Stella

Sighing I reached over to pick up another cannoli shell and slipped it into dip. I have been trying to sleep for hours and even in the warmth of Maximus's arm I couldn't find it.

We have been staying at the estate all week since Nanna's death, mostly because Max was working and also because I didn't want to go to his place where it felt empty.

"You should be careful." I jumped looking over to see Romano walking into the kitchen. "Anastasia can be territorial over what can be eaten and what shouldn't be."

Smiling softly, I turned the container with the cannoli dip around to show Romano the sticky with my name on it. "Looks like I got permission. When did you get back from the work trip?"

Romano grabbed an apple and sat down in front of me at the table. "Just now."

Glancing at the clock I gaped at him. "It's two in the morning."

He shrugged taking a bite of his apple "Night Owl. What's your excuse?"

It was my turn to shrug as I mixed the dip with a shell. "Couldn't sleep."

"I am sorry about your Nanna, sounded like she was a nice woman." He stated making me sigh.

Nodding I took a bite of food. "She is or was."

He tilted his head looking me over, that usual cold vibe gone but his face still was its signature blank. "You are taking it better than I thought you would."

Running my hand through my hair I nodded, my hand going to hold onto Max's ring that was always dangling around my neck. "I want to scream. God, all I want to do is go onto a hill and scream till I can't breathe anymore. She was the one constant in my life, I wouldn't be who I am without her."

Romano tilted his head "Then why don't you?"

I leaned into my chair. "Because what's the point? I could hate the world that she was taken from me before she met her great grandchildren. Before she saw me marry Maximus. Or I could focus on how the last years of her life was what she wanted. She got to travel, see the store was going to be fine without her and see me with someone I will spend the rest of my life with. So that's what I am doing, remembering that she died on her terms."

The room went quiet, the only sound was the hum coming from the house. Romano sighed putting his apple down. "I don't know if I could think that way."

Chuckling I pick up another cannoli and covered it with dip. "It takes years of being told your worthless to learn how to see the good of any situation. Trust me there was a 'I hate everything' time in my life, but Nanna helped me learn to see the world in a different way."

His lip quirked. "The grand theft auto?"

I rolled my eyes. "Pretty much. You have a spiral time in your life?"

"Underground bare-fist boxing." He stated. "That's how we met Tate, dam bastard beat me to a pulp in one fight. Lorenzo dragged me out after finding out what I was doing and offered Tate a job."

"Underground boxing?" I said looking him over. "I'm sure Lorenzo and Max gave you hell."

"Lorenzo started the mandatory therapy the next day." He smirked, his eyes focused on mine. "You seem different from when I first met you."

Moving my tongue over my teeth I lift my brow. "I feel different. Until Nanna said something about making sure I kept my tenderness I didn't recognize it. Now it seems so obvious and I don't know if it's good or bad. Has that ever happened to you? Where you just wake up one day and find you changed."

Romano looked me over before nodding to himself. "After I tortured someone for the first time I was told how cold I gotten."

"Tortured?" I asked carefully, I wanted to know about Romano but dam did these mafia boys go for the heavy shit fast. "How old were you?"

"Sixteen." He said without hesitation. I know I should be upset that he has tortured someone so young, but based on Maximus there would have been some reason. Right now, I was just pleased that he felt comfortable talking to me, telling me about himself. "It was when I found Anastasia, Lorenzo was going to take care of it but since I found her I claimed that it meant I should be in charge of the punishments."

The room went back to the hum of the house, my mind tried to think how to keep him talking. "Max never talks about how people come to the family, he says there are a range of situations and it's not his place."

"That's because Maximus puts everyone first, would never say something about what they go through in case it was private. Anastasia's story is how I officially changed. First time Lorenzo brought me out to a real op and not some bullshit one. We don't do the skin trade, fucking punish anyone who fucking does." Romano's voice grew an edge, the coldness in him back and it settled in the room. "We had gone to the shipping yard, I was checking some containers and when I opened them I found a few cages with girls in them. Five were dead but Anastasia was still breathing."

My hand went to my stomach as I felt the food I had just eaten threated to come up. "How could someone do that?"

Romano growled. "Power. Anastasia is from a Russian Mafia, she was sold to further the family. Knew it the second I saw the choker with the family's jewel around her neck. I brought her back and tortured the men for a year before letting them cross over the threshold. We all change in this life, if you didn't I wouldn't expect you to last."

My hand rubbed my children again as the kitchen hummed, the sound breaking when Romano chuckled. "I am saying its natural to change based on circumstance, not that you will be one to torture."

I chuckled nervously. "Sorry, heads all over the place from the past week. So how do you know, know when the line is near that changes you forever?"

He waved his hand dismissing my question. "Stella, you won't ever cross that line. You want to know what's different? Maybe you see things different, instead of being horrified I tortured someone you questioned those I did it too. You also hold yourself different, shoulders back to command a room. Your confident. But those are parts of you, you still have your core personality. That tenderness your Nanna mentioned and that won't change."

"So, my core is looking after others and being emotional. What is yours?" I asked carefully, this was the most Romano has ever said to me, I didn't want to push him.

"Justice." He bit out looking over my shoulder at the wall. Justice. Torturing someone who harmed a woman who was still innocent. Like his mother before she was killed.

I took a sip of water, enjoying this time with Romano. Tonight, I actually feel like I am getting to know him and I could be a part of this family.

"He fears you will walk away from." Romano said making my eyes snapping to his. "He thinks you will decide you are better than this life, which you are, and walk out of his. That you and your kid will want a safer world where you won't worry about him, your life, your kid's life or even about Maximus traveling for work."

I stared, my eyes wide. "What? Did I make him feel that way?"

Romano shook his head. "Of course not, he knows you love him. I just wanted to make sure you know that he has that fear. To remind him you won't walk away, that you are a part of his family."

I smiled and nodded. "I'd never leave him. He's my family and when he is with me, all that stuff doesn't matter. I won't deny it's hard when he leaves and could come back in a body bag, but what is life without those we love?"

A pang hit my chest when I remembered that Nanna won't be spending any more days with me.

Fidgeting with the Sorrentino ring around my neck, I took a chance with Romano. "I am sorry if this is bold." I started slowly. "But I want to say that I am sorry, for what happened to your Mother. The way Max talks about her she sounded wonderful."

Romano stilled, his eyes slowly return to my face. I felt my body tense under his gaze as he said nothing for a very, very long moment that had me wondering if I just blew any chance of getting close to him.

I began to rub the ring between my fingers when he still hadn't said anything, the hum of the kitchen sounding louder and louder at every second. "She'd approve of you."

My whole body froze, my lip began to quiver and tears welled in my eyes. "You think so?"

In any situation it would have been comedic how the cold stone-faced Romano had his eyes jumping out of his socket. "Fuck. Don't cry."

A growl at the entrance of the kitchen made me turn to see Max walk in, glaring at his younger brother. "What the fuck you say to her?"

I waved my hand to Max to tell him it was fine. Smiling to my man as he stood beside me, his hand moving to caress my cheek wiping off my tears while I tried to get my stupid emotions under control to talk.

Romano recovered from his shock and his face was back to being stone. "Didn't do anything, was having a simple conversation then she began to cry."

Taking Max's hand, he moved his other up and down my spine while I smiled up at him. "I'm fine just pregnancy hormones." It wasn't, the thought that his mother would approve of me means more than I could ever hope.

We hadn't told anyone about the twins or their names, wanting to wait for their birth. But Romano saying that, made me want to tell him my daughter's.

"Romano?" Max bit out making me sigh, wanting the talk between his brother and I to have gone on a bit longer.

The younger brother stood up from the table and looked at me. "I told her mom would approve."

With that Romano turned and walked out of the room. Leaving Max and I in the kitchen alone, my ears familiar with the hum.

My gaze went up to Max, his eyes soft. "She really would have loved you."

I smiled, my heart warming at the confirmation. "You haven't spoken about her since I first asked."

Max blew a breath. "It's hard. When she died, it was a painful time for our family. Wounds that never healed for some of us. But my mother, she was an amazing woman, an amazing mother. I miss her every day and wish she could have met you."

I leaned against him. "Does it get easier?"

Max took a deep breath. "At first, you will think of pieces of you that is missing. Then one day, you will think of them and you might smile, the pain of them no longer around less than the day before."

Taking a deep breath, I sighed. Max's hand still going up and down my spine. He leaned over kissing my temple. "Come, let's go back to bed, if you aren't tired then I can think of a few ways to get you sleepy."

I snorted.

Max led me back to our room, my body curled up with his. Sleep never came but the safety from his presence surrounded me, giving me the peace, I craved.