''I'm sick of it. Do you hear me?''

The sudden yelling makes me jump from my sleep.

''I'm sick and tired of this situation. I can't do it anymore.''

What the hell is going on?

''Florence for God's shakes, keep your voice down.''

''Keep my voice down? Really? Are you going to shut me up now?''

There is a long pause, making my heart skip several beats, until my dad's, tired voice reply.

''I never said that.''

''Then what are you saying Michael?''

Silence.

''Just what I thought. You are a lame excuse of a man. You've always been.''

Her words bring a heavy feeling in my stomach, tears gathering in my eyes.

''I don't even know what I'm still doing here with you. I should have left years ago.''

There is no response from my father's side and I exhale deeply. That's good.

I don't want him to respond, I don't want him to fight with her.

It will only bring more problems.

The silence outside my door starts to disturb me and when I hear the front door closing shut, I know he left.

Great.

My mom's footsteps approaching the room, put me on a panic mode and I hurriedly pretend to be asleep.

Silly I know, but it's the first thing that comes to my mind when I want to avoid problems.

Sleep them off.

Opening the door, I hear her stepping inside my bedroom for a second, to check on me. My breath accelerates, thinking she knows I'm not asleep, but I brush it off.

I feel her stare at my back, until she walks away, closing the door behind her.

That was close.

Checking the time on my nightstand I realize it's still early for me to get up, especially if I don't want to challenge my mother, by coming face to face with her.

Snuggling closer to my pillows I decide to stay under the security of the covers.

And for a few moments I'm still the same kid who used to hide between her sheets, to avoid arguments.

I guess some things never change.

The faint smell of Jackson's perfume lingers in my bed and a small smile creeps on my face.

I can't believe I had him with me just hours ago.

My mind drifts immediately to the image of him, laying on his stomach, face between my legs.

''Such a good girl for me...''

His voice lingers in my ears, making my stomach tingle. And not only my stomach.

I feel my core urging for a touch and without even knowing I let my hand crawl towards it.

The touch that was so familiar to me, for the first time feels unsatisfying and after a few moments I give up.

There is no way I can replace the feeling of his fingers and tongue with mine.

I lay in my bed for a little longer, scrolling through my social, until I stumble over a post from Khloe.

''People out there, abusing that soft spot you have for them, until it's no longer there.''

My eyes stay locked on the screen, making my heart sting. This is so unlike her. Khloe's posts are about sunshine and summer nights, not this depressed, broken shit.

That's more like...me.

Am I the one who did this to her?

The thought itself is enough to break me.

No. Not her. I can't screw her too. She is my best friend. My rock, the person I care the most...

With shaking hands, I throw the covers away, getting on my feet.

Calm down Daphne. It's ok. You are going to talk things out with her. You can fix it.

Feeling nauseous, I head to my bathroom kneeling in front of the toilet.

Let it out.

Let it out.

Let it for fuck's shake.

Nothing.

My own hard breathing is the only thing that can be heard in the tiny space and I give up sitting on the floor.

Tears split from my eyes before I have the chance to stop them and once again, I become a weak mess.

Like always.

The ride to the university is long and quiet. I secretly wished for Bob to appear from somewhere, with his signature smile and positive attitude, just to take my mind from everything that's going on.

Although I know it can't happen.

Today is his first day at work. He got hired last week in a small coffee-bar across his house and he couldn't be more excited. But I mean that's how Bob is. He gets hyped up with the smallest things.

Forty minutes later, I stand outside the hallway, looking anxiously inside the class, where I can see Khloe's curly hair sitting, next to Mikaela's slim figure.

Stop being a pussy Daphne.

You can do it.

No, you can't.

I step back ready to leave, until I hear Zoey's high pitched voice calling for me.

''Hey D!''

I mentally curse myself turning around.

There is no escape now.

''Where have you been?'' She asks, giving me a warm smile.

''You know...around.''

Jesus Daphne.

''Oh, okay. Are you coming inside?''

''Yeah.'' I mumble quietly, following her.

My anxiety kicks in, the moment I walk in the room, hands cold and shaking.

No, don't do this to yourself. Not again. You are going to be fine.

These are your friends. They know you.

You are safe.

''Hey guys!'' Zoey exclaims, sitting beside Mikaela.

I swallow hard before I take my place next to Khloe.

''D I missed you.'' Mikaela says, smiling at me. I answer back with a small one, while Khloe keeps scrolling through her phone like I'm not here.

Great.

''What were you up to the past few weeks?''

''Um...nothing really. I just had a lot of things to do.''

''Yeah? Like what?''

''You know...essays and stuff.''

Essays and stuff? Really?

''Essays? For what?'' Zoey asks.

I almost forgot how persistent my friends can be.

''Umm...''

''Mrs. Pope class, right? I had the same too.'' Mikaela comes for my rescue and I make a mentally note to thank her later.

Zoey nods opening her textbook and I follow her movements taking out my things.

Just say something to her.

My inner voice screams, while Khloe keeps ignoring me, making even more difficult for me to approach her.

Maybe I should start with a hi.

Opening my mouth, I get ready to talk, but stop myself, as soon as the professor comes inside.

Take the hint Daphne.

For the rest of the lesson I couldn't concentrate on anything but Khloe's presence beside me.

I kept stealing side glances towards her, thinking about a way to approach her.

Finally, I found a good way to start the conversation, waiting for the right time to do it.

When Mr. Glass called for a break, I gathered my nerves and turned to her.

''Can I talk to you outside for a moment?''

Nice, I didn't even stutter.

''Sure.'' Khloe mumbles in an indifferent manner, but I decide to not pay attention.

''What's up?'' She asks.

Don't panic. Just talk.

''Um...I wanted to...''

Shit, why is my mouth so dry?

I swallow harder, licking my lips anxiously.

''Apologize.'' I finally breath out. ''For the misunderstanding.''

''Apologize? Almost two weeks later?'' She says, raising an eyebrow.

''I know, it's just...I had a lot of things going on.''

''Essays and stuff, right?''

I feel the irony in her voice and my heart drops.

''I'm sorry.''

''Don't be. If that's how you want to leave your life that's okay. I just don't understand why lie about it.''

''What do you mean?'' I ask confused.

''Someone saw you Daphne. In that party about a week ago. You were with a company of boys. Pretty drunk apparently.''

I feel my stomach become nauseous again and I struggle to find the right words.

''I -I wasn't drunk.''

''Honestly, I don't care if you were. You are an adult. I just don't get it. We literally have to drag you out of bed, to make you come for a coffee. You are not participating in anything fun for the last two years...''

''I do.'' I whisper sadly, but my voice gets cut off.

''Cinema doesn't count Daphne. Do you know how exhausting it is, to try and make someone feel better on a constant base, by doing the things he likes even when these are just watching movies and go for long walks?''

I feel tears breaming in my eyes at the sound of her words.

''I never asked you to do any of these. Or leave your life behind for me.''

''Well what do you expect? You are my friend. Of course, I'm going to be beside you when you have no one else. It hurts me to see you inside a room all day. Or you think this situation affects only you?''

I look away, biting my lip, to prevent the sob that comes off my throat.

''You were this fun girl, that used to party and joke around. We would spend the most of our days making sleep overs, doing road trips... And now, when I look at you, I can't even see my best friend anymore.''

Her words go directly to my heart, like a piercing knife, stabbing me.

Is this how she feels?

''I was going to apologize about the way I spoke to you, a few days ago. I was so worried... But then I learnt you went to party.''

''If it's about the party I...''

''It's not about the fucking party Daphne! It's about the fact that I spent so much time being by your side through everything and you can't even say to my face, that you are better.''

''I'm not.''

''Well apparently you are, if you found enough courage to be out with new friends, partying and leaving life the way we couldn't make you to.''

''It's not like that Khlo.'' I say pleading.

''I'm happy for you. I really am. But I can't be your crutch anymore Daphne.''

''Crutch?'' I ask.

My voice breaking in the end.

''That's how you see yourself?''

''That's how I felt the past few weeks.''

''I said I'm sorry.'' Tears slip down my cheeks.

Khloe looks at me with sad eyes and I can see something in her breaking.

She pities me.

''Let's talk about it another time. I'm sure Mr. Glass has already started the lesson.''

But I don't want her pity.

''No.'' I say in a firm tone. ''Juts tell me the truth. Is this how you see our friendship all this time?''

She stays quiet giving me an indirect answer.

I swallow my tears nodding. ''Then you shouldn't do it anymore.''

Averting her gaze from the floor, she looks at me shocked.

''What?''

''You heard me.'' I say.

''Daphne...''

''It's okay. I know I'm not the easiest person in the world. And my problems should be only mine. Not yours or anyone else's. I'm sorry if I wasted your time.''

''This is not...''

''I'll s-see you.''

Turning on my heels, Iwalk outside the building leaving Khloe behind me, along with a piece of myself.