Finn

I stand and watch until the car holding my life has faded from view. Titan whines and let's out an ear shattering howl of despair. I can't blame him. He's been telling me to listen to Calli. To pay more attention to our surroundings. I just thought he was acting like a love sick fool. If I had listened, Layla wouldn't have gone through that trauma and Calli wouldn't have had to relive hers.

I'm such an idiot.

I shift back to my skin and sit on the snow covered ground, still completely naked. My body is racked with sobs as I rock back and forth. I'm not sure if my extreme emotional reaction is purely mine, or if I'm feeling a sliver of the agony that Calli is going through.

I would take it all from her if I could.

I know I should get up, that frostbite will set in if I'm not careful, but I don't have the motivation. Part of me hopes if I sit here long enough, she'll come back. She'll come back and see that I sat here and waited. That I refused to give up. On her, on us. I'll never give up.

My mind flits from one thing to the next. How can I make this up to her? How can I show her how sorry I am? How can she ever forgive me? I'm not sure I could, if I were put into the same situation. She never should have had to go through that shitshow the first time, but to face it and kill the man?

Fuck, she must be a mess.

I should be there with her, I know I should. Holding her, giving her my strength and letting her know it'll all be ok. But she doesn't want me. I'm the one person she wants the least.

God, the look on her face when she told me not to touch her. It felt like being stabbed in the chest with a hot blade. Our bond feels shattered, barely a fragmant of it holding on.

I don't know how long I sit there before I hear the crunch of car tires come to a stop next to me and an idling engine, but I don't bother to look up. I keep my face in my hands as tears pour from my eyes.

"Finn!" I look up and meet Cam's hard eyes.

He's pissed at me too.

Well join the fucking club.

"What?" I snap at him, narrowing my eyes.

"I'm taking Penny to Calli’s house. Are you coming?" Titan's ears perk up and he pushes forward, trying to take control.

He's desperate for our mate.

"How do you know she's there?" He shrugs and looks over at Penny before looking at me.

"We don't for sure. It's just Penny’s best guess. She needs us Finn. Get your ass in the car." I shake my head and look down at my feet, my toes are numb and an ugly shade of pink.

"She doesn't want me there, Cam. She hates me." I say quietly. Cam huffs and gets out of the car.

He grabs my bicep and pulls me up before shoving me into the backseat and throwing a pair of shorts at me.

"I can't say I blame her if she does." Cam says. "But she needs her friends and her mate. It's not good for her to be alone right now." All I do is nod as I slip on the shorts and feel the ache of my muscles thawing out.

Penny sniffles a few time and Cam reaches over to hold her hand.

"She'll be ok. We'll take care of her." He whispers quietly and she nods while squeezing his hand.

Seeing their connection makes my heart ache for Calli. I want to be the one to comfort her like that. We pull up in front of Calli’s house and I let out a sigh of relief when I see my car in her driveway. The light is on in the back of the house, so I know she's in her bedroom. I open the door and hop out of the car before Cam has even parked it. I bound up the stairs when I hear Penny yell for me.

"Finn! Wait! Let me see her first." She says apologetically and I nod, letting her slip in the door before me.

I walk in and the familiar smell of Calli’s home punches me in the gut. It's not as strong as it used to be, but memories of our first few months together come flooding back. The stolen kisses, shy lingering looks, introducing her to Cam, getting rid of that raccoon with Ian. My heart hurts at the thought of how happy we were together, and what I'd do to get it back.

Penny slips into Calli’s room and I hear the shower running. She opens the bathroom door and Calli’s sobs hit my ears. I rub my chest to dissipate some of the pain that the sound causes.

"I'm gonna check around the house, make sure it's safe." Camden says sadly before disappearing out the front door.

I sit on the couch and listen to Penny trying to soothe Calli. She has shut off the water and I hear her fumbling around the bedroom, probably looking for something for her to wear.

"Fuck." She mutters quietly and I go to stand in the doorway.

Calli must still be in the bathroom, because I don't see her anywhere.

"All she has to wear here is one of your shirts." I nod in understanding.

"I can run back to the house and get her something." I offer but Penny shakes her head.

"It's fine, we can get her something later. I think you should stay in case she needs you." I nod and hear Calli crying quietly from the other room. It takes every ounce of my willpower not to go to her.

"Did she ask for me?" I ask Penny and she shakes her head.

"She hasn't said anything. She's pretty upset. Can you get her something to drink?" She asks and I hurry to the kitchen. Luckily she left her glasses here and I fill one up. Most of her kitchen things she left, reminding me of the little stand off we had about her mixer.

I put the glass of water on the nightstand and go back into the living room where Cam has just entered, his nose and cheeks bright from the frigid air.

"Everything's fine." He says as he sits next to me.

"Thanks." I say my voice hoarse. He nods and pats my back. The unexpected sentiment makes my resolve crack and fresh tears to sting my eyes.

"Even though we're all upset by what happened, I know no one is going to be harder on you than yourself." He says. "Try not to beat yourself up too much. Calli needs you." He rubs my back again and I nod, taking deep breaths to calm myself.

I have no right to cry. Calli and Layla are the ones that have been through hell tonight and that is, at least partly, my fault. I don't know how long we sit there in silence before Penny comes out of Calli’s room with a tired sigh.

"She's asleep." She says as she goes to sit on Cam's lap. He grips her tightly and kisses her cheek before standing and carrying her towards the guest room.

"Let me know if she wakes up." Penny says and I nod as they close the door behind them.

I lay on the couch and toss and turn a few times but sleep evades me. I know I'm exhausted, but I can't stop my brain from running a hundred miles an hour. I don't know how much later it is when I hear Calli whimper. I wait a moment, thinking she might fall back asleep, but then she starts to cry.

"Finn! Finn, please." She cries out and she sounds terrified.

I rush into her room and she's thrashing on the bed, her eyes still closed and I realize she's having a nightmare. I'm torn on what to do. I want to hold her and soothe her, but it feels wrong to do that while she's asleep, knowing she might not want me to. I decide to shift and let Titan comfort her. As far as I know she's not pissed at him. I climb onto her bed in my fur and lick her cheek before nuzzling her neck. She reaches for me and wraps her arms around my neck, rubbing her face against my fur. She slides her fingers into my fur and tightens her grip before her breathing evens out and her cries dissipate. She sighs a few times before scooting closer to me. I wrap myself around her body as best I can. Her warmth spreads through me and I relax enough to fall into a fitful sleep.