~I can't forget. The sun don't set for me.~ Freya Ridings.

•••

Spring is that season that usually brings a feeling of refined bliss.

The temperature is mild and soothing, possessing a delicate warmth that spans widely over the earth. The grasses are a soft green that resembles a hint of blue and the balm air leaks the sweet scent of pollen and blooming flowers. Despite the clemency of the weather, however, Rainey cannot help feeling like it's winter on the inside. Her heart is cold and empty, and no amount of May's vibrant sunshine can thaw her soul.

"Slate?"

"Rainey."

"Rainey Slate?"

She snaps her eyes from the window and to Ms. Forbes who is inspecting her from beneath her thick-rimmed glasses. She shrinks into her shoulders as the lady perches against her desk.

"What is Logic in Mathematics?"

She had spaced out once again. Her days have been a lot like this lately. She constantly becomes detached from her surroundings with only thoughts of Ansel raiding her mind. It has become a new norm for her these past three weeks and it only worsens as each day goes by.

She glances around at the many staring faces; Riley among them, giving her friend a soft smile of encouragement.

"Slate?" Ms. Forbes prims her lips expectantly, but noticeably, her face isn't hard this time. Traces of patience and gentleness can be seen in her beady chestnut eyes.

"Do you know the answer?"

"Uh..." Rainey stares at a graffiti on the hardwood desk, rubbing her palms together. "Logic is the foundation which underlies mathematical logic and the rest of mathematics. It tries to formalize valid reasoning. In particular, it attempts to define what constitutes a proof."

Ms. Forbes nods in approval. "Very well, Slate."

The distant girl wastes no time to absentmindedly drag her eyes back to the window. Riley, who is sitting just a row away, gauges her with sad eyes before chewing on her lip and focusing back to her notebook.

"That's it for today, remember to revise for the end of year exams starting next week." Ms. Forbes gathers her files and the class begins their noisy gibbering as she regards the distracted teen at the back of the room. "Slate? Can I speak with you?"

Looking away from the evening scenery, Rainey dispatches a soft sigh before reluctantly grabbing her bag from the ground. She sluggishly strides up to the front of the room while pushing her arms through the leather straps.

"Yes?"

The teacher's lips stretch in a wrinkly smile. "You weren't here last week, we returned the group assignments, but since Ansel King—"

She stops short and Rainey drops her eyes as her heart rips for the hundredth time today.

"Anyway, I just thought you could keep the paper." She takes up a thick brown binder from her desk before pushing her glasses up on the bridge of her nose. She ruffles through the file of papers while Rainey glances back at Riley, silently telling her that she'll be there in a minute.

"Here it is. You both did so well."

Training her eyes on the lady, Rainey slowly retrieves the outstretched paper from her hand. As soon as she inspects it, her stomach tightens. It was the Math group project she and Ansel had done a while back. She stares at his perfect handwriting for a while and memories of that moment in her room come rushing back.

"This has got to be wrong."

Ansel chuckles. "Let me see."

He leans over to see what she has. His face is unintentionally close to hers that she can feel his minty breath slapping her cheeks.

"Oh, I think I know what the issue is," He takes her book and shifts so he sits directly beside her. She tries to ignore the weird feeling his knee touching her thigh gives as she focuses on his explanation.

"So, the issue is that you didn't rewrite the power as an equivalent expression."

She blinks her eyes cluelessly. "Huh?"

He tries to suppress a smile. "Okay, so the thing is, whenever the power contains a negative exponent, you rewrite the power as an equivalent expression with a positive exponent by taking the reciprocal. Do you understand?"

She smiles a little. "I guess."

He laughs. "That's a 'no' then. I'll show you."

Her vision becomes blurry as she stares at the paper, wallowing in a pool of bittersweet flashbacks.

"You both are so strong in the subject—" Ms. Forbes catches herself quickly. "Sorry, I mean, was-he was strong in the subject..."

Rainey bites the inside of her cheek before checking their score at the right-hand corner of the paper.

100%.

With glossy eyes, she quickly swings her bag around to stuff the paper in. "T-thank you..."

Ms. Forbes hears the crack in her tone and emits a soft sigh. "I am sorry, Slate. I heard you two were close."

Rainey cannot bear talking about this anymore. At this rate, she's bound to lose her sanity. She wipes her nose with her knuckle and nods to the teacher. "I have to go."

Ms. Forbes opens her mouth to add a remark, but her student is already walking away, causing her shoulders to sag in pity.

•••

"You know tonight, we could watch The Walking Dead and order in?" Riley suggests while she leans against the opposite locker, gripping the straps of her bag with a gentle beam. "We could use the Penthouse movie room."

Rainey shakes her head as she grabs the heavy physics book from her opened knapsack, stuffing it into her locker. "I think I'm just gonna go to bed early tonight."

Riley exhales. She is starting to worry about her friend's mental health. Rainey has not been herself lately which is understandable. Losing someone who meant the world to you could destroy even the strongest of persons.

Whenever the two girls would arrive home from school, Rainey would immediately abrogate; locking herself in her room and would not come out until the following morning. They would hear her screams of grievances but would be unable to reach out to her since she keeps her door closed during her consistent episodes. Riley knows that this is hard for her, but she fears the outcome of her friend's constant isolation.

A voice comes from beside them and the girls turn their eyes in the direction.

"Hey, Rainey." Olivia smiles sadly; Lisa standing next to her with a similar gaze of sympathy. Rainey cannot bear to see the pitiful faces, and so she quickly looks away, stuffing more books into the metal space with tightly pressed lips.

Riley crosses her arms. "What do you guys want?"

"I heard what happened with Ansel." Olivia sighs, nervously fiddling with her fingers. "I am sorry; I know how painful his death must be for you. If I had known this would happen, I would have never—"

"You would have never what? Bully her?" Riley feistily raises her eyebrows, cocking her head to the side as her black hair follows.

The girls exchange guilty faces before Olivia speaks again. "Yeah. I was very mean to her and I am sorry. Jace says he's sorry too."

"Me too. I'm sorry," adds Lisa while she stares at her white ballet flats.

Rainey closes her locker intentionally loud and exhales thickly. She looks at the two remorseful girls.

"To be honest, I haven't thought about you guys since that whole bathroom incident; I forgot that you all existed. I have too much on my plate." And with that, she turns around and walks off. Riley gives them one last glance before easing up from the locker and following her.

"What did she say?" Jace and Tate have now appeared beside the culpable girls, watching as Rainey and Riley disappear around the corner. "Did she accept our apology?"

Oliva's shoulders lift in a shrug as she juts her lips. "I don't know. She said she forgot we existed."

"Is that a yes?" Jace scratches his head with a dumb look on his face, and Tate rolls his eyes before walking off in the direction the girls had left in.

As Riley and Rainey exit the doors of the school, the pitch-dark JMC van at the entrance catches their attention. After the detrimental predicament, some weeks ago with Ron Moretto, Rainey's dad had ordered that Marco picks the girls up from school every day. Robert had everyone staying at a posh penthouse up in the hills of Crosshill. The area is secluded and tightly secured with cameras and alarm systems at each corner of the house.

Marco, who is standing at the back-door waves to the girls and Riley grins as she offers a greeting back.

"He's here early today." Turning her head to look at Rainey, she discovers that her friend is not beside her but slowly strolling a few feet behind. She stops in her tracks to watch her. Her head is bent as she bleakly gazes at her leather boots. Understanding that she is lost inside her mind once again, Riley jogs up to meet her halfway, playfully nudging her as she walks in line with her. "Hey~ cheer up, mm?"

"Girls! Wait up!"

A masculine voice from behind causes both girls to halt their steps, turning around as Tate jogs up to them, his dark mop of hair bobbing against his forehead.

Finally coming to a rushed stop, he tiredly braces his waists while puffing air from his cheeks. "Uh, I just wanted to tell you guys about this party I'm having tonight," he starts, catching his breath as he forks his hair back. "It's at my place, at eight."

Riley looks to Rainey for feedback, but she is busy staring out into the distance wistfully.

"It would be fun," Tate adds, "and a great opportunity to unwind...you know..." He glances at Rainey, whose head is now hung as she kicks the dust with her foot.

"Mm..." Riley adjusts her straps. "Yeah, it does sound great. What do you think, Rain?"

"I am tired," she answers, looking up at Tate while using her palm to block the sunlight blinding her eyes. "Maybe next time."

Tate's eyes cloud with sympathy and he nods in understanding. "Alright...well, next time it is. Don't forget." He grins at her and she renders a tight one back before turning away.

"See you around, Tate." Riley waves to him, and he uses a finger to salute her.

"Yeah, sure thing."

She throws an arm around her best friend as they move toward the car. Marco opens the door of the backseat and both girls pile in before he closes it and gets around to the driver's side.

"How was school today, girls?" He snaps his seatbelt then proceeds to adjust his top mirror.

"It was lame. Same old stuff. We got a test in Physics," Riley shrugs. She looks over at Rainey, who has an absent expression while she retrieves her blue water bottle from the side of her rucksack. "Rainey got a 100 for her math project."

Marco gasps dramatically and Rainey puts the water to her lips as she looks out the window.

"Math sucks, I don't know how you do it," Marco responds, starting up the engine before propelling out of the school grounds.

•••

The journey home is quiet, and Rainey can feel the eyes of both Marco and Riley as they traverse home. She keeps her vision trained on the elements outside her window, not wanting to exchange eye-contact with the two pitiful pair.

She is just riding the waves, going with the flow. Her life feels meaningless without Ansel. He had taken a huge mass of her soul when he left and now, she does not see the purpose to go on living.

The days and nights seem longer without him as if she's stuck in this endless loop, unable to break free. She's tormented on the inside as her mind constantly revisits the last few moments before he fell off that precipice. His eyes were so void and lifeless, and it pains her each time she recalls that he did it all for her.

He took a bullet for her.

He's a hypocrite. That's what she thinks. He was so mad when she chose to give herself up on his behalf and now, he jumped in her path and took a bullet to his chest...on her behalf. Nothing she could ever do would ever be able to repay what he did for her. She doesn't deserve his unconditional love and perhaps if she had just followed through with keeping her distance from his family, he would still be alive. She misses him, and no-one will ever be able to understand the level of heartache she is experiencing. If only she could call a conference with God and the angels and ask if she could switch places with him. He deserves to be here; he deserves to be alive.

Marco stops at the entrance to the penthouse where a guardhouse is situated. After presenting his ID for the hundredth time since they have been there, the security officer raises the bar and grants him access. The procedure must be repeated daily since Mr. Robert changes the security officers every twelve hours.

The car drives down a narrow road, and the towering green trees encasing it forms dark shadows on Rainey's face during each of their passing. The area is isolated and cool with the fresh scent of flowers marinating the atmosphere.

As they get closer, the three-story white and grey penthouse comes into view. It stands tall on a large mountain peak area with most of its structure made up of glass. The landscape is surrounded mostly by green healthy grass, and two tall crystal light posts adorn the entrance of the spacious gateway. An ancient fountain is in the center of the front landing, with fresh water springing from the sculpted chalice being elegantly held by a masculine statue. The aerie is lavishly modern.

Marco lets the girls off at the entrance then drives around the spherical driveway to park the car at the back of the house. They stroll up the large circular steps and make their way inside, immediately discovering that the house is quiet, with no sign of human life.

"No-one's here," Riley comments. "Alex should be home from school soon though."

Rainey doesn't offer a response and instead slips her leather boots off at the door before putting them at the corner. This has become a newfound habit of hers after spending time around the King family. Their traditions and tendencies have drastically rubbed off on her.

The inside of the penthouse is just as aesthetically pleasing as the outside. The white and grey decor with the aid of the transparent walls gives the house a bright glow even at nights. There is a large glass window in the ceiling and downlight crystal chandeliers hang gracefully from different sections of the roof.

Rainey's socks faintly skid against the marble flooring as she hurries toward the modern staircase, mounting the steps in a rush to get to her room. Riley sighs as she hurls her knapsack onto the white sofa, pulling her tie from her neck as she gazes in the direction her friend had left in.

The broken girl has been waiting all day to be back home. Repressing her tears for the past eight hours has taken a chunk load of energy and she isn't sure how much longer she can keep them at bay. She is happy she can now be alone to let it all out.

Carelessly throwing her knapsack onto the ground, Rainey jumps in bed and buries her face into her pillow, allowing the tears to flow unrestrainedly. A choked sob leaves her, followed by a louder cry until she's wailing non-stop at the top of her lungs. The pillow is almost suffocating her, but it isn't as smothering as the boy, whom she had built her world around, being gone.

This is all her fault. She was the one who impulsively went to sought out Ron Moretto. She caused this. She killed him.

Guilt takes its place in her heart, shattering her arteries and taking full control of her emotions. Loud, gut-ripping sobs tore through her chest as she squishes her face into the pillow, her tears soaking its material like river escaping a dam. She is drowning mentally in a pool of remorse, and lost, and heartache. It is all too much.

"Why did you leave me...?" She pules. "Why did you leave me here?! Why did you do this to me? You said you wouldn't!"

She wishes he could hear how broken she is without him. How lost and hopeless she is.

"Rainey!" Riley twists the knob, immediately discovering that it is locked. She bangs softly on the door before pressing her forehead there. "Rain, we can talk about it. Open the door, please."

In between her sobs, she eases up to lift the pillow from beneath her, pressing it over her head to block her friend's voice out. If she doesn't cry, she's sure she'll die. The heartache will be enough to kill her. She just needs to keep crying, even if it's forever.

She knows Riley cares deeply about her, but no amount of talking will ever be able to heal her. The one person who'd make things better is—sadly— six feet under.

•••

It seems like forever when she finally stops crying and sits up in bed, staring at the promise ring encircling her finger. Twilight has now fallen, and she can see the young night sky from where she sits. It's a beautiful scenery of technicolor, tattooing the earth with a soft orange glow as the sun sets behind the horizon.

She gets out of bed and strolls unsteadily over to the transparent wall. She pulls back the cool blue curtains and gazes down at where Marco sits in the pool area, sipping on a beer while peering out at the wide stretch of city lights below. The view is beautiful and if only she were not feeling this depressed, she would have gone for a swim.

Finding a bit of strength within her, she toddles to the bathroom to take a needed shower. After spending another full hour crying in the tub, she returns to her room with wrinkly fingers and toes. She throws on a black oversized sleep shirt then slips on a pair of grey socks before leaving her room.

Descending the glass stairway, she sees Riley sitting on the sofa while watching Tv. Her hair is tied up in a small messy bun and she's wearing a large bed-shirt just like Rainey's. The only difference is Riley's is pink with an image of a tweety-bird imprinted on the front whilst Rainey's is just a solid black with no design.

At the sound of the footsteps, she looks up from the screen, offering a little smile as Rainey walks over to the settee. She sits next to her, staring at what is being shown on the huge television while she rests her hands in her lap. It's a stage performance of a music group but the songs are being sung in a foreign language.

"Who are they?" She quietly asks.

Riley looks at her with a soft beam. She is elated that Rainey is finally trying to converse. Patently, she hasn't been interacting much. Most of her days have been spent staring in space or just being distant from everyone. Riley is lucky to get a full sentence out of her.

"It's this K-pop group; BTS. Kept hearing about them on Instagram, so I just wanted to check them out. You know, to see what the fuss is about." Riley smiles, grabbing a white furry cushion and tucking it beneath her stomach. "They are cool so far."

Rainey nods silently as she continues to watch the virtual concert. A stillness hangs between them. Riley wants to offer some form of consolation, but she doesn't want to reopen Rainey's sensitive wound. She came out of her room on her own and even attempted to strike up a conversation, she'd hate to push her back into that unresponsive place.

"I am sorry."

Riley's face lulls at the almost soundless apology and she looks over at her with soft twinkling eyes.