《Then You Look At Me |COMPLETED|》Feels
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~But when it feels this good then it just come natural~ Miguel.
Why are you so beautiful, Rain? You are so perfect.
Those words are the only occupants of my mind while I sit on the motel bed, browsing through the cable channels for something that can hopefully filter my thoughts.
I can hear the shower running as Ansel's takes his bath and I have no idea why splattering water against tiles makes me feel this flushed. Maybe it is the fact that he is practically nude just a door away from me.
Ever since that intense make-out session, I cannot seem to un-feel his touch. I should stop thinking about it; it's not gentle on my hormones, but it does not help my case that each time I close my eyes, his face, his smile and the way his eyes appeared when he gazed at me, keeps popping up.
I sigh as I switch the channel, slightly stiffening when I hear the shower switches off. I sit up straight, my back against the mahogany headboard while I attempt to make it seem like he is not the current resident of my mind.
Ansel steps out of the bathroom. His hair is damp from the shower. Luckily, he is wearing his T-shirt. I do not know how I would have handled him being shirtless; that would blow my cover of appearing unphased.
"What are you watching?" He asks casually, crashing beside me.
The bed dips as his mild fresh scent fills the air, and just the simple contact of his knee against my leg causes a weird feeling in my body.
"I have no idea; I'm just browsing through channels, hoping to find something interesting."
A silence falls between us, and I randomly choose a movie, hoping that it will make me feel less awkward.
Ansel pulls himself back to lean against the headboard as we absorb the film being played on the screen. We are not even five minutes in when a couple begins to indulge in full-blown kissing. The man's hand is in the lady's hair while she wraps her arms around him, the two grinding against each other in fiery passion.
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I jerk my legs anxiously. Considering what just happened between Ansel and me, this scene makes me feel awfully uneasy, but maybe they will leave it at just a kiss and move along with the plot, right?
Wrong.
They begin to undress, and I fidget in discomfort, my cheeks running crimson when I realize where the foreplay is heading. I glance at Ansel; whose face is red, but he attempts to act casual, tapping his finger against his knee.
Okay. I should just switch this.
I grab the remote, instantly changing the channel, but immediately regretting it when a vivid sex scene begins to play out.
What the hell, why would they air something this erotic?
I cough, mindlessly tapping what I think to be 'skip' but instead the volume raises as the uncensored film runs on the screen, the characters uttering series of pleasure noises. I hastily switch the channel to an animated cartoon and Ansel chuckles, causing me to turn sheepish eyes in his direction. "What?"
He shakes his head, fighting back a smile. "Nothing. We don't have to watch Tv...if it's not comfortable for you."
"No, it's not like that...I am just not a fan of—sex scenes." I attempt to elaborate, and he smiles, nodding his head. "I can tell..."
He stares at me and the butterflies begin their conference in my stomach.
"I'm going to get some rest." I motion to move away, but he holds onto my hand quickly. I meet his eyes. The blue glow from the Tv glistens in them, making them a lot more mesmerizing. My gaze falls to his hand in mine and my heart flips in my chest at how perfect the sight is. Above the squeaky voices of the cartoon characters, he speaks. His tone is soft and serene.
"Would you like to sleep with me?"
I blink my eyes, the blushes on my face taking on a new shade. "H-huh?"
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Noticing the look on my face, Ansel smiles softly. "Like, lay beside me. There are two beds anyway and Alex could use that one and we could share this one...if you want."
Oh.
I gulp uneasily. "Okay..."
"Is that comfortable for you?"
I nod my head, and he smiles a little, reaching for the remote and switching the Tv off. He lays back and I do the same as he pulls the duvet up to our bodies. We stare at the ceiling in silence, my heart furiously hitting against my rib cage. Just the mere fact that we are in one bed makes my body consume with tingles.
He turns his face to look at me as his voice tears through the silence. "Rain."
I meet his gaze, and his eyes searches mine deeply. "Earlier, you said something...and it's been on my mind to ask you what you meant."
"What'd I say?"
He swallows, maintaining eye-contact. "The feeling of almost being raped was not foreign but it still hurt like a fresh wound."
I stiffen. I cannot recall when I had said that to him. It must have slipped my lips while I was telling him the story of Kendra. I think I said too much.
"What did you mean?"
I shake my head, my eyes burning from what feels like tears. I am not weak, and I do not usually cry, but something about the way Ansel looks at you makes you feel vulnerable...makes you feel like spilling everything to him because he feels safe. He feels like home.
But I still cannot find the will in me to talk about those memories. Not yet.
"I meant nothing, really."
His gaze softens. He probably knows I am lying, but he is respectful enough not to meddle further. Knowing his nature, he will find out soon anyway.
"You don't have to talk about it, but just know that the monsters cannot get you with me being around, okay?"
I can only smile and nod as Ansel moves in closer, pulling me against his chest. I am blushing uncontrollably as the privation between my thighs rises once again, the wet sensation returning instantly.
My hormones are off the roof.
He wraps his arms around me, and I slightly wriggle to get myself comfortable, my knee bumping against something hard at the front of his shorts.
My breath catches in my throat when I drop my gaze and see his unyielding arousal straining against his garment. I look up and he is already watching me, his eyes holding strong desire and something else. Lust.
We stare at each other in silence, our breathings uneven and irregular. I feel the tension rising in the air, our gazes saying everything our mouths would not.
I am thinking about how his lips felt on mine, how his hand felt as he groped my thigh and I can tell he is thinking about the same things.
This is dangerous. Us laying in a bed is dangerous.
His Adam's apple shifts in his throat as he swallows uneasily, his eyes falling to my lips. "I...think it's best if we try to go to sleep..."
The yearn is evident in his gaze as I nod my head in agreement, my pulse racing at the thick sexual tension.
"Yeah...we should..."
He is right. Going to sleep would be best, or else something is bound to happen between us.
He gently pulls my head against his chest and I close my eyes as I listen to his heavy heartbeat. Mine is hammering just the same as I try to fall asleep, thinking about how good it feels to be in his arms.
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