Stella

It was four in the morning, my eyes burned and begged to close.

But if I were to go to bed, I wouldn't be able to sleep instead I would toss and turn. I didn't sleep at all last night knowing Maximus and others were against Carnellio.

There were times, moments when I lived my life, loving the life I was living. With my fiancé Max and his family who I am now considering my own, I have laughed more and felt more love then in my entire life. To be with Max, a man I love with my whole heart, is something I never thought I would have.

But then there are times when reality hits me like a truck. When I remember that he is in the Mafia, an underboss of a mafia. That he has killed people, that his family has killed people and they have even tortured people.

Romano was a teenager when he first tortured someone, a teenager! I may agree with him in the fact that I would never torture anyone. But as of this moment, my children will be the third and fourth in line for the Sorrentino Mafia.

They will grow up a part of this mafia. A part of a family that defends each other and will be a part of the business. Good and bad parts.

Why would I want to risk that for my children?

But how can I deny them of their family? Their blood?

I shook my head. I would never take them away from Max.

My Max.

The other part of my soul who last night went off to fight, and could have been returned to me in a body bag.

Fear. Sometimes it shuts people down other times it makes them think through everything that could happen to them. For me it's the fact, the terrify fact that I usually am able to block out of my mind; that every time Max leaves the house he can be killed.

I should be glad that he went after Carnellio tonight.

I should be glad that a man, who hurt me and haunts my dreams has been taken off the streets.

I should be glad that a man who causes so much death and destruction has been be taken down.

But I couldn't be.

Max had texted that he was safe, that he wasn't hurt but wouldn't be back tonight.

I did feel relief from that, that he was okay but it still didn't stop my mind.

A part of me is aware that I shouldn't feel bad for the men the Sorrentinos kill. That the Sorrentinos are good people, they fight for others and if they kill someone they deserved it. Yet it still didn't taste right in my mouth.

I shook my head, these were no thoughts for so early in this morning. These are thoughts that I will share with Max, who will remind me that he and others don't enjoy this part of their life.

Max is safe and the man who would kill me and my babies in a heartbeat is now locked up. We are safe.

Morals don't work in the real world, nothing is black and white. My family fights for those who cannot and that is more important than me still adjusting to this life.

I blew a breath and went back to flipping through the dress racks for inventory. Nothing really needs to be done, I just need to be doing something to keep myself busy and right now I don't want to do the taxes that I should do.

I groaned, rolling my shoulders and lightly stretching my back muscles. My feet hurt, my back hurt, every part of my body begged to be in bed right now. And I probably should be in bed, my stomach looked like I had swallowed three bowling balls based on the size of my twins.

But being in bed to spin these thoughts wouldn't do me any good. Instead to get some exercise and keep busy is the better option. I can have Max give me a bath later and a body message.

He can do that to make up from me worrying about him all night.

With that thought I took out my phone, a smile appearing on my face seeing the screen saver that was Max and I, a candid photo of us smiling at each other that Anthony took one night.

Opening up the phone I went to send Max a text, asking him when he would be free to make up for his absence. But the second I hit 'send' it bounced back, my brows drew together noticing that I had no service. That's weird, I always have service. I tried to send the message via WIFI but for some reason my WIFI wasn't working either.

Putting the phone in my back pocket a knot began to form in my stomach. I was quick to try to shove it away, I was putting myself in another worry session that I don't need to be in.

Max is safe and Carnellio is locked up.

Before I could move myself to another task, the door to the store opened abruptly.

Sebastian rushed into the room I was in, his face stone but there was something wild in his eyes.

"Sebastian?" I asked, a rush of concern flooding my body. I was used to him being light, joking but I forget that all of the men around me have a side to them. A side that is for surviving in the mafia world, and I have a feeling that I am going to start seeing his.

He reached my office desk, his hand picking up the wall phone. "Fuck. We need to go, now."

"What is wrong Sebastian?" I took even breaths to keep my panic at bay but something in his eyes told me to panic.

He started talking in rapid Italian, my mind trying to keep up but I have not been a good student trying to learn Italian... most of what I have learned was dirty talk for the bedroom.

"Sebastian!" I shouted to shut him up, his face turning to mine in silence. "I can't understand Italian so please speak in English so I know why you are freaking out."

The Italian swallowed and took a small step towards me. "Right now, we need to leave."

Fear spread over me, I struggled not to panic. "What is going on? Is Max okay?"

"My concern is with you. A few minutes ago, I noticed, there is no cell service, which would have been nothing if the wall phone wasn't down. Someone is using a jammer and cut the phone wires. We need to go." He said to me, his voice calm and low. Almost like the voice you would use to talk to a scared wild animal.

Terror washed over me, my body trying not to let it freeze me.

I nodded forcing myself to move, to get out of the store with him and back to the estate.

But I was too late. We were too late to figure out that something was wrong.

A roar sounded from outside the building and someone shouted.

There was a bang so deafening I couldn't even register what it was and I didn't have time. The building began to shake and when I turned to the store window to see what had happened, I saw bright lights coming towards me.

The glass from the windows and bricks of the building flew everywhere as a pressure of air flung me off my feet.

My body felt light then it slammed down hard onto the floor. Before I could take back the breath that was forced from my body, the walls shook and fell down.

I closed my eyes and took a breath feeling the impact that fell, trapping my body down.

There was a heavy weight on me, my eyes blinking rapidly to try and see but the dust kept them from seeing anything. My hands try to push whatever was on top of me but it was too heavy.

Someone was yelling my name but I couldn't speak, the weight on me prevented me from saying anything or breathing.

Things were slow around me.

My breaths seemed to take forever to grasp and my sight blurred at the edge. I couldn't feel my body, whether it was from the weight on-top of me or shock I wasn't sure; all I knew as that I couldn't move.

There was a sound of a gunshot and someone yelling. I wasn't sure what they were yelling and who was yelling, but voices were shouting all around me.

My mouth tried to open, a shout tried to come up my throat but my body wouldn't respond. Blackness began to dance around my vision and no matter how hard I tried to look around me, my eyes kept blurring.

My mind tried to force itself to stay awake but I couldn't hold onto anything.

Another gunshot went off, then everything went black.