《Alpha Dylan》Chapter 44 | Is This Just A Game?

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"Don't lie. Is it disgusting?" Dylan asked me, his brows furrowed as he watched me slowly chew his tomato pasta.

"No, no it's not," I lied, shaking my head, but Dylan rolled his eyes, grabbing the bowl from me and throwing the food in the trash.

"I can tell when you're lying, Clara," my mate laughed, setting the bowl down in the sink. "I know I'm not a good cook."

I swallowed the over salted mouthful of food, laughing. "It wasn't that bad."

"It tasted like acid."

Jumping off the stool, I made my way over to him, wrapping my arms around his back, enjoying the way his muscles relaxed under my touch. "Thank you for trying."

"I'll heat up some soup for you instead."

I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filling it up with water, quickly guzzling it down, wiping at the excess water that dribbled down my chin. "I'm not hungry anymore. I want to go back to sleep."

Dylan looked me up and down, before sighing, shaking his head. "You've been sleeping all day every day, baby. I don't think it's good for you mentally."

I ran my hands through my hair, plopping myself down on the sofa, resting my head back against the leather. "I don't have to think about everything when I'm asleep."

My mate settled down next to me, looking over me with pity, cupping my cheeks. "I know you're struggling, and that's absolutely fine, but please listen to me. We need to do something about this. I'm not letting you waste away in your bed. You deserve far more than that."

Dylan leaned forward, capturing my lips with his, kissing me softly and lovingly, before pulling away and resting his forehead against mine. "We are a team, okay? We are in this together."

I nodded, smiling sadly at my mate, feeling overwhelmingly thankful for everything he had done for me, knowing he was also struggling, but wasn't letting on how much everything was affecting him.

"I'll let Beta Charles know that we've made our decision about your pack re-locating, and that everyone will need to pack up and be ready by tomorrow morning."

I furrowed my brows, chewing on my tongue harshly. "That doesn't give everyone a whole lot of time."

"I know, but it's better to do this quickly for the safety of the pack."

"Do you even have enough space over here? What about houses? Where will everyone be staying?"

Dylan placed a kiss on the top of my head, smiling at me. "It's all sorted. We had a few empty houses anyway, and my men have been working hard building new ones just in case. It'll be a bit of a squeeze, but I think we can make it work once all of the houses are finished."

"Thank you. Thank you for everything."

I wheeled my way into Amelia's living room, smiling at the sight of her sprawled across the entire sofa, her face buried into a large bag of pretzels.

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"Save some for the rest of us," I chuckled, causing her to look up, slightly embarrassed, her face tinged pink.

"Um, sorry," she spoke, her voice quiet.

Something about Amelia had changed in the past week. She was no longer her cocky, sarcastic self. Instead, she had let her wall down, and revealed to me that she was actually quite insecure and unsure of herself.

Gazing over at her, I saw her shift uncomfortably, fiddling with her hands in her lap. "Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you're beautiful," I said, the words slipping out of my mouth before I had time to process them myself.

Amelia raised her brows, surprise clear across her face, her eyes wide.

"Sorry," I said, awkwardly scratching the back of my head. "That was unnecessary. I didn't mean to say that."

My mate laughed to herself, flashing me a quick smile, causing my heart rate to quicken. "It's okay."

"We can just forget I said that if you want. I know we are trying to be friends."

Amelia nodded, avoiding eye contact with me, silence filling the air.

"You know what? Fuck it. I don't want to forget I said that," I said, shaking my head. "It's something you need to hear. You need to hear me say that I'm struggling to be friends with you, because I don't see you as a friend. You're so much more than that to me."

"Jared, I-"

"No, Amelia, please let me say this. I know we've spoken about everything and I know you regret what happened and how things started between us, but I can't pretend anymore. I want you. That might scare you and make you freak out, but I've been going crazy this past week because I don't know what you want. I don't know if you actually want me."

I attempted to force back the tears that were pooling in my eyes, and when Amelia finally looked up at me, I saw that tears were streaming down her face, her bottom lip wobbling.

"I'm sorry," she cried, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "I'm sorry that I can't give you an answer. I don't want a relationship right now."

"This is killing me, Amelia."

"I know," she nodded, sighing heavily. "I had always planned to reject my mate."

At the word 'reject', my breathing started to quicken, and I felt like my heart was about to pop out of my chest, fear flowing through my body.

"I planned to reject you after I saw you at Dylan's party. I kept looking over at you, trying to force myself to go over to you and do it."

I swallowed harshly, my jaw clamped together, not knowing where my mate was going with this story.

"But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it, because the more I looked at you, the more I wanted to to get to know you, and it scared me. That's why I kissed Dean. I thought it might make you reject me."

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The painful memory of Amelia kissing Dean replayed in my head, causing my heart to break yet again inside of me, my wolf becoming more than uncomfortable. "Why did you want to reject me?"

My mate sniffled, laughing to herself sadly. "Because I'm a coward. It wasn't anything to do with you. I had already decided I was going to do it years prior, because I didn't want to be controlled, but I think I need to be. I don't like the person I am, Jared."

I watched as Amelia broke down in front of me, and I quickly wheeled myself over to her, pulling her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her as she cried into my chest, her salty tears soaking my shirt.

"It's okay, baby," I soothed her, rubbing small circles on her back, allowing her to let out all of her emotions, knowing it was what she needed.

A part of my would never forgive her for kissing someone else in front of me, but I didn't want to hold onto that memory for the rest of my life.

I didn't have many people in my life that cared about me, and the fact that Amelia was starting to, gave me hope for the future.

"I just don't want to promise anything to you. I don't want to let you down. I don't want to hurt you again,"whispered Amelia between hiccups, causing me to sigh heavily. "All I do is hurt you because I can't decide what I want."

The thought that she could change her mind any day broke my heart, making me feel uneasy. "Just let me in, Amelia. Don't fight me anymore."

She shook her head, pulling away and looking me in the eyes, her fingers tracing my jawline, tingles erupting, dancing across my skin.

"Amelia, I-"

"I got with someone else again," she blurted out, her eyes wide, causing my heart to stop.

"You got with someone?" I asked, the world feeling as if it was crashing down around me, crushing me slowly and painfully.

Amelia nodded, sniffling. "A few days ago. We were talking and we just...kissed."

I stared at my mate, shock overcoming me, causing my body to perspire; my fists shaking.

"Did you do anything else?" I questioned, my voice hoarse from how dry my throat had suddenly become.

Amelia shook her head, her teeth clenched. "I stopped it before we went all the way."

My heart was racing out of my chest, and I wanted to scream. Although my wolf was howling out in pain, and the feeling of overwhelming despair and betrayal was flowing through me, I forced it away, not wanting the situation to escalate anymore, knowing Amelia's emotions could change at the drop of a hat.

Was I an idiot for wanting to forgive her yet again? Probably.

"It's okay," I mumbled forcefully, my jaw tensed, my body still shaking.

"No, Jared. You don't get it. I can't be like this with you. Not yet. I'm not ready. Can't you wait for me? I don't want this right now!" she said, scrambling off my lap and back onto the couch, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Okay," I said, sighing, giving up, angry that my mate expected me to wait while she fooled around. "I can't do this anymore."

At my words, Amelia's eyes widened, her small hands shaking. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," I started, moving the wheels of my chair so I was a fair distance away from my mate, "I can't do this with you anymore. This isn't some game Amelia. I've been patient with you, but you continue to give me mixed messages and it isn't fair on me. I'm not putting myself through this. I'm not going to wait around for you until you get bored of messing around with other guys."

Amelia quickly stood up, desperation masking her face as I opened the front door, making my way out onto the patio of her house.

"Jared, wait, please just-"

"Just what?" I questioned, anger bubbling up inside of me, threatening to spill over. "Stay and continue to be played by you?"

She stood silent in front of me, tears dribbling down her cheeks, her mouth opening and closing as if she wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out.

"Until you know what you want, I'll be at home, but I'd rather be by myself while you figure it out. If you don't want to be together, then just reject me so we can both get on with our lives." I said, turning and quickly wheeling away down the hill, leaving my mate standing behind me in the harsh wind, tears cascading down her face.

I swallowed harshly, shaking my head to myself, furious that I felt this way towards Amelia. Despite it all, deep down, I still wanted her, and I knew it was wrong. I decided not to mention what she had done again to everyone else, knowing it would add more fuel to the fire, and I would be told by everyone around me to leave her.

The thought of Amelia coming to the decision to reject me pained me, almost making me feel like I was about to black out, but I knew I would take it on the chin and accept her rejection.

It wouldn't be the first time I wasn't wanted by someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally.

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