"Wait.... So you are telling me that you don't want to continue with law school?" Sam asks with disbelief in her voice.

I nod as a response, putting a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth. The ice cream melts on my tongue, and a moan almost escapes my mouth as the flavors meet my taste buds.

"But why?" Sam questions, and I can hear the curiousty in her voice, which makes me sigh. I turn around, looking her in the eyes. I can see the sadness in her eyes, as I give her the really look.

"I just told you what happened," I roll my eyes at her, putting another scope of ice cream in my mouth.

I told Sam about what happened to me in the past few weeks, from my internship, to the voices that I hear. But I did manage to hide my client's identity; I just told her that he is a dangerous man, who is so dangerous, he even managed to steal my heart. I also told her about wanting to quit law school. The thought of quitting has been in my head for a while, and I know that I have lost the confidence and determination I started with.

"I know that you told me, but I can't believe you want to quit.... You always wanted to be a lawyer, so what changed?"

"A lot changed.... and I realized that law isn't for me," I murmur the last part, turning my eyes back to the tv, my focus on the tv series Two and a half Men.

Sam sighs, and I can feel her eyes at the side of my head. I turn to look at her, offering her a small smile, before turning back to the tv.

"You have my support, bu-"

"Thank you," I interrupt, not wanting to hear a lecture, which is coming in a few seconds.

"Don't interrupt me when I am speaking," Sam says, slapping my arm, which makes me place my hand up, giving her the middle finger and also showing my tongue at her.

"Idiot," Sam mutters, but I manage to hear her.

"Fool," I say, loud enough for her to hear. Sam scoffs, slapping the back of my head. "Only a fool can do that," I murmur, continuing with my ice cream, as I watch High school musical, Two and a half men must have ended when Sam and I were arguing.

"You act like a bitch to me," Sam says with a baby voice, and I nod at her.

"I know," I reply, grabbing a cookie from the table. Sam and I ordered some more food, which I do not regret; even though I feel a food baby forming. "But that's because I love you... You my baby sister, who was born two months before me," I continue, and I can hear a giggle from Sam, which makes me smile.

"That's true, big sis," Sam says, as we both begin to laugh. The room becomes silent as both Sam and I focus on the tv, but the silence is broken by Sam, who decides to ask me a question.

"But you aren't a quitter, what really changed your mind?" Sam questions, her voice turning serious.

My instincts tell me to lie, but a small part of me tells me to tell the truth. I begin a debate with myself, not knowing what to do or say. Lying is easy, but my conscious will guilt trap me till I say the truth. I also know that Sam will annoy me till I tell the truth, the girl can see right through my lies.

"Because I am too weak," I murmur, turning to look at her. I can see the surprise in her eyes, sadness suppresses the surprise, though.

I know her like the back of my hand, and I can see the emotions that she gives off.

"What do you mean you are weak?" Sam asks, fear is evident in her voice, while her face shows confusion.

"I meant what you heard.... I am weak," I begin. "I was a fool for thinking that I can be a lawyer. I can't even get my own voice to shut up, and I actually thought I would help lives, I was a fool." I say chewing on the cookie.

"I also have anxiety, and I can't do shit without worrying. And I also realized that I am a weak idiot, who can't even save herself," I huff, as Sam turns the volume down.

"So, you want to quit because of your mental health?" Sam asks with uncertainty, and I nod at her.

I can see sadness in Sam's eyes, and I know that she knows how strong the voice is She knows how much control the small voice has over me.

Sam was there when I found out about Eric, and she told me to leave him, she told me that he was too old for me. Sam warned me about Eric, and she also told me that I needed more time to grow before I could date the guy.

But I did not listen, I even accused her of being jealous, something that I still regret. I wish I listened to her.

Sam lifts her hand up, placing it on my face, and proceeding to wipe the tears that managed to escape my eyes.

"Don't cry," She has plead in her voice, her voice cracking. "You know how I get when you cry,"

Sam and I have known each other for years, and we are like sisters. We laugh, smile, cry, argue, and do all kinds of sister things together. And it actually pains me that I stayed away from her for so long.

"Siara, you aren't weak," Sam begins, placing her other hand on top of mine. "You are so strong, and I admire how strong you are. Don't let that voice mislead you.... I know that my words won't do much, because that small voice you hear has more control over you. You always said you wanted to help people. You always said that you wanted to be the reason someone smiles..... Fight this battle, and don't let your thoughts ruin it for you. You are so strong, and you are a warrior. Check your faith, and believe that you can fulfil that dream. Be that girl that doesn't let anyone's bullshit affect her." Sam says, as tears drop from both our eyes.

I smile in her direction as tears roll down my cheeks. Emptiness and sadness are the only emotions I feel.

"But I lost my faith. The light that helps me is becoming dim, and I am afraid that I will be in darkness very soon.... And I want to believe, but I can't believe in something that is already dead. I am a shadow of myself; my body lives, but my soul is dead." I say to her, as I wipe the tears, chuckling to myself. "I feel emptiness, and even though I smile, I still feel a burden on my shoulders, and I don't even know why it is there. I want to be grateful for everything I have, but it seems like it isn't for me. I am working to fulfil my dreams, but I feel like I am living for someone else. I wait for the day I will die, because sometimes the pain is too much for me to handle. I look on every single day, and I see people graduating and getting their dream jobs and shit, and I begin to doubt if I will even make it to see next year. I feel like I will drop dead any day from now, and it's crazy how I wait for that day."

The room is filled with sobs as I finish speaking, Sam throws her arms around me, pulling me in her arms as her body shakes. I want to tell her to not cry, to be strong because I do not deserve her tears.

But I stay silent, enjoying the comfort that comes from the hug. I feel like I am not alone, and I do not want to ruin the little peace I feel.

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

DID YOU CRY? My eyes hurt, and a few tears dropped.

I think I like the chapter, but I don't know:-(

Be safe and happy ❤️ 🤗😘