The first time I saw my daughter after she was born, I thought to myself, she looks nothing like him. But as she continued to grow, she clearly started to develop into his nose, his eye-shape, parts of him were scattered throughout her small body but thankfully never straying into her mind. I never hated Charlotte or blamed her for her fathers misdeeds. She may look like him but she was nothing like him. So why was it, that Antionette Graham was calling me up five years later, just now interested in seeing their beloved granddaughter?

My knuckles turned white with fury as I replayed every scenario in my head of my time in their house. Every time I screamed for his enjoyment. His laughter rang through my head as the phone slipped through my fingers, breaking open as he shattered me into pieces.

My chest heaved with air, my head bowed over the bathroom sink. Slowly, I raised my head to look at the girl in the mirror. Her eyes were wild with panic, madness, sickness. A soft knock came at the door; Evelyn of course.

"Can I come in?" I admired the fact that she didn't ask me if I was okay. Everyone already knew I wasn't when I threw up the glorious dinner we'd made.

"Please." My voice was scratchy and hoarse from screaming at the woman on the other side of the state. Evelyn slowly opened the door, no rushing in her movements which calmed my insanity greatly. She took one look at my face; a ruined mess of mascara and lipstick and eye-makeup, and started the shower.

I tried not to shudder as she unraveled me, removing me of the sweatshirt and jeans I wore until I stood in front of her in my granny panties and plain nude bra. There was no sexual purpose when she placed her lips to my shoulder as she reached around to undo my bra. I just let her take care of me, to busy with trying to stay part of this world to do anything about my physical state.

I shivered, but it didn't last long as steam built up the room. I could feel her fingertips on my hip bones now, her eyes on me for acceptance. "Take it off." I gasped, tears slipping down my cheeks as pain rippled through my body. She did, nearly tearing the fabric before she scooped me into her arms and stepped into the shower with me, fully clothed.

"Your clothes!" I protested. She shh'd me and closed her eyes, her head in the spray of the water.

"Take them off for me?" I stilled, my heart beating fast in my chest as my fingers brushed her black shirt. She didn't move, just waiting for me. I trailed my hand down to the ends of her shirt and pulled it over her head, admiring the skin that bunched before me. With each article of clothing that I removed, removed a little more of my pain and restored to me what was reality.

Then her bare chest was pressed against mine and her face was in my hair, my neck. Her lips were on my skin, her fingertips at the small of my back. I inhaled, she breathed out. Our heartbeats synchronized, our bodies memorizing each other.

"When does it end?" I cried, shaking in her arms. "I don't want to see him anymore. I don't want him in my head. But he's there, still playing with my mind, still torturing me, inside me. When will it end? With me?" Evelyn didn't respond right away, but her silver eyes met mine, sending clouds of love to push away the storm clouds above my head.

"Yes, with you. The day you decided to keep that baby girl out there, the day you decided to let me kiss you, the day you let me buy you ice cream even though it drove you nuts. Those days are yours. He didn't make those." Her soft spoken words soothed my aching soul but my body still suffered. I couldn't stop the cries from rocking my body, as memories fled through my brain. Logically, I knew what this was. I knew that I was trying to let him go, that my body was trying to dispel him, memories of him. But my mind couldn't seem to understand.

"It will get better, the more you realize that when you stand in the shower, you don't have to be alone. When you feel them all over you, when they invade your dreams you will realize that you have what they never will; love." Her strong arms pulled me to her, her lips dripping with tears, reminding me that Evelyn understood this pain. "You are real. You have people who love you, who would die for you." I realized something then; if Ezekiel was a monster to me, then what was he like to his parents?

My sobs quieted underneath the hot spray. The thing I loved most about Evelyn is she let me pull myself out of my own pain. She never coddled me or babied me. She knew I was capable and she never made me feel otherwise. "I love you, dragă." Those three words fled from her lips and raced into my own as my fingertips cupped her cheeks. Our bodies were slick with water, our hair was tangled together.

I tasted water in her mouth. "Come to bed with me?" I didn't hesitate in nodding my head. We took our time washing our hair and shaving. Evelyn helped me and stayed in even when the water grew cold. The cold smear of toothpaste on my teeth was the final step I needed to bring myself back. Evelyn's grey eyes shot through me as toothpaste dribbled down her chin. I giggled and she pulled a funny face back at me. We finished up and wrapped ourselves in towels as we moved to exit the bathroom.

"Mama!" I instantly heard and with a smile I faced my little girl. She touched my hair and her soft features melted into annoyance as she flicked the water away. "Ew." I chuckled, messing up her hair. "Come on squirt, let's get you ready for bed."

~

Rain pattered on the window but it was masked by the sound of Evelyn's smooth voice as she read to our daughter. I recognized the story but never had anyone to read it to me. I listened quietly, smiling at the sound of Charlotte's soft giggles.

"There was once a Prince who wished to marry a Princess; but then she must be a real Princess. He travelled all over the world in hopes of finding such a lady; but there was always something wrong. Princesses he found in plenty; but whether they were real Princesses it was impossible for him to decide, for now one thing, now another, seemed to him not quite right about the ladies. At last he returned to his palace quite cast down, because he wished so much to have a real Princess for his wife.

One evening a fearful tempest arose, it thundered and lightened, and the rain poured down from the sky in torrents: besides, it was as dark as pitch. All at once there was heard a violent knocking at the door, and the old King, the Prince's father, went out himself to open it.

It was a Princess who was standing outside the door. What with the rain and the wind, she was in a sad condition; the water trickled down from her hair, and her clothes clung to her body. She said she was a real Princess.

"Ah! we shall soon see that!" thought the old Queen-mother; however, she said not a word of what she was going to do; but went quietly into the bedroom, took all the bed-clothes off the bed, and put three little peas on the bedstead. She then laid twenty mattresses one upon another over the three peas, and put twenty feather beds over the mattresses.

Upon this bed the Princess was to pass the night.

The next morning she was asked how she had slept. "Oh, very badly indeed!" she replied. "I have scarcely closed my eyes the whole night through. I do not know what was in my bed, but I had something hard under me, and am all over black and blue. It has hurt me so much!"

Now it was plain that the lady must be a real Princess, since she had been able to feel the three little peas through the twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. None but a real Princess could have had such a delicate sense of feeling.

The Prince accordingly made her his wife; being now convinced that he had found a real Princess. The three peas were however put into the cabinet of curiosities, where they are still to be seen, provided they are not lost.

Wasn't this a lady of real delicacy?"

"I bet she was very pretty like you, or mommy. Are you guys princesses?" Char bounced up and down on the bed in excitement. Evelyn shot me a smirk and leaned down to stage whisper in her ear.

"Well, your momma isn't a princess. She's my queen." Char gasped, her hands going to her mouth as she slowly turned to face me. "Mommy! You never told me you were a queen! This means I have to go away for princess training." Her little shoulders slumped.

I could barely hold in my laughter as I climbed into the bed after turning off the light. "That's right my princess, but first you have to get a good nights sleep. A princess can't go to training without a full nights sleep!" I could tell she was tired, the excitement of the story was wearing off as she snuggled into my side. I don't know how she did it, but Evelyn managed to hold us both. Her lips brushed my temple, curving in a smile.

"I love my moms." Char breathed as she fell into sleep. Tears pricked my eyes, but this time they were tears of happiness. "Could this be our future?" I asked her as she twirled shapes onto my skin in the darkness.

"This is our future." She replied, her grey eyes shining back at me, weaving a promise, a dedication to me. I knew she would do everything in her power to give me that future, so I told myself that night that I would to everything in my power to let Ezekiel Graham go.

He had no power in my life.

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