Sometimes the way Zane looked at me scared me.

Not in the same way that I felt scared when Jax looked at me. Or that kid, Brandon.

It scared me in a completely different sense. Zane looked at me like he could really see me. And I was all he could see. It's how he's looking at me right now.

"You've always had me, Seren." Zane finally said after moment. "You just didn't know it."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, unsure what he was saying.

"From the moment you looked at me, I swear it. I've been here. Maybe I was just waiting for you to see me, too." Zane said as he brought his hand up to my face, and he gently stroked my cheekbone. "Which is why you can believe the things that I'm saying to you right now. I'll be here for you, no matter what. No matter what you decide to do. You can trust me."

"I know I can." I muttered but I wasn't thinking about the words I was saying. I was lost in his eyes. They were so beautiful. I had never noticed. They were like a warm blanket, soft and comforting.

"Why can't we tell anyone?" Zane asked me again.

"It won't matter. No one will believe me. I'm surprised you did." I explained. It's true after all. No one ever believes the poor girl who cries rape.

Zane's eyebrows furrowed, like he didn't understand my words. "Why do you think that?"

"No one ever believes the girl. I don't know, maybe if it had gone to the police that night, it would be a different story." I shrugged as I spoke.

"We can go now. It's not too late, Seren." Zane urged as he squeezed my shoulder.

"It is." I told him. "You wouldn't understand. You're not a girl. You've never had to question if people will believe you about things like this."

"But..."

"99.4 percent of rapists never see a day in jail." I cut him off. "99.4. That's almost all of them."

I had spent one of many sleepless nights on the internet, researching this thoroughly. Out of the 31 percent of rapes that are reported to the police, 1 percent are referred to a prosecutor. 0.7 are convicted of felonies. 0.6 percent are incarcerated.

Zane looked alarmed at my words, and for a second I wondered what it would be like to live as a male, to be surprised at a statistic like that.

"You can't deal with this alone. You need to talk to someone about it." Zane said in a whisper, like he knew his words would upset me. "It's not healthy."

"I'm done with this conversation. I'm not telling anyone, Zane, and you can't change my mind." I tried to turn away but he gently grabbed my arm, pulling me back.

"I could do it, Seren. If you need me to." Zane said.

I whipped my head towards him in shock. "What?"

"I can tell someone for you." Zane explained.

"I thought you said I could trust you." He had just said that, hadn't he? Zane said I could trust him, and now he wants to tell people?

"What?" Zane's eyes opened wide. "Of course you can."

"So if I can trust you, it means you won't tell anyone." I snapped.

Zane took a deep breath, his eyes returning to the sympathetic state that had been in most of the night. "We can't deal with this just the two of us, Seren."

"I'm dealing with it." I assured him. "I'm fine."

"Seren, you're not fine." Zane took a hold of both of my hands with his. His hands were so large that you can barely see mine between them. "You're not fine."

I am fine. I am fine. I am. Aren't I?

"He's... obsessed with you." Zane continued when I didn't answer. "He's sick in the head. I can protect you, don't get me wrong, but I can't be with you all the time. As much as I wish I could. What if he had came here last night, while your dad was gone? Or the night before when I wasn't here with you?"

"He's not obsessed with me." The words felt wrong coming out of my mouth, almost like I was defending him. As I said them, my eyes involuntarily scanned towards my drawer, where I had stashed the letters. I felt my heart sink when I noticed the drawer was still open, and the letters were placed on top of the nightstand. Which was not where I left them.

"You read them?" I asked Zane. I don't know why I felt panicked that he knew yet another one of my secrets. He already knew the worst, so I shouldn't care. Zane kept finding out the things I had kept secret in hopes that they would become less scary if I pretended they didn't exist. I couldn't pretend they didn't exist if Zane knew about them.

Zane nodded. "I wish I could say I'm sorry that I read them, but I'm not. He's dangerous, Seren."

Every word that Zane was saying was making me panic. Hearing him speak my deeply hidden concerns was like he was validating my irrational fears, and confirming that they were actually rational after all.

"Can I sleep at your house?" I asked him, and I knew he would noticed the way my voice cracked and the way my eyes filled up with tears.

"Of course you can." Zane responded, squeezing my hands that were still wrapped under his own.

After packing a bag, which Zane insisted on carrying to the car, I was staring at my house as Zane pulled out of my driveway. My dad was supposed to come home tonight, but somehow I doubted that. He would send me a one lined text at some point today, or leave me a voicemail letting me know. He wouldn't know that I didn't go to school today. He wouldn't know that I was scared to sleep in my own bed. He wouldn't know anything. Would he even care?

"Come on." Zane touched my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts. We were parked in front of his house, and I almost wondered how I had barely even been present the entire car ride. How often did I do that?

"My parents are at work." Zane told me, as if he thought that was the cause of my hesitancy to get out of the car.

"Are they going to be mad at you for not going to school?" I asked, suddenly realizing that my problems were clearly already negatively effecting him in his real life.

"Don't worry about me." Zane gave me a small smile.

Zane kept his arm around my shoulder as we walked through his empty house. I wondered if Zane ever got lonely, since he was just like me in that sense. All alone in a house that was way too big for him.

"What do you want to do? It's already two in the afternoon, are you hungry?" Zane asked, peaking down at the watch on his wrist. When I shook my head, his lips turned down at the sides. "Movie?"

"Sure." I told him as I climbed into his bed, wrapping the blankets around me. I wondered if I would ever feel as safe in my own bed as I did in Zane's.

Zane put on a movie that I didn't know the name of. I didn't really care what it was. It looked to be a romance of some kind, and I knew Zane had put it on for my own sake. I peaked over at Zane, who was sitting so idly beside me that I wondered what he was thinking about.

The way my body moved around Zane was like it had its own mind, one that wasn't connected to me. Like it acted two steps before my brain, instead of the other way around. I watched as my arm raised off the bed, reaching for Zane. I watched as my hand laid itself on his chest. I watched as I scooted towards him, so there was no longer any space between us.

Zane moved his arm behind me, using his hand to gently push my shoulders, like he was telling me to sit up. When I did, he snaked his arm around my waist, pushing on my stomach so I sank back down. He pulled me closer to him, and my head fell on his chest.

Neither of us said anything. We watched the movie. Or, at least I pretended do. I was focused on the way he was stroking the skin on my side, the skin that my shirt had left exposed when it had ridden up. It was so calming. I felt my eyes start to close, and I didn't fight it.

"Seren?" Zane said after a minute. "Do you want to have a nap?"

"Yeah." I hummed out, I was almost asleep.

"Okay. I'll go wait in the living room."

"No." I clenched the fabric of his shirt between my fingers. I didn't want him going anywhere. "Stay. Please."

"Are you sure?" Zane asked me.

"I'm sure."

I didn't think of all the scary things that have happened to me. I didn't think about the fact that Zane finally knew my secret. I didn't think about Jax, as I always did. Usually he was always in the back of mind, reminding me of that night.

I thought about the way Zane's heart was beating under my head. It was quick, and I wondered if he was nervous. He shouldn't be. Zane told me that I had always had him, but maybe he had always had me too, and we were both just waiting for me to realize it.