There was a leaden weight taking residence in my chest, guilt.

It was guilt.

Guilt and I were well acquainted frenemies.

Before the sun had risen, I studied the man sleeping beside me. He didn't move around a lot when he slept. It was like he was confined to one place in the bed. I woke up with my hair in my face, my leg thrown high on his waist and my hand embedded in his hair. I was completely mortified. The only thing that softened the embarrassment was the merciful fact I hadn't been drooling on him. Or that he was awake.

It was hard pulling away from him since he was a light sleeper. Thankfully, he only shifted onto his back when I finally squirmed free.

Misty found me awake. She immediately pounced on my lap, curling on my thigh. Her pink nose nuzzled into me as she vibrated with soft purrs. I let her play with the strands of my hair.

Jude woke five minutes later. It was strange watching his expression still hazy with sleep first thing in the morning. He looked completely unguarded as he took in Misty with a sleepy grin. His gaze flew to mine but he made no move to sit up just yet. His hair was a ruffled mess, and his left cheek was pink from where he laid on his pillow.

I mentally congratulated myself for not allowing my gaze to sink lower than his chin. The man was shirtless, and it was distracting getting front row seats. He looked at ease surrounded by pillows, with the blanket tucked under his sun-kissed arms.

"Do you want some coffee?" My voice was still scratchy from sleep.

His gaze drifted across the room and back to me. I swore I'd never get used to his metallic gaze or the way he watched me like I took most of his attention and he simply couldn't help himself.

"That'll be good." He sat up. The sheets drifted to his waist, exposing the defined sharp V-shape of his hips.

Dayumm.

I had to get out of there before I jumped him, especially in this weakened state, most of my senses were gone along with my common sense. I scrambled out of bed, forgetting Misty was there until she hissed. Jude swiftly caught the white bundle and placed her on his chest, stroking her fluffy ears.

Yup, I needed to leave stat, or I was going to embarrass myself.

I grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and turned on the kettle.

"No sugar or milk please." His voice startled me from collecting two teaspoons from the drawer.

Oh dear lord, the man was half naked and too close. I huddled closer to the sink as awareness settled in. He moved to the table tucked near the open window. Sunlight caught his hair, making the strands look like they were lighter than they really were.

The kettle whistled as steam blew out. I placed a teaspoon into each of the mugs and added milk in mine with scoops of sugar. I didn't know how Jude could swallow the bitterness without gagging. I tried once and almost choked to death.

"Is it always like this?" I asked, placing his mug on the coaster sitting in front of him. "The sunrise". I clarified, gesturing to the open land and golden glow of the sun against the trees.

He took a long sip of his hot drink and stared solemnly outside. "Every day is like this."

I stared into the mug of coffee cupped in my hands. The warmth seeped into my palms, but I could barely feel it. That heavy weight, guilt still lingered in my chest.

He was here because of me. I was an obligation. Any other man who would have offered themselves to service me made my stomach twist in sickness. The mere idea made me want to vomit. It was a relief when Jude came. Any other man.... I couldn't even let the thought sink in or take full formation. I couldn't. Another man's hand on me.... yeah, no.

"Thank you." I whispered, staring at my mug intently. He didn't need to be here, yet he was despite how things unfolded between us.

His gaze was like a feather-like touch upon my face, "Don't thank me for this."

"Still, thank you." I took a timid sip of the coffee. The heat singed my tongue, I almost spat it out, but self-preservation kept me from doing it.

"It's my duty to take care of you."

"Duty?"

Of course.

How could I forget?

I hid my frown behind my mug.

I knew Jude had a strong sense of responsibility for those under his care. I just hadn't realised that his care extended to me. I wasn't sure what to feel.

His gaze searched mine, "You're part of my Pack. I am responsible for every member here, including you."

"I'm not part of your Pack."

"Are you not amongst the E.S Recruits?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm actually part of this Pack. We both don't know if I'll even make it to the end."

"You will." He said firmly, like it was an unfaltering truth.

I raised a brow, stunned by his admission. "Didn't realise you were suddenly an Oracle."

Jude narrowed his gaze, placing his mug on the coaster. "You're quite outspoken." He muttered, curling long fingers around the handle of the ceramic, "No one speaks to me the way you do, not even the men in my circle or Syndicate. They wouldn't dare to."

"You're kind of scary." I admitted, "And you have a very good RBF look too."

"RBF?" The man blinked.

"Resting bitch face."

He blinked again, then his lips did something incredible. They pulled into a grin, one so devilish I had to lean across the table and touch it just so I knew it was real. His breath was hot from the coffee and his lips were soft under my fingertips. I was still in a daze until his teeth abruptly nipped at the skin of my fingers.

I jerked back, shocked. "You bit me."

"You touched me first."

"Do you make it a habit of biting people?"

"Only when the need arises."

Flashes from yesterday made my cheeks heat. Oh goddess, my head was in the filthy gutter. Images of his calloused hands against my bare skin made me quiver and my thighs clench. This man. He was lethal. Absolutely lethal to my health and sanity. I cleared my throat and made a move to place my mug into the sink, but his hand shot out fast.

Suddenly I found my mug beside his and my body tucked into his with my thighs straddling his hips. My hands landed on his warm, firm chest; I felt the sturdy rhythm of his heartbeat pounding away.

Jude allowed enough space for me to wiggle out of his hold if I wanted to but I didn't want to leave. I wanted to bask in his presence some more. Having his gaze on me was addictive. I craved it. Jude seemed to read my need for him to be close. He determinedly closed the remaining gap between us. "Is this ok?"

"Yeah." I rasped.

The robe I had on slightly unravelled, splitting in the middle to reveal I was wearing nothing. His gaze lingered on the exposed skin. It was oddly fascinating watching his throat move. I shifted, wanted to slide off but his heavy paws landed on my hips, keeping me pressed against him.

The pulse between my thighs was so sudden, my breath hitched with arousal.

His nostrils flared when the scent caught the air. I was pudding when one hand reached out to play with a lock of my hair against my collarbone. Watching him twirl and twirl the hair around his fingers was like watching a hypnotist work their craft. I was swaying, well, grinding into his lap. His head fell back. His eyes hooded as he watched me sway back and forth over his lap.

In another time, I'd be mortified but I was trapped in a trance. A Jude-induced trance. His fingers drew languid patterns on my hips. His thumb brushed against the bare skin of my belly; the touch was pure seduction.

"What do you need?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and traced the veins on his forearms, trying to distract myself.

My lips fluttered against the pulse of his throat. He stilled; fingers frozen on me.

I. Licked. His. Neck.

A moan fell from his lips, vibrating his chest.

Why did he taste to good?

"What do you need?" His voice was barely recognisable. His wolf was out to play, and I knew if I peered into his face, the evidence of his wolf riding the surface would be there, etched into the perfect angles of his face.

I stopped moving across his lap and grasped his broad shoulders. They tensed under my touch.

"Aella." His voice was deeper. Rougher.

I sucked his earlobe. A hiss escaped his lips as he held my hips tightly. "Do you want me, Aella? Do you need my touch? Do you want me to make you feel better?"

My tongue flicked across his stubble, near the underside of his jaw. I was possessed. Desire made my back dip further into his touch.

What did I need?

My wolf growled.

I clenched my eyes shut, fighting the need. Fighting everything that made me want to stay in this man's lap and suck on his neck like a damn vampire. I wanted him. I wanted him so bad the confession ached.

I wanted him but I couldn't allow myself to have him.

"Let me make you feel good." Jude's voice against my neck made me quiver.

How could I deny him or myself from his reverent touch? My wolf demanded his hands everywhere. I needed this, whatever it was. My heart thumped, letting my thoughts weigh-in the pros and cons. It was a wonder I was hanging onto any coherent thought without drowning into his touch or addicting scent.

Could I partake of my forbidden fruit who watched me with unmasked desire?

I moved my hips again, shocked by the firmness of his cock against the juncture of my thighs.

His breath stuttered from his lips.

Then his lips were at my collarbone, sucking on the skin there. I whimpered, afloat in pleasure by the slow flicks of his tongue against my skin. My thighs squeezed his as my fingers dug into his shoulders. The top of my robe fell, leaving my breasts completely exposed. The cold was a shock to my system and then his hot mouth was there, covering my nipple, sucking the pink bud into his mouth.

I choked on a gasp. "Jude!"

My hands flew to his hair as his tongue leisurely rolled around my nipple. He sucked the bud right into his mouth again. I gasped, rocking my hips into his.

"Feel good?" He asked, his lips wet against my puckered nipple.

I nuzzled into his neck, breathing hard. My body wasn't ready for him or the damage he could do. For a minute, he let me hide but he slowly pulled away and captured my gaze. "You're so fucking beautiful." His words were harsh against my ear. "Tell me what you want Tinkerbell and I'll make it happen. I'll fucking make it reality. Tell me."

His bare chest felt like home against mine. Was this home?

Holding his eyes, I leaned back, thrusting my chest out.

He took this as a sign and sucked my other nipple into mouth. I grabbed his hair, pulling him closer. His other hand squeezed my other breast, toying with the nipple until his mouth replaced it with gusto, I barely could hang on.

My core throbbed. His groans made me wet-

The knock on the door made us freeze.

Jude slowly released my tortured nipple but not before nipping the underside of my breast. He cleared his throat, surprising me by how steady his voice sounded when he spoke to the intruders.

"Alpha, we have a problem. Someone trespassed into the Territory."

The voice was Emrys, one of his men from his inner circle.

As Emrys explained the situation in detail, Jude worked fast at pulling my robe over my shoulders, closing the lapels and tying the silk sash in a tidy knot. He was gentle with me when he hustled us to our feet. My knees felt weak as he ran his hands down my sides holding me still under his watchful gaze.

"I'll be out in two." He called out.

I hugged my arms across my chest, giving him a shaky grin I didn't feel. "Go. They need you."

"Aella." His throat bobbed. His finger touched my cheek, then cupped my jaw. "I'll be back soon."

I nodded, trying to fold into myself.

What just happened?

My skin tingled from where he touched, and I knew it'd be a while before the warmth of his touch disappeared. Maybe it was a gift in disguise that he needed to leave.

It reminded me that he was the Alpha. He had people counting on him, needing him. They needed him too.

I stepped back. His hands released me.

"I'll be back soon." The promise hung between us.

I closed my eyes. I didn't dare look at him until the door closed behind him.