Chapter 36:

Arriving to work together at 9:20-thanks to Landon. The morning was off to a rough start and I knew I had lost the real Landon because of what occurred yesterday with his mother. And my six "Are you okay?" Today didn't help either, he would just reply with "I'm fine."

I was stuck in the mud with the situation, and with a kiss to my forehead he disappeared into his office -which I assumed he was going to be in there until meetings. He only had three today last time I checked.

Looking at my schedule and seeing I had lunch at 1-which was perfect for me. But in the meantime I put myself to work on doing my job.

Sitting back in my chair, I contemplated if I was really going to go through with my plan. Searching up on google for Landon's Wikipedia, I clicked his Dad's name in search of one person.

Spouses.

Finding exactly who I was looking for I clicked her name.

Anthea Harrison. Formally known as Anthea Hale.

Bingo.

She was into interior design and I spotted her email in a matter of seconds. Without much thought I sent her an email asking her we should meet for my lunch time, I waited ten minutes and my foot wouldn't stop bobbing and to take my mind off of it, I resumed working waiting for her reply.

I jumped startled after what seemed like twenty minutes more had passed to my computer chiming.

I can meet you, I'm on my way to lunch myself at the moment. ~Anthea Harrison.

Gathering my stuff I made quick work to shoot back out in email to let her know where to meet me and I head to Landon's office. "Hey." I poked my head in.

He looks me over seeing me having my things and before he could ask I answered his question. "I'm going out to lunch, can I get the keys?"

"By yourself?"

I'm going to regret this.

"No with Adaline." I smiled sweetly at him and he fumbled around his papers looking for the keys, but I spotted them and walked over to them that was laying under a stack.

"Sorry for that." He rubbed his hand over his face. "Just a lot going on." He apologized but there was nothing to apologize for.

"It's okay." I walked around to him giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Don't wait up."

"Be safe, I don't need both of you getting hurt."

"Who?" Just a pinch of jealousy sourced through me.

"The car and you, I can only replace one, oh and of course Adaline.. forgot about her." He tried to clear his name at my facial expression. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you want to rip my head off."

"It's not that." I sighed. "I'll see you in a few, do you want anything?"

"No baby, I'm good." He continued working. "Our second meeting should be around the time you get back then after work we can go out for dinner if you want."

"No cooking?"

"No cooking." His eyes twinkled and I smiled, we were getting somewhere.

"Bye babe." Giving him another kiss, I hurried out of his office in search of Adaline.

"Adaline!" I called her name seeing she was in the lounge as usual, I began to wonder what her job was around here.

"What?!" She jumped and we both watched her coffee swish around in her mug but some dropped on her. "Shit!" She began shaking her hand out while throwing me a glare. "You better have a good reason for this."

"When's your lunch break?"

"In about 20 minutes, why?" She sucked between her pointed finger and her thumb to soothe the pain.

"I need you to stay away from Landon please."

"You act like I go near him anyway, not everyone can handle the boss."

"I know but.. this time it's important, he might be caged in his office for the rest of the day but steer clear of him."

"Okay?"

"I'll explain when I get back okay? Thank you." I reach to give her a hug but she holds her hand out, stopping me.

"A handshake will do, I don't need my coffee spilling on me and giving me first degree burns."

"Deal."

Making quick work to exit the building, I put the address into the GPS and in about fifteen minutes or less I made it.

She was sitting outside- which was odd- with coffee and her untouched food sitting in front of her and she was on the phone.

After seeing me step out of the car she made quick work to get off the phone. "I'll call you right back."

Pulling the chair out across from her, I sat. "I just want to thank you for wanting to talk to me." She started speaking right off the bat and I nodded my head before looking her over.

She was a beautiful lady, she still looked kind of young for her age. Her hair was pinned up and she was wearing a baby blue dress. "Likewise."

It grew quiet but I wasn't going to let it turn anymore awkward than what it was. "Uh.. I know you don't know me." I fidgeted in my seat before continuing. "But your son is important to me and I don't like to see him like this."

"Like what?"

"In pain, overthinking, being stressed out.."

"And how do you think I feel?" She sat up but I stayed firm in my position. "It was my fault and I know that it takes time-" I was beginning to speak but she held up her hand to let her finish. "I had my reasons for leaving."

"Which were?"

"I left because of his father."

"Richard?" What could he had done?

"It's not what you think." She confirmed my thoughts of him abusing her. "But we would always fight, he would tell me he was busy with work all the time and I had to deal with the kids most of the time- Landon and Liam that is- and I became depressed. I wouldn't eat and barely sleep because I felt like I was losing everything. At the time I didn't work for a dime because I was living the life but it was far from that." She sighed before continuing.

"I became desperate." She put her phone on the table before folding her hands together. "I didn't know how to cope and then I met the man that I thought was the savior in my dreams and it turned out I was turning myself over the devil. I was a drunk because of him, it made me feel better. And I became a alcoholic and that's when Richard started to notice because the kids would run to him."

"Wait let me get this straight.." I thought of a good way to put this but either way it wouldn't have sounded good. "You did this because you needed attention?"

"Yes and no." She shook her head. "Imagine yourself with two kids and the man that you love spends his time away from you guys like you were the problem. I gained weight in places were fat should be illegal, and my self confidence went downhill, of course I assumed he was cheating on me."

"And was he?" I asked.

"He had a mistress, yes. But I can't tell that story because I'll be making him a villain to the boys."

"So you left?"

"And didn't look back." She sucked her in her bottom lip before looking away to the moving cars that were passing by. "I told him I was leaving and I had my ex husband there with me and I saw him put his hands on my son. And I knew I wasn't going to win in court to get my kids." She straightened up.

"So I told myself that day I was going to get back sober and get my life back together so I can have them by my side, but that door closed when the lunatic of a man I thought was good, closed mine."

"I fought him everyday for as long as I can remember and one day I had enough.. I almost killed him almost." Her hands were vibrating and I reached over to console her. "And when I got clean.. I realized then how many years had passed. Were they okay without me? I knew they were safe but how were they? Any girlfriends? What did they enjoy? And I couldn't even answer those questions."

"It bothered me. So I came back for them and I started with Liam first because he really couldn't remember why I had just up and left, and Richard granted me that wish to tell him. He took it better than Landon for sure."

"Yeah I would bet." Landon and Liam have two different personalities for certain.

"I'll never forget the look on his face though." She almost looked like she was going to cry but she stayed firm and not letting the tears drop. "When he was pushed and hit by that man and he looked at me with pure horror that I would let something bad happen to him because I was 'mommy' and the worse part I couldn't even help, I couldn't help myself at the time."

"It's okay." I tried to sound positive for her.

"It's not." She snatched her hands away from me not out of hatred but because she knew I was telling her a lie. "I can't even talk to my son because of my stupid fucking mistake. I risked him for the sake of my loneliness and look where that's gotten me? Nowhere. And I'm surprised he even let you come see me."

Oh about that..

I sheepishly sink myself into my chair and her eyes widen in alarm. "He doesn't know?!"

"Not yet."

"Oh you just dug yourself a grave." She fanned herself before looking at her watch. "You suggest you get back to him."

Pulling my phone out of my purse I look at the time. "Shit!" I jumped up, my manners clearly left me in that moment. "I'm sorry I have to go."

"Understandable." She began wrapping up her lunch and she passed me her untouched wrapped burrito. "Since you didn't eat anything."

"Thank you." And with a smile and left her sitting where she was. "It was nice speaking with you."

"You too dear." She held up her hand with a single wave goodbye. "Travel safe."

And with a newfound sense of hope I headed back to the office.

Hearing the elevator chime signaling me that it was time to be let out I see Adaline rushing up to me like she was waiting for me.

"I'm so sorry." She gulped, her eyes were wide. "I decided at the wrong moment to go to the printer and.."

"He saw you." My eyes widen in horror. "Did he look upset? What happened?" Feeling a linger of eyes on us, I opened the supply closet stepping in with her.

"He asked for you and I panicked, he knew I was lying because trust me I'm horrible at it, he left to go to the surveillance room."

"I'm in trouble." My closed my eyes shut.

"Where did you go?"

"I'll tell you later but for right now we need to get out of this supply closet people are going to assume I batting for the other team."

"Right." We both scurried out of there and she went back to her work or whatever she was busy doing.

I thought I was safe but seeing him coming around the corner, my eyes widen, before trying to quickly go to the safety of my office.

"Embre." I heard my name and it sent chills throughout my body but not in a good way. I ignored him as if I was on my phone and I quickly went into my office closing the door shut. I prayed silently to myself that he would just ignore me and go back to work, but he didn't.

"Yes?" I answered after hearing him knock three times the door.

"Open the door."

"We're not good talking like this?" I didn't want to open the door, just like getting my hand caught in the cookie jar. Busted.

"Open. The. Door." He emphasized his words this time, his voice was hard and if I didn't know better I would say his next option was to knock my door down.

Sighing, accepting my defeat, I opened the door and stepped away from it, letting him in. I ignored his expression while going to sit in my seat.

"Where the hell were you?" He questioned before I could prepare myself for what was coming.

"I was at lunch." That was obvious enough.

"With?"

"Adaline." I continued to lie, but he caught my slip up already.

"Don't lie to me. I saw her and turns out you were no where to be found."

Damn.

"Uh." I was lost for words. "She maybe just arrived before me.. I don't know."

Walking up to my desk and he placed his hands flat on the table, as if he was a cop interrogating a wanted criminal. "Where were you?" He said the words slow almost deadly, leaving me no room to find a lie.

"You're going to be mad at me." I looked down at my lap, making eye contact was not on my list right now.

"Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me."

There was no way getting out of this so I said the truth. "It was... your mother."

"With who?" He didn't hear me because of how fast I was trying to say it.

"Your.. mother."

He paused.

What did she just say?

"Why would you go see her?" My expression was blank... I was expecting anything else. Anything but that.

"I was trying to help and-"

"Didn't I tell you that I didn't care?" My hands travelled to the edge of her desk before my grip tightened on the wood material.

"Yes, but Landon you should talk-" She starts again, her eyes pleading with me to hear her out but the angry inside of me was getting the best of me.

"I don't want to and I never will." She let out a sigh of annoyance.

That makes two of us.

"You don't understand she told me-" She tried again.

Did I give a fuck? No, I didn't care what was she was telling her. She was probably feeding her bullshit, just like she has tried to before with me. "She's lying."

"Landon she might be telling the truth."

I scoff. "So you lied to me." I paused to format this right in my head. "Instead of telling me the truth of where you were going and you lied again just now in front of my face and now you want me to believe another lie?!" My voice was rising, how many lies was I going to receive? These weren't white lies that could be forgotten.

"I didn't lie!" She raised her voice at me and I released my grip on her desk to stand up straight.

"Then what do you call it!" I yelled back at her. "You went behind my back to go talk to her. The one person I didn't want around you and now you want to make me believe you? You told me you understood me, but it's clear you didn't." I laughed to myself, it was clear that I wasn't suppose to be happy. "Why bother?"

I left, I didn't have the energy to deal with this anymore. I lost the battle before it could even start.

Slamming my door shut and locking it, that was it's on sign to everyone in here to leave me the hell alone. I had a company to run and that's what I continued to do- it's all I could do to take my mind off what just happened.

What just happened? I stand up about to walk after him but I hear his door slam and I can tell from that he doesn't want to be bothered with...me. I felt a tear side down my face not realizing it and I quickly wiped it away.

I go and sit back down in my chair again. I decide that I would try to talk to him when we get home because I don't want to mix work with my boyfriend.

Someone knocks on my door and I open it to find Adaline. "Are you okay?" She asked me and I shook my head no and she fully walked in.

"I heard," She commented, pointing behind her indicating Landon.

"I'm pretty sure a few people did," I spoke quietly.

"Just give him some time," She tried to reassure me.

"Sure." She lets go of me but I continue "This is all so fucked up, I was trying to help because I knew he would never want to talk to her."

"At least you tried. I mean I think I would do the same if Josh had those same issues, but it's all about respect."

"Yeah."

"No more pouting because if he wasn't my boss I would rearrange his face," She said with a wink, but we both knew that was nowhere remotely true.

"Let's get back to work."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Shutting down my computer for the night, I gathered my things before heading to his office.

Knocking on his door, I didn't hear the usually 'Come in.' instead he opened the door. "H-hi." I stuttered out, but he walked passed me while putting on his suit jacket. I looked into his office, to see everything completely shut down and his light off.

I turned to see him pressing the elevator button and- with a sigh- I followed behind him. We got in and almost like he was robotic, he pressed the number for us to descend.

He stood in front of the buttons while leaning against the elevator wall with his eyes closed, if I didn't know better I would say he was sleeping.

"Landon." I tried, and it worked as he opened his eyes but what I didn't expect was his once warm eyes to look at me the way he did.

His eyes were set in stone, not moving. It was as if he were looking at a complete stranger.. like he didn't know me anymore.

The doors open and he stepped out and like a lost puppy, I followed. "Make sure you lock the place down." He said to the reception lady, and I scowled annoyingly once seeing her smiling like she won the lottery.

Opening his company door, he waited for me to exit before heading to his car. He popped open the car door for me to enter before he walked over to his side, settling in.

And we headed home.

I looked out the window most of the time, but occasionally I would make small glances to see him.

He would usually reach out the grab my hand or place his hand on my thigh but he didn't do any of that, and I was starting to crave it.

We sat in silence and I was debating if I should play music but he might think I wasn't taking this situation seriously.

Soon, we arrived at his house and once he put the car in park he was out of the car, heading into the house.

"Landon," I start, catching up to him. He takes off his suit jacket heading up the stairs, ignoring me.

"Landon," I pressed again a little louder, making sure he heard me.

He continued anyway and I can see he's heading into his room and I quickly stop him by rushing in front of him.

"Talk to me," I plead with him, and he closed his eyes as if he were annoyed, stepping away from me and I follow after him. "Yell at me. Scream. Anything but this."

"What do you want me to say Embre?" He asked- his voice cold- looking down at me.

"That you forgive me," I requested, reaching my hand out, wanting to feel his warmth again but he steps back again and I drop my hand.

"You think it's easy to just forgive don't you?" His laughed mocked me, almost taunting me.

"I'm sor-" He cuts me off.

"It still doesn't matter you went to go see her and you didn't even tell me." His voice didn't raise, not even in the slightest. He tried to side step me to get passed me but I put my hand on his chest, feeling the cold material meeting his warmth.

"Because I knew you wouldn't let me go! Landon I was trying to help. I know you didn't want to talk to-"

"Do you think I want her around you." He gripped my hand firmly in his grasp before releasing it from his chest. "I already have everything that I want and I don't need her in my life."

"She's still your mother." I tried to reason with him, and he once again tried to get pass me and this time, I let him go.

"She left for a reason and she decided to abandon me and my family so I'm done with her."

"You don't even care on what she has to say?" He turned to face me.

His eyes were blank. "I don't, if I cared it would have been a long time ago. And I would have done it by myself." He confirmed.

"Can you at least forgive me?" I tried to keep my voice in check, but it failed me as it cracked.

He didn't answer.

Nodding my head in understanding and disbelief, I took my leave.

I seriously fucked up.