No - no, no, no.

Draco couldn't take it anymore. He ran blindly up the stairs and barely looked at Astrid as she sat up abruptly in bed, alarm crossing her features as he stumbled across the room to the washroom and violently threw up in the toilet.

"Draco?" He heard her call out fearfully as he shakily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, still crouched over the toilet, waiting for the nausea to pass.

"Draco?"

He looked up to see her standing in the doorway, and he couldn't help but think that she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"What's happened?" She trembled as her eyes filled with worry, making his heart tear into a million pieces.

"N-Nothing," he stuttered, yanking the chain as he stood up. His legs felt wobbly and he was worried for a second he might collapse. "Just too much mead. Go back to bed, I'll be with you in a minute."

She nodded, but didn't look convinced. He went to the sink, splashing his face with cold water.

As he crawled into bed, he wrapped her fiercely in his arms, pulling her small frame into his chest. She suddenly seemed more delicate, more precious than she had ever felt to him before. He kissed the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair, trying to take in every single part of her.

His thoughts turned to the little girl he had imagined they would one day have and tears cascaded down his face as his whole body shook in a feeling of such immense, all consuming grief.

He couldn't lose his Astrid. He just couldn't.

...

There was something very, very wrong.

Draco could barely look me in the eye anymore. And I couldn't get it out of him why.

He looked so sad and it broke my heart.

"It's just - everything, the war. It's exhausting." He would mumble, but never gave me anything more.

And then there was my uncle.

"I've concocted a potion for you to take regularly," he explained, as we sat in his little sitting room a couple of days after Christmas. "It'll keep the darkness at bay."

"You mean you've found the reason I've been... possessed? You can get rid of it?" I asked hopefully. I didn't understand why he didn't look more jubilant.

"I can help you keep it dormant, but I'm afraid the potion won't rid it entirely."

He looked so sad, and so solemn.

But surely this was good news?

As I looked from Snape to Draco, I saw them exchange a look.

"There's something more, isn't there?" I asked, my heart thudding fearfully in my chest. "I can see there is. Please - what is it you're not telling me?!"

"We need to tell her, Professor," Draco implored to my uncle, "it's not fair that we know and she doesn't!"

"Know what? Draco, you're scaring me!" I cried, my body beginning to tremble with fear.

Draco immediately clasped my hand in his as he moved a fraction closer to me on the sofa. The whiff of his cologne managing to comfort me slightly.

He looked across at my uncle who was vacating the armchair. "Please." Draco implored to him once more.

Snape remained silent, his face impassive as he appeared to be thinking something over.

"Very well," he said finally, releasing a heavy sigh. "Astrid, there is something I need to explain to you, and I need you to listen without interruption."

I looked to Draco who's face had gone a sickly shade of green. He pulled his fearful eyes away from mine as if he knew what was about to come.

"What is it?"

...

Draco held Astrid's hand as Snape explained to her about the Horcruxes.

He couldn't take his eyes from her beautiful face, watching it contort as she took in the horror of what she was hearing.

"It- it can't be," she trembled, her blue frightened eyes searching Draco as if he could reassure her that Snape had in fact got it wrong. "A piece of my father's soul is inside of me?"

Draco felt as though he was hearing it for the first time all over again. He wrapped an arm around Astrid holding her to him.

"It's okay," Draco murmured into her hair, "I'll keep you safe, whatever happens, I will not let anything happen to you."

"The thing is..." Snape spoke carefully, causing Draco to look up at him fiercely, snaking his arm tighter around Astrid as if he could protect her from his next words, "your father cannot be defeated until all the Horcruxes are destroyed."

Draco felt Astrid shudder.

"You mean as long as I'm alive my father will continue to reign terror on the world?"

"... yes."

Astrid abruptly stood to her feet. Draco looked up at her in alarm.

"Are you telling me there is absolutely no way of destroying this thing inside of me without me dying?"

She looked down at her uncle, her face screwing up in pain and confusion.

"No child, I'm afraid not." Snape continued calmly, his head shaking softly in regret as Astrid let out a soft wail.

That night Draco held her sobbing in his arms, comforting her while she let out all of her pain and tears, until in the morning, she had none left.

...

I felt numb.

Nothing felt real to me anymore. My life no longer felt like mine.

The only thing keeping me anchored was my love for Draco. Without him I feared I would just float away.

I actually envied Harry Potter. He was out there obliviously helping to save the world - without realising it had to end with him. And me.

I wondered how many Horcruxes he had destroyed - how many were left to go before it was time. My time.

"If I don't die, then Harry's mission will be pointless." I mumbled into Draco's chest the following morning as we lay in bed.

"Fuck Potter!" Draco spat, sitting up and pulling me into his lap, resting his forehead against mine, "You're more important than his stupid mission. I won't let you die, Astrid! Not for anything."

"Do you think Harry would though, when he finds out? Do you think he will sacrifice himself to save the world?" I asked, trembling at the very idea of doing something like that.

"Yes, probably," Draco sneered. "Potter would do anything to show off."

"But Draco - if he dies and I don't, then it will all be for nothing."

"So?"

"So - we've got to let him know. We can't let him walk to his death thinking he's destroyed all the Horcruxes when he hasn't!"

"You tell Potter and he won't hesitate to kill you!" Draco cried, his eyes widening in horror.

"But I can't sit back knowing what I know and just do nothing!"

"I'm afraid I'm inclined to agree with my niece."

Both Draco and I snapped our heads towards the doorway in surprise.

Snape was stood in the open bedroom doorway staring at us.

"Severus! I didn't hear the door opening!" I gasped, pulling the sheet up a little higher as Draco's arms tightened around me.

"What do you mean you agree with her?" Draco snapped, not seeming to care that my uncle had just walked in on us cuddling naked in bed.

"I mean, it would be immoral to allow someone to sacrifice themselves without them knowing all the facts first." Snape drawled. "Even if it is Potter."

"But he will hunt her down just like he's doing with the other Horcruxes!" Draco cried, his voice becoming desperate.

"Maybe not - not if she gets him onside first."

"What?" Draco and I both spluttered simultaneously.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully," my uncle said, stepping uninvited into the room. "I have a plan."