When I regained consciousness, the room was dark. Shards of light filtered through the curtains. I noticed that I'd been cleaned from the blood and dirt and dressed into a pink silk robe. The sash was loosely tied, exposing a triangle of skin on my chest.

My head still played a dull, painful beat but it was much better compared to yesterday where I could hardly form a sentence.

Jude's scent lingered in the air. He must've come earlier when I had been asleep. I dragged myself from the warm covers and followed his scent to the kitchen where he stood without a shirt. The muscles on his back rippled each time he moved. He only had his pyjamas bottoms donned. He was furiously whisking something in a bowl with his head bowed over the plastic. His thick locks draped across his brow, outlining the sharpness of his cheeks.

"What are you making?"

He didn't stop mixing. If anything, he just mixed harder. "Eggs."

"Can I help you with that?" I asked, wary.

"No."

I blinked. "Uh okay. Anything else I can do?"

"No."

I leaned against the door frame, taking in the rigid outline of his broad shoulders. "You're angry."

He dumped the whisk into the sink unceremoniously but didn't reply. He glared vehemently at the wall in front of him. I watched the vein in his neck throb.

"Jude, why are you angry?"

He froze then.

I knew that wasn't the smartest thing to say. I knew exactly why he was pissed.

He slammed the bowl down on the counter, the eggs swishing from the brim. "Moon Goddess help me or I'm going to do or say something I'll regret."

I moved towards him. Call me stupid or insane but having Jude's anger settled on me was not something I particularly enjoyed. "What is it?" I touched his arm, so he'd at least look at me.

Jude didn't disappoint. Thunderous grey eyes pinned me down in an instant. "You shouldn't have left the border Aella. Fucking tell me why the hell you would do something so fucking stupid like that?"

I jerked back from the harshness of his tone, surprised. "You're angry because I left the border?"

"No shit Sherlock. I'm fucking furious you would do something only an idiot would do. You should have informed one of my men."

"Are you implying that I'm the idiot?" I clenched my jaw, glaring up at his stormy expression.

His own jaw flexed with restrained rage. "Absou-fucking-lutely."

"I'm not an idiot. Don't fucking call me one!"

"Don't provoke me Aella, not now." His jaw tightened, moving pass so he'd get to the door, but I stopped him, grabbing his arm.

"May I at least know why I'm an idiot for crossing the border?"

"Are you serious? You're asking me the dangers of why it was such a fucking idiotic move to cross the border? You're now the Luna of this Pack Aella. Have you forgotten that? Once you leave Pack Territory, more danger can fall upon you. And it did. Those changelings attacked you. You could have fucking died again but once again; you don't give a flying shit."

I felt my defences rise.

"I have a meeting to get to. Excuse me." Jude pushed pass, leaving with an air of strained fury.

I slumped against the counter, rubbing my temples.

What the fuck did I just do?

***

"Are you feeling better?"

I felt my brows wrinkle in surprise. "Are you worried about me?" I asked Seamus who blatantly tried his best to not roll his eyes.

"I didn't ask for my benefit." He muttered, tapping the bridge of his thick frames sitting on his nose. As usual, he was dressed nicely in a tailored blue shirt and matching dress pants. He even had the leather variety of footwear.

"How is he?"

"Still pissed."

I groaned, slamming my forehead against my palm.

"Hmm, looks like you fucked up."

"Leave it up to you to not to sugar coat anything."

"Now why would you ever think that?"

"It must be your sunshine of a personality."

"I guess Jude isn't the only one whose miserable today."

I felt my shoulders droop. Was he still speaking?

"Word of advice, let him cool down for a bit because what you did was stupid. You're the Luna of the Pack now. Things are different."

"Not you too." A little voice in my head said that his words rang true, but I was still irritated with the stupid argument from this morning.

"I won't get into it, but you could have been in serious trouble Aella. You may have forgotten but you're the Luna of this Pack even if you are recruiting to be part of the Elite Syndicate. That's not the only thing. Jude is your mate. I might be stepping out of line- No, I am stepping out of line when I say this but I rather you hear this from me than anyone else. Every time you are out of sight, don't you think Jude is worrying about you?"

"I wasn't thinking Seamus. Please don't give me that look-"

"The facts are this, Aella. Jude doesn't need to lose anyone else who he cares about. I've watched over that man since he was a boy. Do you know how different he had been? He loved sneaking out of his bed at dusk so he could see fireflies with his mother. He couldn't hurt anything, couldn't bear to. When his father had banished a man from the Pack, the fool wanted to offer himself up instead because the man had two children who were crying. Of course, the man still was banished but do you know what Jude had done? He went after the man, gave him money that wasn't even his and told the man to look after himself. The poor guy came back with the money and risked execution trying to return the money because he didn't deserve the money as he had been reasonably punished for his crimes. His father had always been concerned that his little boy would be too soft or naïve to lead the Shadow Hunters, but their deaths ultimately sealed his fate. The man you see now is only a fragment of who he used to be."

"I'm such an idiot." I sighed, groaning into my palms. I believed him too. There were times that I caught very short glimpses of the Jude that was unknown to the rest of the world. It was heart-breaking that I may not ever see the same Jude Seamus had described. Maybe it was better. I didn't like the thought that Jude could be taken advantage of if he hadn't become the cold, firm force that he was today.

"Glad you realised."

"Not helping."

"I cannot lie."

"I'll talk to him."

"Start with his office. He has been locked in there for a long time. I fear the idiot has burnt a hole into his carpet from pacing the room."

I prepared to leave but I paused, "Actually, I have a question. How are they doing? Did Pen make it?"

"Pen?" A wrinkle of worry appeared between his brows, "Oh, the Rogue."

I nodded, despite feeling all sorts of frustrated. "Did she make it?"

A sudden feeling of fear unfurled in my gut as Seamus remained stoic and deliberately so. He idly brushed the length of his crisp shirt, eyeing the golden pin on his tie for an absurd amount of time.

He was stalling.

What was he hiding?

"Seamus."

"They're still in the forest."

Cold pricks danced along my skin. "What do you mean they're still the in the forest?"

"Once you enter the forest, it could be hours or days....or never when they emerge. The Weeping Forest is a place that's ever-changing Aella. You can't outrun the things you see or experience in there. Their exit depends on the way they manage their emotions and physical distress."

"They've been there longer than a day."

"And we will wait to see which ones will come out as conquerors."

"Do you keep tabs on them while they're in there?"

"No. This test is done on their own without eyes on them. If something happens to them, they will be on their own."

Concern waged war within me and I thought of Pen and her wicked grin. Was she going to be okay? I had no doubts about her ability to hold her own but I wasn't prepared to lose her. She had become like a sister to me and the mere idea that she was on her own, going through who knows what, had me fidgeting in concern.

Even Kian made me worry. I couldn't imagine not seeing his emo face ever again.

"I don't like that look on your face." Seamus said warily.

"Let me enter."

Seamus cursed, "You've just healed. Jude won't allow it either."

"I'll let him know before you take me. I should've been there by now."

"Yeah, and whose issue is that?"

"Seamus. Please." I pleaded, "It's my time."

"Jude will not let you go. Not after yesterday. You're being too reckless."

"He'll let me go." I promised, "I'll come for you in an hour." I raced towards the Pack house.

Seamus's yell grew faint in the wind as I raced further and further away.

The office door was closed when I reached it. I placed my hand on the wood, prepared to knock but the feminine voice inside made me freeze.

"I've never seen you like this before."

It took a moment, but I recognised Tess's voice through the wood.

What was she doing in Jude's office with the door locked shut? Cooling the rhythm of my heart, I held quiet, listening to Jude's low voice.

"I'm fine Tess. I just need to calm down."

"Hmm, I can only guess that Aella may be the cause of this shift in your emotions."

Who the hell made her the Pack therapist?

Instead of barging into the room like I wanted, I kept my feet on the solid ground. Waiting. Listening. I should've felt ashamed doing this, but my stubborn legs refused to give up their spot.

"I warned you about her. She's not ready to have this much responsibility heaped on her shoulders. She's so young."

"I always forget how young she is because she's always so....fearless." I heard the bitter but proud tone of his voice, "She's a danger to herself."

"I apologise if this may come off wrong but she's reckless. What happens if the next time she finds herself in danger, what will happen then? Will she get herself killed?"

"You need to have more faith in your Luna Tess. She wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone."

"But she doesn't deserve to be here Jude. Why did it take so long for you two to get together? Usually, mated pairs become bonded the first few minutes after they recognise each other."

"I won't be discussing my mating bond with you Tess."

"I'm sorry Jude but open your eyes a little bit. She's too young to be the Luna of this great Pack. She's doesn't even deserve you."

"Tess-"

"Just give me a second Jude. Let me speak for a bit, please."

No answer echoed. Tess took this as a sign to keeping talking.

"I'm just worried for you Jude. I've known you since we were kids. You were there for me when Ryan had died, and it was just Zaine and I. You helped us a lot and I'm eternally grateful for that. I care so much for you." Her voice became soft, "I thought after my grief over losing Ryan and all, we'd end up together-"

The rest of her words become static as I stared hard at the doorknob.

Why wasn't Jude kicking her out?

When it was clear that Jude wasn't going to send her away, I wasn't too sure if I liked the way I was feeling. An ugly emotion bubbled from within me with possessive rage. My wolf was clawing at the surface, wondering why the heck another woman was trying to find her talons in her mate.

"Has she told you she loves you?" Tess asked.

My heart dropped.

Silence was the only reply.

"See?" She gripped onto this little titbit, like her life depended on it, "I love you Jude. Not as a friend either. Don't look so surprised. You should've known."

"I apologise. I didn't realise you felt that way for me. I think it'll be best if you leave now."

"Jude!"

"I apologise if I've somehow led you on. It was unintentional. I have a mate Tess. Please go." The doorknob rattled. The door opened and Jude's gaze found mine. His eyes widened in shock seeing me there, but his expression faltered when he saw where my attention was drawn.

"Aella." He whispered, appearing as uncomfortable as I had ever seen him. He opened his mouth to explain but decided his silence was the better option.

I shifted on my feet, staring at the tips of my well-worn combat boots. Tess came into view. Her glare was a heatwave along my skin. " Aella." She acknowledged me, not even bothering to hide the bitterness in her tone. When she turned to address Jude, her tone was evidently more tender as she stepped out of his office, "We'll talk again some other time Jude. Please think things through."

When she left, leaving a trail of feminine perfume, I had the sudden urge to tackle her to the ground. She was the very image of what I envisioned a Luna to be. Confident, beautiful and so sure that everything would yield to her thoughts alone.

Jude didn't invite me inside his office. He was still angry. "How long were you out here Aella?"

"Long enough to hear her profess her undying love for you."

His lips formed a hint of a smile for a split second.

"What are you doing here Aella?" He leaned against the door frame.

"To apologise for everything. I'm sorry Jude, I know it was stupid of me to cross the border. I wasn't even thinking. Tatum and I just got lost in the moment running but then the changelings attacked, and you know the rest.... I'm just so sorry Jude. I keep forgetting that there is someone else that cares for me in this Pack."

I was suddenly afraid that he wouldn't take my apology, but his body went lax as he recoiled from the door frame. "Forgiven."

Relief instantly settled along my nerves like a healing balm.

Jude made a move towards me, but I blurted out the other reason I was standing there. "Seamus is waiting for me. I told him to let me enter the Weeping Forest today. I couldn't go without telling you sorry."

"I see." He remained in the doorway. His body was back to being tense and his expression had hardened a fraction. "Then, I'll see you when you get back." He clipped off, avoiding my gaze.

"You're angry again."

"Aella, go. I have things to do."

"What did I do this time?"

"Aella."

I stormed into the room, shutting the door- well, more like slamming the door. The shelves rattled. The noise echoed through the house loudly. Jude spun around, "What was that for?"

I closed the gap between us until I was up in his personal space. His jaw ticked but he refused to say anything. "Tell me the reason why you're still angry Jude."

A shadow crossed his expression as he studied my inquisitive gaze.

"I can't leave you like this before going in the Weeping Forest Jude. Tell me."

"You're the most fearless person I know."

His statement surprised me.

"But you're reckless too Aella. I don't doubt you'll make it out alive from the Weeping Forest, but I don't want you going there anyways. I don't like the idea of you being in danger, but I won't hold you back. I know this is something you want to do, and it just makes me angry I had put this as part of the test."

"I'll be okay."

His jaw was still tense as he stared pointedly over my shoulder, to a blank spot on the wall. "I believe in you Aella. Trust me. I do. It's just trying to not worry while I know you're going somewhere extremely dangerous. I'm permitting you to go to a death trap and it's killing me." He admitted.

"I love you." The words left my lips in an exhale.

His head spun around so fast, I feared he'd take his own head off.

It took me a few seconds to realise what I just had blurted. I wanted to steal them back but that felt entirely wrong. I couldn't do it and it felt too good to air out the confession that had been burning in my heart for some time now.

I could literally count on one hand the people who loved me and those I loved back.

The door shook when a knock rattled against it.

Jude responded to it first, but he was entirely distracted.

Seamus appeared at the doorway, "Are you prepared to leave?" He asked, his gaze moving to Jude since he was still staring at me like I had just dropped a bombshell on him. It might as well had been one considering he was still struck speechless.

I nodded.

I turned back to Jude, smiling despite the wild pace of my heart. "I'll be back soon."

He swallowed hard, not taking his eyes off me. He acknowledged my promise with something flickering in his gaze.

"You'll be back." He replied hoarsely.

I almost crumbled to my knees.

He was killing me with the amount of trust and faith he had for me.