《D for Depression》Chapter 12: Promise
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Washing the soap off my hair I let the water fall on me. My eyes close enjoying the feeling. I try to relax my mind from everything that goes on, but his face keeps coming up. I instantly touch the necklace he gave me.
A light nock brings me out of my thoughts. ''Daphne hurry up. I need to use the bathroom.''
Walking out of the shower, I put a towel around my body. I can't have a moment of alone time. Can't I?
I open the door only to find my mom behind it. ''You really need to cut this mane of yours. It's getting out of hand.'' She says obviously, referring to my waist length hair.
She is right. I need almost an hour to wash it, but I don't understand how this bothers her existence. Besides, I don't want to cut them off. Everyone around me envy my long dark locks. I'm not giving up on them.
I past by her and walk inside my bedroom. Letting the towel off my body, I feel the cool breeze touching me, before I start drying my hair. I always enjoy this moment of nudity. It maybe sound weird but for me, it's liberating.
Taking a pair of panties and bra I quickly slip them on, before I plop on my bed.
I look at the ceiling. Three days.
It's being three days since I last saw him. But why does it feel so long? My mind goes immediately to our last night together. Thinking about what happened, I keep playing with the chain on my neck. My fingers trace the back of it again and again, until I can't hold myself and take it off.
I look on the other side, reading the two letters for the 100th time.
''You got it baby?'' He asks, gently caressing my cheek.
I nod. ''Yeah. I g-go in and say the truth. I skip the part about you coming, Eric's name and the girl's condition.''
''And how you got here. They are going to ask about it. Don't forget. They let you go as soon as your friend escaped.''
''Right. I told them she is going to bring the police...''
''Good girl.'' He responds, kissing my forehead.
''I'm scared.'' I mumble. ''What if the girl appears and tells them the truth? What if...''
He hushes me, bringing me closer to him. If that's even possible.
''Nothing is going to happen. I have everything under control. You trust me, don't you?''
He looks at me directly in the eyes and I lose my voice. He has me under a spell and he knows it.
I hesitantly nod.
''Good. Now trust me when I say, it will be over before you even know it. You will be home soon, safe.''
I don't want to go home. I wanna stay with you.
That's all I'm thinking, but I don't say anything.
He sees right through me when he says, ''I'll come for you. I promise.''
My eyes shot open and the words slip my mouth quickly. ''When?''
He smirks making my heart skip several beats, before answering my question.
''Sooner than you think.''
His words sound reassuring although, I can't find myself to relax. The opposite. It makes me more anxious, just the thought of waiting for him every day...what if he never shows up?
''What's going on inside your pretty little head Daphne? Tell me.''
The way he pronounces my name brings me all kind of feelings, but I can't find myself to admit, I'm just afraid of not seeing him again.
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He cups my face, letting his silver rings run smoothly across my skin.
''I'm here baby. Ok? I'm here.''
Closing the distance between us, he places a kiss in the corner of my mouth, taking my breath away.
He inhales deeply before he moves away. ''Look. ''
I open my eyes finding a necklace in front of me. It has a black round stone with silver lines and a chain. I've never seen anything like this.
''It's the first time I'm taking it off.'' He says.
''I want you to have it. That's how you know we will meet again. I'm going to come for it.''
I take the necklace in my hands, looking at it closely. It's really beautiful. Maybe not in a classic way, you wouldn't see it so easily in a woman's neck. But that makes it even more special.
It's a piece of him.
Turning the stone around, I read the two letters.
''J. W.''
I look up to him confused. He half smiles, before he whispers in a playful tone.
''That's me baby. ''
Two weeks. It's been two weeks and he still hasn't contact me.
I tried to find him trough social, but there was no Jackson Wald.
I spent nights typing his name, looking for something, anything about him.
It was almost as if he didn't exist.
At the beginning I still had hopes. Thinking that he is going to keep his promise.
But as soon as the days passed, I came to realize he isn't coming back.
Maybe I just imagined him. Maybe he wasn't even real.
If I didn't have his necklace, I would've believe I am delusional.
I felt stupid. So stupid.
Why would he want to be with someone like you?
And that's how my self hate came alive once again.
''Daphne! Hey are you there?''
Zoey snaps her fingers in front of my face.
''W-what? Yes...''
''Seriously? You are zoning out since we came here. What's on your mind?''
She asks raising an eyebrow.
I look over the three girls. We are currently inside the coffee shop, a little while after our lesson ended.
I've no idea what they are talking about. My mind is too occupied having all these thoughts about him...I couldn't concentrate inside the class either.
Why did he call me baby? Why did he act so kind and affectionate towards me?
Everything inside my head is a big why and the only person capable of answering my questions is nowhere to be found.
I exhale deeply. It's getting hard to breath. My anxiety builts up step by step and I know it will crash me.
''Hey D... are you ok?'' Khloe touches my shoulder, but I flinch.
''I-m not feeling really well...I'm going h-home'' I stutter again, grabbing on my things.
''Wait if you are not ok, I can drop you off.'' Khloe stands up looking at me worried.
''N-no. I prefer to walk.''
''But Daphne, what if something happens? Let us come with you.'' Zoey suggests and I immediately stop her.
''No. I want to be alone.''
''Listen...'' Khloe continues, but I'm not letting her.
''What do you not understand? I want to be alone!''
Everybody stop what they are doing and look at our way.
The girls don't say anything after my outburst and I close my eyes. Feeling the tears building up, I swallow the lump in my throat and hurriedly leave the shop.
The cold air hits my face and I breath deeply.
Fuckin stupid bitch. How much of an asshole can you be? Talking to your friends like that. There is a reason no one stays with you. There is a reason you are all alone. Because you deserve it.
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My own thoughts disgust me and I let the tears fall. I keep scolding myself walking down the street, while people looking me like a mental person.
This internal conversation keeps going, until the sound of a horn and a car's tire brings me out of my thoughts.
Immediately, I feel a hand yanking me back and I collide with a chest.
''Are you ok?'' The person who saved me asks.
I shake my head still in shock before I look up to him. His face is oddly familiar, but I'm too fuzzy to remember at the moment.
''Hey come here. You should sit down.''
He walks me to a bench and sits with me.
''That was close. What were you doing walking in the middle of a road like that?''
I sigh trying to think. I was waiting at the crosswalk and then... shit I don't even know.
The boy sees me panicking and he gently touches my hand.
''Hey, it's ok...things like that happen all the time. I can even remember how many times I fell off my bike because I was daydreaming...''
''Did a car almost hit you?'' I ask sarcastically between tears.
''No, but once I landed in a fountain. Inside a mall, with thousands of people. And believe me it wasn't a nice sight.''
I chuckle. ''I can imagine.''
''Oh, I'm sure you can't. My video went viral. I have over three million views. Just check Cute, silly Babyboy landing in a fountain, in that order.''
I look at him for a moment before I burst into laugh.
''Yeah, laugh with my pain. You are not the only one.'' He says pretending he is offended.
After a couple of minutes, I calm down enough and observe him. Suddenly a lamp lights on my mind. ''You are the boy from the bus'' I exclaim.
''What?'' he says looking at me confused.
''A couple of weeks ago. We saw each other. Inside the bus. You talked to me...I mean I guess it makes sense if you don't remember.'' I mumble the last sentence feeling embarrassed.
''That sounds like me. I talk a lot. I'm sorry if was being nosy.'' He says with a smile.
''No, you weren't. It was actually nice.'' I reassure him playing with my fingers.
''I'm glad. Hey, do you feel better?''
I get the hint he wants to leave and I feel bad for keeping him here.
''Yeah... you can go. Thanks a lot.''
He stands up, while my phone rings. I look at the caller's id. Khloe.
No, I can't talk with her right now. I reject the call and put my phone in silent.
I can sense him looking at me.
''Do you want to come with me?''
In any other case if a stranger asked me to go with him, especially at his house, I would have declined immediately, before using the pepper spray I always carry with me.
What? I like to feel badass.
But right now, sitting on the green couch, holding a mug with tea, I look around thinking I made a good choice.
I mean he doesn't seem like a killer, ready to chop me up and take my organs.
He is rather normal.
On the other hand, Dexter looked normal too.
Don't think about that Daphne.
''I'm going to change really quickly ok? Make yourself at home.'' He says kindly smiling at me.
I nod and watch him disappear in the end of the hallway.
Taking a sip of my drink I look around me.
His house is not too big. A small living room with a kitchen connected to it, two bedrooms and one bathroom. If I'm guessing right.
There are a lot of things scattered around. From clothes, to empty bottles, pizza boxes and don't forget the underwear under the couch, he discreetly tried to hide the moment we walked in.
In front of the TV there is an a xbox with two controllers and two bean bag chairs.
I suppose he lives with a roommate?
A couple of minutes later he makes his appearance, wearing a black pair of joggers and a neon t-shirt with the logo ''Chicken Noodle Soup''.
I look at him surprised. ''You like BTS?''
''I do actually.'' He says smiling at me. ''You listen to them?''
I hum nodding. ''I love them.''
''Let me guess. Jimin biased?'' He asks giving me a small smirk.
''More like Jungkook. But I like all of them.'' I respond shyly.
''Mmm... I'm a huge fan of J-Hope. As you can imagine. I wish I had his dance abilities. I mean those moves...That's what I call talent.''
''I agree. He is incredible.''
I stare at him, before I add with a mischievous smile.
''You look like him.''
He chokes on his water. ''I do?''
''Yeah. You have the same positive energy...and your smile. It reminds me of him.''
''Owww... thank you. I'm happy to know someone appreciates it. People think it's weird to be like this all the time. But I really don't see a reason on being pessimistic and moody. It's not going to solve anything.''
I look at him admiring his way of thinking. Now that's an attitude. Why can't I be like him?
''Do you know how to play video games?'' He asks out of the blue and I shake my head negative.
''Great I love to teach people.''
And just like that we spent the next three hours in front of the tv. By the end of it, I was so obsessed I kept asking of him to play more. We laughed and yelled, until our eyes were red and achy.
I was so happy and relaxed, I forgot about everything. And for the very first time in a while, I felt comfortable being myself.
''Here.'' He offers me a beer.
''Thanks. God my eyes are so sore.'' I complain.
''Of course, they are. I took your game virginity.'' He says sitting down next to me.
I choke on my beer and start coughing.
''Shit are you ok?''
I nod flushing red.
'''Too early for sexual jokes?'' He asks laughing and I feel my cheeks heat up even more.
''N-no it's ok''. I stutter.
''Yeah right. I'm sorry. I told you sometimes I get too comfortable and things slip my mouth.''
''No don't worry. It just took by surprise that's all.'' I reassure him.
''That means you are happy I was your first? How good was I? On a scale from one to ten.''
I choke again and he bursts into laughing. ''You're cute.''
''Stop teasing me.'' I say hitting his arm.
''Sorry sorry.''
We sit in a comfortable silence, drinking our beers before I break it.
''Do you believe in God?''
He looks at me. ''No. But I believe in the Big Bang.''
I hum. ''Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?''
''No. Some things just happen.''
''But why?'' I ask.
''No reason. When I tripped and fell in that fountain, was there a reason?''
''Yeah. You became famous!'' I exclaim and he laughs.
''Which reminds me, I've never seen the video. Let me take my phone.''
''NOOOOOO'' he yells clinging on me.
I try to break off between giggles.
''There is no way I'm letting you see this.''
''Yahhh... stoppp'' I say, while he tickles me.
I manage to break free and stand up, only to hit my leg in the corner of the table and fell back again.
''Ouch!''
''God if you wanted to see it that bad, you could've just said it. No reason to hurt yourself.''
''Shut up and help me.'' I fake cry.
''Alright, alright.'' He takes me by the arms dragging me to the couch.
''Ahh you're heavy.'' He plops down beside me.
''What are you talking about? I'm 49 kg.'' I huff annoyed.
''Exactly, all these bones...''
''Tsk. Give me the tablet I'm watching the video.''
''Fine.'' He takes the tablet from the table and toss it to me. ''But I'm not drunk enough for this yet.''
Walking to the kitchen, I see him opening the fridge and I yell from the couch.
''Ice for my leg too cute, silly, Babyboy!''
Hours later we find ourselves laughing hysterically over the video we already saw, about 30 times.
Tears strip down my cheeks, while I continue giggling. My leg is over his lap, an ice pack on top of it.
''Ok enough. Stop embarrassing me.'' He says, taking the tablet off my hands.
''Noooo one more time pleaseeee'' I plead, but he shakes his head turning it off.
''You are mean!'' I cross my hands looking straight. I don't know why but every time I drink a little more my inner child comes up.
''And you are an annoying little brat.''
''I'm not!''
''Yes, you are.''
''Whatever you say silly Babyboy.''
''Ahhh stop it already!'' he whines and I start laughing again.
I can see him looking at me with the corners of his eyes.
''You should laugh more.''
''Thanks.'' I say shyly. ''Only if I had the reason.''
''What do you mean? You have every reason.''
''No, I don't. Everything in my life goes shit.'' I close my eyes for a moment. My head resting on the back of the couch.
''Then I guess we have to fix your shit.'' I hear him say.
''What?'' I ask opening my eyes. He is laying the same way as me, looking with sleepy eyes.
''I said we are going to fix your shit.''
''We will?'' I ask him hopefully.
''Sure, we will. As I said. I love to teach people. Life is a game too. I'll teach you how to play it.''
''Good'' I say feeling my eyes heavy.
''Umm a random question...'' I hear him mumble.
''Yeah..'' I whisper.
''What's your name?''
.
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