Pain.

That's what I feel the moment I open my eyes.

My whole body feels weak. My head hurts, my throat is so dry, I can't even swallow.

I am a sweaty mess.

Slowly, I put my hand against my forehead testing the temperature.

As I imagined. I have fever.

My hair is still slightly dump from yesterday.

But I guess that's what you get when you spent your night under the rain.

Well, I can't complain.

It was worth it.

I touch my lips, remembering the kiss we shared.

It was the hottest thing I have experienced till now.

Letting my tongue run over them, I try to recall his taste. I think it's going to linger there for a long time.

A phone vibrates bringing me out of my thoughts.

I try to sit up, my head spinning. Fuck.

The sound stops, only to start again seconds later.

''Alright, alright...''

I look around, trying to locate the source. My eyes, landing on the leather jacket across the floor.

Standing up, I walk there taking the fabric, before I open one of the pockets.

The phone stops ringing, while I stand there confused.

Wait. That's not my phone.

My eyes winded when I finally recall the events at the party.

Isaac.

I don't have the time to process it. The door opens revealing a disappointed Florence.

''Well, well...look who decided to wake up.''

I roll my eyes, annoyed.

''Good morning to you too mom.''

''Good afternoon you mean. It's 13:00 p.m.''

Is it? Shit I never sleep that much.

''What time did you come home last night? And why was your dress wet?''

''My dress?''

''Yeah, I put it in the laundry.''

''Um...It was raining when I got home.''

''Weren't your friends supposed to bring you back with a car?''

''Well... the car broke down and we came on foot.''

She looks at me suspiciously, raising an eyebrow.

''I don't appreciate lies Daphne.''

''I'm not lying mom...'' I reply tired.

''Drop the attitude.'' She says raising her voice, but I'm too weak to deal with her now.

''Can you please go? I want to take a shower.''

''No Daphne. This is MY house. You don't get to tell me what to do.''

Seriously?

''And you didn't even dry your hair. You can get sick. How irresponsible...''

She keeps mumbling, scolding me but I don't listen to her anymore.

My head spins, the room moving around me and the last thing I hear, before I fell into darkens, is my name screaming from her lips.

''She needs to take care of herself more. The medication will help with the flu, but this is not the only reason she passed out. Her hematocrit is really low, same with the Vitamin D. She also needs to gain some weight, her body fat is beneath the average. Especially for her height. A better nutrition will help her body to become stronger.''

I hear the doctor talking with my parents outside my bedroom.

Well nothing new.

I already know what happens next. More pills, more food...as if it's that easy.

My whole life I've been judged about my weight, I'm used to it.

I was always the skinny girl, the one who should ''eat more.''

My mom took me in five different nutritionists over the years. Everybody told her the same thing. '' I metabolize fast, it is just my body portion etc.''

Although the last couple of years things got worst. The anxiety and panic attacks brought my appetite downhill and even though I'm trying hard, it's more difficult than what people think.

Isaac's phone rings again and I pick it up in a hurry.

''Yeah?''

''Daphne?'' Bob's voice calls me confused and I exhale deeply.

''Yep, it's me.''

''God...You scared the shit out of me. Are you with Isaac?''

''Um... No. He just left his phone with me.''

''What do you mean? What the hell happened? I was looking everywhere for you.''

''It's a long story, I'm going to tell you everything in person when I see you.''

''Ok. Do you wanna hung out tonight?''

''I c-can't. I'm kind of sick, I think I'll stay at home today.''

''Alright. What about your phone? You don't need it?''

''Shit. I totally forgot about that.''

''I can bring it to you if you want.''

''I'm not sure if this is a good idea...''

My mom will freak out.

''Listen. Can you find Isaac? I mean do you know where he lives or something?''

''Yeah, I do. Daphne what's up?''

I can hear how worried he is and I feel guilty. I don't wanna lie to him.

''I promise I'll explain everything. Just find him and send me a message, if he is ok.''

He pauses for a minute, silence filling the line until he responds.

''Ok.''

The rest of my day went on pretty boring.

Besides the occasional visit by my mom and dad to give me soup, or check my temperature, I was in a state of quarantine.

My father had a trip coming up and my mother was always too sensitive towards sickness.

But I didn't mind. Netflix has been my best friend for a while and I wanted to catch up with him.

Putting on another episode of 13 Reasons Why, I lay against my pillow coughing.

''Can I interrupt?'' My dad asks.

''Sure.'' I say.

''I just wanted to tell you that we are going out for a couple of hours.''

''Who?''

''Me and your mom?''

''Together?'' I ask confused.

''Yes.''

His answer leaves me dumbfounded. They never go out together. Only in special occasions like Christmas, or dinners with his company.

That's weird.

''Ok?''

''If you need anything call me. Ok sweetheart? And don't forget your medication.''

''I won't.'' I say offering a smile.

He closes the door and after a couple of minutes I hear them leaving the house.

Isaac's phone vibrates on time. A message from Bob.

He is ok.

What? That's it?

I push the call button and he picks it up immediately.

''What?'' He asks.

''What do you mean what? Ok? That's the only thing you had to say?''

''No actually I have plenty of things to say, but I hold myself from going fully bananas on you!''

Shit. He is mad.

''Oh ok-k...'' I whisper.

I hear him exhaling before he says calmly.

''I'm sorry. I'll talk to you later.''

In any other case I would have let this go. God knows how much I hate confrontation.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

The past few weeks Bob became so important to me. He helped like no one else.

I can't do this.

I can't lose him.

''Wait Bob!''

''What?'' He asks tired.

''Come to my place. We can talk.''

''Are you sure? What about your parents?''

''They are gone. Just come. I'll sent you the address.''

He appeared on my doorstep 20 minutes later. Holding a box with donuts, Bob gave me an unpleasant look.

''You look horrible.''

''Thanks buddy.'' I respond rolling my eyes. ''Are you going to stand there?''

''No, but I have a presentation in the end of the week. I swear if you sneeze on my face, I will whip your ass off.''

''Just shut the fuck up and come in.'' I say, dragging him inside.

He gives a look around the house, before he adds ''Wow... you never told me you were rich.''

''I'm not.''

And it's the truth. We've been comfortable our whole lives. My dad has a good job, but that's it. Nothing over the top.

Although, from the look in Bob's eyes he probably thinks otherwise.

''Do you need anything? Water? Coffee?'' I ask politely.

''No thanks brat.''

I look at him annoyed, but he just smiles back.

''What? You like it when I call you like that.''

''Whatever. Let's go to my room.''

''Hey, I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment yet.''

''Oh, shut up!''

I push him inside and lock my door.

''Now you are wilding. I mean I know I was technically your first...''

''Stop it!'' I say, throwing him a pillow.

He laughs loudly, plopping on my bed.

''So, what do you want to talk about?''

''Hum...ok.'' Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes praying to not regret my decision.

''Everything started about a month ago...''

For the next hour I explained everything to him. My meeting with Jackson, the drug dealing, everything, until yesterday's night events.

I didn't exclude any details, not even our kiss. In any other occasion I would be uncomfortable to talk about these things, but not with him.

I wanted to be honest and straightforward, I need it.

He didn't interrupt me once. Listening to my story he stayed silent until I finished.

''And that's it pretty much.'' I add looking at my lap.

''So, you hooked up with him?''

''Seriously Bob? From everything I said that's your question?'' I huff, my cheeks blossom red.

''I mean...I enjoy see you embarrassed too much.'' He says laughing at me.

I look away, folding my arms.

''Ok, ok. I'll stop.''

''So, you are really saying you are in love with that guy?''

His question takes me by surprise.

''In l-love?''

Am I?

''I d-don't know...''

''I think you do. But that's a conversation for another time. What worries me is everything else you talked about. Drug dealing? Daphne these things never end well.''

''We don't know if he is...''

''He was with them both times. So, yes, we know. Or at least Isaac does.''

Isaac.

''And no. Before you ask, I'm not going to tell you anything about him.'' He adds, after watching me ready to talk.

''I know him a long time and I can't share his secrets with you, the same way I won't share yours with anyone else.''

I nod in agreement.

''Ok.''

''But I'm going to give you an advice. Search for him. Don't open your heart to someone you don't know. Because if my suspicions are half true, then this guy is far more dangerous that you can imagine.''

My heart dropped at his words, because I knew he was right.

Jackson was like a fallen angel. Dark and dangerous, like a drug. He had the power to destroy me and even though I was aware of that, I kept coming for him.

Holly fuck.

I think I'm in love.