: So if you didn't notice the changes... I have decided to separate The Art of Falling from The Falling Universe, it is now . This means it will no longer be attached to our beloved Miles Cunningham & Isabella Gallagher, which also means Sierra Gallagher will now be and her family backstory will be adjusted. I did this for personal reasons, and I hope you understand. Isabella Gallagher is now Leila Garner, Miles Cunningham is now Mason Collins, and Addison & Jasper are now Allison and Jack. I kept the names relatively the same/similar initials to help readers follow along a little better.

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my final art project the following Monday. Still, after my morning studio class, I realized I was more behind than I wanted to be. I thanked my lack of focus for the blank spaces on my canvas. But the semester was nearly over, and my motivation was evaporating faster than water on hot pavement. And trying to find enough to get me through this last project was taxing.

"How is your project coming along?" I asked Reva and sipped my iced coffee, sagging in relief as the cool liquid entered my belly. The heat was unbearable today, though the chilly air and smell of coffee from The Coffee Shack were all I needed to get me through the rest of the day.

"I'm almost finished! Then I have to work on the essay for our writing class, and after that, I'm done." She pretended to drop a microphone, and Penelope giggled. "Then it's finally summer."

I relaxed into the cushions. "How is our junior year almost over?"

"I don't know. How is college going so fast? We will be seniors, and that means I have to get a big girl job next year." Lucy groaned. "I don't think getting blacked out on weekends will be on my list anymore."

I chuckled. "No, definitely not. It feels like only yesterday we were dragging you up the dorm stairs in your bumblebee costume."

She covered her face and shook her head. "I don't remember that night, and I'm glad I don't."

We all fell into a fit of laughter and told Penelope the story. She did not seem appalled by our behavior, which is a bonus because she is lovely. And Reva appeared more content than ever, which I couldn't be more thankful for, especially now that Elijah occupies a lot of my time.

After finishing our coffee and confirming our movie plans for tomorrow night, I strolled toward the art building to continue working on my project. The class was letting out when I walked inside the lobby. I came earlier than usual because the boys had practice, and I wanted to watch Elijah from the window.

I plopped onto a stool, wedged my headphones into my ears, and began mixing paint. My studio teacher waved goodbye and cracked the door.

When I was alone, I placed my palette on the table, walked to the window, and scoured the field for Elijah. I spotted him by the dugout, standing beside his coach. The sun was blinding, and I doubted he could see me in the window, but I waved anyway. I could only imagine how sweaty they were from the heat.

He dragged his hand across his forehead and then jogged onto the field. His shirt clung to his body as he picked up a baseball and threw it toward first base.

I pictured him peeling his sweaty clothes off and climbing into the shower, the water gliding over the ridges of his muscles, the same ones I touched. What it would be like if I was in there with him...

Since he left Saturday morning, we had not seen one another.

It took a lot of journaling to sort through my meltdown, but my emotions were finally under control for the most part. Leila still wanted me to make an appointment with a therapist, and I still needed to talk to Elijah. Still, I was beginning to unravel my issues one by one, starting with my worth.

Between my unresolved body-image issues and lack of self-love, it wasn't easy picturing myself with someone like Elijah. He was handsome and talented without trying.

After all, everything I disliked about myself was superficial and stemmed from subconscious comparisons I made to everyone else. And it was going to take a lot of effort to unlearn all of the things I had spent hating most of my life.

Turning up my headphone volume, I lost myself in my project, every once in a while glancing at the field where the team still practiced. When the sun began to set and they dispersed from the field, I texted Elijah, hoping he would come and see me like he usually did after practices.

I waited for him to respond. Tapping my black phone screen, I hoped I missed it light up or ring with a text. Ten, fifteen, and twenty-five minutes passed, and the building was eerily quiet, like my phone.

It was time to head home; even though I wished I would receive a text, Elijah was on his way. When I entered my apartment, my phone vibrated.

My stomach flip-flopped as I read his text.

It was a normal text, nothing that should have upset me. He did not have to come to visit me, I hadn't even asked him to tonight, yet that damned lump formed in the back of my throat. I could blame it on my period right around the corner, but it was probably something more profound.

the writing lecture hall the next day. She practically bounced off the seats with joy while showing me her completed studio project pictures. We reveled in its beauty and decided it was enough to celebrate over at our girl's night.

"I love the colors you used in her hair."

"Thank you. I was so nervous, but I decided to go out of my comfort zone."

"You have nothing to worry about. It is amazing, and going to receive an A-plus."

She waved one hand, a rare red hue kissing her cheeks.

The professor turned on the projector, and I craned my neck to see if Elijah had arrived, but his seat was empty. I chewed on my cheek. Why was his absence stressing me out?

"Everything alright?" Reva whispered.

"Yeah, just looking for Elijah."

"Have you two talked since Saturday?"

"We've texted." Barely.

She cast an empathetic smile. She must have felt the concern radiating from me. The last time he skipped class, he was having a bad day, and I wondered if he was going through something again. So, when class was over—because I did not want to get my ass handed back to me by Professor Kepler—I asked if Elijah was alright, to which he replied with a simple yes.

My unusual feeling had not gone away, but at least I knew he was okay.

Reva and I hurried home to clean our apartment before the girls arrived. We swept the floors and fluffed the couch pillows and cushions.

After wiping the countertops off, I arranged the little liquor we had left and wine glasses. I didn't anticipate tonight to be a black-out kind of evening, at least not for me, but the option was there.

Penelope arrived first with a plate of cookies. Then Lucy and Iya came with buffalo chicken dip, seltzers, and wine. "Hi, bitches," Lucy held up the twelve-pack. "Who's ready for girl's night?"

We shouted girl's night back and assembled in the kitchen wearing our pajamas.

"Jesus, your knuckles, Sade." Iya pointed while she poured me hearty glasses of wine. I ran my fingers over the black and blue tender skin. I chuckled in embarrassment at the memory of decking Dustin in the face.

"Yeah, I've been icing it. The swelling has gone down, but it will be bruised for a while."

"I can't believe you fucking punched Dustin."

"I'm mad I didn't get to see it."

"Word was going around their frat that a girl decked him for being an ass."

My cheeks heated. I didn't think through the ramifications of my actions, but there was not much I could do now. I shook my head and swallowed a mouthful of wine. "I can't believe I punched him either. Part of me feels bad, but he also deserved it."

We meandered to the living room. Iya and Lucy took one couch, and Reva and Penelope took the other while I took the spot on the floor I made for myself with pillows and blankets. We had our living room windows open, enjoying the cool breeze while the cooking channel played in the background.

We were supposed to watch Bridget Jones's Diary, but we probably would not start the movie for another hour with all of our catching up to do. Iya talked about her spring musical next weekend, which we were all attending. Lucy spoke about her upcoming internship at an engineering company.

Reva's phone lit up during the conversation, and she studied the message, Penelope glancing over her shoulder. I watched her brows furrow, unfurl, eyes widen, and then her mouth fell open before she sprang to her feet.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" She jumped up and down. "They're featuring my piece midterms in the art gallery this summer!"

Excitement surged through me, and I leaped to my feet. "Holy shit, Reva! Congratulations!"

Everyone joined our celebratory huddle. Being featured in the building gallery was near impossible and one of the highest honors. The entire art department must agree on the piece they're featuring, and there are not many spots to fill. I didn't blame them for choosing Reva because my best friend was incredibly talented and deserved a place.

"I have to call my parents," she squealed, excused herself, and ran down the hall to her bedroom.

"Look at us taking the world by storm," Iya relaxed into the couch. Reva's enthusiasm echoed through the walls, and we laughed.

There was knocking at the front door, which caused us to jump. Lucy rolled off the couch like she was expecting someone. "That's Jayce."

"Jayce Lawson? What is he doing here?"

"He brought us pizza."

Jayce got us a pizza? I pushed myself off the floor and joined Lucy. Jayce and Brant stood in the doorway with a large box and bright smiles. I peered behind Brant to see if my man was falling behind, but he was nowhere to be found. My shoulders slouched.

Lucy leaned in and pressed a long kiss to Jayce's lips, giggling like a schoolgirl, and I blinked twice. It was clear to say they were not keeping their relationship private anymore.

"I didn't know you guys were stopping by." I held onto the door.

"Nice pajama's art, girl." Jayce looked me up and down, and I rolled my eyes. "Lucy asked if we would bring pizza. Can we join girl's night now? We didn't know it was a PJ party. Also, we can wear our boxers."

"Do either of you identify as female? If the answer is no, then no. But thank you for the pizza." The girls chuckled, and Lucy took the box from Jayce's hands and skipped to the kitchen.

I hesitated, then asked in a hushed tone, "Where's Elijah?"

"He's busy."

Busy.

My head was clouded with thoughts of Elijah missing class, not visiting me in the studio, his empty text messages, and the fact I hadn't seen him since we had sex. Lucy returned to kiss Jayce, and I meandered back to my seat because if I stood beside there any longer, I'd ask what he was busy doing.

The guys waved goodbye. Before the door closed, Jayce made eye contact with me. Between his raised brows and a tip of his head in my direction, I determined it was his silent way of asking if everything was okay. I nodded, waved goodbye, and picked up my phone.

No New Notifications.

I sighed.

"Who was that?" Reva returned and plopped herself on Penelope's lap.

"The guys brought us pizza."

"Did Sadie's man Elijah visit?" Reva grinned, and my friends broke their necks to look at me, their eyes wide with curiosity. Reva blinked in surprise, most likely from my stunned expression, and then mouthed sorry.

"Your man?"

"Are you dating Elijah?"

"Sadie Lane Garner!"

I chuckled. Not because anything was funny, but because of how comical it was to finally tell my friends about Elijah when I felt this uncertain about our relationship. Elijah was not one to keep quiet, which was usually my job. And his lack of communication right now made my stomach churn.

"I don't know if we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but we have seen each other." I fiddled with the tassels on our pillow. "Romantically," I added.

Iya was shocked but ecstatic, and Lucy pretended to be surprised, even though she had known, which I appreciated. We shared a knowing look. Though, her excitement felt genuine, and so was her enormous smile.

"Tell us everything."

I opened my mouth to speak, but my emotions were as friable as a live wire. The mere mention of our relationship made me want to cry. The energy in the room changed when I started speaking. "It's quite a mess right now, and it's all my fault." My voice wobbled.

They scooted closer. Reva was by my side in seconds, her arm around my shoulder. "Don't cry, Sade. What's wrong?"

"This is now how I wanted to tell you guys about Elijah and me." Curt laughter bubbled from me. "I've made it so hard for him to be with me. He's been so kind and patient from day one while I've been holding back because of—well, I thought it was because of Ben. Then we had sex the other night for the first time, and—"

"Was it good sex?" Reva interrupted, breaking the tension.

"So good." Laughter filled the room. "But ever since then, things have been strange between us. I realized it wasn't my past relationship holding me back. It is my insecurity. I don't feel good enough for someone like Elijah, and I don't know why."

Lucy cocked her head. "Sadie, remember our conversation before the bar? You are beautiful, intelligent, and talented. You should not use your insecurities to decide whether you are worthy of someone's love. If Elijah loves you, he loves you. No questions asked."

"Exactly. What you think about yourself won't change his feelings for you."

I understood what they meant. However, trying to convince me that my insecurities were pointless during a vulnerable time was like teaching a child rocket science. It just did not work.

"He's been pulling away this week."

"Did he say he needed space?"

"No."

"Did you say you needed space?"

I thought back to our conversations. "Not specifically. I told him I was soul searching, though."

"I'm making an assumption here, so take this with a grain of salt. But if I had sex with someone and then told them I needed to do soul searching, I would assume the soul searching was because of me." Iya gritted her teeth, and there was a sudden pang of anxiety in my gut.

Oh no. "My soul searching was about me, not about my feelings for him. I know I have them. What if he thinks I don't want to be with him?"

Penelope shrugged. "You won't know unless you ask."

"If you're waiting to be content with yourself before you commit to Elijah, you'll be waiting a long time. Hell, I'm not content with myself." Lucy motioned to herself. "I say tell him how you feel now, be open about what's been going on. Don't let these things hold you back from something that can make you happier."

My smile hid my shaky breath, and I pulled everyone in for a hug, aware of how much lighter I felt now that they knew. My tears were no longer out of frustration. They were a result of the love I had for these girls.

"Now tell us all of the good stuff, with details."

─── • ───

So if you didn't notice the changes... I have decided to separate The Art of Falling from The Falling Universe, it is now . This means it will no longer be attached to our beloved Miles Cunningham & Isabella Gallagher, which also means Sierra Gallagher will now be and her family backstory will be adjusted. I did this for personal reasons, and I hope you understand.

Isabella Gallagher is now Leila Garner, Miles Cunningham is now Mason Collins, and Addison & Jasper are now Allison and Jack. I kept the names relatively the same/similar initials to help readers follow along a little better.

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

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