I'm going to be straight up, the past 3 months have been amazing but rocky.

It's the holiday season now, about a week before christmas. Gilinsky hired someone to come over and decorate for a good six hours. And boy is it beautiful.

We have a christmas tree in the living room of course, but they added one in our room with fake gifts to fill space. It's absolutely beautiful to just cuddle in his bed and see the tree.

Speaking of Gilinsky, everything is going great. I have never been more in love a human before. It's every detail about this boy. The way he cooks his eggs, the face he makes as he's asleep, the way he giggles when he watches funny online instead of answering emails, the way treats me. Everyday i wake up in his arms wasted with love, but i cant tell him.

You see I want to. But i can tell he's not there yet and that's okay. Like he will bring up kids names and i'll get excited, but then he'll realize what he said and change the subject. And like I said i'll wait however long I need to.

And the most important part; My boy finally came out at bisexual to everyone. He announced it at a pop up show to promote his new EP coming out titled amore me , seriously the best thing i've heard since Billie eilish. Anywhos, he was on stage and a fan had a pride flag. During his newest song Beg , he grabbed it and holding it up he said into the mic "I love you all dearly, so just to let you all know, I'm bisexual." And every fan went wild. Some cried of joy, some jumped and smiled clapping, and some even tried to get on stage to hug him.

After the show he knew the whole media would want answers, so he posted this. And god am I proud:

(this is an edit i created, please do not think it is real haha. I meant this in no harm towards jack gilinsky in real life, i also am aware he is straight.)

But also no, our relationship isn't out to the media yet. My own mother doesn't even know, but i am going to tell her for christmas, it'll probably be an amazing gift.

It's like i don't want it to be out because then he would get hate, I would get even more hate, plus I am adjusting to being called his boyfriend and not employee. But I also do just so we don't have to hide our public dates anymore. I wanna be able to hold his hand in public, peck his cheek, even just bite my lip when i get turned on.

Vanessa is aware that we are dating, but doesn't say anything about it to gilinsky. He'd die of embarrassment from her knowing she heard him moaning about my large- you can finish that sentence.

And now it's the present. I was currently outside adding the last of the rain deer decorations. We are going out to finish some christmas shopping and probably just stay at home, order takeout and call it a day.

"JJ baby lets start heading out! You already look flawless and you have been outside all day." Gilinsky called out from the top balcony. It was around three thirty so he was right, we should be going.

"If you insist honey, i'll go put on a different sweatshirt and just meet me in the car." I smile looking up at him. he winked up at me and went back inside.

I was already wearing a sweatshirt, but it was one I used to clean around the house with, so it has bleach stains and and has a permanent sent of Clorox. So i just decided to throw on a yellow GOLF sweatshirt and keep my gray joggers on with yellow vans.

Today i'm also picking up Gilinskys gift, it's a key necklace that opens the door to his childhood house. His parents still own it in Omaha where G was born, but recently moved back to Omaha, because Jacks mother was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer.

It wasn't the best day ever. We had just gotten back to a private trip to Japan and he was awoken with the phone call. He cried for hours on end, knowing that any other phone call he got from her can be again life changing.

October was a hard month. But luckily she's been way better over there in Omaha, all she's been doing is getting better and is expected to be all set and clear upcoming May. Plus his more closer family knows about us together, so we now have a new profound outlook on life.

The key just represents that he's always going to be at home with me, wether literally there at the home or in this house.

~

locking the door behind me to go inside the car, i turn around and Gilinsky is right there behind me, staring at me with those huge mocha eyes. His hands rested on my cheeks, his thumb running over my cheek.

"Johnson you look too incredibly good today, Every man you pass is gonna fall at your feet. should I let them?" he whispered, slightly pushing me up against the door.

I rested my hands on his arms, feeling every muscle. He was wearing a white short sleeve shirt. He knows the key to my heart looking breathtaking.

"God i would be a bad, terrible, naughty, man to ever leave you for one of them baby." I smirked licking my lips. He quietly moaned with his lips shut together, his eyes tightly closing.

"Come on now Jack, lets finish the shopping." I smiled kissing his cheek, slowly letting go.

After around 10 seconds, He eventually came back to earth from being in his own little world and cleared throat.

"Y-yes lets go! Finish this all up." He stuttered, soon getting in his the car alongside of me.

-

As we were finding parking, he turned the music down and let go of my thigh to turn the steering wheel.

"Baby why did you change sweatshirts? I mean yeah the bleach stains but those are kind of coming back in style." Gilinsky asked as he looked around.

"Well jack it also reeked of clorox from when I used to clean the house, I don't want people to think The Jack Gilinsky hangs out with someone who smells like chemicals." I chuckled running a hand through my hair. He laughed along and soon found a parking spot in front of a Macy's.

"I mean I guess so. Speaking about cleaners, do you think we should get a new one? You are now my boyfriend, not my house cleaner JJ. You've been mopping and sweeping, it's time for someone to take it." He explained, removing his sunglasses and turning off the car. It might be Winter but it's LA, it barely gets cloudy here.

I don't know how to exactly feel about it, I like our living condition, Us and Vanessa. Besides V cleans so much now, knowing she wants me to confess my love for Jack.

"We have Vanessa babe-"

"Yeah I know, but face it she needs a partner, like you did. J you can't continue to clean like you work for me. It won't do any change of the way we live or money. We are a couple! You suck my dick, not clean my bathtub anymore." He laughed at the last part, going down to hold my hand.

I sighed, but then laughed along, he isn't wrong. He's right, the change won't be awful.

"I get it yes. If you insist honey, we can get a straight new home cleaner." I playfully groaned, emphasizing the straight. I don't need my man to be getting hit on by some new girl or guy.

"Johnson you know I wouldn't leave you for some other man. It's just i don't want to have my baby clean that's all. I have the money and lets spend it." He exclaimed kissing my cheek and hopping out of the car.

Reason 1849 as to why i'm in love.

-

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, admiring the box with his necklace. We were about to get in bed to just talk or watch TV, I was wearing boxers and one of Jacks old T-shirts. He was finishing up brushing his teeth and shaving.

I moved all of my stuff to Gilinskys master bedroom, so we sleep in the same room together every night. If you told me last year I would be sharing a room and in love with my boss I wouldn't believe you.

Hearing the bathroom door fiddle open, I quickly put the box in my nightstand drawer and started undoing the bed to get in.

Gilinsky walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He sleeps naked. I know it's absolutely beautiful but i've gotten used to it to not end up moaning and covered in his hickeys.

He removed the towel and set it on the end of the bed, soon climbing into bed with me. He turned off the lamp and now the only thing making light was the christmas tree in our room. We are 25, we are getting too old to stay up till the sun rising.

I laid my head on his chest and rested my leg up against his. See I could do all that and not get horny.

"So baby you sure you're okay with getting a new home cleaner? I want to make sure you are fully on board with this." He whispered against my blonde hair sticking up everywhere.

I yawned and nodded. "Yes G, I promise you it's all okay. besides it might help in a way. To get closer." I reply, winking at the end with a giggle.

"Well im so happy to hear that. I already emailed two of the absolute best in this area who pass the so on "rules" we created earlier." He explained with his hands.

"Sounds perfect." I quietly say, dozing off, still being in his embrace.

Everything is going too perfect.

Too white picket fence.

Something is coming to mess that all up in a way.

I don't know when, but i know it.

💚💚

📦