God...Shut up.

I angrily tap my phone to stop the alarm.

I have to change my wake up song. It's going to give me a heart attack sooner or later. The same thought comes to my mind every morning, but I never bring myself to do it. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Suga's voice.

Grabbing my phone, I roll over my stomach and start scrolling through Instagram. After a good 20 minutes, I stumble upon a poster from Joker.

The description says that the movie was a great success, bringing more than 200 million dollars, while fans around the world dressed up like the character, not only inside the theater, but also on the streets. The movie had a great impact.

Well I can't disagree...

My mind automatic goes to yesterday's night events. I couldn't even find out his name.

My Joker.

I still remember the way he held me, the way he comforted me...how safe I felt. And those dark orbs...

Fuck. How stupid am I? ... like seriously.

For the first time in my life, I let myself relax in the presence of someone else.. someone that I like..?

Noooo don't be ridiculous Daphne. You can't like him. You don't even know his name. Besides you don't like people, at least not in that way. Relationships are not for you. Sharing feelings with someone else is not for you.

You are too insecure. Too damaged.

My phone vibrates, bringing me out of my thoughts.

Two new messages from Khloe. Well I kind of expected that. She was really scared for me, after what happened in the cinema. She kept talking about it on and on, till we got home. It took all my strength to persuade her and Kassie, not to tell anything to my mom. Honestly, I don't think I could deal with her hysteria at the moment.

I know she will bring up the topic as soon as she sees me at the university. And probably tell what happened to our friends. FML.

It's going to be a long ass day.

''Hey Daphne'', I turn around to see Mikaela.

''What's up?'' I ask.

''Nothing much. I had a shitty weekend'' she says with a pout on her face, while looking at the sandwiches behind the glass.

We are currently standing in line, at the university's canteen. I can see her from the corners of my eyes, thinking about her next meal. If I know her well, she already had breakfast, so this is the second or third meal of her day. What? She likes food. She is also blessed, with a metabolism that allows her to eat as much as she wants, without gaining weight.

I know. Every girl's dream.

Well I can't be jealous of her. My body works the same way. I just don't eat that much. I don't have the appetite for it.

''One black irish coffee ''. I hear my order and head to the cashier.

''I'm going to sit over there ok?'' I say to her. We still have about 15 minutes before our class begins.

Soon I see her approaching the table, holding a baguette on her hand and a bottle of water.

''So what happened?'' I ask her, taking a sip from my coffee.

''Pff..don't get me started..''.

''That bad?''

''Yeah.. I mean I choose to leave the comfort of my house and spent the weekend on a fuckin tent, just to make him happy. And guess what? He had the audacity to tell me that I always complain and ruin the vibe of our trip.''

''Well did you?'' I ask, raising an eyebrow.

I mean I know her. The last time we went on vacation together, she got bitten by an infected mosquito and acted as if it was a snake. We spent 5 hours at the hospital trying to persuade her, but she was not having it.

''You would've complained too if you had to sleep on the ground, hearing all this buzzing from the outside. I could practically hear the insects crawling around us''.

A chuckle escaped my lips. ''Mikaela..''

''No I'm serious. I couldn't sleep all night. I was afraid I'll wake up covered in worms''. She said, making a disgusting face.

''But you didn't.''

''Ofcourse not. I gave up in the middle of the night and went to sleep in the car''.

After that I couldn't help my laugh.

''You understand how the rest of our day went. Honestly, if I had my car I would have left him behind to get eaten by the bears''.

''I'm sure you would''.

''Anyway. What about you? How was the movie? I can't believe I didn't come just to play, Dora the explorer with him''.

''I'm quite sure Dora didn't have a boyfriend.''

''Well I don't either. As I said we are just hanging out''.

''Yeah sure. Keep telling that to yourself''.

''I'm just giving him another chance. Although I already know how it will end''.

The last sentence came out from her mouth as a whisper, but I heard it loud and clear. I know how much she loves him. They are together 4 years now. But they fight. A lot. Seth has a temper and he hurt her so many times. It's like the 20th chance she is giving him.

I understand that it's difficult for her to let go. But some relationships are so toxic, I'm not sure if they worth the effort, especially if you are going to lose yourself in the process.

On the other hand, what do I know? I'm too scared to even share my thoughts with someone. Let alone my heart.

Before I have the chance to speak a word my phone rings. Khloe.

''Yes?''. I answer.

''Hey. Are you here already? The lesson is about to start.''

''Yeah, yeah.... I'm with Mick. We are coming''.

I hang up, getting up from my sit. Mikaela follows me.

''It seems Mr. Wells came on time today''.

''Great, another day in paradise''. She sarcastically replies, throwing away the remains of her sandwich in the trash bin, on are way out.

''Damn. My battery died.'' Zoey says.

We are currently inside the amphitheatre, 45 minutes after the lesson started and everybody has pretty much passed out. I mean except the selected elite sitting in the front rows. Of course.

''I was so close to win'' she fake cries. I can't even understand what she sees in that stupid game she plays all the time. But I'm not much of a player myself. So I don't judge.

''There is a party happening today. Are you perhaps interested?''. Zoey asks with a hopeful look on her face. She is always in for a night out.

''It's Monday'' I say, as if this information itself could stop her plans.

''So?'' she asks, raising an eyebrow.

''I'm in!'' Khloe jumps in before I can explain my point.

I sigh. It doesn't matter anyway.

''Yessss'' Zoey cheers.

''Shhhh, we are still in the middle of the class'' I whisper.

''What about you Mick?'' She continues, brushing off my comment.

''I could use a drink", Mikaela replies after a couple of seconds.

Oh I know what's coming.

''What about you little party pooper?'' Zoey teases me.

''You already know the answer'' I say. My eyes focused on the board, while I'm trying to take some notes.

''Come on, what are you going to do? Spent your time on Netflix like every other night?''.

Well that was the plan. I mean safer than the last time.

''I guess it's safer than yesterday night''. Khloe repeats my thoughts.

I pause.

Oh no. Please don't do this. Not now.

''What do you mean'' Zoey asks confused.

Don't.

''Well she almost passed out at the cinema. We found her in the bathroom''

''Whaaaat?'' Zoey whispered yelled.

''What happened?'' Mikaela turns to me worried.

Immediately I feel my anxiety kick in. I hate being the center of everyone's attention.

I already know how this will go. They are going to push me share details of what I felt and then try to find the cure to my problem. Only if there was any.

''Can't we just don't do this here?'' I plead.

''No. Spill it out''. Zoey insists.

God shoot me. I guess if I tell them some things they are going to leave me alone sooner.

''It's really nothing. I was just feeling unwell and went to the bathroom. Then I became dizzy, nothing too much, I think it was because I hadn't eat anything.''

There. That was a good one Daphne.

I picked my words careful, not to mention anything about my Joker.

''That doesn't explain why you were laying on someone's lap when we got there.'' Khloe says.

Thanks buddy. I can die in peace now.

''Or why you didn't call us''. She adds another bullet.

Well, I'm dead meat.

''Wait what? Whose lap?'' Both Zoey and Mikaela ask in shock.

I really can't do this right now.

''Can you guys just drop it? I'm fine. Nothing happened.''I finally say irritated.

''Well you didn't see what I saw, when we found you inside that bathroom''. Khloe continues.

Just shut up already.

''What do you mean?'' Zoey asks confused.

''She was just laying there, white as a paper, while a random dude stroke her hair''. She says.

''That sounds...weird?'' Zoey tries to find words.

''Who was he Daphne?'' Finally Mikaela asks the question I wanted to avoid.

I inhale deeply. My heart is beating so fast right now and I feel my hands getting all sweaty. Calm down Daphne.

''No one.'' I lie. ''Just leave it''.

''But...'' Zoey starts, only she doesn't have the time to finish her sentence.

''Is there something you want to share with us girls? I can see you're quite eager to continue your conversation.'' Mr. Wells says from the front of the class.

We stay there dumbfounded.

''I guess not. In that case or you stay here and start paying attention to the lesson. Or you can go out and chat, without disturbing my class.'' He says with a judgmental look.

Everybody is starring at us. And for the first time in my life, I'm happy we got caught by Mr. Wells.

Turning around he continues his lecture.

The four of us grab our pens and start keeping notes. I feel a little nudge from Mikaela, who is sitting next to me.

''I'm sorry if we brought you in an awkward position. We were just worried and overreacted.''

I just nod.

''Are you sure you're ok?'' she whispers looking at me intensely.

I know she is trying to read me. But she is not as good as me.

I only need to put a smile on my face and say the three words everyone wants to hear.

And that's exactly what I do.

.