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Things have never been more peaceful in my life.

Although losing mom hurts, maybe it was my ticket for freedom. Because I'm free. Free from all the abuse. All the pain. All the thoughts of wishing I was anywhere but where I was.

Being with Haley is as easy as breathing. Being in her house, even with her father there, is more comfortable than anything I have ever experienced.

Elias goes to work every day, leaving Haley and I at home. I've talked to them about wanting to go back to work too, but Elias doesn't think that's a good idea. If child services are actually looking for me, the first place they'll check is the factory where I work.

Not to mention my stepdad showing up uninvited and turning everything upside down again.

"I'll take care of everything," Elias always comforts me, a fatherly smile set on his face.

Haley reaches for my hand, as usual, giving it a gentle squeeze as her face glimmers hopefully.

And everything seems perfect.

I spend the days with Haley in her house, listening to her talk all day, every day. She talks about everything, from TV shows to music, to her favorite nail-color. It's black.

Sometimes we watch movies, other times just talk -- I listen -- about anything that comes into Haley's mind. We hold hands, hug, kiss, and make love sometimes. What can I say? We can't help it.

I helped Haley clean up the guest room, but the place doesn't feel as nice as the living-room couch. Mostly because it's out of Haley's immediate access. She sleeps downstairs these days, on a mattress next to the couch. I had insisted she sleep on the couch instead, but she didn't want her dad to complain.

We fall asleep holding hands, and though it seems cheesy to be doing that, I would do anything for Haley.

"Xavier? Can you come here a minute?"

Elias's voice calls me to the kitchen, and I glance towards the stairs before getting up and walking towards it. Haley went to her room to take a bath, and my mind has been preoccupied with her since then. I've tried to distract myself from the fact that she's up there in the shower, but my thoughts keep going back to her every few minutes.

When I enter the kitchen, I see Elias standing by the table. He smiles when he sees me, extending an envelope towards me.

"Have you seen this?" he asks softly.

"No, sir," I answer, frowning at the envelope.

"Have a look," he says, dropping it onto the table.

I reach out for it, half-afraid of what it might be. My fingers take hold of the slightly crumpled envelope and I take out the wrinkled letter. My heart beats fast and I don't know what to expect.

Stanford University Montag Hall 355 Galvez Street Stanford, CA

14th July, 2018

Haley Marie-Ann Rosamond

Texas. 1234 San Felipe. Houston, Texas 77057

Dear Haley

Congratulations! You have received this letter to inform you regarding your acceptance to the Stanford UG program. Due to your high grades, test scores, outstanding essay and application, our staff is convinced that you will become a great addition to our student body.

You will find the attached paperwork needed, including the acceptance form that you have to fill out if you decide to attend the optional courses (list attached). The new students are offered orientation which takes place on 3rd September, and the first day of the first semester is 10th September. We expect to meet you at the orientation. A warm congratulations from our part.

Sincerely,

Mr. Galway, HOD Dept. of Statistics, Stanford U.

I stare at the letter for a long time, my heart beating in my throat and preventing me from speaking.

"This ..." I clear my throat. "This is great. Haley will love this. She's been waiting to go to Stanford for so long now and ..." My voice fades away when the realization hits.

Haley is going to California. She's going so far away, 1650 miles to be exact.

It tears my heart to bits inside, knowing that we might be apart not long from now. Strange how just a week ago I was unsure of whether to lead her on or stay, and now when she's about to leave, I can't seem to find it in me to watch her walk away.

"You know where I found this, Xavier?" Elias awakens me from my reverie.

I blink in confusion, turning my gaze back to him.

The smile on Elias' face tells me more than his words do.

"The garbage can," he tells me. "I found this letter in the trash."

But ... how is that possible?

Every time we studied together, every time Haley mentioned the future, Stanford was always there. Her preoccupation with Calculus and with Stanford U found its way into every conversation, every mention of what life will be like in the future. This letter was what she worked so long for. This was her dream.

What changed?

"That's insane," I say, looking down at the letter again. "Haley ... she should go. She should ... why would she change her mind?"

"I think you know the answer to that, Xavier." Elias smiles wider.

I'm still staring at the letter, reading it over and over until I know each word by heart. Haley's light footsteps and leisurely humming sounds behind me, growing louder with each passing second.

"Who wants cake? I'm going to bake one," she announces into the kitchen air, entering the thickness and wiping it away.

That's just how she is. That's so Haley.

She catches sight of me and stops in her tracks, her face draining of all color when she sees what I'm holding.

"Where'd you get that?" she asks breathlessly.

"Why'd you throw it away?" I inquire, skipping the formalities.

Haley blinks a couple of times before shrugging and trying to shake it off. "I'm not really sure Stanford is a great idea so ..."

"So you're not going to college?" I ask, forgetting that her father is still between us. "Haley, you --"

"I will go to college, just ... maybe not one so far away." Haley turns her back on me, pretending to be engrossed in the cake batter she has begun pouring out of a box and into a bowl.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would you ... Haley, this is crazy. You can't do this."

"Do what?"

I stare at the back of her head, unable to understand why, when, and how Haley became this way. She was always the cool girl, unaffected by the things around her and keeping her eyes on the goal. It was evident in everything she did. She stuck by me, helping me study, even when I wasn't interested, even when her friends questioned her, and even when she could see I was going to mess things up. She stuck by me because she wanted to.

"Haley ..." I race up to her and take hold of her arm, spinning her around.

Her wide eyes scan my face as if looking for something.

"You should go," I say.

"But --"

"Please, Haley ... don't give up on this."

Her forehead creases, and I see regret flash in her brown eyes.

"You want me to go?" Her voice is soft and low.

My own catches in my throat. "Yes," I say. I lie.

Haley's jaw clenches, and she sticks out her chin defiantly.

"Well, I don't." She sidesteps me, already hurrying out of the kitchen.

Not looking at her father, who has shrunken into a corner to give us some privacy, I hurry out of the kitchen after her. Haley runs up the stairs towards her room and I follow, jumping two steps at a time.

"Haley, wait!"

She closes the door behind her but I push it open, entering it for the first time without her explicit permission. Haley turns back to look at me, her eyes intense and face fuming.

"What?"

"Don't do this," I say, not wanting her to give up on her future for me.

If I think about college, I would love to enroll in a literature degree. It was a dream of mine that I gave up on when I realized I'll never be able to afford mom's treatment and my own education. The treatment was more important.

"You deserve better --"

Haley folds her arms across her chest and cocks an eyebrow.

"-- than this. Than me --"

"Stop."

"-- and I don't want you to --"

"Xavier --"

"-- give up on your future because of some stupid crush --"

"Xavier!"

"-- on some useless guy like me --"

Haley's hand comes to clasp on my mouth, stifling my breathless rant.

Her brown eyes meet mine and she looks intently into me, straight into my soul.

"Xavier Hunt ..." she begins slowly and deliberately. "Are you trying to tell me what to do?"

I stare at her, unable to believe how she can be so casual about this. I can't let her do this. Not for me.

"Haley --" I lower her hand from my mouth, holding it firmly between both of mine. "Why are you doing this?"

"You want to know the truth? I don't want to go anymore."

"Why not?" I almost exclaim.

"Because I don't want to leave you --"

"Haley --"

"-- or my dad behind," she says, sighing and closing her eyes.

"You were ready to leave your dad before," I point out.

"I know, but I was wrong." Haley looks into my eyes again. "I don't want to go so far away, and that's the truth."

"You're making a mistake," I tell her.

"No, I'm not." She's so firm.

"You're going to regret it if you --"

"If I leave, yes," she finishes for me. "Xavier, you don't get it. I've been thinking and I realize ... I was stupid to want to go to Stanford."

"No, you're stupid for wanting to stay back," I correct her.

"Stop, Xavier," Haley snaps, huffing in frustration. "Look, I've already made up my mind. I'm not going."

"If this is because of me --"

"This is because of me, Xavier," she says, scowling at me. "Me. No one else. I don't want to go because I don't want to become like my mom."

I stare at her, unable to understand her words.

"My mom left because she wanted what she didn't have," Haley goes on. "And the truth is, I have everything I want right now. I have an amazing father who loves me and would do anything for me. I have you. I have a home, peace, happiness, and I'd be a fool to give this all up."

I'm still staring at her.

"I realized this when your mom died," she says. "I'm sorry for bringing that up but ... it made me see that I can't lose my dad. I can't go away knowing how alone he'll be. He's given up his life for me. He doesn't date, doesn't make friends, doesn't have any personal life. I'm all he has and leaving would be the most selfish thing I can do."

"But you can't stay here, what would your dad think?" I point out.

"My dad has never made me do anything I don't want to do, Xavier," she says to me. "He has taught me to be my own person, given me the confidence to make my own choices. You can't take that right away from me."

"This is wrong," I say, shaking my head.

Haley sighs.

"I know dad wants me to go," she says. "Because he wants me to be happy. He let my mom go when she wanted, and he'll never hold me back either. And you know what?"

She touches a gentle hand to my face, caressing my cheekbone with her soft fingers before leaning in and pressing her soft lips against mine.

I close my eyes and fight back the screams. Of pain, or anger, or regret, or gratefulness, I don't know.

Haley breaks the kiss, resting her forehead against mine.

"I'm not leaving either of you," she whispers, her warm breath fanning my lips.

And I know I can do nothing to change her mind.

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