Song inspiration: Kill Em' With Kindness (Acoustic) Selena Gomez

I woke the next morning to the feeling of fingertips ghosting along my spine. Evelyn's calloused fingertips spread a trail of fire across my skin. Her palm splayed across my back as I shifted, a shiver working its way through my muscles.

I didn't want to even think about what I looked like, hair messy from our shower, eyes all puffy and red from crying. But I found that when I met Evelyn's eyes, it didn't matter. Her soft fingers brushed the hair back from my face, her palm molding to my cheek perfectly.

"Good morning, draga inima." She murmured softly.

I couldn't help but stare at her, my gaze traveling from her soft lips to her strong cheekbones to her delicate shoulders and slender waist. She truly was perfect. Whatever did I do to deserve her?

My eyelids fluttered closed as her lips pressed against mine, ghosting. I grabbed her cheeks and kissed her back, hard. Ezekiel was heavy on my body and mind and I needed something real, something pure, to hold onto. I nearly moaned when her fingers gripped my hips and tugged me to her as she sat on my thighs. She kissed me without abandon. She was a storm and I was the cellar. She was breaking me apart piece by piece.

My fingers traveled into her hair and gripped the soft strands, brushing against the scarred tissue of the word sinner, that had been branded into her scalp. Her lips brushed my throat as I tilted my head to the side to give her better access. Her name fled my lips in a symphony of soft sighs and inhalation of breath. I just couldn't get enough of her.

Our chests barely touched, the small amount of friction leaving my body a twitching mess as I fought to control myself. I was so aroused it was almost painful. Her fingers splayed hotly against my skin, calloused but soft at the same time. I could feel my body instinctively molding into her hand.

"Evelyn." I murmured, blinking to dispel the haze from my brain as reality descended onto my world once again.

Her forehead touched mine, her warm breath fanning my face. "Can I ask you a question?" Her eyes narrowed intently on mine.

I plowed on before she could answer. "Do you think I should allow Ezekiel's parents to meet their granddaughter?"

A low sigh escaped her mouth as her fingertips traced my jaw. Her eyes were guarded as she looked back at me, a muscle in her jaw ticking. "As much as I would like to give you an answer, I don't have one for you, my love." Her palm molded to my cheek. My lips trembled as I fought back the frustration and anger that raged inside me like a dormant storm. I had to remember all the times that I was there, in that house, locked up in Ezekiel's room with him inside me while they were down stairs watching tv.

I remembered specifically when Mrs. Graham had walked in and found me struggling to put on my torn clothes. She seemed not to notice the blossoming purple bruise on my jaw or the blank dead look in my eyes as I walked straight past her. How she'd grabbed my arm and told me to be careful unless I wanted to get sent back through the system.

Screwing your foster brother was not allowed.

If only they could see that I wasn't screwing him back.

I shook my head, trying to dispel the awful memories. "They were right there. The whole fucking time. Evelyn, they knew what he was doing to me. They fucking knew. And they didn't care." Angry tears fell down my cheeks. I swiped at them.

"I know."

"Why?" I asked quietly. "I don't understand what I did. Why didn't they save me? I begged so many times and they refused to listen. Who does that? How can they expect me to allow them anywhere near my daughter after what they allowed that monster to do to me?" My voice trembled with rage.

A sad smile turned up the corners of Evelyn's mouth as she gazed at me. "They chose not to believe it, so they didn't see it. They're his parents, Scout. Could you imagine having to deal with a child with such a severe mental illness? The need to make them happy would've driven them mad. Who knows what he's done to his own parents." Her fingers pressed into my cheeks as she forced me to look at her. "As for you, you did nothing wrong. I will not stand for this self-blame anymore. You are mine and I am yours and we are survivors. We are Evelyn and Scout. So let's be you and me."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting everything she'd said sink into my brain.

"Okay."

She smiled at me, and it washed away all my fear and bad memories. Her lips pressed against my forehead as she wiped away my tears. "You have a doctors appointment today so we will be driving into the city whenever we get up and ready. My," she stumbled, "mother, will be taking care of Charlotte. She said she needed someone to keep her company while she gardened."

A smile lifted my mouth as I pictured Char up to her arms in dirt. "She'll love that." I sighed, once again feeling weight lifting off my shoulders. Charlotte was my responsibility, yes, but sometimes it doesn't hurt to be reminded that I'm only 19.

"I love that smile." She teased, a smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Heat flushed my cheeks and instead of turning away, I kissed her. Her weight was lovely, every inch of us was pressed together. With a bold and playful move, I tugged her bottom lip into my mouth. She gave a half-laugh half-gasp, and kissed me back even harder.

Our tongues tangled together, her fingers gripped my hair. My hips instinctively moved against her, causing an answering groan to tumble from Evelyn's mouth. "You're killing me." She breathed, looking down at me as she brushed a stray hair out of my face.

I chewed my lip softly, gazing up at her through half-lidded eyes. She sucked in a breath and bent down again, pressing her lips to mine for a brief moment. "Come on," she said as she climbed off of me. "If we stay here for one more moment, we will never leave the bed."

I pouted but moved to follow her, wondering what was so bad about staying in the bed.

"Are we there yet?" I asked for the millionth time.

Evelyn shot me a sharp glare, the corners of her mouth turned down in a fierce frown. "Ask me that one more time." She growled threateningly.

I fought down the urge to giggle because it hurt my stomach too much. I found that Evelyn was absolutely adorable when she was mad. Her eyebrows furrowed inward and she had this lip twitch thing that I loved.

She just shot me a look and moved her eyes back to the road, her thumb moving in soft circles over my knuckles. I glanced down at her hand and caught sight of something that I had never noticed before; a scar spanning from her wrist to her elbow. It was faded and blended well with her skin, but it was clear and precise. It dawned on me what it was, and tears immediately formed in my eyes. She stiffened slightly when my finger traced the line. It must've been very deep, the line was still slightly raised.

"I was 19 when I did that." She didn't look at me as she spoke, but her fingers tightened around mine.

"You don't have to explain." I understood what it was like to have to deal with the physical and mental pain of being violated in such a way. Physical pain goes away, but mental pain takes years.

She sighed. "Yes I do. I had no right to decide to take my life. No right." She almost snarled. Her anger shocked me for a second, and I didn't know what to say. As much as I had wished for my time with Ezekiel to end, I would've never taken my own life. I suppose I have Charlotte to thank for that. Evelyn had no one who would understand, which made it all the harder to let people in.

"I think," I paused for a second as I searched for the right wording. "That you are being too hard on yourself. What you went through was horrific. I'm not condoning your choice, but it's understandable. You have to forgive yourself too, Evelyn. You couldn't possibly have held that high of standards for yourself in that situation." She squeezed my hand, watery grey eyes meeting mine.

"You're right." She whispered.

I winked back at her. "Naturally."

She scoffed and we laughed, the atmosphere becoming lighter. Although I understood, this new revelation had me thinking what my life would've been like if I'd never met Evelyn, and I found myself tightening my hold on her as we drove further away from our new home.

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