*.*.*.*.*.*

I don't know what I'm thinking when I ask Xavier to stay over tonight. A part of it involves me not wanting him to go home to his abusive step-dad. But I would be lying if I said that was all.

Somewhere deep inside my heart, I'm hoping Xavier staying over the night would make him ... open up some more.

Yes, I'm being too bold, but considering he kissed me tonight, I don't want to take things slow. Slow scares me when it comes to Xavier. He might change his mind and take a step back again. That is the last thing I want.

I soundlessly push the door open, holding my breath and hoping dad won't find out. Pushing the door just wide enough for Xavier and I to pass through, I lead him in, his hand in mine. I tiptoe on the carpet, afraid I'm going to slip and fall in my heels. Two steps in, and I resignedly bend down and take the heels off, picking them up and sighing in relief when my bare feet touch the soft carpet.

Xavier's clammy hands in mine, I make a beeline straight for the stairs. My bare toes have barely touched the first step when Xavier tugs on my hand. I stop and look back at him, glancing briefly at my dad's closed door. I raise my eyebrows at Xavier, giving him a questioning look.

His eyes flicker upwards, an uncertain expression on his face. He looks like he's unsure of whether to go to my room or not. What does he think? That I'll abduct him and murder him? Tie him to a chair and cut his balls off? Or is he perhaps afraid that I'll rape him?

I bite my lip anxiously, my eyes darting towards dad's room again. "Dad won't know," I reassure him.

Thankfully, he doesn't resist, and we hurry up the stairs as silent as mimes. Pushing Xavier into the room -- a little too quickly -- I close the door behind me and lock it. I finally exhale, bowing my head in relief.

We're alive.

The house around me is silent, and Xavier's soft breathing behind me is so pronounced I can clearly hear it. The only other thing I hear is my own escalating heartbeat as I sense Xavier step closer.

"Are you sure?" he whispers, his voice particularly husky and controlled. Xavier has never been this close to me, and I admit I love the feeling.

I open my mouth to answer, but no words escape my lips, my voice catching in my throat. My heart is loud, too loud, my breathing growing heavier and more uneven by the second.

My touch sensers tingles when Xavier's hand scrapes mine, as light as a feather. Goosebumps appear on the skin as his fingers trail slowly up my bare arm, and a shiver runs down my spine, my breath catching in my throat. I don't breathe, afraid of giving away how nervous I am. And when Xavier's index finger finally tugs at the thin strap of my dress, slowly dragging it down my shoulder, I'm beginning to doubt myself.

Crazily though, I'm kind of excited, forgetting everything about how 'first time' is supposed to hurt and all that stuff my friends have told me about their first experience. And when Xavier's hand slides my hair to one side and his breath fans my neck, all I want is to know he wants exactly what I want.

Would it kill Xavier to actually say something for once?

"I'm sure," I breathe, hoping it would convey to him what I want.

"I thought you'd never say so," Xavier teases, his breath tickling my ear.

"One of us had to," I attempt to joke, but my breathlessness gives me away.

It comes as a shock when Xavier spins me around. I gasp, blinking when my eyes meet his sparkling grey ones. His already glittering eyes stare intently into mine, searching for God-knows-what.

Is he still unsure of what I want? What more to do I have to do to convince him? Do I say 'Xavier, sleep with me?' He probably won't even understand that, taking it to mean 'sleeping' together. In the literal sense of the word 'sleeping'. I would say 'have sex with me' if I wasn't afraid he'd even doubt that.

"I can't believe it's me you want," he mumbles back, staring at me with what I assume is disbelief.

"Oh, please, not that again," I grumble.

Knowing Xavier will probably never make a move, I lean towards him, getting up on my tippy toes and placing my lips against his. Closing my eyes, I reach up and grab the collar of his tux, forcing him to bend down.

He yanks off his tuxedo coat, wrenching off the bowtie that I admit looks so cute on him. My hands fidget with the buttons on his shirt, which we rip off and toss aside without a second glance.

"Xavier, wait ..." I gasp.

He stops instantly as if having expected me to come to my senses and stop him. His eyes find mine and I see questions swirling in them.

"I ..." I clear my throat. "I've never ... before, I mean ... and ..."

My face flushes red, and I'm worried about what he might say. Xavier's expression, though, softens further.

"You think I have?" he raises his eyebrows a fraction.

I stare at him, struck speechless by the obvious. What was I expecting? That Xavier has had someone before me? Yes. Yes, I was. I was thinking Xavier might know more than I do. I was expecting something about him to be predictable

I am not the clumsy, good girl who has fallen for the school bad boy who has slept with every girl on the planet. My Xavier is not that boy. He is only mine.

He leans down and I close my eyes, kissing him back softly when his lips mold with mine. His kiss is gentle, passionate, but reassuring at the same time. Xavier isn't eloquent, I know that, and I assume this is his way of telling me I have nothing to be afraid of. I'm not afraid, not with him around. Not with Xavier.

I have nothing to fear.

*.*.*.*.*.*

Light peeks in through the curtains and flashes off my mirror into my eyes. I squeeze them tighter, shifting my face into the soft cushions to keep the rays of light from penetrating the papery skin of my eyelids. I shift, and something shifts next to me. Something ... or someone!

My eyes open slowly and the first thing I see is Xavier's beautiful face in my line of vision. Is it strange that I can't stop staring?

His eyes are closed, a peaceful expression on his pale face, a stark contrast to the dark fringe flopping lazily onto his forehead. His bare chest heaves evenly up and down, his body tangled with mine in the sheets on my bed.

I notice his arm still wrapped around me, his lips an inch from mine, the bruises on his handsome face pronounced. Trying to be as subtle as possible, I reach up and touch his cheek softly without waking him up.

An unintentional smile spreads across my face, a strange kind of happiness filling my heart. I can hardly believe this, everything that happened last night and then waking up in Xavier's arms ...

He grunts heavily, repositioning his head on my pillows, and I freeze. Xavier's eyelashes flutter, slowly lifting to reveal the grey eyes I have begun to love so dearly.

I smile sheepishly. "Morning."

Xavier blinks lazily, returning my creepy smile with his own beautiful one.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask, making a lame attempt at small-talk.

Xavier nods unnoticeably.

"You should stay over more often," I blurt out, suddenly realizing what I'm implying and turning bright red. "I mean, I ... I just ..."

Xavier's smile widens, and he looks simply amused.

"I need to think before I speak," I admit with an embarrassed laugh.

"No, you don't," Xavier says. "You're cool."

Cool?

I smile. "You make me so nervous," I confess.

"You help me relax," he counters.

Could this day get any better?

"Haley!" Dad's voice calls from outside my door and I shoot up in bed, my eyes wide as footballs.

"Dad," I gasp. "Oh, my --"

Xavier's hand clasps on my mouth, silencing me before I can shout and give us away. I turn my wide-eyes gaze towards him and he nods silently, comforting me in his own way that it's okay. I focus on his eyes, freezing so I won't mess everything up.

"Haley, you up?" Dad knocks on my door.

Xavier's hand slowly lowers from my mouth and he takes my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Y -- yeah," I stammer loudly, my eyes fixed on Xavier, who smiles encouragingly.

"Well, breakfast is ready, honey, I'm waiting," dad says.

"I'll be right there," I answer quickly.

I hear his footsteps leading away from my room, the gentle thumping of his feet on the stairs as he descends them at an even pace. A sharp breath leaves my lips and Xavier tilts his head to one side.

"What now?" he asks.

"What?" I ask stupidly.

Xavier's eyes sparkle mischievously. "You said your dad won't find out," he reminds me. "What's the plan?"

I stare blankly at him, waiting for my mind to return to its usual level of functioning. Xavier's smile is enough to send it into overdrive, and considering I just slept with him, it might be decades before I regain my normal sensation.

"The window," I blurt out without blinking.

Xavier's brow furrows and we both turn to look at the window in synch. Sure enough, my window stands open, the wind playing with the soft, lace curtains hanging there.

"No, wait, you'll get hurt," I reject my own idea.

"I'll be fine," Xavier says.

"No. There has to be another way," I say quickly, trying to figure out what 'other way' we could possibly have.

Now that I actually think about it, I realize we don't have many options, to begin with. Either I could go downstairs with Xavier and admit to my dad that I had a boy in my bed last night, thereby telling him that he should never have trusted me to be out after curfew. Or I could hit him on the head with a pipe and knock him unconscious until Xavier is far away from my house. This idea is definitely my inner psychopathic tendency to be a serial killer, and I am not even considering listening to it, not admitting that I had this idea at all.

The only thing left to do is let Xavier jump out of my window, maybe break a few bones, fracture a leg, and end up being an amputee that I will forever drag around in a wheelchair while carrying our kids on my back.

Did I just admit to fantasizing about having kids with Xavier?

"Haley, I'll be fine," Xavier repeats, gently caressing my cheek with his fingers and waking me from my crazy daydreaming.

I giggle like a creep, slamming a hand over my mouth.

What the hell has Xavier done to me?

Xavier smiles and nods again.

I don't argue, wishing my mind would work and give me some better ideas. Maybe the 'knocking my dad unconscious' idea isn't so bad after all.

"Use ..." My eyes dart around the room, passing over our discarded clothing and trying to find something that could possibly be of help to Xavier. "My sheets. Like ... Rapunzel, you know?"

Xavier is positively amused, looking like he's about to laugh. He doesn't, for my sake, smiling and nodding. He leans in and plants a quick kiss on my forehead. Using my hand, though, I redirect his face towards my own, kissing him on the lips instead.

Oh, I'm such a bad bad girl ...

"Mhm, morning breath," Xavier retorts.

I scowl.

Way to go, Xav.

He's such a party-pooper.

Xavier smiles like he can hear my thoughts, planting a quick kiss on my lips and jumping out of bed. Like a nasty pervert, I watch him hurriedly get dressed, a scandalous smile on my lips. Xavier notices me watching, and though I try to avert my gaze, his eyeroll tells me he's not fooled.

"And people call me the bad boy," Xavier points out.

"People don't know shit," I respond.

"Oh, bad words, huh?" Xavier leans in and kisses me softly on the lips again.

Straightening up, he walks towards my window and rips apart the curtains. He shoots me one last smile, tipping his head in a farewell gesture. My smile vanishes instantly, and his foot is already on the ledge by the time I realize it.

Not only could Xavier get badly hurt, but there is another major flaw in my plan. I realize ...

This is a terrible idea!

*.*.*.*.*.*