here, I would've had a panic attack.

The storm was getting worse, and the power had yet to return. I was continuously checking my phone for tornado warnings. Though, none appeared even though the trees were blowing at a forty-five-degree angle. Maybe I was exaggerating, but they were leaning pretty far.

"Are you sure we shouldn't leave?" I asked.

"Would you let me drive you home?"

"No."

"Then no."

I huffed.

Reva still hadn't replied to my message, so I sent another text to our entire group chat and Iya was the only one to reply, telling me they were safe and they'd call me once things settled down. I did not know what that meant, but it was good enough for the time being.

Elijah picked at the popcorn. "You know," he spoke, catching my attention. "When I was younger, I would bawl during thunderstorms."

My chest shook. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah." He nodded. "My mom would hold me and my dad would use it as an opportunity to lecture me about being a man."

I sank against the wall, turning my shoulders toward Elijah as he told me about his childhood. I thought about the photo of his parents that fell from his wallet, wishing I could see it again. "Are you gonna cry now? Because I don't know if I can hug you."

He let out a curt laugh. "I'm sure you would if I started bawling."

"I don't think so."

A look of mischief crossed his face before he hid behind his hands and made a loud sobbing sound. "Elijah," I drew in a dramatic breath. He was not being serious...

His shoulders shook with vigor as he tilt toward me. The weight of his body rammed into mine, and I put my hands out to hold him up, but the closer he leaned, the further I fell. The back of his head landed in my lap.

I groaned, pushing myself upright, but laughter found its way into the mix.

"You big baby."

His head was snug in my lap, and I tucked my hands under my thighs to not stroke his cheek. He spread his fingers to peek at me. The candlelight caught his eye and the brown in his iris gleamed.

"You're invading my personal space."

"What is personal space?" He scooted closer, and I had to look away so he couldn't see my smile.

Every part of me wanted to be annoyed. To push his head off my lap. But I forgot how good it felt to be touched, to feel another person's warmth radiating from their body to yours. So, I let him stay in my lap.

He removed his hands, a content smile embellished his lips. "The views great down here."

I rolled my eyes. "You all are the same. You, Jayce, Dustin..."

His brows furrowed. "I'm nothing like Jayce, and I have no idea who Dustin is. Do I need to fight someone?"

My muscles rippled from laughter. "No fighting. Jayce likes to berate people with compliments, and so do you. For example, I'd love to know what you said to the basement girl at your party to get her tongue in your mouth."

I bit my cheek the moment the words came out.

Fuck, Sadie. If I didn't sound jealous, surely I did now. I wasn't jealous. I was trying to prove my point, but it came out horribly wrong. Glancing around the room, I realized I had no escape route, especially with this hulk of a man holding me down.

"For your information, Sadie." His voice was low, and he crossed his arms. "I don't have to say much to get a girl's tongue in my mouth." My cheeks turned red as he paused. "But you, on the other hand, would probably punch me in the throat if I tried."

Heat bloomed across my forehead, and I curled my toes.

"I wouldn't punch you in the throat. I'd stab you with the dull end of a paintbrush."

He cackled. "Exactly my point."

He sat up, leaving my thighs weightless. Our faces were level as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear. My breath got stuck in my throat as his eyes scanned my face and landed on my lips.

He looked at me with such eagerness; I had to stop myself from groaning in pain.

I wanted to lean forward and connect our lips, but I didn't want to be another tongue in his mouth. I didn't want to be used again.

Reva would tell me to not let what Ben did to me stop me from future relationships, but it already had. Leila lectured me about listening to my intuition for having faith in people, however, that was hard when not everyone's actions matched their intentions.

Since then, I've had a string of failed dates and a boatload of trust issues that were harder to rid than a bad virus.

"What if I told you I wanted to kiss you?" Elijah's thumb brushed my bottom lip and suddenly, the temperature was one hundred degrees.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

"I don't know if I'd let you." Fuck, Sadie.

I thought he would pull away from the rejection. Yet, a slender smile appeared, and he cupped my face as if he knew the turmoil running through my head. "That's okay. One day I will kiss you."

My heart beat wildly until it shattered.

Sadness, anger, arousal... I couldn't tell what emotion was surging through me.

These were the moments in which I hated myself because I could kiss someone like Dustin and not care. But if my heart would end up as collateral damage, I called things quits before they became too serious.

Like Elijah.

Needing a moment to breathe, I sprang to my feet and said, "I forgot to give these back to you."

Digging through my backpack, I retrieved the drawings he'd left in the studio. I'd hoped he'd tell me what they were, even though I had a good guess. I knelt beside him and handed the papers back.

"I was wondering where these went."

"You left them at the studio. I know I told you this already, but they're great."

He stared, then set them on the floor. "Yeah."

There it was again. That familiar demeanor where he retreated deep inside his head. It happened the last time we were here. It also happened at the party. I wasn't one to press people about their problems, but there was definitely something wrong.

"I started drawing before I painted." I pointed to his sketches on the floor, changing the subject. "My parents always joked they didn't know where mine and my sister's artistic abilities came from. She can sing, I'm good at art, but my parents are both left-brained." I chuckled.

Then I thought about my dad, and my smile faltered. "But from what I'd been told, my dad could play the piano and guitar only because anytime he put his mind to something, he'd accomplish it. Not because he was born a prodigy."

"What you've been told?" he repeated, curiously.

"He passed away from cancer when I was a kid. I remember bits and pieces. My sister took it harder than I did." Elijah stared at me like he'd seen a ghost. "But I'm good, I have an amazing stepdad—well dad—James."

I drew in a deep breath. I'm not sure why I spilled my guts.

"I don't have any siblings," he said.

I stayed silent.

"It was just me, my mom, and my dad growing up in New York."

"New York?" It surprised me.

"Yep, New York. I can tell you're definitely not from South Carolina either..."

"You're right, I'm from Pittsburgh."

"Oh, a Steelers fan." He finally smiled, and I laughed. "What made you come here?"

I rested against the wall and watched the candles flicker as the storm raged on. "For the art program, and I wanted some distance."

He gestured around the room. "That makes sense. I also wanted distance."

We both sat in silence, absorbing the information we learned about each other. Aside from Elijah playing baseball, I knew nothing about him. I guess he could say the same to me.

I didn't know how I portrayed myself to others. Cold? Friendly? Aloof? I knew I had a resting bitch face, but so did my sister Leila and that I couldn't help. Although, it warded off frat boys, so it wasn't such a terrible trait to have.

"When is your next game?"

"Why? Do you wanna come?" he grinned.

"No, I was just wondering. Isn't the draft coming up?"

"Well, the official draft is in the summer. But juniors and seniors who are good enough are being looked at all the time."

I blew out through pursed lips. "I couldn't take that kind of pressure."

"I've dealt with that kind of pressure all my life." He bobbed his shoulders. "I don't really care for all the draft talk."

I blinked, completely taken aback. I had never talked to a baseball player who didn't care about the draft, despite planning for a career in the major leagues. Anytime someone brought up the baseball team, there was always a mention of the MLB. I mean, it's all those players prepared for.

"I don't think you'll have anything to worry about," I reassured. "You're incredible at baseball."

"Did Sadie Lane actually compliment me?" He hopped to his feet and ran to the doorway, then screamed into the empty building, "Van Gogh just called me incredible!"

My cheeks burned as my lips stretched from ear to ear. "You're talking to sculptures and paintings. And my name is Sadie Garner."

He grabbed two more beers and sank onto his side. "I had to tell someone. So, you've seen me play then." He propped himself up with his elbow and grinned as he opened a bottle, passing it to me. We clinked the beers together and nursed them down.

"I may have put the game on the TV once or twice." And watched through the windows, I said internally. He looked pleased.

"What time is it?" I changed the subject yet again.

"Admit it," he began, ignoring my question.

But I ignored him back and answered it myself. "It's already 9:40. We're going to be here forever," I whined.

"You like me."

Thunder boomed outside, followed by a flash of lightning. "You can keep telling yourself that, Mr. Nice-Guy."

His bottle rattled when he set it on the floor, and my grip tightened on my drink as he inched closer. I didn't know what he was up to, but my body was already reacting to his proximity. Here we go again.

Then his fingers fanned out over my thigh, right above my knee, and I brought my drink to my lips, acting nonchalant. "I'm still not letting you kiss me," I said after sipping.

"I'm not going to kiss you." Then what was he going to do? He was so close. "I'm just looking at you."

But he looked for too long, because those foolish butterflies in my belly were uncontrollable now, and they whispered for me to get off my high-horse and kiss him.

Once again, I was battling myself, but my stamina was low.

"Elijah, I—" My mouth froze as I tried conjuring the words to explain my fears.

Even after three years, I was burning with embarrassment.

How could I tell Elijah that the first boy I had given myself to—physically and emotionally—had disappeared after we spent the night together? How he blocked me on every social media account and over text. The only time I got in contact with him, I was told I had the wrong number.

I spent month after month putting myself back together, having none of the right tools. I mean, you can't truly prepare for heartbreak, but I didn't expect to do such a shitty job trying to fix myself.

Elijah's eyes opened wider, ready for my confession, but then my phone rang and our heads jerked to the bright light.

Seeing Reva's name plastered across my screen never made me happier.

"I'm so sorry. I have to take this. It's Reva." I grabbed my phone and dashed to the hallway. "Hey, are you alright?" I asked, feeling like I could finally breathe.

"We're stuck at this stupid frat house and I'm losing my damn mind. Where are you?"

"I'm stuck at the studio."

"Damn. Lucy told us to hop in some random car when it started raining and now we don't have a ride home."

I tapped my foot. "I can come to get you guys."

"Are you sure? It's pretty bad out there."

"Yes, I'll be fine. Text me the address."

She thanked me copious times and told me to be safe, then we got off. When I walked back into the classroom, Elijah was shoving empty bottles into his bag.

"My friends are stuck at a frat house, I have to go pick them up."

"The storm is still bad."

I grabbed my backpack, ready to flee. "I'll be okay."

"I'd feel a lot better if you let me drive, please."

He stared, waiting for me to budge. I glanced at the pounding rain. He was probably right. I shouldn't drive. However, I couldn't take being in here much longer. I didn't want him to drop me off. Then again, I don't think he'd let me off that easily.

He took my hefty sigh as a yes and asked, "Where do we have to go?"

"At TKE annex on Main Street."

He blew out the candles and the room went dark, aside from the sporadic flashes of lightning. "Ready to go out in the rain?"

By the time we made it to his car, we were drenched. I practically fell into the passenger seat and slammed the door, his scent encompassing me. His car was just as clean as when Jayce drove it.

The heat from the vents blasted us when he turned the key. I watched my car disappear the further we drove from the school. I guessed I would pick it up tomorrow with Reva.

Even through the pummeling rain, the car ride was more awkward than the studio.

"Let's see what thee Elijah Preston listens to," I teased, turning the knob. "Pink + White" by Frank Ocean droned through the speakers and I leaned back, watching the droplets coat the glass.

"Well?"

"I love Frank. He's phenomenal. But I was expecting country or something."

He made a gagging sound. "Never. What's your favorite Frank song?"

"That's hard to pick. I love the entire Blonde album, but Seigfried is one of my favorites."

He clicked through the album until "Seigfried" came on, and we listened in silence. Throughout the song, I peeked at him from my periphery. His finger drummed against the leather steering wheel, and he bobbed his head to the beat. He looked adorable.

I couldn't imagine seeing him out in public after tonight. Now every time I look at him, all I'll think about was what it would've felt like to kiss him. Just my luck.

We pulled in front of the fraternity house, still glowing in LED lights regardless of the weather. Looks like their power stayed on. I texted Reva that I was here in a black car instead of red. She texted a question mark, then appeared at the front door with the girls... and Dustin.

Elijah got out of the car and opened the door for my friends to pile inside. My skin prickled when Dustin and I made eye contact before Elijah slid back into the driver's seat and closed the door.

Reva grabbed my shoulder. "What the fuck, Sadie," she whispered. I knew she was talking about me being with Elijah. The other girls were too drunk to say anything but thanked him for picking them up.

"Where to now?" Elijah asked. I gave him the address, and we were on our way.

"Dustin was asking for you, Si!" Lucy said. "He was sad you didn't come."

I looked at Elijah at the mention of Dustin, but he didn't move. He kept his eyes glued to the road.

"I'm surprised he remembered."

"How could he forget kissing you?" Iya added.

I almost opened the car door and flung myself onto the road. What perfect timing to bring up the cup-pong dare. I ignored their drunken small talk for the rest of the car ride.

When we pulled in front of the apartment, the girls hung onto each other and scaled the stairs, but I stayed back. "Thank you for driving us home."

"No problem."

It grew quiet.

"Sorry I ruined your Friday."

"What? You didn't ruin my Friday. I had a good night." He reached over and pinched my chin. "I'll see you around, Van Gogh."

It took a beat for me to force a smile on my face.

"Goodnight, Elijah," I finally said and hiked up to my apartment.

When I got inside, all four of the girls stood at the kitchen island and stared. I didn't give them the light of day. I practically ran to my room.

"Aren't you going to tell us why you were with Elijah?" Reva shouted.

"Maybe another time. Night!" I closed my door and sank against the wood, running my fingers over the spot Elijah has just touched me.

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QOTD: What would your fantasy world consist of?

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annasteffeyy

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