I awoke groggily, my vision entirely impaired, making it so that all I saw was darkness, even if my eyes were open. Every once in a while, a blurb of yellow light would trickle its way through, but would quickly disappear after I blinked a few times. Every part of my body felt heavy and out of place- like my legs were my arms, and vice-versa, and my stomach was where my heart was supposed to be. I felt like I was going to puke, and I could feel and hear my heart thundering in my ears, overpowering the annoying ringing that plagued all background noise. It was hard to differentiate all the noise.

Now, I was fine with all of that. I would've assumed I was blacked out drunk if it was for one thing.

I was cold.

I know, stupid reason, right? Wrong, bitch.

I never got cold. Not only am I a demon, but I have fire powers. My body has an irregularly high average temperature as-is, so I don't ever feel cold. But I was freezing (which means I was cold, if you hadn't guessed). I could vaguely feel my form shaking, my entire body racking back and forth with such ferocity I thought I might be having a seizure. Which might also be the reason why I'm suddenly a major bitch. But who knows? That might be normal.

Very, very slowly everything began to come back. After a few agonizingly slow minutes, I could see a bit better, but everything was still a bit muddied, and colors blended together into one large blob. I couldn't make out any detail, much less tell where in the hell I was. I began to regain my feeling, too. It started at my fingers and toes, and I flexed and curled them repeatedly, hoping to get the blood flowing to the rest of my body. It worked, and I eventually was back to normal for the most part.

That is, if you count only being able to move my hands and feet and being able to talk very limitedly as normal.

My vision was pretty clear after a few moments, and I took in my surroundings. It seemed like I was in some sort of abandoned building- the wood of the home was rotting, and there were holes in the walls, floor, and roof. There were only a few candles lighting the room, and moonlight shining through the broken glass windows.

Moonlight...?

I groaned as I lifted my head, it feeling like someone stabbed me as soon as I moved. It gave me a better chance to look around, and a satisfying crack came from my neck as I did so. Granted, it hurt like hell with the now stabbing headache I had, but after around twenty seconds of mentally cursing myself out for being a, and I quote, "cock-sucking motherfucking dumbass", because that is what one does in this sort of situation, it felt pretty good to be as loose as I was around my neck.

I am 100% normal, I assure you.

I glanced around the room after my mildly amusing episode of self-deprivation, finding that there was a cork-board with several wanted posters on it. The posters of my comrades were on the top of the various criminals, stacked in what I assumed to be order of importance. It also helped that they were circled in various different colors.

On the bottom were Gowther, Diane, and King, who were all circled in blue. The Goat Sin was on the left, the Serpent Sin on the right, and the Grizzly Sin in the center. Above them were Escanor, Merlin, and Meli, which vaguely surprised me, because Meli was often regarded the highest out of our group- for good reason, of course. They were arranged in that order, and I scrunched up my face when I noticed the two on top, which were circled in red, contrasting the ones below them, which had yellow outlines.

Ban and I were there, and there were several notes pinned next to them. I had to squint to see, but several of them seemed to be locations, which I recognized very clearly to be places that we had travelled to. Vaizel; my precious home, Dalmary, which also happened to be where Ban was held captive in the Baste Dungeon; as well as several other areas, nearly every single one we had visited over the course of the last few weeks.

My gaze then shifted next to the cork-board, and I let out an involuntary growl at the sight.

There were four men, who I recognized all too well. There was the "merchant" who I had spoke to earlier in the day, assuming it was only a few hours after he had kidnapped me with his other three asswipe pals. Two of the three men look to be twins. They were the same height, same size in bulk, and had the same hair color. They were both blonde with brown eyes, one of them having a bowl-cut and the other with his hair almost entirely shaved, save for a large mustache and a tuft of hair on top, which was style to mimic exactly what his facial hair looked like. It would've been funny if he wasn't, y'know, my kidnapper. The third had long, shaggy black hair, which draped down to his chin, only shadowing his face where it parted over her nose- which also led to his mouth being unveiled. His face was covered in bandages and very tall. At first glance I had assumed he was bulky, but I couldn't have been more mistaken. The illusion of this was given by the sheer amount of clothing he was wearing, but where his wrists stuck out, they were bony. Like a grandmother's.

The merchant turned toward me, then grinned maliciously, causing the other three to turn in my direction to. I was very tempted to jump over and throw a few punches, but I could hardly move without seriously straining myself, and my hands and feet were bound by rope, which I'm going to assume was enchanted. Because if it wasn't, these men were incredibly stupid.

I also noted that both my cloak and boots were gone, my whip sitting atop the pile, which was on a wooden table in the center of the four men.

"Well look who woke up~" purred the mustache man.

"The little girlie~" his twin purred just after.

"I would've thought you'd be out a bit longer," the merchant hummed, walking closer to me. He yanked me up by my hair, causing a yelp to escape my throat. That did not feel good when combined with my already throbbing head. "But I guess I can't expect someone like you to be out very long."

"I never caught your name," I spoke, my voice still hoarse and extremely unattractive. I sounded how a hangover felt. That's not fun. "But your tendency for bullshittery leads me to believe you go by Sir Giant Douche."

He smiled, "You're funny for a criminal."

"What am I wrong? What about Holy Knight Turd Sandwich III?" I asked again, wadding a large ball of spit in my mouth. Once it was of considerable size, it shot out through my lips, landing directly on his eye, then dripping down his cheek in all its disgusting glory.

"Funny to an extent," he growled, roughly tossing me to the ground and wiping with face with his shirt sleeve.

I grunted when I landed rolling onto my back. "You were much more enjoyable when you had that dumbass accent," I coughed.

"Ooh, she commented on the boss's acting~" Bowl-cut laughed.

"You've got guts, we'll give you that~" hummed mustache.

"Calm down, Dumb and Dumber," I growled, "I'm gonna kick your ass in a few minutes so I'd shut your mouth. Be like Zack and Aizawa's secret love child, over there."

"That makes no logical sense," muttered Shaggy McHomeless from across the room, he was the only one who hadn't moved. Sir Giant Douche stood in front of me, glowering, and the Tweedle-bitch (or Hitachiin, whichever you prefer) twins were on either of my sides.

"This ropes are enchanted~" Mustache.

"No way you're getting out, girlie~" Bowl-cut.

"If you two don't stop fucking-" I growled, but was cut off by a loud cough, followed by saliva shooting from my mouth, erupting from my throat.

"I don't appreciate when people insult my team," Knight Turd Sandwich, I can't decide which one I like better, growled, shoving the heel of his boot into my stomach. I felt bile rise in my throat, and I puffed out my cheeks to prevent myself from retching, immediately regretting eating all those desserts.

Because, y'know, I'm totally fine with getting kidnapped because I ate them. But throwing up? Now it's a mistake.

His ground his heel into my exposed skin, causing me to grunt in pain as he glared maliciously down at me.

"You know, I like you," he purred, putting more of his weight into me. I yelped, gasping in pain. I couldn't do anything. It infuriated me. "If you weren't a betrayer of the kingdom and all, I'd totally tap that."

"Touch me and I will murder you," I growled, my voice lowering an octave, all the pain suddenly disappearing from my tone. I still felt it, but the suggestion pissed me off way more than the pain did.

"Oh, feisty too," he chuckled, "I like that in a woman."

"Man, why does the boss," Bowl-cut started.

"Always do stuff like this?" Finished mustache.

Then they finalized together, "We're going! Don't break her to much!"

With that the walked out the front door in sync. Only then did I notice that the both of them had belts covered entirely with knife sheaths, which had the designated weapon inside each one. There were also two on their legs, on each thigh of each twin.

They could've stabbed me...

"Toriano," The man above me huffed, "Out."

"As you wish," The skinny guy spoke, exiting the room swiftly. My eyes widened as I watched the man above me smirk.

"Don't touch me," I spoke, my voice rising in slight panic. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Why?" He purred, leaning down over me. He grabbed my by the collar and lifted me up so put noses were nearly touching. "I only wanna give you a kiss~"

"Get off me!" I screeched, shoving both of my knees up into his stomach as hard as I could. Which probably wasn't much, considering what a weak state I was in. He barely flinched at the contact. So then, I opted for a more direct approach.

I shoved my head forward into his, surprising him as my head made contact with his nose.

"You bitch!" He growled, dropping me on the ground and holding his nose as he stumbled back. I gasped for air, the hard contact making my head throb and vision spin. I wheezed as I turned on my side, grasping for any of my power to come back so that I could whoop this Sooubway-Jared-wannabe's ass.

None of it came.

"Now you're gonna do what I say," he growled, shoving me from my side so that I was on my stomach. I felt his pelvis grind against the back of my ass and his hot breath against my ear. I began to panic, my instinctual fight or flight reaction kicking in. He whispered his next line, "Whether you like it or not. And you're gonna like it~"

My head whirled with desperate options. The obvious first choice was attack, but it was off the table. I was no match for a trained bounty hunter in this state. The second was run, also off the table. He was on top of me in a very compromising position, and, as I much as I hated to admit it, it didn't look like I could get out of it. Lucky number three was scream for help- for any help- but that probably wouldn't do anything. It looked like this place was abandoned, and I didn't hear anything from outside. That meant we weren't on a Main Street, probably an abandoned one by the look of it. Nobody was here. My last option was go along with it until I found an opportunity. I'm flirty. I can do that. Distract him long enough to escape. My only chance- and not a very good one.

I gulped, swallowing down the majority of my resentment for him and trying my hardest to be convincing. Which, surprisingly, wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be.

"Be rough," I purred, looking back at him as perverted as I could, pressing my ass against his crotch. "Soft guys are such a turn-off."

"See, now you're gettin' the hang of it~" he purred, flipping my over so that I was now facing upward. His eyes trailed down to my chest, nearly making me gag as his hungry eyes bore into my clothes. "I'm guessing you're as nice as you look from the outside over here~"

He reached his hand down, his fingers grasping around the edge of my top. My eyes widened in surprise, and I immediately became desperate.

I can't let him get that far. I have to get out. But he's fucking on top of me. I can't. Being flirty didn't help- at all. What do I do? God, what do I do? My brain was now churning with every worst possible scenario, and I felt tears well in my eyes in panic. They fell down my cheeks in desperation, as I looked wildly around the room for any last hope.

"Oh, come on, pretty lady. No one's gonna help you. You're stuck. With me," his laughter boomed cruelty in the room, and I choked back a sob. I was desperate, so I did the only thing I could think of. My last chance, which was 0.0000001, by the way.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! BAN! KING! ANYBODY PLEASE HELP ME! HEL-mph!"

I cried out, my words being cut of by his hand instantly covering my mouth. Tears fell freely now, because I knew I was fucked. Literally and figuratively.

"Now, now, that's no good," he growled, pushing himself into me as his hand reached down to his belt. My eyes widened in fear, and I struggled beneath him in futility. He laughed at my attempt. "That won't help, (n/n)- you like (n/n)? I like (n/n). Nobody's coming. Your stupid friends aren't coming to help you. You're all mi-"

A loud crash interrupted him, mid-villain monologue. Both of our heads shot in the direction of its origin, finding the door on the floor and discarded to the side. Only even better, there was someone in the door.

"B-Ban...?" I whispered, my words unheard by him because of my captor's hand. "Why are you...?"

"What the hell is going on here?"

His voice was menacing and low, and his expression was one of pure rage- one I had never seen before. He glared at the man on top of me, who seemed completely unfazed by his arrival. He stood up, getting off of me.

"Why Ban!" He spoke cheerily, "What an amazing coincide-"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence, Ban's hand had already been shoved into his stomach. The man coughed up blood, which landed on nothing, because the Fox Sin was already gone. He crumpled to the ground, already bleeding out from the gaping wound in his abdomen. I still hadn't moved from my place on the ground, still in shock that Ban, of all people, had come to my rescue.

"Sir, I don't mean to intrude, but-" the skinny man walked in from the side room he entered, but his eyes widened at the sight before him. He took a step forward. "Masio, wha-!"

He too was cut off mid-sentence by Ban, only this time he had simply snapped the man's neck, letting him fall limply to the ground. My brain still hasn't processed anything, and only when Ban came to my side did I realize what happened.

"You... but... why did you- I mean, I... Ban, why... I thought you..." I sputtered out words as he untied my hands and feet wordlessly, not saying anything at all, just glaring at the floor as he worked. "But you hate me..." I grimaced at my words, noticing that tears were falling again. They had only stopped from pure shock. "Why did you... why did you save me?"

"You idiot!" He growled through gritted teeth, punching the floor so hard the wood beneath his fist crumpled. "How the hell did you manage to do something so stupid?!"

I looked up at him, my face scrunched up in confusion. I brought my knees to my chest and clutched my head.

"I-I don't understand," I whimpered, "I... I don't get it..."

"You're stupid!" Ban growled, his voice breaking. All of the sudden I was shoved into his chest, a little too harshly. "What the fuck is your problem?"

"You, Ban!" I shouted, exasperated and completely and entirely done with absolutely nothing going my way. Despite my angered shout directed at him, I clutching his open leather jacket tighter. "You're stupid gorgeous face and your stupid hot body and your stupid awesome personality! You love somebody else and you fucking hate my guts and I don't understand it! Because I like you so goddamned much it hurts my fucking soul to know that!" I was starting to hyperventilate, tears falling in streams as I cried. "And now Ellie is fucking terrified of me because I beat the shit out of you! And then I got kidnapped by these assholes and they tried to- he tried to... agh, fuck! Why is everything so hard?! Why did you save me?! Why am I the only person who always gets fucked over and is never given a fucking chance! Explain that, you almighty douchebag with the knowledge of a thousand fucking-!"

My head snapped to the side as I was roughly pulled away from him. My cheek stung, and I could already tell there was a red handprint against my cheekbone.

Ban just slapped me.

"You dumbass."

"You just..."

"Yeah. I fucking slapped you," I glared up at him, but immediately drew myself back, noticing his expression. He was hurt. Above the anger and the hatred and the annoyance- he was hurt. "Because you're to thick to realize it, so I have to fucking explain it to you."

My eyes widened in surprise when he brought me into his chest again, pressing his lips against my forehead, which were amazingly soft, by the way. In case you were wondering. You probably weren't. But they were. And it was great.

"I like you, too, (y/n)."