Calli

Two weeks.

It had been two weeks since I broke down in front of Finn. And I still hadn’t gotten up the nerve to talk to him. Not that he didn’t try. Oh yes, he tried. Every day. He called, texted, sent flowers and, on one particularly exciting occasion, he sent me an entire key lime pie. How he knew it was my favorite, I have no idea.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him. I did. I really did. I was just so embarrassed I didn’t even know how to begin the conversation. For some reason ‘Every time you touch me it brings back memories of being abused by my ex-boyfriend’ didn’t seem like it would be a great conversation started.

This was starting to piss off Penny who, all of a sudden turned hard core team Finn. Not that I could blame her. I was team Finn too. I mean even if he wasn’t gorgeous, and sweet and smelled amazing he was kind and gentle. And thoughtful. He sent me a whole freaking pie! I really should have called him after the pie. On cue, my phone rang.

Finn. Again.

Before I could think about it, I answered.

“Hello?” I heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone.

“Calli? Is that you?” I giggled a little and started to pace around my small living room.

“Well, yeah. Did you not mean to call me?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t expect you to answer.”

Um… ok?

“Wait!” Finn yells. “That didn’t come out right. I’m thrilled you answered.”

Cue the awkward silence. Finn clears his throat before continuing.

“Can I come over? Please? I want to talk to you.” I feel my eyes filling with tears. This sweet man still wants to talk to me after what I put him through. He must have felt so unwanted, so small. I could imagine because I had been made to feel that way myself and the guilt of making someone else feel that was starting to gnaw at me.

“Yes, I’d like that.” I respond quietly.

“Right now?” He asked hopefully. I couldn’t help but giggle. His eagerness is so endearing.

“Sure.” I answer with a nod I realize too late that he can’t see.

“Great! I’ll be there soon.”

He hangs up and I change into something more presentable and try to clean up my house a little. I’m not a slob, but I’m definitely one of those people who gets most of my cleaning done in the ten minutes before someone comes over. Before I know it there’s a knock on the door and I open it to reveal a very rough looking Finn. His clothes are crumpled, he has dark circles under his eyes and looks like he may have lost some weight. I don’t want to flatter myself thinking little old me is the cause of his drastic change in appearance, but I certainly wouldn’t mind helping to lift his spirit. Without warning, I chuck myself into his arms.

God bless him, he doesn’t miss a beat. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him tightly. He carries me into the house and sits down on the couch with me in his lap. He lowers his head into my neck, breathing me in like I’m the first bit of fresh air he’s had in days. Neither one of us say anything. We only sit and hold onto each other like we never want to let go.

“I missed you, sweetheart.” He whispers so low I can barely hear him.

“I missed you too, Finn. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you.” He runs his fingers through my hair and places gentle kisses in my hair and along my forehead.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like I was pushing you further than you were ready to go.” He murmurs into my hair while trailing his fingers along my back. I feel the sparks I’ve been missing for weeks and take a moment to savor them.

“It’s not your fault, Finn. I wanted you. It’s just... my past. It’s sad. And complicated. And difficult to talk about.”

He tightens his hold on me and I get the sense it is a protective movement, like he wants to shield me from my own memories. The move touches somewhere deep in my soul. A part of me I thought had died. A part that the monster killed.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, sweetheart. Just know I’m here and I’ll never hurt you.” He lifts his eyes to meet mine and the depth of his sincerity nearly knocks the wind out of me. Something inside of me clicks into place and I know, beyond any doubt, that this man will always take care of me.

“Thank you, Finn. Thank you for being so understanding. And thank you for the pie. How’d you know it was my favorite?” He flashes me a cocky grin and kisses the top of my head before leaning down to whisper in my ear.

“Penny has been very helpful.” His breath tickles my ear and I shudder in his arms. He lowers his face into my neck again and traces gentle kisses up to my jaw.

“She’s the best friend a girl could have.” I murmur as I close my eyes and tilt my head to give him more access for his gentle assault.

“Sweetheart. Could you do me a favor?” He continues his kisses as his hands run up and down my back in a soothing motion. It’s so distracting I can only hum a “mh-hm” in response.

“Can we go lay in your bed? I haven’t gotten shit for sleep since that night and I think you may have turned me into a snuggle slut.”

I tilt my head back and laugh a full belly laugh I haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing since the last time Finn was here. I look into his eyes, shining bright with amusement.

“God, I missed your smile.” He reaches out to cup my cheek with his hand and I can’t control myself any longer. I lean forward to close the distance between us and press a gentle, yet firm kiss to his soft, warm lips. I pull away quickly, not wanting to deepen the kiss just yet. I’m not sure I’m ready for that, but hoping the kiss conveys my hope that someday soon I would be. I begin to climb off of his lap when Finn tightens his grip on me a little and pouts out his lip.

“Where are you going?” He whines more than asks.

“To my bedroom. Come on snuggle slut.” I giggle and try to climb off of him again when he picks me up and begins to carry me.

“You never have to walk again, sweetheart. I will carry you everywhere forever.” He murmurs as he nuzzles my head and breathes in my scent again.

“Why are you smelling me?” I ask him as he sets me on the bed carefully. He shrugs like it’s not a weird thing to do.

“You smell good.” He grins at me as he climbs under my covers. He pulls me into him, resting my head on his shoulder and I throw my leg over his thigh, burrowing deep into his side. I take a deep breath myself, enjoying his masculine scent.

“You smell good too.” He chuckles as he holds me, kissing my forehead again before I hear his breathing even out, lulling me into my own deep sleep.