about her future husband's adulterous acts.

"I'll be right back," I mumble into Loni's ear.

Heavy feet propel me through the living room. Where the fuck is he? I'm like an animal right now, stalking its prey. There's a white door just past the living room. From outside it, I can hear his voice. Hushed. Secretive.

I don't hesitate.

I fling the door open.

He flashes a glance at me. In a hushed tone, he says, "We will meet up tomorrow. I have to go." He hangs up.

Fucking hell, this is bringing up too many memories I tried so hard to suppress.

"Jace, what's up?"

"You fucking bastard." I slam the door closed behind me and confusion washes over his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you? What the fuck—" I can't control the words flying out of my mouth.

My mother would roll over in her grave if she could see this right now. If she could see my father doing this shit all over again.

He backs up until the big wooden desk in the middle of the room prevents him from taking another step.

"Have you learned fucking nothing?" I snarl stepping closer. "How could you do this to that poor woman out there? Your fiancé?" My blood runs hot under my skin and my jaw aches. I can feel the vein on the side of my neck throb with rage.

He licks his chapped lips. Unable to find the words to defend himself.

"You will never change. You can't even go one night without calling one of your whores. You are so pathetic it's disgusting. Does Kim know what you're doing? Hm? Does she know that you are, and will always be, a cheating no-good son of a bitch?"

A hand grabs my throat and my body slams against the filled bookcase behind me.

"Don't you dare!" He says through gritted teeth. He shoves my head back against the bookcase but loosens his grip when a few books tumble down. "Don't you dare talk to me like that." His brown eyes are glossy and his expression is filled with hurt. "You don't know me at all. You don't."

"I do know you."

"No," His hand tightens, constricting my breathing for a moment before he releases me completely. But he still boxes me in.

My chest rises and falls rampantly, each breath is tethered to a growl.

"You don't Jace. You have gone through your whole life without knowing me. Without talking to me. After your mom died, you acted like it was my fault. My fault." His last words choke out, but he swallows hard, collecting himself. "I admit it, I fucked up. I was a terrible man. But I've changed. I've changed and you can't see that because we haven't talked in years. You pushed me out of your life."

"I didn't push you out. You never let me in."

He lets out a harsh sigh, closing his eyes tight, and shaking his head before saying, "I was never a good father to you, Jace. But I'm trying to be now. Despite everything I did in the past, I still love—"

"Don't you fucking say it," I snap through gritted teeth. "You don't—" Fuck, I can't even get out the rest. There's a knot so big in my throat I can't breathe.

Tears sting my eyes, but the last thing I want to do is cry in front of this man. I shove him away with my balled fists and hurry out of his office. I don't turn around when he calls my name.

Loni and Kim are still sitting at the table, staring at me when I round the corner to the dining room. Their faces are flushed, and shock pulls their mouths open. No doubt that they just heard everything.

"Thanks for dinner," I mumble under my breath to Kim while I grab Loni's arm and pull her up from the table.

Loni doesn't protest. She fists the back of my shirt with her free hand, trying to stay close with how fast I'm moving.

I hear his footstep come up from behind me, but he stops and I don't look back. I don't look back until I'm standing in the elevator, waiting for the doors to close. And for a moment, I see his face. The face of a man I don't even recognize. One that looks just like me. One I don't know at all.

As soon as the elevator door closes, I fucking lose it.

There's nothing like having a mental breakdown in front of the girl you are trying so hard to impress. But I can't help it. Right now, I don't care, nor can I think about how I look.

I can't catch my breath. I'm breathing heavily, but no air is filling my lungs. This only makes me try faster, harder. My vision is hazed. The lights on the elevator buttons blur together, they are practically blinding. I stumble backward, slamming my hip against the handrail. I curse under my breath, over and over, until I mumble nonsense. And then the tears come.

"Jace--"

Collapsing onto the ground, my body trembles out of control.

"Holy fuck, Jace!" Loni's worried cries sound so far away. She stumbles towards the buttons and the elevator jolts to a stop. She gets down on the floor, gathering me into her arms. "Just breathe... Oh my God." Her shaking fingers run through my hair.

But I can't breathe. Not yet. My body won't let me do that, won't let me relax, until I'm fully able to digest what just happened with my father. He's changed, he admits he fucked up, he lo— I can't even fucking say. I can't even believe it. How could someone change that much, after all that time?

That man destroyed our family and when mom died, he didn't even fucking care. He didn't go to her funeral. When I first moved in with him, he never asked me about her. Never once. I never even heard him mention her until today.

After what feels like a few hours, but is only a couple of minutes, my breathing steadies out, my eyes dry up, and my vision becomes more clear. I haven't had a panic attack in years. Honestly not since my mom died and I found out I had to go live with my father again.

"Shit, Jace."

I blink a few times and realize I'm still in Loni's arms. I look up at her. Her poor little face is all red, tears leave streaks down her cheeks and her eyes are puffy.

"I'm okay," my voice is hoarse.

"Wh-what happened?"

"I'm sorry." I shake my head, trying to stand.

"Maybe you should just sit there for a second." Her voice is shaking. Fuck, I scared her and I hate myself for it.

I listen to her and don't get up off the floor. I lean my head back against the wall and draw in a slow breath. Chilled air fills my lungs and it fucking burns.

"What the hell happened?"

"Panic attack. I haven't had one in years."

"I know what that was. I'm talking about what happened in there." She points her finger in the air.

Thinking about it might just give me another panic attack. But Loni still has me wrapped up in her arms and I think that's enough to keep me stable.

My tongue toys with my teeth before I speak. "My dad always cheated on my mom. He made no effort to hide it. After years of torment, she finally divorced him and I was able to live with her." God, if I fucking cry again... I blink hard, keeping my eyes closed. "But she died and I was forced to live with him again. Being a single father didn't stop him from doing his usual bullshit. He hooked up with a new woman every single day. He didn't even notice that I was in the house." I really shouldn't be telling her this. "His tendencies rubbed off on me I guess because I brought home random girls all the time. I say it was to get his attention. But maybe it was just in my nature to be just like him. Even when I fucked up, he never cared. Never paid any attention."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah. Well, now he says that he's changed. He finally admits that he fucked up and that he lo—" Nope still can't say it. I shake my head. "I think it's too late. Too much damage has already been done."

"I'm so sorry," she says again. Probably at a loss for words considering what she just witnessed. "You are nothing like the man you described. You are kind, genuine." Steady fingers run through my hair now. She sighs. "Maybe he has changed. Maybe after all this time, he is trying to make a real effort with you."