*.*.*.*.*.*

It's settled -- I'm going to Rice University, which is just within driving radius for me.

As for Xavier, we've been driving around, dropping applications at colleges close enough too. Even though he doesn't seem too confident, I'm sure he'll get accepted into at least one of them.

Dad has never looked happier, and though he says I can go wherever I want, even Cambridge, I can see the happiness bubbling in his eyes.

He -- like Xavier -- thinks I'm doing this because I don't want to be away from Xavier. They're both right, to an extent, but I'm never admitting it.

So, instead of being labeled the crazy girl who's giving up her future for her crush, I'm the good girl who's putting other people first.

Xavier isn't hopeful about getting into a college. Even though his overall academic record isn't totally bad -- aside from his senior year -- and his English scores are pretty good because he's got a very literary mind, he's just happy I'm not totally throwing my life in the trash. But when he writes a bomb essay for his application and some original poems that dad even fowards to a magazine editor, I'm sure he's going to get into a great university.

It takes a while but Xavier finally gets accepted into The Art Institute of Houston, which is both amazing and miraculous. He can hardly believe it, but I'm dancing and bouncing on the balls of my feet all day. It's not the best university for English Lit but at least it's not too far and has a recognized degree.

"You can go to an even better place for post-grad," dad tells Xavier, beaming. He takes us out for dinner and I have never seen him laugh this much.

Even through the uncertainty and disbelief, Xavier, too, seems happier. He's smiling more, talking to dad and me, and even eating his entire meal. Under the table, he doesn't let go of my hand the entire time we're at the restaurant, and when dad asks if he wants to drive us back, Xavier glows like a lightbulb.

I don't know who I love more, Xavier or my dad.

Pretty sure it's dad.

The next morning is brighter than one I expect, and it radiates the same kind of happiness I feel, waking up with Xavier's arms around me.

It still gets me all weak in the knees, causing me to smile like the joker.

I wonder why Xavier doesn't find me creepy. I'm pretty sure I am.

"I have to go home," he says all of a sudden.

Glancing up from my paperwork, I look towards Xavier, who is sitting beside me on the couch, leaning back with his arm around me.

"For what?" I ask, already anxious due to the serious look on his face.

I don't like his serious look. It's unpredictable. It means he's going to say something he knows I won't like.

"I have some money saved up." He sighs, looking at me with those swirling grey eyes. "I need it for tuition."

I open my mouth to answer and stop, frowning to myself. I'd love to tell him not to go, as I doubt dad would refuse to pay Xavier's tuition. Dad loves Xavier more than he loves me, and I'm pretty sure he'll ask me to get scholarship so Xavier can study without one.

I love my dad for this.

"Can't we --"

Xavier kisses me to silence me, and -- even after three hundred times -- his kiss still wipes my mind blank. He leans back and looks into my eyes, and I'm almost sure I'm drooling.

Get a grip, Haley!

"Can I come with you?" I ask him, trying not to sound clingy but not wanting him to go alone.

Xavier smiles, making my heart drop through the couch I'm sitting on. "I was hoping you'd say that."

It's only after an hour that Xavier and I walk hand in hand to his apartment. It's been over a month that Xavier has been living with us, and that means he hasn't been back home in all this time. Dad said he talked to child services and they refused to let Xavier be on his own, so coming home wasn't safe for him.

My dad decided cheating the service and hiding Xavier in our basement till he turns eighteen is a better idea.

Now I know where I got my neurotic imagination from.

Now I also think I know why my dad didn't remarry. Maybe he's gay and he's secretly in love with Xavier.

I gotta keep an eye on my dad.

Xavier turns to look at me when we are outside his door, glancing into my eyes and forcing a small smile.

"Wait out here, okay?" he instructs.

I nod, remembering what happened the last time I disobeyed him. The beating he received at the warehouse all those months ago because he was trying to keep me hidden still hasn't escaped my mind. Now that I think about it, Xavier stole my heart that day. How many guys get beaten up for girls they barely know?

This one, oh yeah!

My bae.

Xavier plants a quick kiss on my forehead -- which is better than any kiss on the lips can ever be -- and unlocks the door with a key I didn't even know he had. He finally lets go of my hand, stepping into the dark apartment and half-closing the door behind him.

My foot taps anxiously and my heart beats loudly, but I keep my eyes peeled and ears perked to detect the slightest sound. I have a bad feeling about being here, and inwardly, I'm just praying that Xavier hurries up and we can get out of here without anything going wrong.

Why do I feel like something is going to go wrong?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm going crazy.

Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Maybe I'm afraid of losing Xavier.

Maybe I'm --

A loud crash sounds from inside the apartment.

-- right!

I nearly jump out of my skin, wanting to run into the apartment to make sure Xavier's okay. I don't know what's going on, but the sounds coming from the other side are anything but friendly.

"Stop, dad!"

Xavier's voice rips through my heart, causing adrenaline to shoot through me. Before I can stop myself from being stupid, I burst in through the door and into the darkness of hell.

It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the lack of light, and the stale smell of alcohol, tobacco, and rotting food makes me want to throw up. Blinking, I scan my surroundings, only to see the entire place a mess. There are beer bottles rolling around on the ground and cluttered on the table, food wrappers everywhere on the old, half-broken and nearly ancient furniture.

What knocks the breath right out of me is the sight of Xavier pressed against the wall ... choking.

A large man in a greasy tank-top and baggy trousers has his hands curled around Xavier's neck. His back is towards me, but I can see Xavier's face as clearly as I know I'm not dreaming.

"You little fucker, trying to outrun me, huh?" the man is grumbling.

Xavier's face is pale as paper, as he grips the wrists of his stepdad to try and stop him.

"STOP!"

My voice echoes in the silence, and the man jumps back, dropping Xavier. Xavier bends over, coughing and rubbing his neck with one hand while keeping the other on his knees.

Two pairs of eyes spin around to look at me. One grey, full of fear and desperation, the other brown, murderous and mocking.

"Haley, run --" Xavier croaks.

I look from him to his perpetrator, who smirks at me. The big, fat, disgusting man smirks. Proof, good guys don't smirk. My Xavier never smirks.

The man licks his lips, his eyes trailing down the length of my body in a way that makes me want to crawl into a hole and die there.

"Get out of here!" Xavier yells this time, jumping up and trying to sidestep the man to get to me.

The man sticks out his fat leg, causing Xavier to stumble and land facedown on the hard ground.

I gasp.

Xavier groans.

And the man laughs.

He freaking laughs!

"You better listen to him, girl," he says to me, his voice raspy from smoking too many cigarettes. He tilts his head sideways, giving me another once-over. "If you know what's good for you."

"Please! Please, Mr. --" my voice fades away as I try to figure out what to say. I want to help Xavier. I want to run over to him, help him up and rush him out of here before he gets hurt. No matter how many dirty glares this man shoots me, I know Xavier is in greater trouble here than I am.

Maybe I can jump his stepdad and poke his eyes out with my nails.

"Haley, what are you ...?" Xavier stumbles up.

The man spins around with such speed, his movement is nothing but a blur. His fist hits Xavier squarely in the nose, causing him to fallbacks against the wall.

"NO!" my voice breaks out of my throat, dry sobs following it. "Please, don't hurt him, I beg you --"

"Haley, go!" Xavier shouts at me.

"What are you going to do about it?" the man asks me, a snake-like grin playing along his black lips, one broad hand rubbing his belly.

Murder your ass?

I don't know what to say, looking between Xavier and the man whom he calls father.

"Anything --" I choke.

The man laughs but Xavier lungs forward, and I expect him to run towards me. Instead, he grabs the man by the neck from behind, locking his arms around it. The man chokes, caught completely off-guard.

"Get out of here, Haley!" Xavier half-orders, half-begs me. A trail of blood trickles out of his nose and into his mouth.

Wanting to help, I pull my phone out of my pocket and start to back away without Xavier's dad noticing. My plan is to call the police or --

"Drop it or he dies," the man orders me, pointing a thick finger toward Xavier. "Drop it now."

I look from Xavier to the man and back, my hand trembling. Everything is happening too fast for me for my mind to make connection of things. Nothing makes sense. Life doesn't make sense.

This is not a side of the world I have seen. Ever.

My dad has always kept me locked in a bubble, safe and protected from the dangers of the world. That's what fathers are supposed to do. They're supposed to be our heroes, our saviors, images of God. They're not supposed to be our villains. They're not supposed to be our murders. They are not supposed to be like the man standing in front of me.

"Run --" Xavier begs, his voice breaking when the man elbows him in the ribs, pushing him back without a beat.

Xavier isn't a big, bad, bodybuilder. He isn't like those guys you read in books about, with six packs and biceps and superhero-like strength. Xavier is human. He's just a teenager, with lean arms, a beautiful face, and oceans of sadness in his eyes.

His villain pushes him back, slapping his face twice. I scream, sobbing harder than I ever remember crying. My tears blind me, and my feet refuse to obey, stumbling over themselves as I run towards Xavier. Before I reach them, the man is already dropping Xavier and darting towards the couch.

I reach Xavier, stumbling to a stop and punching 911 into my phone. Xavier's arms wrap protectively around me, his lean frame shaking with wheezing breaths. His hands hold me to him, his eyes fixed on the man rummaging under the cushions trying to find something. I don't get to see what he has in his hands when he straightens up, because before I can do so, Xavier has already pushed me behind himself, his body shielding mine from view.

"911, what's your emergency?" the low female voice floats out of my speaker.

"Drop the phone," the man's voice reaches me.

Xavier's breathing comes ragged, his hands holding me behind him as if hiding me from an oncoming storm.

"Please, put that down," Xavier says, his voice so small.

Put what down?

"Give me that phone," the man repeats slowly.

I hear Xavier swallow. "Please just ... let us go."

"We need help," I whisper in the phone, hidden behind Xavier.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, can you speak up?" the lady on the line asks.

"You have three seconds," the man says.

Almost unnoticeably, Xavier is shifting on his feet. I don't know what's going on or what could possibly be happening.

"Three," the man counts down.

"Please, we need help," I speak louder into the phone.

Xavier's hands let go of me.

"Two."

"WE NEED HELP!" I yell into the phone, prepared to attack, knowing I don't stand a chance but willing to do anything to help Xavier.

"One."

As if in the blink of an eye, Xavier launches towards his stepdad, leaving my view open to see whatever happens. It takes only a moment for me to see the gun in the man's hand. Only a moment for Xavier to grab a beer bottle off a table. Only a moment for him to slam the bottle squarely across the man's face.

There is an array of unexpected sounds -- the sound of a bottle smashing against something hard. The sound of a groan when the man feels the blow. And the sound of a gun going off.

A gunshot deafens me.

And three things fall at the same time.

The man falls onto his back, lying still.

Silence falls as the storm settles into deathly stillness.

And --

Neither of these things could have prepared me for the third.

-- Xavier falls.

*.*.*.*.*.*