A pale pink color washed over the scene in front of me, highlighting everything with the disgustingly girly color for a fraction of a second. It disoriented me, causing my vision to blink with blotches if black, white, and a few colors I didn't even know existed. For a split second I thought I had entered the Matrix, but it seemed that it had been a slight delusion- possibly from the fall, or maybe because I'm scatterbrained as-is. I blinked, my vision returning to normal and pink glow only surrounding the Horn of Cernunnos. I recognized it only vaguely, for our group had retrieved on some mission into a hellhole of a town. It was a long time ago- and I may or may not be mispronouncing the name- so my memory is a bit cloudy.

All the same, I turned to find that both Hawk and Ban were standing in front of the great horn, staring at its mystifying pink glow. It is said to be able to communicate with the goddesses, or be a vessel for a goddess herself. They were interesting theories, but you could say that the goddesses weren't overly fond of me or my kind, so I could care less.

She says, as she proceeds internally nerd out at the thought being able to communicate with a goddess.

Geez, I'm a dork.

ANYWAY. Back to the shiz.

Ban and Hawk stood in front of the horn, staring up at it. It seemed that none of them had noticed my falling, which was peculiar, since I let out a particularly loud screech, and, y'know, almost the entirety of the ceiling of this room had collapsed.

"Would you really take a demoness like her over a saint? Is that truly what you wish for in life?" The goddess's words made me stop in my tracks, sitting in the rubble of the destroyed ceiling as I stared. Almost instantly I knew who she was referring to- Elaine and I. The fact that she was speaking to Ban helped me put the pieces together, but it was quite obvious all the same. Choosing between a demoness and saint didn't apply to very many people.

I know very little about Elaine- and all of it I had heard from King. Either him talking about it with Ban, during which I was eavesdropping, or I was able to squeeze some information out of him about her. She was a fairy saint, King's sister, in fact, who guarded the fountain of youth, which was where Ban got his powers. There was the famous destruction of the Fairy King's Forest long ago, by a red demon who they couldn't defeat, and though neither of them had explicitly said it, I'm sure that was when she died. It was heavily implied that she was no longer around anymore by the both of them- whenever I brought her up, it seemed to make them shut down.

Ban was quiet, and I could sense the thick tension their conversation carried from my position across the room. Horror struck me. She was insisting he choose between Elaine and I- and somehow I knew he would choose her. I mean, who wouldn't take a saint over a demon? Especially one as awful as me? I stared, eyes wide as dinner platters, at him, waiting- hoping, praying- that he didn't choose her, that he said he was fine with being with me.

But who would be fine with me? Such a settlement seems unfair on his end....

"What are you talking about?" Ban stared finally, his tone sharp, but curious.

"I could bring your previous lover back to life. Young Elaine, the woman who you said was your one and only," the goddess spoke, her voice buttery and soothing. Somehow, it sounded like nails on a chalkboard to me. "I can return her to you- happy, healthy, and alive."

"Nobody can do that," Ban snapped.

"I am a goddess," she countered, "I can do anything, Ban." He didn't say anything in response, so there was a silence. She took this opportunity to continue. "You aren't happy with that wretched demon, and you know it. You're with her for pity. You have nobody else to be with, and she'll be alive for as long as you will be, so why not her? Why not bury your feelings for Saint Elaine and settle for the abomination that is (y/n)?" She said my name as though it was Hawk's shit in her mouth, "You remember what she did, don't you?"

"Of course," Ban muttered distastefully, "Who wouldn't?"

My entire being nearly caved in on itself then and there. My chest throbbed as, quite a large portion of, the hope I held left my body, my head spiraling into maddening sadness as I realized, fully and truly, that he would no longer be with me. He would get Elaine back and live happily ever after- and saint and an immortal, nearly inseparable. How could I have been so blind? Of course he loves her more. Who wouldn't love her more? Who would love me at all?

Maybe he did it just to mess with me. He never did like me- maybe this was his last push away. His last attempt that finally pushed me over the edge.

I always did have bad taste in guys.

"Then you realize that Elaine would be a better suitor," she pushed. Ban started to say something, his fists clenched at his sides, but that faded pink tint washed over the room again and he relaxed, staring up at her.

I hadn't realized it, but my face was contorted in pain. Tears threatened to fall as I watched, knowing that I was forever going to be the second choice. This was proving it- he could be so easily swayed to her side. I've spent longer than I can remember dreaming about him- I've known him much longer than she has. Even then, he still prefers her. A fairy over a demon. A saint over a monster. It seems almost like an unfair fight, dontcha think?

"She would," Ban's voice was monotonous, unwavering and full of conviction. It was a firm decision- a belief. "You're right. How could I have been so dumb?"

"But Ban..." I whimpered, knowing my voice didn't reach him. How come Hawk hasn't said anything...? Although I guess he'd agree with Ban... he probably doesn't even like me...

"Thank god!" Hawk huffed, "(Y/N)'s always been my least favorite in the Sins."

"Y-You said..." my face scrunched up in agony. Ban probably didn't even like me either. He probably thought I was a burden- a useless monster Meli stuffed on the team because he felt bad for me.

"Bring Elaine back," Ban bellowed, his voice reverberating much more than I thought it would. "I could care less about that monster."

"That you liked me back..." my voice cracked as I said this, my heart shattering at his finality. He could care less. It was true, and I knew it. Something was off when he said he liked me; I was his rebound girl, the cheap knockoff of what once was. Now that he could have the real thing again- I was useless. Pointless. Worthless.

"Very well," the goddess spoke, "However-"

"Ban!" I croaked out without realizing. Neither him nor Hawk acknowledged me. Rage and sadness began to bubble in my core- now he was ignoring me too? I was delusional, enveloped in the sadness of losing the only person who even pretended to love me. "Ban! Ban, please, answer me!"

"I have a task-" I interrupted the goddess once again.

"Ban! Hawk! Answer me goddamnit!" My voice broke as I spoke, tears threatening to fall as I watched them. His resolve seemed to break, and is as him look around, almost confused. A pink glow washed over the room, and he hardened again. Realization washed over me- the goddess was controlling Ban. That's what the pink was- her magic.

"You asshat! How dare you call yourself a goddess! Let him make his own decisions!" My voice came out hurt and desperate. I wanted so badly for this all to be in my head, or for the goddess to be controlling him and his actions just to spite me. "Let him go!"

Her voice was directed at me next, and I could almost feel the shift in attention and mood- almost as though a goddess was truly staring down at me. My vision began to blot with darkness as I looked around, confused. What's happening?

"It is you who needs to let him go, demoness."