《A Sheep Among Wolves》Chapter 38
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Leah
The air feels warm and heavy around me as I try to pull myself out of the dark fog that seems intent on keeping me hostage. I take a few deep breaths, my eyelids fluttering as I take in my sorroundings. I'm laying on something soft and comfortable, and an amazing smell flits through my nose, encouraging me to open my eyes and see where it's coming from.
"Leah, baby. Open your eyes for me." A deep, luscious voice rings out from next to me. I nearly groan at the sound as a shiver racks through my body.
"Leah." I hear the voice again. I focus on it more intently this time, the timber and tone Awareness slams into me as I finally recognize it.
"Alex." I croak out, my throat parched and sore.
"Look at me, little one." His voice practically begs of me. I force my eyes open and squint at the light, lifting my hand to block it out. I hear Alex sigh and feel him lean in closer, his lips pressing against my temple.
"There's my girl. You had me worried." He says with a smile that doesn't meet his eyes.
"What's wrong?" I ask and Alex takes a deep breath.
"You were hurt in the fight. I'm so sorry I wasn't here." He says, his voice cracking with emotion. I reach out to cup his cheek, enjoying the sparks that fly across my skin.
"Baby, you were out doing what you needed to protect us." I say softly and he shakes his head, tears welling in his eyes.
"No. I was played. I was an idiot. Knox betrayed us. He wanted to kill both of us and take our pack." He says and my mouth gapes in shock.
"That fucker!" I yell and Alex's eyes widen in surprise before he tilts his head back to laugh.
"Don't worry, little one. He's dead." He says with a wicked smirk that makes me smile. I push myself off the bed to hug him, but my lower half feels like dead weight.
I feel my brows furrow in confusion as I look down at my legs, trying to get them to move. But nothing happens. They lay there still and I realize I can't feel them. My heart starts to pound and my hands begin to shake as panic sets in. I try over and over to get them to move, but they stay still and unmoving.
"Alex! Why can't I move my legs!" I screech, unable to keep the fear from my voice. Alex grasps my face in his large hands and leans his forehead on mine, shooshing me gently.
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"Shhh... baby calm down. Look at me. Please." He begs, his voice breaking every other word. I look up at him, but he's bleary through the tears in my eyes.
"You were hurt. Thrown against a tree. The doctor..." He trails off, clearing his throat.
"The doctor said there was some damage to your spinal cord. That this is likely temporary. You just need to heal a little more." He tries to smile at me, but it lacks any of his usual warmth.
"Likely?! Oh god..." I moan as I begin to sob. I look down at my useless legs, willing, begging them to work. The stillness I'm greeted with taunts me.
"Leah." Alex says, trying to get my attention. But I feel the panic rising, stealing my breath, my heart beating too fast.
"LEAH!" Alex booms and I'm shocked out of my current state.
I've never heard him yell before. At least not at me.
He grabs my face again and gives me a firm look. Gone is the guilt and agony of a few moments before. It's replaced with fierce determination.
"You listen to me. We are going to get you through this. We will do whatever it takes to get you better. You are not in this alone. Our entire pack is behind you, here to help you and support you in whatever way you need." He vows and I feel myself begin to calm.
"But Alex, what if-" He cuts me off with little growl and a firm shake of his head.
"No. Don't let your mind go there. We need to stay positive. You will get better. I won't let my mistakes take your ability to walk from you. I refuse to let you suffer for my poor judgement." He says, a single tear trailing down his face. His tears make mine flow again, seeing this beautiful man so broken over something that wasn't his fault.
"You didn't do this." I whisper, reaching out to wipe his tears. "This isn't your fault. I chose to fight. I chose to put myself at risk." I say and he shakes his head again.
"If I hadn't trusted Knox you wouldn't have been in that position in the first place." He says, his bitterness so palpable I can nearly taste it.
"Don't feel guilty, Alex. I don't need your guilt or your pity." I say angrily and his eyes soften as he watches me.
"What do you need, sweet girl?" He asks softly. His voice holding so much affection I nearly crumble again.
"You. Just you." I say, choking on a sob. He sighs and sits next to me on the bed, tucking my face into his neck.
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"You will always have me, my love. Always." He murmurs kissing my hair. I let my tears fall, ridding myself of every fear and doubt that seems to have taken up residence in my mind in such a short amount of time.
"If... If this is permanent. What will happen? With us?" I ask sadly, not really sure I want the answer.
Alex pulls away with a confused look, searching my face as if wondering if it was really me who asked that question.
"Leah. If by some tiny margin of possibility this remains permanent, then I will spend every moment of every day of forever taking care of you. Protecting you. Loving you. Nothing will ever take me away from you ever again. Do you understand? You are mine. To cherish and to love. Your ability to walk will never change that." He says with firm conviction. I search our bond and find nothing but honesty.
The relief that crashes over me makes my eyes water again. My bottom lip trembles as I try to hold back tears, but Alex just gives me a sweet smile and pulls me back into his chest, holding me as I cry even more.
But I stop the flow as soon as I can. I refuse to feel sorry for myself, to curl into the fear and let it consume me. I will fight and I will get better. I have to.
Just as I sniffle and wipe away the last bits of moisture, there's a quiet knock on the door. Alex stands to answer it and I see Jon in the doorway, his eyes wide and worried. He walks in past Alex and sits in the chair next to my bed, reaching out to hold my hand.
"Luna..." He murmurs. I give him my best smile.
"I'll be alright." I say and he nods.
"Your hands are moving. That's good, right?" He asks and I nod.
"I can't move my legs." I say, ripping off the bandaid. He takes in what I said for a moment before his face crumples.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeats it over and over but I squeeze his hand and tell him to stop.
"You fought incredibly well. I am so proud of you." I say and he shakes his head.
"If I had, you wouldn't have needed to save me." He says sadly.
"I'd do it again in a heartbeat." I tell him honestly.
"Leah needs our help. Not our guilt." Alex says and I nod.
"He's right. We have a different kind of training to do now." I say with a smile that I hope looks real. Jon doesn't look like he believes me, but nods and stands when the same doctor that helped me when I was sick comes in. He leaves quietly as the doctor examines me.
"Can you feel anything in your lower half?" She asks and I shrug.
"I feel like I have to go to the bathroom." I say and she smiles.
"Good. That's a good sign. Give it a couple more days, not a lot of activity. Your spinal cord is probably still swollen. Once we give time for the swelling to go down I will reevaluate you. Until then just relax." She says and I nod and thank her as she exits the room.
"You need to go to the bathroom?" Alex asks.
"Yeah but-" He cuts me off by swooping down and lifting me, carrying me to the bathroom. I feel my face heat with embarrassment as he helps me sit on the toilet.
"Alex. This is mortifying." I say, unable to meet his gaze. He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.
"I am your mate. I know every inch of your body. And I love every single part of you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Get used to this, my wolf and I won't let anyone else touch you." He says firmly. I nod, but point at the door.
"Can you at least let me pee by myself?" I ask with mock sweetness that makes him chuckle.
"I suppose." He mutters and exits the room. I finish up and he carries me back to bed.
"Can we go back to our house?" I ask and Alex looks at me curiously.
"Are you sure? I don't mind staying here if you'd like." He says and I shake my head.
"No. If I'm going to be stuck in bed, I'd rather it be in our bed." I say and his gaze turns affectionate as he lets his fingers trace the curve of my cheek. He leans down to press his lips against mine and I nearly cry again at how perfect and beautiful it feels to be pressed against him. He pulls away much too soon, but gives me a bright, authentic smile.
"You're right, little one. Let's get you home."
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